Chapter 22
AN: Thank you so much for the review. Updates might be sporadic over the next few days as I am currently in the middle of a heatwave and can't use my computer too much as it gets too hot.
Ever since landing in Israel with Ari's body Ziva has been dreading this conversation, and as she waits in Eli's office she feels that dread increase. While she knows what she is going to tell him, and how her version of events will go she can't help but feel worried that he will see through her story, or worse realise who she is really is.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity of waiting, the door to the office opens and Eli walks in.
"Office Gibbs, good work in DC," Eli says as he walks in. "I have read your report, Agent Gibbs and Director Shepard's. You dealt with a difficult situation and gained the trust of both Director Shepard and Agent Gibbs, well done," Eli says, as he sits down at his desk.
"Thank you, Sir," Ziva says, not sure what else to say. "Sir, about Office Haswari…" Ziva starts to say, feeling like she is playing with fire but she also feels the need to talk about it.
"You did what you had to do," Eli says, clearly not wanting to talk about is.
"But he was your son," Ziva says before she can stop herself.
"He was a traitor. You did what had to be done," Eli explains, an edge to his voice. "Do not doubt that, Office Gibbs," Eli tells her, and even though Ziva tries to hide it a conflicted look passes over Ziva's face. "You're conflicted," Eli realises.
"I worked with Ari for months, to be the reason he is dead…" Ziva starts to say, it feeling extremely strange for her to have this conversation with Eli.
"I understand," Eli say and Ziva gives him an interested look. "I had a wife. After our daughters were killed by Hamas she became unhinged, plotted against me, and Israel," Eli reveals, and Ziva realises she is finally going to get the answer she wants; though she knows what Eli is saying isn't the whole story nor does it sound like the Ima she knew. "I did what I had to do," Eli reveals.
"You killed her?" Ziva asks, fighting to keep her voice calm.
"To protect Israel, it was my duty. You did your duty Officer Gibbs, you did what you needed to be done, focus on that," Eli reveals.
"Yes Sir," Ziva says, feeling like it might be one of the hardest things she has ever done to say those words without letting what she is really feeling show.
"Dismissed Office Gibbs," Eli says, and Ziva nods, and hurries out of the office, trying make it seem like that isn't what she is doing.
Having walked and driven on autopilot Ziva gets back to her apartment and once the door is locked behind her she slides down the door and completely breaks down. For years she has been searching for answers about to Ima, and now she has them she wishes she didn't. While she suspected Eli had something to do with her death ever since she found out about it is another matter to have it confirmed.
Feeling like she can't breathe, and that her heart is being ripped out, Ziva, who isn't sure she could walk if she tried, crawls over to her desk, and pulls out one of her phones. With great difficulty she manages to place a call.
"Shepard," Jenny answers.
"Jenny…" Ziva says, clearly struggling to talk and Jenny can tell she is extremely upset.
"Ziva? What's wrong?" Jenny asks, feeling like she has never heard Ziva this upset, and so she is pretty sure that she should call Gibbs.
"He killed he, he killed Ima," Ziva says, and because she knows details about Ziva's past, though not about Shannon and Kelly, she knows exactly what that means.
"Oh Ziva," Jenny says, feeling her heart break for her dear friend.
"I cannot stay here, I want to come home, is there a way for me to join NCIS?" Ziva requests, her voice hurried and hard to understand, though she isn't sure if she can just quit Mossad without Eli coming after her.
"I have a couple of ideas," Jenny reveals. "Just give me some time,"
"Okay," Ziva answers. "Dad… do not tell him I called," Ziva requests as she doesn't want him to worry about her.
"I won't," Jenny promises. "Ziva I will call you as soon as I have an idea," Jenny explains and Ziva nods. "Ziva?" Jenny asks concerned.
"Okay," Ziva responds. "I should go, thank you," Ziva says.
"You're welcome, and I'm sorry," Jenny tells her friend and Ziva hangs up.
After hanging up Ziva just drops her phone and reaches up and grabs the picture of her, Tali and Rivka that she kept hidden. Once she has the picture Ziva just holds it and continues to cry.
For the next couple of days Ziva, who is barely holding it together, does her best to avoid Eli as she is not sure she can see him without reacting to what she did. Ever since learning what happened to her Ima Ziva has felt alone as she only has one friend in Israel who she trusts, and he has been away, and is going to be for a while, so there has been no one for her to talk to.
Arriving back at her apartment after a long run, Ziva is just about to head to the shower when one of her phone rings.
"Gibbs," Ziva says, answering.
"How would you like to be on your Dad's team as a Liaison officer?" Jenny asks.
"That would be the dream," Ziva responds, feeling relief.
"Considering everything that has happened I thought Deputy Director David wouldn't just let you go, not unless I could come up with a reason that he would see beneficial to him," Jenny explains.
"Liaison would be perfect. He will see all the advantages and I can come home," Ziva says, as that's what she wants most, to go home.
"I'm going to call Eli in a few hours and I still have to talk to your Dad, but I don't see him having a problem," Jenny admits.
"Do not tell Dad," Ziva request.
"Ziva…" Jenny starts to say.
"He will just worry about me. It is better that he does not know until I am home," Ziva admits.
"You're probably right," Jenny admits, though she can see things being interesting when Gibbs finds out.
"If possible I would also like a chance to prove myself before the team find out who I am," Ziva requests.
"That one's between you and your Dad, but I don't see him agreeing to keeping the truth a secret for longer than a single case," Jenny says, knowing that because she knows Gibbs so well.
"You are probably right," Ziva admits. "Thank you Jenny, so much," Ziva says relieved.
"You're welcome Ziva, this is the least I could do," Jenny comments.
"Goodnight Jenny," Ziva says to her friend.
"Goodnight Ziva," Jenny responds, and they both hang up.
After hanging up with Jenny Ziva feels like a weight is lifted off her shoulders and even though she doesn't usually like to hope she also feels like everything is going to be okay.
About a month has passed Jenny explained her plan of Ziva becoming a liaison officer and ever since Ziva has been working with Jenny, both with Eli and without him, to plan what her being Liaison officer will look like.
As everything has been organized, apart from Gibbs knowing, and Eli feels that Ziva being in the position of Liaison officer will be a huge advantage to him, time has come for Ziva to leave Israel. Looking around the apartment which she has lived in but not really called home Ziva knows that she has no intention of coming back, so she looks around to make sure she hasn't left anything she wants, or that could be incriminating, behind.
Being sure she has everything that matters Ziva heads out of the apartment, without even a second look.
After a long, and rather uncomfortable, flight, Ziva has arrived in DC. Getting a cab Ziva doesn't head home, like she would like, as she has figured out another plan for how her father is going to find out about her being in DC, rather she heads to the house of someone else she can count of; who knows she is coming.
Arriving at the place she is going Ziva, feeling a little nervous, reaches out and knocks on the door, which opens seconds later.
"Ziva," Diane says, before hugging her. "It's so good to see you," Diane admits.
"It is good to see you too," Ziva responds, it feeling good to see her again, as they break apart.
"Come in," Diane says, letting her into the house. "Emily!" Diane yells and seconds later five-year-old Emily comes running into the room.
"Hi Emily," Ziva says, it feeling strange to see the girl she last saw as a baby as a little kid.
"Emily, this is Ziva, do you remember her?" Diane asks, though she doubts it.
"No, but I remember you, Daddy and Uncle Gibbs talking about her," Emily reveals. "You send me presents," Emily comments.
"When I could. It's really good to see you again Emily," Ziva says with a kind smile and before she reacts Emily runs forward and hugs her, tightly, and as she watches the two Diane just smiles.
"Are you hungry, Ziva? Dinner arrived a few minutes ago," Diane explains.
"Yes, I am hungry," Ziva confirms and she picks up Emily as the two of them follow Diane into the kitchen.
A couple of hours later Emily is in bed while Ziva and Diane are in the living room.
"So, your Dad doesn't know you're joining his team?" Diane asks, as Ziva is filing her in on what is going on.
"No," Ziva says, shaking her head. "I knew that Dad would just worry if he knew I was coming. I thought it was best if I just surprised it," Ziva explains.
"Normally Leroy doesn't like surprises, but I think he will like this one," Diane comments. "Ziva, do you want to talk about what you discovered?" Diane asks, as she does know about that.
"I should go to bed," Ziva comments.
"Ziva…" Diane starts to say, but Ziva stands up.
"I need to sleep, thank you for letting me stay, goodnight Diane," Ziva says before walking out of the room, without giving Diane a chance to say anything. As Diane watches her go she cannot help but be concerned as she knows that when Ziva doesn't talk about something it is because she is not okay.
A little while later Ziva is completely ready for bed but is just lying in Diane's spare bed. Even though she feels exhausted she can't sleep, rather she is just laying in bed, thinking. Ziva is thrilled that she will see her Dad in the morning though she cannot deny that it might feel a little strange to work for him.
Though she might have worries about the following morning those thoughts isn't what is keeping her up; what she learnt in Israel is. Just like every night since she learnt the truth Ziva is replaying what Eli said, and what she knew about her Ima over and over again.