Late August

Confrontation

Yumi was eating breakfast Wednesday morning a couple of weeks after her nightmare when she got a message from Xavier.

'Are you free for lunch today? I think we need to talk.'

The two of them had hung out a few times in the last couple weeks, but things had felt a little awkward since she called him about the dream. That awkwardness combined with his choice of words in the message had Yumi nervous. Still, he was her boyfriend and if he felt that they needed to talk, then they would. She sent him message asking him when and he offered to meet at noon at a small restaurant within easy walking distance from her house. The fact that he wanted to meet her there made her even more worried because he normally would have offered her a ride. After finishing breakfast, she's put her dishes in the sink and walked into the front room where her mother was folding laundry.

"Good morning, Yumi." She greeted cheerfully.

"Morning mom. I'm meeting Xavier for lunch today," Yumi replied, trying to return her mother's cheerfulness despite her unease.

"Ok, have a good time. I'm meeting your father for lunch and afterwards going to the store so I might not be here when you get back. Just let me know whether or not you plan on being home for dinner," she said without looking up from the pair of Hiroki's pants she was folding.

"Ok, mom. Sounds good!" After that short exchange, Yumi went back up to her room and spent some time trying to read a book, but quickly found herself unable to concentrate. Looking at the clock, she groaned loudly when she saw that there was still over three hours left before it was time to meet Xavier. In an effort to occupy herself, she messaged Sissi.

'I've got some free time this morning, want to get some sparring in?'

A couple minutes later she got a response.

'Spending the day with my dad, sorry.'

Jean-Pierre was normally very busy running Kadic, so Yumi was glad that him and Sissi were able to get some father-daughter time in. Unfortunately that didn't help her own situation any. She eventually ended up helping her mom with laundry until it was time for her to leave.

Approaching the restaurant, Yumi checked the time on her phone to see that she was a few minutes early. She didn't see Xavier's scooter in the parking lot so she went inside to get a table... preferably one with some privacy! Shortly after sitting down, Xavier walked through the door. She waved him over and he sat down.

"Hi, Xavier," she greeted.

"Hi, Yumi," he murmured in reply. Something was clearly bothering him. Yumi was about to ask what was wrong, but was interrupted by a waitress who took their drink orders. Deciding to wait until after ordering to ask what Xavier needed to talk about, she opened her menu and did her best to ignore the awkward silence between her and her boyfriend while she decided what to order.

After the waitress came and left with their meal orders, Yumi gathered her courage and asked, "what's going on? What did you need to talk about?" Xavier sighed lightly before replying.

"I keep thinking about the other night..." he said quietly. Yumi suddenly didn't feel very hungry as her stomach folded in on itself. "Everything I've learned about you in the last few months tells me that you wouldn't be the kind of person to get worked up from just a dream." Yumi gulped and he continued, "so I've been thinking that there's got to be more to it than that... something that you have a hard time talking about... is that true?" Yumi didn't say anything and instead looked at the table. "Yumi, please look at me." She did so and was surprised that there wasn't a trace of anger in his face, just concerned and a little hurt. "Does it have to do with the mysterious late nights your parents mentioned?" She cast her eyes back toward the table. She didn't want to lie, but she just couldn't tell him the truth or at least not the whole truth. However, her silence must have confirmed his suspicions because he continued speaking. "Whatever it was must have really been dangerous then to cause nightmares like that... did it have to do with Aelita's family?" Yumi jerked her head up with eyes wide. Him making that connection took her completely by surprise!

"I-I said she was an orphan..." she managed to stammer out.

"I know, but you were also scrambling when you told me that so if figured there was much more to the story. At the time I let it go because I figured it was between her and Jeremy and at some point he'd asked for your advice. Then you had that nightmare and the way you're scrambling again now makes me think that you were probably more directly involved." Yumi was starting to wonder just how perceptive he was!

"I... I can't talk about it," she admitted quietly, causing Xavier to sigh.

Their conversation was interrupted when the waitress walked over and delivered their lunches. For the next several minutes, the two of them ate their meals in awkward silence, but as they were about to finish, Xavier spoke up.

"You know, I want to be able to provide comfort and reassurance to you when you need it." Xavier paused for a second to let his words sink in. "But if you can't open up to me, then I'll never be able to because I'll never know what you've been through." Never once did he look angry. He just kept that same hurt and concerned expression the whole time.

"I know," Yumi whispered.

"If you don't feel you can tell me right now, I'm really ok with that. After all, we've only known each other for a few months." Yumi narrowed her eyes a little in surprise before he continued. "But I have to ask you something."

"What's that?" She asked quietly.

"Will you ever be able to tell me what happened?"

Yumi looked back down at her food and absently pushed what was left of it around her plate. "Then what are we doing?" Xavier asked. Yumi looked back up.

"What do you mean?"

"I like you a lot Yumi, but if you'll never be able to trust me with your past... no..." he looked away for a second and shook his head. He put a finger up to his mouth while he thought about how he wanted to phrase his next question. Several seconds later he pulled it away. "How would we ever be able build a future together if you can't trust me..."

Yumi's eyes shot wide open. "Future together?"

"Yeah." Yumi continued staring at him. "I didn't ask you to go out with me just for fun. I'm graduating next year, and I always hoped that I'd meet and fall in love with someone in college where there's a lot more opportunity to meet people. I also always hoped to be able to get married shortly after graduating, getting a real job, and a place of my own."

"Oh..." said Yumi. She had joked about it with Hiroki when Xavier came to dinner, but hadn't really given it that much thought.

"Of course I'm not asking you to marry me right now, but I decided a long time ago that I would always date with the viability of marriage in mind. I guess I thought you were on the same page, that we were both looking to see if this could last. Was I wrong?"

"I guess so... sorry. I never really thought that far ahead," Yumi replied meekly. Xavier scraped the last of his bit of food together onto his fork and ate it, finishing his lunch. He looked back up at Yumi.

"I'm going to ask you something, and I just want you to be honest, okay? I promise I won't get mad, and I'm not going to ask about your high school late-nights." Yumi nodded. "Throughout this whole relationship it's felt like we're just friends who kiss on occasion, and I sometimes put my arm around you. It also seems like I'm always the one initiating everything too." Yumi listened attentively, but she had a feeling she knew where this was going. "Do you actually like me as more than just a friend? Or are you just going through the motions." Now that she was thinking about it directly, there was only one answer.

"I like you, and spending time with you, but I guess not like that." Xavier looked down at his empty plate.

"I thought so."

"I wanted to, and I did try..." Xavier held his hand up, cutting her off.

"It's ok. Thank you for being honest. Neither one of us can make you feel something that you don't, and I'd rather have found out now than months or years from now." He picked up the bill and stood up. "I guess this is goodbye. Maybe we'll see each other next semester... and maybe even be able to pick back up as just friends," he said as he shrugged.

"Yeah... maybe. I'm sorry."

"You feel how you feel, and you don't have to apologize for that. We gave it a shot and it didn't work. Sometimes that's just the way it goes." He started heading for the door, but stopped about two steps later. He turned around with a look on his face that Yumi couldn't quite identify. "Can I ask you one more thing, just to satisfy my own curiosity? Again, I promise I won't get mad."

"Yes," Yumi replied. She figured that with everything that had come out in the open today, there wasn't much more to hide.

"The night you had that dream... did you talk to Ulrich after talking to me?" Yumi gasped, and wondered how he guessed that.

"Yeah... I did." He shut his eyes and pursed his lips for a few moments.

"Maybe you should spend some time thinking about wh... what you really want." Before Yumi could ask what he meant, he had already turned around and was at the counter paying the bill. After he left, Yumi just sat there for another few minutes with her brain twisting itself in knots trying to fathom his closing statement. After giving up, she let out a sigh and started the walk home.

Entering her house, Yumi found her brother playing a video game in the front room with his back to her.

"Hi Sis! I figured you be out with Xavier until later," he greeted after glancing over his shoulder.

"No..." she debated internally whether or not she should tell him about the breakup now or not, but with her parents gone she quickly decided that now was probably the best time. "Actually... we broke up today." He paused his game and turned around to look at her.

"I'm sorry to hear that..." he began, and even sounded honest about it. "But after he came over to dinner I really didn't see the two of you lasting."

"Thanks..." Yumi retorted sarcastically.

"Don't get me wrong, he seemed like a really nice guy. He definitely liked you, but it really didn't look like you were actually all that interested in him. I was going to talk to you about it after he left that evening, but then you got a message from Ulrich and we haven't talked much since."

Yumi cocked an eyebrow. "How did you that was Ulrich?"

Her brother chuckled slightly. "The look on your face when you read it. It was the same as every other time he messages you or you talk to him. It's kind of a warm glow." Yumi felt her cheeks flush. "That's the other reason I didn't see you and Xavier working out, because you still love Ulrich. You're just to proud... or stubborn... or both to admit it!"

Yumi scowled at her little brother. "Ok, lets get something straight; this hero complex that you've always had on Ulrich really needs to stop!" Hiroki returned his sister's glare. "And we broke up almost a year ago! And..."

"You talk to him almost every Wednesday and Friday!" Hiroki interrupted, taking Yumi completely aback.

"How did you know that?"

He smirked in smug satisfaction. "I pay attention, and my room is right next to yours!" He let out a huff. "I'll admit that there was a time when I did have a hero complex, but that was before he started hanging out around here more often. Over the years I got to know him a lot better and the hero complex went away. Do you want to know what replaced it."

"What?" asked Yumi, feeling both curiosity and frustration.

"Genuine respect." He paused to let it sink in. "Respect for how hard of a worker he is. After all, we both know that school doesn't come easily to him, yet he's still somehow managing to balance classwork, soccer, and talking to you twice a week!" Yumi had to admit that Hiroki had a point there, and she had a lot of respect for Ulrich for the same reasons! "And I always respected how he treated you when you were dating." Yumi opened her mouth to give a rebuttal, but she couldn't argue with that either so she just shut it again without saying anything. "I told you that I just want you to be happy, but I've never seen you happier than when you were with Ulrich... Heck I still never see you happier than when you're talking to him!"

"Hiroki, we're just friends now and I've moved on." Yumi retorted, though she didn't sound anywhere near as confident as she wished she did.

Hiroki stood up and pulled on his hair for a moment in frustration, then snapped, "Yumi, stop lying!"

Yumi's face scrunched, practically disgusted at his accusation. "Wait, now you think I'm lying to you!" she growled back.

"If you were just lying to me, I really wouldn't care very much, but you need to stop lying to YOURSELF!" Hiroki's words shook Yumi to the core, and her mind flooded with all the thoughts about missing Ulrich that she'd been pushing aside. The only sound was the two siblings' heavy breathing from the argument that was so very heated only moments before. A few seconds went by then Hiroki dared to break the silence and quietly spoke. "If you can look me in the eye and tell me that you do not love Ulrich Stern anymore, then I will believe you and promise to never bring it up again." Yumi looked at her brother and opened her mouth to speak.

"I..." but she couldn't do it and she started trembling. Her inability to say those words combined with all the thought and memories buzzing through her mind forced her to admit that she had been deluding herself with her attempts at moving on... to finally admit that there was truly only one person that she wanted... and her heart sank as she remembered that he had just started seeing someone else...

"You can't do it, can you," Hiroki said quietly. Frustration with herself and the current situation filled Yumi and she lashed out at her brother.

"Just shut up, Hiroki!" she shouted, and stormed out of the house, slamming the door as she left.

I will NOT cry, I will NOT cry! She repeated to herself as she started to walk quickly away from her home. Almost immediately her anger gave way to sharp regret at her actions a year and she slowed her pace, but she kept up her mantra and somehow she succeeded in keeping the tears back. For the next several minutes she walked without paying attention to where she was going, but soon found herself at Sissi's apartment. She knocked on the door and Sissi answered.

"Hi Yumi, is something wrong?" she asked, seeing the troubled look on her friend's face.

"I've been an idiot," Yumi replied meekly, not meeting her friend's gaze. Sissi stepped back from the doorway and smiled slightly, figuring that she knew what this was about.

"Come on in." Yumi stepped in the door and the taller girl wrapped her in a comforting hug for the next minute. Breaking away from each other they moved to, and sat on the sofa. "So, what happened?" Sissi asked. Yumi relayed the events of the day and somehow managed to keep her eyes dry throughout the story. When she was done, Sissi chuckled wryly. "It's about time. I was going to say the same thing that Hiroki did when you told me that you and him had started doing your homework 'together,' but then you started seeing Xavier so I didn't. I knew you'd figure out that he wasn't the one for you eventually." She smiled gently. "So, when are you going to tell Ulrich."

"That's the problem... it might be too late."

"What to you mean?" Sissi asked, her smile fading.

"Do you know about Anya?" Yumi asked.

"I think Ulrich has mentioned the name before, but I honestly haven't talked to him in a few weeks."

Yumi squeezed her eyes shut in order to prevent another wave of tears. "A couple weeks ago they went on a date that went well enough to schedule another one for last Saturday."

Sissi sighed lightly. "I see."

"He was supportive of me when I told him I was going on the date with Jacques and the whole relationship with Xavier. If nothing else, then he deserves my support if she'll make him happy. If it doesn't work out, then I'll tell him everything."

Sissi frowned. "Well... I guess I understand. Somehow I've got the feeling that it won't last very long though."

"Selfishly, I hope you're right." Yumi looked at the clock. "I should probably get going. Thanks for listening."

They both stood up and hugged tightly. "That's what friends are for. Good luck Yumi... with everything."

Yumi left and when she got home she went straight to her room without talking to anyone. She picked up the book she had tried reading earlier in the day, flopped down on the bed, and stared blankly at a random page. A few minutes later there was a knock at her door.

"Yumi, are you in there?" called her mother.

"Yeah, come on in," she replied, not even bothering to try to sound cheerful anymore. Her mom entered and sat on the bed next to her.

"Hiroki said that you two had a fight."

"Yeah, we did."

"He told me that he said some things that probably hurt a lot, and that he felt bad about it." Yumi grunted out a small laugh.

"Yeah... some of what he said really dug deep... but it was all true. He really is a smart kid."

Akiko smiled. "Yes he is. Do you want to talk about it?"

Yumi clapped her hand to her forehead. "Everyone else already knows how I screwed up my love-life, I guess you may as well too!" she said with a laugh. "Xavier broke up with me."

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," her mom said, in probably the most motherly way possible.

"It's fine. It wasn't going to work out and it seems that everyone already knew it but me!" Yumi exclaimed. She was still laughing, though she didn't know what was so funny.

"To be honest, I didn't think so either. He just didn't seem your type."

Yumi stopped laughing. "You're right... but still I screwed up."

"What do you mean?"

"I should have never broke up with Ulrich... or at least not without talking to him and trying to make things work. Instead I just made the decision for both of us... again!" The older woman looked at her daughter with concern.

"But that was a year ago..."

"Yeah, I know." Yumi then told her about the how she had started talking to Ulrich again a couple months after the breakup, how frequently, her recent and sudden realizations of her continued feelings for him, and... Anya.

"I had no idea." Akiko said when Yumi finished. "You shouldn't worry too much, things tend to have a way of working themselves out."

"I hope you're right."

"I've got to get started on dinner, but you know you can always talk to me." Yumi nodded and her mother left, leaving Yumi alone with her thoughts and feelings. The worst part of everything, though, was the guilt of knowing that this is was the anguish she had been putting Ulrich through for the entire last year...

A/N: Finally, she gets it! I hope you liked the chapter, and feel free to review/favorite/follow... or not if you're so inclined! The next chapter will probably be a bit shorter, but this one is longer than usual so I guess it makes up for it!