"Assaulting a member of the police, though. That's a serious offense."
"I deserved it," Lestrade told them as he wiped the blood out of his right ear.
"He really did a number on you," the Sergeant told him.
"I'd've done the same to him under similar circumstances."
After some thorough convincing, Lestrade had the police drop all charges against John.
"He avoided your nose and teeth; he can't be all that angry," I assured him.
"Shut up," Lestrade growled.
"All I'm saying is he left your pretty little face intact while he tried getting the message through your skull."
"What message was that?"
"Don't fuck with Sherlock Holmes."
"I don't plan on it, ever again."
I felt a bit dejected, "Perhaps once more?"
"Nuh-uh. We're through. You call me an idiot, have your friend bash my head in, and worse still, I'm being threatened with my livelihood? Why would I put myself through all of that?"
"Hmmm, I recall you saying it was the best sex you'd ever had and that you never wanted it to end? I believe you said I'm a freak in between the sheets. And that if you could, you'd take my virginity every night…"
"I was exaggerating."
"No you weren't."
"I'm technically your boss."
"I'm a freelancer."
"I'm your boss," he gripped my thigh and I tensed up.
"Shall I call you sir?"
"Ooh, I like the sound of that."
The door opened, interrupting our playful banter.
"Go away!" I groaned.
"It's your brother," the nurse said.
"Double go away!"
"Sherlock, I don't make a point of visiting anyone when they're in the infirmary." Mycroft said through his surgical mask. "Ah, Detective Inspector Lestrade, what a surprise…"
"Don't worry, he's aware of Gregson," I told him.
"So he is…" Mycroft looked him over. I could hear his pocket watch ticking.
"He's just now leaving," I nudged Lestrade in the thigh so he'd take a hint.
"Yes, I've got to go now…" he said robotically.
I rubbed my forehead, willing the agony to come to an end.
"I've been in contact with Tobias Gregson." Mycroft pulled at his gloves nervously. "He isn't interested in cash. He wants something far worse…"
"I knew it wouldn't be enough for him," I sighed.
"He wants to be… part of the family."
"Who would want that?"
"I know…"
"But he's been investigating us! He even slept with Lestrade for intel!"
"I know…" Mycroft shuddered.
"It's unbelievable! If he knows so much about us, he'd never want to be related!"
"I haven't the slightest idea what compels people to think blood is thicker; yet here we are!"
Here we were indeed.