A Long Way Home

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!

I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.

A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted.

Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.

Previously

"I'm sorry, this is tough timing, but I heard another lie after you promised you would always be truthful to me. Well, I want you to get well, then we'll see how you feel emotionally, right now, I think you're looking for another long-distance, I don't have to invest much in a relationship, and Kate, that's not with me. With me in London, you would be sure I wouldn't crowd you, or ask you to stop doing the thing that put you in that hospital bed, almost a grave beside your Mom."

"Rick, please, I do love you, you have to believe me."

"Kate, I DO believe YOU believe that work on it with your therapist and see if he agrees. I'm sorry if you need something you know how to reach me, and yes, it's through Beth. I know she has feelings, deep feelings for me, but you see, she would do anything to make me happy, anything.

"I'm not there, not yet, but Kate, take a look at your life, what chasing this man has done, to you, your Dad, how much more will it take for you to see, it's not worth it, and I'm sorry, I really don't think your Mom would want you to live like this. Once again, I stuck my nose in your business, so before I say more to piss you off, get well soon, Kate, I do love you, but not enough to be second in your life. Goodbye"

***************************************************************************/

Chapter 20

Thursday, Day after Visit to Kate Beckett

8:30 AM Castle's Loft

Rick had stuck to his guns when he had seen Kate face to face, one on one, God how he wanted to cave in, just to be with her but he knew it would be like making a deal with the devil, sooner or later the payment comes due. He did love her, seeing her almost die in front of or in his arms had truly shaken him. He had to stand firm or he would always be what she got around to, not her equal in a relationship, and he knew, it would never work.

Gina was at the Loft when he returned, took one look at him, kissed him softly, and said, quietly, "you did the right thing Love, you can't stop just because this happened. She has to realize someday she or someone she loves will be killed for her fucking quest. I can't tell you how much Alexis and I both worried every night you were out there, it scared me to death." She pulled him into a hug and just held him,

"I know Gina, I know but it didn't make it any easier, it would be like me hurting you or Beth, I mean, I never would if I could help it, yet I know I have. I'm a guy, I don't see the small things that hurt your feelings, and for that I'm sorry, I mean between you two I don't know how I have survived this past year or so."

"Hey, it's OK, we understand, you've been through a lot, and believe me, I know when I'm not there, Beth loves you just as much, maybe more, than I do, so Rick, when the time is right, go for it, Love. I mean, she's waiting patiently, she turned down a multitude of dates from guys here, just to be close to you. Don't make her your Castle and you act like Beckett, what I'm saying is don't string her along, you know how that hurts." His face shows shock, then embarrassment, as he realizes that's what he has done

"Where is she Gina, I mean I would like to take you all out at least once before we have to head back"

"She's upstairs, but Rick, why don't just the two of you go, she deserves some alone time just to talk to you if nothing else, Alexis and I have plans anyway." Gina looked down meaning she and Alexis were clearing any roadblocks, a sign of both of their blessings if he wanted to pursue something with Beth.

He went upstairs and knocked on the door gently, a moment later Beth opened the door, obvious signs that she had been crying,

"Beth, is everything OK? You've been crying, what's the matter?"

"It's nothing Rick, just got a twinge of homesickness", she lied

"Oh, homesick eh, well you know I know when you aren't telling me the truth, don't you? You always tell the truth, but when you try to sneak a fib into the conversation, I can tell, I won't tell you how, but do you want to try that again, please?" He smiled, not angry, more amused at how her nose crinkled just like Alexis did when they tried to fib.

"OK, I was worried about how your visit with the Detective would go, it always seems to upset you or bring back bad memories when you see her, and, well I didn't want that for you" she blushed,

"Well, I wanted to take you out to dinner tonight, just you and I, look I know it's been a crummy vacation over here, you worked over half of it, and I was always somewhere else so if you aren't busy, would you have dinner with me this evening?"

Now her face had gone from a slight blush to full-blown pink, "Rick, that would be lovely, but what about Gina and Alexis, I mean it wouldn't be polite to just leave them, our second last night off before we fly back would it?" She asked sincerely

"You're right it would be rude, but you see they have plans, I think it's their idea for us to spend some time alone to talk, just the two of us, so I thought dinner at a nice restaurant and perhaps some dancing, that is if you would like that or we could grab a pizza whatever you want to do." It was Rick's turn to stammer like a schoolboy,

"Rick, dinner, and dancing, well it sounds lovely, can I have a few hours to prepare, say 7:00 PM would that be OK?"

"Fantastic Beth, our reservations are for 8:00 PM so that would give us time to arrive, relax and have a drink before dinner, well I'll let you get ready, pick you up at 7:00 PM, and Thank You, Beth, I really appreciate every extra thing you have done for us all, I have noticed, even if I haven't thanked you before," He said quietly, looking deep into her eyes for perhaps the first time, God those eyes he could get lost in them, no wonder he stayed clear,

"Now get off with you, shoos," she laughed, "I'll see you soon, and Thanks Rick, I'm looking forward to this evening."

He came back down the stairs to see a smiling Gina, with her arm around Alexis, a look of approval on her face as well.

"She's nice Dad, she's not like anyone else besides Mom, she really cares about you, about all of us." She had a look on her face,

"Oh Rick, since Martha left this morning, AND we know she's definitely not in New York, Alexis and I are going out for a girl's night, then she's going to crash at my house, that is if that's OK with you" she had that look on her face,

"OK but don't think this will change anything, I mean, I like her, I like her a lot, but well, I'm not ready for anything yet"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, and please don't tell me when or if you do, I don't want to know the details, just spend some time with a lovely, unattached lady who loves you, and has stood in the shadows, waiting for you to be ready, Alexis is right, she cares so go and have a good time, OK?"

She leaned in and kissed his cheek, "we'll be back for brunch tomorrow, say around 1:00 so we can spend the last day with you, OK?" an evil wink followed, and they were out the door.

Alexis came rushing back in, "Bye Dad, be happy, whatever that is, OK? We love you and Beth is so sweet, Good Night" then out the door she went.

Xx

7:00 PM Sharp

Outside the Guest Room,

Rick found himself shyly knocking on the guest room door, feeling more like a schoolboy than he had felt in a very long time, especially in his own home. When the door opened, he almost lost his breath, Beth was more than beautiful, she was a living doll.

"You're beautiful Beth, I'm speechless" as he placed a small corsage on her wrist,

"Thank You, Rick, are you sure, I mean, I only had a few hours, I hope I look OK for you,"

"Beth, you look more than OK, you took my breath away, shall we? He asked as he extended

his arm which she took, and he guided her down the stairs,

"You look great as well Rick, and your cologne, I could smell that all night long, it smells heavenly. I just want to snuggle into your neck and breath you in," realizing what she had just said, "oh my God, I'm so sorry"

Rick smiled as he kissed her gently on the lips for the first time, "Its OK, I know what you mean, you look like an Angel, I could just stare at you all night, as well," she giggled, and then they started out the door.

"I hope Gina doesn't get upset with it being just us Rick, I mean, given than, well, eh"

"You mean given that she's my ex-wife and we still love each other in a special way, that way is not for lovers or marriage Beth, we both know it. It was her idea to take Alexis out for the entire evening, they won't be back till brunch tomorrow at 1:00, she made it a point to tell me three times."

Beth laughed, "well being honest Rick, I got the talk earlier in the day, when you saw the tears, that was before Gina and I talked. She told me that no matter how you felt about the Detective, there was nothing to worry about, not now, not until she proved herself to be truthful and not setting you up for just another hurt.

"I was upset, maybe because I care about you all, but the last four months we have worked together has been almost like going to a party every day, it never feels like work. Gina couldn't have been nicer, explaining everything, I just was afraid you were going to come home, and end the deal, and our working together"

"Well Beth, first of all, we have four more books to pump out, and what would it say if I was to quit at this point, I know we have grown close, closer than I've been to anyone but Alexis and Gina in a very long time. I would never hurt you like that; I promise you I'll always tell you what's happening, that's what I ask from you, OK?"

"Of course, Rick, I know the history of the lies, how much they hurt. I had my own experience as well, so as you do, I insist on just one thing, honesty." Rick smiled, Beth leaned into him and returned his kiss, and damn it felt good, her lips were so soft, he wanted more. Easy Rick, the evening is young he thought. He opened his eyes to see those killer eyes locked on him,

"I've wanted to do that since the first time I saw you, I hope you don't mind," her answer came with a return kiss, then he heard Eduardo clear his throat as he escorted them to their waiting limo.

The remainder of the evening was beautiful, both laughing over little things they had in common but had not known. They had worked together this close for months and didn't know, like for instance when he asked her favorite color, they both answered at the same time,

"Mine is blue" then laughed more, as they discovered the intimate details of each other's lives.

She went into great detail how she really screwed up as a teen, she owned it totally, and her life with the older abusive boyfriend, then husband, their meager attempts at grating out a life here in the states, how they have moved from pillar to post finally winding up in Philadelphia, where she lost the baby, then suffered the beatings until she fled.

She spared no details even her life in a woman's shelter till she could get back to her home in the UK, then rebuilding her life, finally graduating, and receiving a grant for college where she waited tables to pay for her portion of rent. She expressed how grateful she was to her parents for forgiving her, and for offering her a second, well 15th-second chance.

She spoke of her love for her Dad, and Rick could tell from her words she had been a Daddy's girl, much like his pumpkin was to him. Then how he was diagnosed and died within two years of her graduating, a proud Dad. She had tears in her eyes when she spoke of him, and a faraway look, almost as if she were remembering him even as she spoke. Rick reached out, took her hand and gently wiped a tear from one of her eyes,

"I only hope Alexis feels that way someday about me when I'm only a memory, I hope it's a good one for her," he said quietly,

"You have to be kidding right? That girl lives and breathes for her Dad, next to her Mom. I know Gina isn't her birth Mom but you would never know it, by the way, those two interacts. Really, I would hate to be the man she's judging against you, they have an awfully high bar to pass. She's not the spoiled Rich Kid, she's very grounded, loves to a fault, and was taught well by her dad to always consider others before doing something, a heck of a job Rick"

"Well, I got lucky with her, she more or less raised me," he said as his eyes sparkled with pride.

"Well, she told me you would say that, and in some ways, she said it was true, but she also told me to ask where you two were at every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and holiday? Yeah, Rick, she told me you didn't just talk about charity and helping others less fortunate, you showed her with your actions when you started to take her to the soup kitchens to help as a young girl"

"She told you that? I mean when we first started to go, she always hated it, wanted to know what the big deal was. When she was about 14, I think she found a scrapbook my Mother was keeping, she saw the living conditions we had weren't exactly the style she's always enjoyed.

"She asked a lot of questions, and I did what I always have done, told her the truth. Some months we ate one meal a day when Mother was between jobs, we slept on friend's sofa's, I was made fun of in school, even though I was a scholarship kid, the others knew I didn't fit in. I think that's when I started using humor as a defense, I still do today." He looked down, and this time it was Beth who reached over and took his hand,

"You know what I think, I think that made Alexis even more proud of you. It's easy when you come from wealth to be successful, but to work your way from the very bottom, well then you know it was the talent that got you where you're at." She squeezed his hand, and when he looked into her eyes, she had that sparkle in them, like she was proud as well.

"Well, I bounced from school to school, I first thought I wanted to be a race car driver, one of Mother's many boyfriends, but then I was at the library and some man handed me Casino Royale. When I had finished it, I knew without a doubt what I wanted to be, a writer. I started and I was bad, well bad wasn't the word, I was horrible" he smiled as Beth giggled,

"What turned things around for you Rick, what made you this world-famous author I feel so comfortable with sitting holding hands with as we sit in a fancy restaurant?"

"A friend, well he's an entirely different story I will tell you about on our next date, eh that is I mean"

"Of course, our next date, I would love to go out again, even if It will be in England, I'll host it next time, so tell me what happened" she leaned in and kissed him ever so gently and lovingly

He smiled, "Well Damian Westlake was the editor of the school newspaper, he took an interest in me after I submitted some work, it was awful when it came to news standards, but he encouraged me to write longer features, possibly even a book. He took the time to give me tips and pointers, and then In a Hail of Bullets was published, and well, I went nuts, spending money like it was water"

"Was that after you received the Nom DePlume Society's prestigious Tom Straw Award for Mystery Literature? Rick, I've followed you for years, and yes, my Mom is your number one fangirl, but I guess I'm number two. I even told Gina I had a posture on my wall of you when I was younger"

"You know Beth, not many people even know about the award, much less that I was lucky enough to receive it while I was still in college, so thank you. You truly are a fan, and now my partner as we kick ass for Lord B."

"I love the fact that you always treat me as your equal, I heard you tell your Mother about the gluten-free doughnut at the hospital Rick, I didn't mind, but you defending me, well it made me feel well even more close to you.

"Look, I know that Kate broke your heart in a million pieces, I understand, but if you give me a chance, at whatever speed you want to take it, I'll do my best to make your heart want to sing love songs again. I'm not asking for anything, but please, please tell me if you find someone else.

"I mean, I don't have that right and I've tried to take it slowly, but I want you to hear it from me, I think I'm in love with you, so before this gets messy, if you don't feel anything for me, I'll ask Lord Barrow to arrange a replacement once we get back"

Rick leaned over and kissed her, "Do you mind if we skip the dancing, I just want to be alone with you tonight"

"Ready anytime you are, and that's exactly what I want"

TBC