Don't Leave

February 1998
Aurora

Aurora was roused from her sleep by someone banging on her door. At first, she thought she was still dreaming and couldn't understand what was going on, but then she sat up in bed and looked around the dark room, rubbing her eyes as fear pierced her heart. Something was wrong. Was it the baby? Or Ellie? Perhaps something had happened to Harry?

"Aurora! Get out here! We need you!" someone shouted through the door. She quickly threw off her covers and grabbed her robe, tossing it on as she ran to the door. She pulled it open, seeing one of the aurors standing there.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"It's Remus," he said. "He's back and he's badly injured." Aurora looked down the hall and immediately took off running, rushing down the stairs and through the manor. She could see light from the den and rushed in, seeing Remus laid out on the sofa, bloody and bruised. Tonks was crouched on the floor next to him, as he shouted in pain.

"What's wrong?" Aurora asked as she ran up, pushing her fear aside as she looked over his wounds. It looked bad. Very bad. She was honestly wondering how it was he was still somewhat conscious with the amount of pain he must be in. He locked eyes with her, but just as quickly, they glazed over as he groaned.

"He had a run in with some less than friendly werewolves," Shacklebolt said grimly. Aurora nodded as she dropped down to her knees.

"I need dittany, and…" she paused a moment before rattling off a list of salves and potions, then looked at Shacklebolt.

"I'll get them," he said, quickly leaving the room.

"We need to get these clothes off. Only then can I fully assess the wounds and take care of them," she said, barely keeping her voice from shaking. She had no idea just what she was doing – he really needed to be at St. Mungo's. Not here. She had never taken any courses in healing and was going off a rudimentary knowledge that she had gleaned from books in her father's library. But it was all they had at the moment, so she needed to at least try.

Tonks nodded as they went to work, pulling off his bloody clothes. Someone else had brought in bandages and a basin of warm water as they got to work trying to stem the blood until Shacklebolt returned with the supplies.

"Hold on, Remus," Aurora whispered. "Don't die on me…"

Somewhere while they were working on him, Remus passed out. Aurora pushed all feelings aside as she quickly and methodically did everything that she could to heal the wounds and make him more comfortable. Once she had finished, they moved him up to his old room where he could rest better. She stood just inside the doorway, watching as his slept.

"He'll be okay," Tonks said softly, reaching up to touch her shoulder. Aurora jumped slightly and turned away.

"This is my fault," she replied dully. "I… I pushed him away and he got hurt. It's my fault."

"This isn't your fault," Tonks said gently. "Remus knew what he was getting into when he left-"

"Yes, but if it hadn't been for me, he wouldn't have left at all," Aurora said harshly, walking down the hallway. Tonks sighed and shook her head.

"What if he wakes up?" she called after Aurora.

"I left all the necessary potions on the side table. Mrs. Clark knows what to administer," Aurora said without stopping or looking back at her. She made her way downstairs to the den, taking in the blood stains on the floor and sofa. Pulling her wand from her pocket she set about to using every cleaning spell that she could to clean up the mess.

"Aurora, dear, I would have taken care of this," she heard Mrs. Clark say. She stopped for a moment, turning to look at the cook as she stood in the entryway in her nightdress and robe, a few cleaning solutions in her arms.

"It's no matter. Thought it should be done before the stains set in," Aurora replied, turning back to the sofa and looking down at the largest blood stain on the sofa that was being a bit too stubborn. She waved her wand again, only managing for a bit of it to come out. She continued to do the spell over and over again, becoming more frustrated until finally she was shouting the spell at the top of her lungs.

"Aurora… let me handle this," Mrs. Clark said firmly, grasping her arm. Aurora turned to look at her, her eyes wide as she breathed heavily. "You should clean up and get some rest." Aurora swallowed and nodded, walking out of the den as though she was in a trance.

She slowly made her way to her room, not looking at the shut door of Remus' room as she passed. Once inside, she shut the door firmly behind her. Now finally alone, she looked down at her nightgown and robe, stained with his blood. She knew that she should wash up but found she couldn't do much of anything in that moment as her knees gave out underneath her and she fell to the ground.

Hot tears of shame coursed down her cheeks. This was her fault. He could have been killed and it was all because she hadn't been strong enough to handle her feelings for him. Because she was so lost in the past that she couldn't let go and consider the future. All he wanted was a future with her - one that he was willing to work towards at whatever pace she would allow. And she had pushed him away and into danger. Not to mention, hadn't she always encouraged him to find happiness? To not let his condition get in the way of that? He must think her a horrible person right about now. She couldn't help but think that she was.

How many more lives would she endanger?

Struggling to get her tears under control, Aurora managed to stand, walking over to her bathroom as she pulled her robe and nightgown off. She knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, but at the least she could try and wash the blood off.

Days passed and Remus was healing up, though Aurora refused to see him, too ashamed to face him. Mrs. Clark gave her hushed updates and Aurora told her which potions and salves she should administer while in the safety of the greenhouse as she worked on making more. More often than not, Tonks was in with him, likely trying to cheer him up. While part of Aurora had felt a twinge of jealousy, she knew she had no right.

It was better if they made amends. Remus would be much happier with Tonks; Aurora was still sure of this. She came with far less baggage and hadn't pushed him into a dangerous situation because of her selfishness.

She took to spending her time with Ryan in the nursery or in the greenhouse, tending to her plants and potions, leaving word that she was to be left alone unless Shacklebolt had any updates on Evan or any of the other missions they needed her help with. In light of her current mood, they had refrained from asking her to take part in any of them, but often came by seeking her advice on things. And there weren't many updates on Evan or mentions of attempts to go back to Malfoy Manor.

It was likely he had moved on anyway. He didn't tend to stay in one place that long so far. Why should he stay in Malfoy Manor especially now that he probably knew she had been there? She found herself focusing on that, the moment when she would finally face him and end him once and for all. It was the only solace she had outside her plants and Ryan. It helped a little, but not much. Soon enough worry about Ellie or Harry would sneak in. Or her guilt over Remus.

One day while she was in the greenhouse, Mrs. Clark walked in, announcing her arrival. Aurora was tending to the roses and stopped, looking up at her expectantly.

"I've just finished more pain potion. Should be over on the shelf," Aurora said, watching the older woman as she bustled over to where she worked on potions. "How… how is he?"

"Dare say he'll be good as new in no time," Mrs. Clark said as she grabbed the bottle and turned to look back at Aurora. "In large part thanks to your potions."

"That's good to hear," Aurora replied as she returned to the roses.

"If I may speak candidly, mistress," Mrs. Clark started.

"Please, Mrs. Clark. I've told you many times now, it's just Aurora," Aurora said, not looking up from the flowers.

"He asks for you… he wants to see you," Mrs. Clark said. Aurora paused and looked up at her. "I think it would do both of you some good to speak." Aurora sighed and returned to pruning.

"I'm not so sure I deserve to see him," she said glumly. The old cook walked over to her.

"It's obvious that something happened. Aurora, you should speak to him. Work things out. I believe that you can," Mrs. Clark continued. Aurora looked up at her.

"Just what makes you think that?" she asked softly. The old woman smiled.

"Because he looks at you the way my Mr. Clark used to look at me. And I've seen the way that you've looked at him. I know that I didn't get to see you with Mr. Black, and I know how much you loved him. But… he's gone. And if he's the man that I think he was, then... I think he'd want you to be happy," she said. Aurora looked back down at the roses.

"I'm not sure that… that we would make each other happy. So far all I've done is make things worse," she replied.

"Oh, that was the grievin', I suspect. I know how that goes. And unfortunately, it never really goes away. But… love doesn't come 'round so often, Aurora. You should grasp at it and never let it go when it does," Mrs. Clark said gently. Aurora looked up at her. "I could see it in your eyes that night… the way you fought to keep him alive. Go to him. Tell him how you feel."

"What if I'm not sure… about how I feel?" Aurora whispered. "What if I can't say it…" Mrs. Clark smiled and walked over, patting her cheek.

"The words'll come to you when the time is right," she said. She then turned and walked out of the greenhouse. Aurora sighed and walked over to the table, sitting down. How did she feel? What would she say?

First of all, she would apologize. For pushing him away. Then… then… she wasn't so sure. Though one thought was clear in her mind. She couldn't lose him. And not just because she didn't want to lose someone else.

She couldn't lose Remus.

Aurora wasn't sure how long she had sat in the greenhouse. Mrs. Clark and Tonks were looking after Remus and the baby, allowing her time to herself. Even without saying anything, they could sense that she needed the time to reflect. She was grateful for it, but even she knew that she couldn't sit in the greenhouse forever, avoiding everything.

Eventually she would have to venture out.

"Rora…"

She sat up in the chair and turned to the French doors, seeing Remus there, leaning against the doorframe.

"You should be in bed," she said, standing and quickly making her way over to him, inspecting his wounds.

"I'm fine. I don't think a little walk downstairs is going to kill me," he said, a sad smile on his face. Aurora swallowed and looked up, finally meeting his eyes.

"I thought I was going to lose you," she whispered.

"I'm in your capable hands. Takes a bit more than this to do me in," he said.

"But it's my fault you were in harm's way to begin with," she said. "This is my fault." Remus reached out and gently touched her cheek.

"No, it's not. I wanted to go away. Needed to," he said. Aurora took a step back from him, turning and walking back towards the table. "Do not blame this on yourself."

"But if I-"

"Don't, Rora. I won't let you blame yourself for this," he said firmly. She stood at the table, unable to forgive herself. "I should be well enough… I can leave in a few days." Aurora stopped and turned to face him, her eyes wide in shock.

"You're not going back, are you?" she asked. "You can't go back to the werewolves. Not after this."

"There's something else the Order wants me to do," he said. "I'll leave once I'm better, that is… unless you want me to stay…"

Silence stretched between the two as Aurora's mind whirled. She didn't want him to go, but how did she tell him that without opening Pandora's box? What if telling him to stay pushed things in a direction she wasn't ready for?

But what if leaving led to his death?

Aurora took a shuddery breath, meeting his eyes.

"Don't," she choked out. "Don't leave. Stay here."

Remus smiled softly and started across the room towards her, but Aurora was much quicker, meeting him after he had only taken a few steps, wrapping her arms around him.

"Please, don't leave," she said, her voice muffled as she buried her face in his shirt. "I… I don't know if I'm… I can't stand not having you here. Having you out there where you could die or be in danger." Remus stroked her hair as he allowed her to cry a few moments. "I thought you were going to leave forever and… Remus, I can't…" She looked up at him, her blue eyes much brighter from the tears. She couldn't quite make her words work, but he could see what she was trying to say in her eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere, Rora," he said softly. "I'll stay right here… with you."

"Good," she breathed. "With everything out of my control… Ellie and Harry… Evan… I just need to know that one more person I care about is safe."

"Don't worry about me," he replied. "I'm here. I'm safe. With you." Aurora nodded and held tightly to him again.

Yes, she still wasn't sure what this was or where it would go, but at least he was here. Safe. With her.

More in the Aurora-Remus saga. I know it's dramatic and drawn out and all, but I couldn't see them just immediately taking up with each other and being happy. There's a war going on and Sirius hasn't been dead that long. Not to mention the fact that Remus is his best friend. Lots of complications, hence a complicated relationship…

Thanks for reading and following!