From W. Y. Traveller: Roasting

"Watson! The door!"

We barreled through the hallway just in time to find the roof collapsing in on itself, the floor above at last succumbing to the blaze. Shielding the man over my shoulder as much as I could, I pushed my way through the wooden double doors and out into the foyer. I knew not to breathe the smoke looking at the ceiling, but my lungs forced a cough. We had to get out of there.

"The door is still barred, Holmes!" I yelled over the crackling timbers. "Which way?"

He swore and looked around. "Hobson meant to cook them alive if they escaped the reception or not." I think he spotted the drawing room the same time as I did. We hurried the bride and groom across the burning lobby.

"Georgian windows!" Holmes yelled. I took the lead. The poor stunned groom and I were soon flying out in a spray of broken glass. We hit the ornate bushes in a rush. I was coughing but uninjured, and the impact seemed to rouse the newlywed. He was coming to as I dragged him out of the way. Holmes' wiry frame and the slighter bride crushed the foliage next. Together we hurried from the house as quickly as we were able.

"Agatha- is she alright?" Her harried husband asked me.

I turned to help answer his question, only to find the lady in question planting an enthusiastic kiss on Holmes' cheek. My poor friend looked as if he would rather run anywhere- even into the fire- than be there. But he would no more drop a lady than any gentleman, and set her down as quickly as was safe. Her husband threw back his head and laughed when she came to repeat the procedure on me.

"Dear Mister Holmes, Doctor Watson-" said she, "I cannot thank you enough! To think, I had discouraged my brother against consulting you! How very sorry we should have been if he listened!"

"Too true." Her husband chimed in. "I hadn't thought your devil of a former suitor would so have it out for us. You earned more than a kiss for pulling our hides from the fire!"

"Suffice to say-" Holmes straightened up, coughed, and tactfully put me between himself and the grateful couple. "-he will bother you no more. The back gardens are locked, and the police have the grounds surrounded. I am glad he at least scared away the guests before setting off his infernal device."

At this moment, one of the guests could be seen returning in a hurry. Agatha's brother rushed up to meet us, followed by several members of the fire brigade.

"Aggie! David! We had thought you lost! Oh, Mister Holmes how can we ever-"

It seemed Holmes had little trust for the brother not to match his sister's temperament. He shifted closer and behind me as to block off any advancement.

"I'm quite satisfied that a violent if uninventive criminal has been captured at last. Please, don't let us further delay the celebration and the honeymoon. We wish you every happiness."

With that, we made the speediest exit from a crime scene I think we have ever achieved.

"What, Holmes?" I asked as he practically pushed me forth to part the seas, "Finished after only a light roasting?"

"You do not observe, Watson. I am well done!" He glanced over his shoulder to ensure we weren't followed. "With all of it! I doubt I shall ever take a case with a wedding at the center again. If only our firebug Harold Dawes has wanted to commit arson at funerals, or..."

"Don't you dare suggest christenings."

Holmes scoffed. "Really Watson! One hardly plans vengeance on an infant."

I shook my head and let him lead me past the onlookers and towards what could only be Scotland Yard's representatives. We had a story to tell, and I could guess which details would be 'trivial' enough to exclude from this narrative.