I wrote this Sunday night. Why are football games played this late? I live with family who insist on watching the whole thing. By the way, Gwen is not me. I never had any interest in broadcast journalism. Frankly I chose to major in Com, because I couldn't stand the thought of analyzing Jane Eyre and Shakespeare for four years.
Chapter Twenty-Two:
Dear Spencer,
When I first started covering your story, I fell for the heroic agent. When you saved yourself three years later, I fell for the story. When I met you, I fell for you. I think have fallen in love with you Spencer Reid.
I don't expect you to feel the same way. You're recovering from a traumatic event and have enough to process without a profession of love. I know you think you don't know how to love since you've only known pain throughout most of your captivity, but I think you do. I think you know how to feel love Spencer, because no one forgets how to love.
I have thought a lot about a future for us. I want to go back to my first love: writing. I want to go underground and write my memoires. I want to ghost write. I have achieved everything I have wanted as an evening news anchor. I'm ready to sleep in and enjoy life. A life that might include you.
It's okay to be afraid. I am, as I don't want to hurt you more than you already have been. This is the real deal Spencer. I can take rejection if you're not ready. If you want to wait, I'll also wait. Falling in love is scary, but worth the risk.
I don't expect an answer right away. Take your time. Talk to people. It's going to be alright. I have faith.
Gwen
Reid finished reading the letter and passed it to Ormes and Juno. They read it together and smiles slowly appeared on their faces.
"I suspected it," Juno said.
"So, did I," Ormes said
"What do I do?" he asked.
"What is your heart telling you?" Juno asked.
"I can't hear it over my brain rattling out the fact that this is the first woman to show interest in me. That I am a recovering rape and torture survivor after three years in captivity. That the last time I felt love was with a man. I am scared."
"Dr. Reid," Juno said. "Can I hold your hand?"
Reid offered it to her.
"You are a remarkable man," she said. "Any man or woman would be lucky to have you as a romantic partner. You may feel as though your trauma is what defines you, but one day it won't. I think, Gwen sees past the trauma. She likes you as a brave man who has fought to achieve so many goals. You are truly special."
"And Gwen isn't the only one interested," Ormes said. "From what I have heard in group therapy and after hours, a couple women like you, but you're a little oblivious."
"This reminds me of the time a bunch of women audited my class at Quantico," he said. "My looks made me popular."
He sighed.
"What do I do?" he asked again.
"Let that brain rest, talk to your coworkers, and take the time Gwen told you to take," Ormes said.
"Is that all I can do?"
"For now, yes," Juno said.
"What do you two think?"
"It's up to you," Ormes said.
"Our lips are sealed," Juno said with a hint of a smile Ormes shared.
Reid never felt more confused.
…
"Out with it," Garcia said.
"I've never seen you look like you're bursting to talk like this," Prentiss said.
"Gwen Calvin and I have been trading letters," Reid said. "She just said she's falling in love with me. She doesn't care how damaged I think I might be and is willing to sacrifice her career so I don't have to live in the spotlight."
"Oh my god," Garcia said slowly.
Prentiss laughed.
"I suspected it when she interviewed me last month. She really cares about you Reid."
"What do I do?" Reid asked.
"What do your therapists think?" Prentiss asked.
"That it's up to me."
Garcia wiped tears away.
"Our genius has found love!"
"Are there any cases you need help with?" Reid asked.
"No, and don't change the subject," Prentiss said. "This about your future."
"I don't know if I can feel love," he said. "I like her, but I'm not sure I love her."
"Like is a start," Garcia said.
"I never expected to find love while here," he said.
"Reid, has anyone told you how extraordinary you are?" Prentiss asked.
"My therapists," he said.
"Listen to them and listen to us. Any women would be lucky to have you. You may think your recent trauma is holding you back from feeling love, but it doesn't have to. I think you can defy the odds as you have your whole life."
"I don't know what to do," he moaned.
"You'll figure it out eventually," Garcia said.
"I don't doubt it for a second," Prentiss said.
Reid sighed. He still wasn't certain.
…
Iris threw a basketball hard at his chest.
"What is wrong with you?" she asked.
"Let's see, physical and mental scars and I still have crippling flashbacks that make me want to strip naked and hide."
"But those are going to go away," Iris said. "Gwen Calvin isn't."
Reid dribbled the ball, aimed, and missed.
"You suck at basketball and relationships," she said.
"I was in a hole for three years!" he said. "What do you expect!?"
Iris picked up the ball.
"A woman f**king likes you Spencer. Go for it!"
"Are you jealous?" he asked.
"Hell no," she said. "I've been getting my romantic fix here."
"What happens when I leave?" he asked. "What kind of relationship will I have?"
"Love isn't a damn chess game," she said. "Stop thinking five moves ahead and live in the moment."
"At the moment I'm scared out of my mind!" he said.
Iris made another perfect free throw.
"Love is a dozen crazy emotions rolled into one. Focus on one of pieces. The piece that matters. Do you like her?"
"Yes!" he said as he chased after the ball.
"Then what's stopping you from the next step?"
"Everything we've discussed!" he said and threw the ball from half court.
It flew through the net.
"I know what you're capable of Spencer," Iris said. "Stupidity, compassion, and yes, love. Chase after the last one."
She took the ball and threw another perfect layout shot.
"It isn't going to be easy, but nothing worth having doesn't involve a little effort. Are you ready to try?"
Reid took a deep breath and grabbed the ball.
"Yes, I think I am."
"Took you long enough," she said.
Reid aimed, and threw the ball. It went in the hoop.
"If your game on the court can improve, so can your game off the court," she said.
"What am I going to do, when I leave and you're not with me?" he asked.
"You'll figure it out," she said. "I'm not going anywhere just yet."
"I might count this as the second time you saved my life," he said.
"It's a good thing, I'm not keeping score then," she said.
Reid smiled and they continued to play with gusto.
…
"Dr. Reid, this is stunning," Jetta said.
He painted Calvin. Her blond hair with streaks of red in it. He painted her luscious lips. The spark in her gray eyes. The outfit she was wearing was a blue dress with flecks of gold in it.
"Do you mind if I send it to someone?" he asked.
"Not at all," she said with a smile.
He carefully moved the easel around and painted on the back in red:
Will you attend a live-streamed wedding with me?
Author's Note:
My team won. Now I can't sleep from the rush of excitement because I love my damn team as much as I hate how hard it is for them to win.