Helloooo! It's been a while, but I needed time to do some planning and get this chapter just right.

Also...I'm working on a new story! It'll be an Attack on Titan story with a civilian OC. I spent much of the last few weeks writing the first few chapters (one of which is the length of TWO typical TUTN chapters...), and once I have a bit more down on paper, I'll start posting it. Be sure to follow me as an author to hear about it!

Thank you to my Kiwi Guest - I hope all is well over there. Stuff here in the states is...well, let's not get into that, shall we? And thank you to WhateverSaysI! I hope you enjoy this installment, even if you had to wait a while for me to finish it :)

Ch 23: Did I Know Him?

It was a glorious autumn day. The trees of Konoha were painted in yellow and scarlet; the air was cool but not cold yet, still warm in the sun. Along the cliff that overlooked the mighty Naka River, grass and shrubs took on similar warm hues, making the entire world seem washed in gold.

It was, to Kaiya, the perfect sort of day - not least of all because she spent it with Itachi. They'd trained a little together, but spent most of their afternoon wandering the surrounding forest. Now they relaxed near the cliff's edge, watching the leaves drift into the river. Laying her head on Itachi's shoulder, Kaiya decided that she wanted every day to include moments like this - just the two of them and the beauty of the world.

"Ne…do you ever think about the future?" she asked in a soft voice, studying their entwined fingers. "About what you want to do with your life?"

Itachi looked off into the distance for a moment. "Sometimes."

Kaiya sighed. She'd gotten used to his habit of thinking before answering only to give a single-word response, but she wasn't about to let him get away with it. "Hopes? Dreams?"

"What are yours?"

"Uh-uh-uh!" Kaiya wagged a finger at him. "I know what you're doing, you know."

"What's that?" he asked innocently, but there was a hint of a teasing smile on his lips.

"You-" She poked him. "-are deflecting. Answering a question with a question."

"Am I?"

"You just did it again!"

She went to poke him again, but he caught her hand. His eyes twinkled with mirth as she mock-battled him to get the appendage back. Kaiya lost her balance and fell back onto the grass laughing; Itachi let go of her hand only to entwine their fingers as he leaned over her.

Kaiya's laughter melted with her bones as their eyes met. Her tongue darted out to lick her lips; he was close enough that his long bangs tickled her cheek. Drawn like a magnet, she leaned up to close the distance - but he pulled back.

"You haven't answered yet," he whispered.

Kaiya raised a brow. "You mean my own question? Pot, meet kettle." She fell back with a giggle. "So is this an interrogation trick they teach you in Anbu?"

The mirth left his face, replaced in an instant by a blank but serious mask. "You aren't supposed to know about that."

"Aaaand that confirms it. Come on, it's not that big a secret. There've been rumors for, like, a few years now." Kaiya tightened her grasp on his hand, tugging on it to keep him from moving away. "Hey - it's not like I'd tell anyone. You know I wouldn't. It just wasn't that hard to figure out. Please…don't be mad."

"I'm not mad," he said, not meeting her eyes.

Kaiya frowned, a flurry of uncertainty invading her stomach. "Itachi…you can talk to me, you know?"

For a moment, that careful facade he used with the rest of the world cracked, letting her see the worry lines around his eyes, the uncertainty in his gaze.

"I can't," he said. "Not about that."

"I don't mean, like, mission details," Kaiya back-pedaled, afraid he'd misunderstood. "I know you can't talk about that stuff. I mean…if there's something bothering you. I'm here for you, you know?"

Itachi stared down into her eyes with something like sadness in his own. Although his face was just inches from hers, he seemed a million miles away. He pushed himself up into a sitting position and gazed out over the cliff. "My dream…I want a world without war, and everyone I love to be safe and happy."

Kaiya smiled, a rush of tingling warmth spreading from her head to her toes at this little admission, this small intimacy. Sliding back up, she nudged him with her shoulder. "Was that so hard?"

Itachi turned to her, his lips quirked into a smile. "No."

"Good."

This time, he didn't pull away when she went to kiss him.

Kakashi leaned against his door after returning home from the hospital. He'd gone to check on Naruto again, but the blond was still unconscious. It worried him - Naruto was normally such a fast healer, so being out of it for this long was strange. What had Sasuke done to him? Why did Sasuke do any this?

"You have no idea what it's like," the boy had told him that afternoon a week ago - hours before he left Konoha for good. "To lose everyone who ever mattered, and to be powerless to do anything about it!"

Kakashi had just smiled ruefully and told the teen that he was actually pretty wrong about that. Should he have told Sasuke the full story? Would it have made a difference? After all, it was his story, not Sasuke's; there was no guarantee that the kid would have taken the lessons of Kakashi's life to heart. He wished there was a jutsu that would let him just transfer everything he'd learned to him, something that could have saved his student the pain of having to learn through his own mistakes.

One of those lessons was to not dwell on 'what-ifs.' When given a chance, such thoughts became a never-ending, all-consuming abyss. Kakashi pushed away from his door, reminding himself of that bit of wisdom. There was no way to go back in time and stop Sasuke from going to Orochimaru; all he could do now was move forward.

Taking down his mask, Kakashi sighed and splashed some cold water on his face. He'd promised Kaiya that they'd find the wayward Uchiha, that they'd get him back. Why did he make that promise? The chances of finding Sasuke now that he was with Orochimaru, let alone taking him back home…it wasn't like Konoha had the resources to spare, and Orochimaru was notoriously slippery. He feared that he'd made an empty vow to someone who deserved much more than that.

She'd been so devastated when she got back. He couldn't forget the lost look on her face, or the way she'd leaned into him for support…how she'd felt in his arms…the way she smelled of autumn leaves and wild ginger, sweet and spicy and inviting…

Kakashi splashed another handful of cold water to his suddenly warm face. That was decidedly not appropriate. Sure, she was a beautiful young woman…and smart…and funny and passionate…but he'd known her as a baby! There should be no attraction whatsoever for someone he'd seen being bottle-fed. There was no attraction. Who said he was attracted to anyone?

A frantic knock at the door pulled Kakashi from his ruminations, for which he was grateful. He quickly dried his face and pulled the mask back up before answering - only to see the very redhead he'd been thinking about now standing on his doorstep. She was disheveled, breathing fast, drenched from the rainstorm outside, clearly distraught.

"Kaiya? What-"

She shoved something into his view - a photo? He took it as she stuttered out half-questions…and he realized he knew exactly who the people in it were.

"Did I know him before the Kyuubi attack? Did I know Uchiha Itachi?!"

For a second, Kakashi stood speechless. If it weren't for the photographic evidence literally in front of his nose, he wouldn't have had an immediate answer. The picture, though, jogged memories he'd forgotten he had - memories he'd buried for being too painful to dwell on. He'd spent months tailing a pregnant Kushina and the tiny red-haired child he still couldn't reconcile with the young woman in front of him. Back then, Kaiya rarely left her mother's side. The Uchiha household was a frequent destination, and Uchiha Mikoto was a regular visitor to their own.

Of course Kaiya and Itachi had known each other.

This was not a conversation to be had in a hallway. Kakashi ushered Kaiya inside before answering. "You did - his mother and yours were friends."

Kaiya paced his studio, shoes still on, dripping rainwater on the floor. "So - what? We…played together or something?"

"I guess…" Why did she look ready to have a panic attack? Sure, he'd be pretty disturbed if it turned out a childhood playmate was now a psychopathic murderer, but that was years ago.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'd forgotten about it," Kakashi admitted, handing her the photo as she passed him. "If I hadn't, I'd have told you."

Kaiya slowed, looking like she was going to be sick. "So he knew…the whole time, he never said…"

Kakashi frowned. The whole time - when? "What do you mean?"

Kaiya's fair-skinned face was white as a sheet; her breathing labored, her sapphire eyes staring straight ahead. Now that she'd stopped moving, Kakashi realized she was shivering - whether from being soaked in a November rainstorm or from whatever was going on inside her head, he didn't know or care. He quickly grabbed a clean towel and wrapped it around her shoulders, sat her down on his bed, and pulled his comforter around her for good measure.

"Kaiya," he said softly, feeling awkward and clueless as he crouched in front of her. "What's going on? So you happened to know Itachi before the Kyuubi attack, that was years ago-"

"It's not that," Kaiya interrupted, shaking her head and huddling into the comforter. "I knew him…after."

After? What did she - oh… "You mean…after the Kyuubi attack…"

She nodded quickly, and Kakashi finally started to understand. Itachi, as a child, must have lied to her by omission. Still, there could be an explanation to that. "Sandaime and the Council told anyone who might recognize you not to approach you. At least, that's what Sandaime told me when I saw you alive. He said it was for your-" He cut himself off, realizing how ridiculous that probably sounded to her. The last time he'd tried to pass off the lies as 'for her own good,' she'd made it clear that she found that to be utter bullshit.

Not that he could blame her.

"So," he backtracked, trying to offer a logical explanation to her, "maybe Itachi knew that he wasn't supposed to interact with you."

To his surprise, Kaiya began to laugh, humorless and wry. "Well, then he sucked at following orders."

"He approached you?"

"Oh, no," she said, waving a hand dismissively. "I just walked right up to him at school and introduced myself, and he acted like we never met before. Gods, how many times…"

So it hadn't been a one-time thing, Kakashi realized with mounting dread. It hadn't just been a case of them running into each other and Itachi pretending not to know her. No, this was a repeated occurrence. "How long did this…?"

Kaiya folded in on herself, pulling the blanket tighter around her body. To Kakashi's dismay, she looked close to tears. "I didn't know…I mean, I know he was lying about a lot of things, that's pretty obvious, but this…" Suddenly, she straightened, dropping the blanket and towel and standing up, looking anywhere but at him. "Sorry, I…this isn't…"

Something clicked in his mind then. Kakashi caught her as she tried to go past him. "The day Itachi returned…you went after him alone, didn't you? Guy told me."

Still not looking at him, she slowly nodded.

"Why?" She didn't answer, but by now Kakashi had a theory - one that made his stomach churn in sympathy. "You…weren't just friends with him the whole time."

A small shake of her head was the only response he got, but it was enough.

"You were in love with him."

Her eyes filled with tears; she squeezed them shut, pushing the first drops down her cheeks as she gave the tiniest of nods.

He was almost afraid to ask. "Did he…"

Kaiya took a deep, steadying breath. "Did he lead me on? Yeah. He did. He made me believe that he…" Her voice cracked. "It was stupid. I was stupid. Just a stupid, stupid little girl…"

She headed for his door as though trying to escape. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have dragged you into this."

"Kaiya, wait." Kakashi caught her by the arm again. "I realize I'm not exactly the pinnacle of trust, but I'm trying to understand-"

"That's not it," she said, her voice so small and un-Kaiya-like that his heart nearly broke. "I just…I need to go, please let me go…"

He dropped his hand from her arm. Then he watched as Kaiya, hugging her arms around her middle as though she'd fall apart otherwise, left his apartment. When the door clicked closed, Kakashi stared at it, torn. Should he go after her, make sure she wasn't alone right now? Or respect her wishes, even if it didn't feel quite right? She was in no immediate danger within the village, he assured himself. She was an adult, capable of taking care of herself.

For about half a minute, he almost bought that excuse. Then, with a curse, he hurried from his apartment to go after her.

Kaiya ran without a destination in mind. Focusing on her footfalls in the near-freezing rain helped a little to distract her, but no place she went felt right. She only knew where she couldn't be in that moment: not in her apartment, alone with that album; not in Kakashi's, fighting to hold herself together. Nowhere with people, yet isolation wouldn't work either. She gave up trying to decide on where to go and simply ran.

Why did she go to Kakashi?! Stupid question - she just had to know if that photo meant what she thought it did. But now he knew. Her biggest mistake, her greatest shame, and she'd almost fallen apart in front of him over it! There was a reason that her teammates were the only ones besides the Council who knew about her and Itachi; Sandaime had wanted to spare her any public judgment over that relationship. It wasn't that she thought Kakashi would tell anyone else, but…kamis, what must he think of her now?

Kaiya stopped running in favor of pacing with her head in her hands. She couldn't block it out any longer: She knew Itachi before the Kyuubi attack. Before her memory loss. Before everything, she'd known him - he'd known her. How many times had she confided in him that she'd give anything for a glimpse at her mother and father? For some glimmer of recognizance, or for someone from her old life to walk up and say 'I know who you are?'

And the whole time - the whole time! - he'd been right there, listening to her, sharing stories of Sasuke when she told ones about Naruto…making her skin tingle from his light touches…awakening a heat and electricity in her that if he'd asked, she'd have gladly explored more with him…

Now, she just felt sick.

A gentle touch to her shoulder made Kaiya spin around in alarm. She froze with a kunai already looped in her fingers when she realized it was just Kakashi.

"Oh," she breathed, letting the kunai drop back into her leg holster.

"Sorry for following you," Kakashi said. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Was she okay? No. She wasn't even going to try and bluff through that one. "Why?"

"Well…you seemed upset, to say the least…"

Kaiya shook her head. "No - I mean…why are you…here?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," he repeated slowly.

"Why?"

Kakashi seemed puzzled. "Because you worried me."

Kaiya blinked hard, her nose scrunching up. This was…not what she expected. Shouldn't he be disgusted with her? Accuse her of having some part in what Itachi did? Call her stupid, naive, gullible, any combination of the things she'd called herself over the years?

But he wasn't doing any of that. Against all expectation, this man was here because despite what he now knew, he was worried about her.

She almost wanted to laugh, or maybe cry - especially when she finally looked around and realized where they were. The forest loomed behind them, stopping at the edge of a short field that led to a cliff's edge. The rain had petered out to a bare drizzle, allowing the roar of the swollen Naka River to rise from the valley below.

Of course she'd end up here.

"We used to meet here," she said, gazing out at the cliff's edge. Kakashi already knew the worst of it; might as well explain why he had to follow her in the freezing rain to this place. "It was…I guess our secret spot. I mean, a couple people knew about it - his cousin, Shisui, definitely did, and Sasuke found it at one point, but it mostly felt like ours, you know?"

Kakashi didn't answer. No questions, no judgment - just his solid, quiet presence.

"It wasn't just romantic between us, you know," she continued, needing to justify this. "We were friends for long before that. We trained together a bit, but mostly, we just talked. Sometimes about jutsu or philosophy, sometimes about Naruto and Sasuke - especially after they started the Academy…sometimes about nothing. I knew his birthday, his favorite food and tea, his hopes for the future…"

Her lips pressed together in a thin line. What a stupid little girl she'd been…She wrapped her frozen arms tighter around her torso and kicked at the mud. "I thought I knew him. Kamis, no wonder it felt like we'd known each other forever - we actually did! Or he did. I didn't know a damn thing, did I? But I'd have done anything for him, anything he asked - that's how deep in it I was."

Yet he never asked anything of her. Not really. Not outright. She'd been the one to befriend him in the Academy. She'd been the one to badger him about training together. She'd been the one to kiss him first.

"Was it just me?" she wondered aloud. "If I never went up to him that day at the Academy, would he have just…left me alone? Kamis, did he even know I was alive until then? Did he care?"

It was almost easier to imagine that he didn't, that he'd have ignored her completely if it were up to him. Then, at least, she could rest easy knowing that he'd always been a cold, unfeeling bastard.

"You weren't the only one deceived by him," Kakashi said softly. "I don't think anyone in this village knew the true Uchiha Itachi until that night."

That night…with the countless dead bodies, the blood spattered on windows and walls, the eerie quiet of a place devoid of life. She'd seen his work up close, seen the brutal efficiency of it, all before knowing that it was her Itachi that had done it. And yet…

"Kakashi…" She spoke almost in a trance, voicing the question as it rose to her consciousness. "Have you ever cried after killing people?"

Why was she asking him this? It wasn't like Kakashi and Itachi were anything alike, after all, and it was an incredibly invasive thing to ask. But right then, it felt like the most important question in the world.

"Once," he finally answered after a long moment of silence. "I've killed many people…never enjoyed it, and I didn't abhor it either; it was just part of the mission. I've felt sad over some, remorseful, even…but I never really knew or cared about them. Except one."

Kaiya didn't even have to ask what that one time was; she already knew. Cause of death: Chidori to the heart.

"Nohara Rin," she whispered. "I, um, found the report in my father's file…she sacrificed herself?"

"I didn't want to do it." No pleading, no attempt to sound like an excuse - just a simple statement of fact. Then his tone changed, becoming more bitter, more disgusted. "Even if just a year prior, I probably would have done so without question."

"Sounds like you were a different person back then," Kaiya commented, secretly glad to shift the topic away from herself and relieved that he just went along with it.

"I was. Back then, I wouldn't have looked for other options; if there was a threat to the village, it was my duty to eliminate it, no matter the cost."

"What changed?"

Kakashi looked up to the sky, where the clouds had just begun to part and reveal the moon and stars. "Uchiha Obito. 'Those who break the rules are scum, but those who turn their back on their comrades are worse than scum.' That's a direct quote from him. He helped me remember how to be human, and he made me promise that I'd never forget what was truly important, beyond missions and orders. It's a promise I've struggled with, but I try to keep it."

To go by his own admission, Kakashi had gone from cold, unfeeling executor to the much more complex and compassionate person he was now…all by the time he'd reached Naruto's age. Or, if she thought of it another way, by the time he'd been Itachi's age when Itachi killed his clan.

Picking at her jacket sleeve, Kaiya asked, "Do you think that…the opposite could happen? That someone could start out as kind and caring but become…"

Kakashi turned a probing look on her. "Maybe if you said what's really on your mind, I could be of more help."

Her fingers froze with a thread caught between them. Her pulse pounded in her ears, so loud she was sure he could hear it too. "It's nothing," she said, cursing at how obvious the lie was.

"You know, every time I've said those two words, it's never been entirely true," he said wistfully. "It's up to you whether you want to be open with me or not. I can't and won't force anything from you. I'm just trying to understand."

Kaiya swallowed, her tongue suddenly thick and dry in her mouth. Her fingers had gone numb, though whether from the cold or her own rising anxiety, she couldn't tell. Suddenly she was all too aware of her own breathing, almost to distraction.

"If I may share a theory," Kakashi ventured, sounding strangely far away to her ears. "I know you were the one who found Sasuke the night of the massacre. All told, you were actually the first on the scene - which means you went to the Uchiha compound for a reason that had nothing to do with the massacre. I'm guessing now it had to do with Itachi."

"Yeah," she croaked. Did he guess? Should she just tell him? Why was it so difficult to work her tongue?

"But you found Sasuke instead."

Kaiya's eyes locked onto the churning waters of the Naka River, forcing herself to breathe. Why did she open her mouth and ask him these things? Kakashi was no idiot, of course he'd figure out that there was more to her story than she'd ever told anyone.

A dull ache started behind her eyes, making it hard to think about anything, but she tried to focus. Kakashi already knew about her relationship with Itachi, and so far, he hadn't been the least bit judgmental. He wasn't like the Elders; he was just trying to get a fuller picture.

But she'd never told anyone, not even Hikaru and Gorou. No one knew that she…

Say nothing.

Kaiya realized a second too late that she hadn't answered Kakashi's question - and few reactions made better tells than hesitation. What was his question? Oh - something about finding Sasuke…"I, um - yeah…"

Why not just say it? She should say it. Just get it out there-

Say nothing.

The throbbing intensified, making her eyes pinch shut. She saw it so clearly in her head: she was on the streets of the Uchiha compound, heart pounding in her ears, desperate to find any sign of life amidst the blood-spattered walls and torn paper windows…

"Kaiya?"

…and as the moon came out from behind the clouds, she saw-

"Kaiya!"

She gasped and opened her eyes to see Kakashi immediately in front of her, gripping her shoulders. "What-?"

"You weren't responsive," he told her, brows knitted in concern. "It looked like a panic attack."

Panic attack? That didn't seem right. Her mind was fuzzy for a second as she tried to remember what could have brought one on. "Oh…we were talking…about the massacre…"

"Yes," Kakashi said, his warm hands giving her an anchor to reality that she sorely needed just now. "Are you all right?"

No, she wanted to say. She wanted to tell him; she'd never been so desperate to say something before, and why was her head pounding?

"I'm…fine," her mouth said. No, no she wasn't! Panic welled in her chest, yet her body was oddly relaxed. She should be shaking, hyperventilating - but it was like her body wasn't her own! What was going on?!

"You're not fine," Kakashi insisted. "What happened just now?"

Kaiya slowly shook her head, trying to retrace their conversation - anything to move her attention away from this terrifying dichotomy, or to explain what it was or why it was happening. They were talking about the massacre, about what she was doing there…she was going to tell Kakashi something she hadn't told anyone-

Tell no one.

"No," she moaned, hissing through her teeth as the pain in her head went from throbbing to stabbing. "Why…"

Why hadn't she told anyone before? It was like it had never even occurred to her to do so. Even when asked about that night, the natural answer had always been 'no,' even though she knew it was a lie…

No, she thought, squeezing her eyes shut against the sharp resistance in her head. This was not natural, this was not normal!

"Kakashi," she whimpered, "I think…something's wrong…"

Focus, she ordered herself. Focus on what to say! It was right there, she just had to open her mouth and - she nearly doubled over as a wave of nausea hit her. Through the pain, she felt a pair of hands prop her up and take hold of her head.

"Look at me," Kakashi commanded from somewhere in the ether. "Kaiya. I need you to open your eyes."

Kaiya grabbed hold of his arms to anchor herself, clinging to his voice as she tried to obey. But her eyelids were leaden - how was she supposed to -

"Kaiya. Look at me."

The simple command triggered something in her, some instinct that had been drilled into her from the Academy. Receive an order. Obey the order.

She opened her eyes.

Immediately, her gaze was drawn to a scarlet orb glowing in the darkness, the triple tomoe spinning hypnotically around its center…she gladly gave herself over to it, relieved to let something else take the reigns if it meant she didn't have to keep fighting her own mind and body. Little by little, the pain retreated to the background of her consciousness…

"Say nothing," a voice urged, deep and intense and desperate. "Tell no one…"

A flash of scarlet - then -

"Kai!"

Kaiya blinked and gasped. Everything was…quiet. There was no pounding in her head, no nausea; the world was again clear and cold and real, and the only sounds were those of the forest and river. She looked up to see Kakashi pulling his hitai-ate over his left eye. "What…?"

"Genjutsu," he stated. "A powerful coercive type, the sort used on sleeper agents. So subtle that you wouldn't find it unless you knew what to look for."

What did he mean? He'd put a genjutsu on her? Or…"Wait…I was…"

"Under a genjutsu," Kakashi repeated. "I just dismantled it, so you might feel a bit foggy for a moment."

'Foggy' was an understatement. It was like wading through sludge as she waited for her mind to catch up. Genjutsu…sleeper agent…

Then realization sliced through the fog. Her heart stopped. Her mind, her body…something - someone had been controlling her?!

"If we can figure out when and who, we should be able to answer why," Kakashi said. "The fact that it was triggered by talking about the massacre narrows it down significantly. Perhaps someone didn't want you remembering exactly what happened."

His calm voice kept her panic at bay. Yes. Treat it like a puzzle, a problem with a solution. There was an answer to this, they just had to work through it. Kaiya closed her eyes, breathed through her nose, tried to impart order on the chaotic cluster of memory and sensation in her head. Did someone mess with her memories? The idea made her blood boil, but…

"I remember what happened perfectly," she concluded. "Nothing's missing, nothing's new…I just didn't - I couldn't say…"

Kakashi's brow pinched. "So someone was afraid of you talking. What haven't you been able to say?"

This was it. Her breath hitched; would that horrible pain come back again? No - Kakashi said it was a genjutsu, and he'd taken care of that. Now…she just had to say it.

Inhale.

"I saw…Itachi. Just before I found Sasuke."

Exhale.

Wait - that was it? It was so easy, so smooth that Kaiya almost didn't realize she said anything at all.

"I lied," she continued, testing the words on her tongue. "Whenever asked...I lied to everyone about it. The Elders, Sandaime, my teammates...you. I lied, and I don't know why, but it seemed so crucial that I didn't tell anyone about it..."

"It was the jutsu making you think that," Kakashi assured her. "It wasn't your fault - but we need to figure out who, and why. Are you missing any time from that night? Even a moment would've been enough to do it."

Her brow furrowed as she searched her memory. Missing time? So much had happened that night, much of it she tried not to think about. But…there was one moment she remembered that, upon further inspection, was utterly confusing. She saw Itachi, then scarlet, and then -

Kaiya brought a hand to her mouth, suddenly feeling sick. "Oh god…he did this…"

Understanding dawned in Kakashi's visible eye. "You mean…"

"Itachi," she supplied, her stomach churning. Part of her wasn't surprised in the slightest; Itachi was a genjutsu master. Even among the Uchiha, when they'd been alive, he was considered exceptional. Of course he'd been the one to put this on her.

Knowing that didn't stop her skin from crawling. She'd trusted him, would've done anything he asked, and instead, he coerced her into silence. He'd used his Sharingan to invade her mind and implant a command that she had no choice but to obey.

"Oh god," Kaiya breathed again, a horrifying realization coming to her. "What if…was that the first time? Or did he…kamis, what else did he do…?"

"Breathe," Kakashi commanded, his hands once again on her shoulders. "Slowly. Don't start hyperventilating. That's it…now, if this was something that happened before, you'd have experienced other instances of 'lost time.' Was that ever an issue?"

Kaiya clung to his voice, to the rationality he offered, and tried to think. "No. I don't think so."

"Then that was probably the only time," he assured her. "Trust me - repeated instances of coercive genjutsu leaves a mark in your chakra system. I'd have seen it. Actually, that Hyuga therapist you were seeing would've seen it, too."

That's right - Hyuga Takashi examined her chakra system several times back when she was injured. "But why didn't he see this genjutsu?"

"It really only shows up when it's active. As long as you weren't trying to talk about the massacre, it wasn't active. Of course, this brings us to a related question: Why did Itachi not wanting you saying that you saw him?"

"You think I have any idea how Uchiha Itachi thinks?" Kaiya snapped, rage overtaking her hysteria. "That fucking bastard played with my head!"

She was going to explode, she was sure of it. The very idea that he'd been in her head like that - that he made her think it was her choice…Wasn't it enough that he'd denied her identity to her face over and over again? That he'd denied her own memories? No, he just had to have this too, didn't he? He just had to take her teacher and then - and then! - he took away a piece of her goddamn free will!

She clawed at her scalp, but the pain wasn't release enough. Pacing wasn't enough either, and there was nowhere she could run that would let her escape this storm within. So she screamed, a feral, shrill sound that ripped through her lungs and throat, carrying as much of the churning tempest out of her body as possible. Then she screamed again, and again until her voice gave out. Only then did she feel a little calmer, a little emptier.

Kaiya fell to her knees as she caught her breath, her hands dropping from her head. She wanted to think, to process and organize everything in neat little boxes…but her mind ground to a halt. She was stuck, too tired to do more than stare at a water droplet clinging to a blade of grass. Dragging her hands over her face, she was puzzled to find that her fingers came away wet. Odd…the rain had long since stopped. What was…? Oh. She was crying.

With a faint squish of footfalls in the mud, Kakashi crouched beside her. He laid a hesitant hand on her shoulder, a welcome bit of contact. "Better?"

Was she? Kaiya gave him a slow shrug and stared at her damp fingers. Something about her tears tickled her subconscious, like they were important somehow.

"We need to figure out why he did this to you," Kakashi reminded her gently. "Why don't you walk me through what happened that night?"

She almost didn't want to. Telling the full story would mean having to live through it again - the terror, the helplessness…but then again, the real horror hadn't begun until after that night. Closing her eyes, Kaiya took a deep breath and, for the first time, told the complete truth of what happened that night five years ago.

It started with a puzzle. Yuuma gave it to her just the day before - a new coded seal to unravel, something to practice her growing skills on. This one was significantly more challenging than any he'd given her before though, and Kaiya was ready to pull out her own hair trying to solve the damn thing. Where did he even get this, anyway?! She'd never seen such obtuse, blocky patterns before. She was tempted to say it was a hexagram, but those needed six rows of patterns, and this only had five. Normally she cracked Yuuma's codes in a few hours, tops, but she'd been at it for five consecutive hours - more, if she counted the previous evening before Itachi had showed up at her window.

Her mind turned to the dark-haired enigma as soon as he surfaced in her thoughts. Last night…he'd been so strange. It wasn't anything she could put a finger on, but he'd just seemed so…tired. Defeated, even. And how he said he just 'couldn't go back to the compound'…it had broken her heart to hear him sound so emptied. He'd been gone when she awoke, and the rest of her day had been filled with the usual schedule: solo training, team training (though without Yuuma, who oddly never showed up), research…and now this code again.

Maybe she could get two birds with one stone. Or three, depending on how she counted them. She obviously needed a break (as Yuuma always said, 'Stare at a problem too long…'), she wanted to check up on Itachi, and - though she was loathe to admit it - she could use some help with this thing. With a resigned sigh, Kaiya rolled up the scroll containing the problematic seal and threw her jacket on over her pajamas.

There was no sign of Itachi at their usual spot, though that had been a long shot. Chewing her lip, Kaiya considered her options: she could just wait until tomorrow, catch him in the main hub of the village. Assuming he didn't have a mission, he'd probably walk his little brother to or from school. Or…

It wasn't ideal. Itachi had long ago asked her not to go to his clan's compound, though she'd sneaked in a couple of times in the past. Not since Shisui's death, though. It was like a deathly pall had fallen over the region since then; she was pretty sure no non-Uchiha went to that compound these days if they could help it. The police, all of them Uchiha, acted on a hair-trigger lately, and if the icy reception she and Yuuma had received at Shisui's funeral was any indication, the Uchiha did not appreciate outsiders right now.

But it was the only place she could think of where Itachi would be at this hour, if he wasn't away from the village.

It took her less than a minute to decide.

Approaching the compound, Kaiya immediately felt that something was…off. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end; goosebumps lined her arms under her jacket. Suddenly she regretted leaving her apartment without her weapons packs - but she tried to mentally laugh it off. She was just being paranoid. She was nervous about going into the Uchiha Compound, that was it.

But as she crept along the shingled rooftops, her unease only grew. It was so dark…darker than the rest of the village at night. No lanterns, no streetlights…

No lit windows.

Her heart fluttered in her chest. It was difficult to see to the street below; the moon was shrouded overhead. When a gap in the clouds let a small bit of light through, though, Kaiya's heart almost stopped altogether.

The house just across from her - one of its paper windows was torn open…and an arm hung limply through the gash.

Her pulse pounded faster. She crept down from the roof, a silent, hooded shadow - or at least, she tried to be. Sliding along the outer walls, she rounded a corner and nearly cried out.

A head lay at her feet, eyes rolled up toward her, mouth hanging open as if in a scream. The eyes…they were scarlet, almost glowing in the dark even in death, with an identical pair of black tomoe in each iris…

Kaiya clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle her gasp and took an involuntary step back. She couldn't think, could barely breathe. She wrenched her eyes up from the head - and immediately almost wished she hadn't.

Three bodies lay in the street before her, strewn out as though they'd been cut down while running. Two had been struck from behind; they each sported a neat, bloody gash right at the back of the neck. Cut off the connection between brain and spine: their deaths would have been quick, instantaneous. The third wasn't so lucky. He'd been stabbed in the stomach, then eviscerated. It would have been an agonizing death…had he not then been decapitated.

Each of them wore the Uchiha crest on their backs.

What was going on here? She was staring at three bodies - three Uchiha bodies, in the Uchiha Compound! No…not just these three. There was the arm through the window, too…and why was it so dark? How had no one noticed this already?!

Kaiya breathed through her hand and tried not to panic. Just keep breathing - just keep calm - just think! Someone had killed these people - attacked them. Forcing herself to crouch near one of the bodies, she extended a shaking hand over the corpse.

Warm.

Whoever had done this…they could still be nearby.

Okay, she thought, backing herself against a nearby wall. Think - think! She was a Shinobi, a soldier, so she had to think! She was a Chunin, alone, with an enemy on the loose. Priority one: get out and get help.

But what about Itachi? What about his brother, his parents? How many people were…

She got the answer to the last question with every cautious step she took as she made her way further into the compound. More bodies, more blood that smeared the windows and streets…and it was too quiet. Someone would've made a noise, and this was the Uchiha district, for crying out loud! They were the police force; they'd have fought back!

They were the police force…so taking them out first would be part of an invasion strategy. Oh kamis, they were under attack - she had to find Itachi, had to get help, had to get to Naruto before it was too late!

Kaiya started running, still keeping to the shadows but more desperate to find anyone alive than to keep herself hidden. She didn't dare call out, didn't check inside houses - she had to stay quiet, stay out in the open. But there were bodies everywhere, and still-wet blood that threatened to make her slip, and blinding fear that no matter where she looked, she would only find death.

And then she saw it - a solitary figure standing in the street. Kaiya froze. Someone was alive! Or was it the enemy? What should she do?!

Indecision and panic rooted her to the spot. A sliver of moonlight highlighted the silhouette in a way that she recognized that build, that posture. Was it…? Oh kamis, please, let it be him…

The person turned around just as the clouds shifted overhead, allowing the moon to fully illuminate the street. Kaiya was too shocked, too frightened and hopeful to move; whoever it was would see her, but she had to know -

It was him! Relief flooded her system when she saw his face. Itachi was here, he was all right! Kaiya wasted no time flickering to him, her hands seeking to confirm that he really was here, that he was unharmed.

"Thank god," she breathed, gripping his shoulders, pressing her palms to his chest, feeling the warmth of his very much alive body for herself. "I was so scared that you-" She couldn't even bring herself to say it. Not after passing so many other bodies on the way here. "But you're okay? What's going on? What about your family?"

Itachi didn't answer, just stared down at her with wide eyes set in a drawn face. Something on his cheeks caught a bit of moonlight. Was he…?

"Oh god," Kaiya gasped. "Itachi - your family - is Sasuke-"

Then she noticed other things: The haphazard way he'd wrapped his hitai-ate around his head. The sword strapped to his back. The Anbu vest…and the blood spattered across it.

"We have to - to warn them," she stuttered, her mind racing to find an explanation. "The enemy…did you see them? You fought them, didn't you? Are they still…?"

Her eyes rose back up to his face - but instead of the warm, long-lashed obsidian orbs she'd come to love, she met the striking scarlet of the Sharingan. They pierced into her skull, freezing her in place even as they pulled her in. She couldn't move. She couldn't look away. She was caught, a rabbit in the sight of a hawk.

Only her lips moved, and through them, her voice came out, tiny and faint. "Itachi…?"

The tomoe began to spin, until the only world she knew was in those eyes, along with all she was and all she ever would be…and then she heard it, his velvety voice echoing in her head…

Say nothing. Tell no one.

The next thing Kaiya knew, she was on the ground. Electric, nauseating pain shot through her left wrist; she must have landed on it when she…fell? Groaning and cradling the appendage, Kaiya rolled to her side and found herself next to a small, vulnerable, familiar figure.

"Sasuke!" Kaiya scrambled over to the child, the pain all but forgotten as she frantically checked for a pulse. "Please, please please please…"

There it was - faint, but he had a pulse! He was alive!

Kaiya looked up to find Itachi. "We need to get him to-"

But he was gone. She saw no trace of him, no sign of where he went.

She was alone.

Kaiya gritted her teeth against the throbbing pain in her wrist. She was alone, but in what might as well be enemy territory. She still didn't know what was happening, if any more enemies would come - and Sasuke needed help. She had to get him to safety before anything else. Then she could alert someone - Anbu, the Hokage himself, anyone - about what was happening.

And Itachi…he'd find her. He probably sensed some danger, or went to track down the perpetrators. That had to be it. She'd take Sasuke to the hospital, and Itachi would find them as soon as he could.

"It's okay," Kaiya murmured to Sasuke's unconscious form as she scooped him up as best she could. "You'll be okay…everything's going to be okay."

"I waited for him after that," Kaiya finished, staring out over her knees into the cold, quiet night. "Even after the Elders questioned me and told me he was the one who…I waited. I didn't believe he did it. It had to be a lie, or a trick, or he was being set up. But he didn't come back, and then they told us - my team and me - that Yuuma-sensei…" She trailed off, not wanting to scrape open this wound any further than she already had. "I just…stopped questioning it. I couldn't anymore."

"I can understand that," Kakashi said softly from his place next to her. "After Rin…I gave up on a lot of things. The friends I still had, any thought of my own future…myself, I suppose. Joining Anbu may not have been the best option for my mental health at the time, but it gave me purpose, a reason to still be alive, an outlet for all the emotions I tried to deny. Not that I'd recommend it as a solution," he added with a side glance to her.

"Wasn't planning on it." Kaiya rested her forehead on her knees, folding into herself as though shutting out the world would help bring order. "Nothing makes sense. How Itachi was…Yuuma-sensei…none of it."

"I remember hearing about Yoshida Yuuma," Kakashi said softly next to her. "I remember because it was so…out-of-place. We all chalked it up to 'wrong place, wrong time,' but…"

"But then why didn't he just kill me, too?" She lifted her head long enough to wipe her eyes. "I asked him myself, that day at the inn. I still don't get it. If he killed Yuuma-sensei just for being there, why didn't he do the same to me? And why leave only Sasuke alive? It doesn't make sense!"

She could have continued ranting about every inconsistency she'd observed in Itachi's behavior and every new question this night alone gave her. She could have gone on for hours…but exhaustion washed over her like a wave, the undertow pulling away her ability to string together any coherent argument.

A tired, mirthless smile poked at her lips. "You ever try to light a fire on damp wood? 'Cuz that's how I'm feeling right about now. But I can't let this go. Not again. Not until I actually have something."

"Get some rest," Kakashi advised. "This…it's a lot to take in. And to speak from some experience…there's a high chance that even if you examine every possible angle and account for every potential variable, you still won't completely understand what happened, or why. Sometimes…that's just how it is."

Kaiya's mouth set into a stubborn line. "Not sure I accept that."

"Then you and Naruto truly are related," he mused, the warmth of a smile in his voice.

She shared the smile for a few seconds before something else occurred to her. "Kamis, what am I going to tell Naruto about all of this? I mean…there are photos of Uchiha Itachi and me as babies! What do you say about that?"

"Get some sleep," Kakashi repeated. "You don't have to solve everything right this minute."

Kaiya nodded and rested her head on her knees, turning so that she was looking at him. "What are your thoughts on all of this madness?"

Kakashi stared off into the night, giving her a perfect view of his moonlit profile. "I'm not sure yet. I'll have to get back to you."

Maybe it was the exhaustion talking, making her mind go to all sorts of weird places - but did he always look like a figure carved from marble? Even with the mask hugging his face, the moon's silver beams caught the contours of his nose and cheeks just right, making him seem like a breathing piece of art…but with fluffy hair…

Kaiya blinked and shot upright, rubbing her eyes. "Wow. Okay. I think you're right about the whole sleep thing."

"Hm. Cold out here, too."

"Yeah…" Her cheeks warmed with a bit of shame for being the reason he was out in the cold at all - but she couldn't feel too bad about it. Instead, she just felt…grateful. "Kakashi…thank you. For being here, for listening, for not judging me…for your honesty. And for the genjutsu thing, too," she added almost as an afterthought. "I didn't realize how much I needed to talk about all of this until I couldn't, you know?"

"It's a lot to take in," Kakashi said again, rising and slipping his hands into his pockets. "I know how lonely it can be to carry these burdens. I couldn't help Sasuke with his…but if you'll let me, I'd like to help with yours."

His pure sincerity made her stomach flutter, warming her against the night's chill. She believed him - that he understood something of what she was going through, that he genuinely cared…and maybe, not just because she happened to be his mentor's kid.

They walked back to the village together in a comfortable silence. Overhead, the clouds slowly dispersed, opening windows to the starry sky beyond. Kaiya breathed deep of the night air, crisp and cleansed thanks to the earlier rainstorm. She felt similarly clear, at least for the moment. Tomorrow would doubtless bring more questions, more puzzles and problems - but as Kakashi said, she didn't have to face them right this minute. There was a sort of freedom in that, in being able to let go by her own volition, even if only for a short while.

Before she knew it, they were on her landing. "You walked me home," she joked, turning a teasing smile on her silver-haired companion. She felt oddly giddy all of a sudden. "Gonna tuck me in, too?"

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you're definitely tired."

"What? But I want a bedtime story!"

That earned her a playful shove into her apartment when she got her door open. Kakashi remained out on the landing. "Good night, Kaiya."

This time, her smile was sincere. "Good night, Kakashi. And thank you again."

Closing her door with a soft click, Kaiya leaned against the wood for a moment, listening for him to leave. Of course she didn't hear anything - no decent ninja would make a sound on a solid floor, and Kakashi was far above 'decent.'

She sighed. This had to be exhaustion making her this…ridiculously school-girlish. Maybe it was even some sort of defense mechanism against the gravity of everything she'd learned tonight. Hikaru would definitely have a diagnosis for it.

"Sleep," she muttered to herself. "For Sage's sake, go to sleep."

She peeled off her damp clothes and showered first, the steamy water helping to chase away the night's chill. Afterward, gathering her clothes for the laundry hamper, something fell out of her jacket.

It was the photograph - a tad wrinkled and somewhat damp to the touch, but otherwise just as clear as when she first saw it.

Kaiya picked it up. All of the shock and dread and…whatever else had coursed through her before was nowhere to be felt. She was empty, too tired to react to the pair of soft black eyes and round cheeks scrunched into a small smile. He looked down at his baby brother with such affection - and was it her imagination, or was he leaning against her as much as she was him? Either way, this was hardly the face of a future mass murderer.

"Who are you, really?" she asked the photo, her thumb running across the crease that now marred Itachi's face.

She didn't have the answer, and she didn't have to find it right now. The question would remain in the morning. Kaiya carefully replaced the photograph in the album, then dug through a drawer under her bed for a lap-sized box. She hadn't opened it in years, but lock seals didn't rust; it opened easily to her touch. Inside were two items: a lightweight yukata of indigo with gold flowers, complete with a complimentary obi folded over top; and the last seal puzzle Yuuma had given her, the one she could never bring herself to finish solving. Gently laying the photo album inside, Kaiya re-locked the box and set it back into the drawer. It wouldn't stay untouched for years like the other items; it just didn't feel right to have it out in the open.

Kaiya took the peach-toned scarf from her parents' box and held it up to her face again. Closing her eyes, she imagined what it might have smelled like thirteen years ago, how it would have felt to have her mother or father wrap it around her, their smiles warming her as much as the soft wool.

She couldn't imagine it - but she held the scarf close anyway as she climbed into bed and drifted off to sleep.

The rainstorm moved north along the continent, eventually freezing into sleet that pattered the roof of a small, desolate hut. It was dark inside; the owners had died long ago, their belongings claimed either by relatives or other passersby. Even before the rain came, the place smelled of damp rot. But the roof was sound and the inside was dry enough, which was really all one could ask for from a shelter.

Tonight, the hut had occupants, though they lit no fire and disturbed as little as possible. When they disembarked in the coming morning, they'd have to leave no trace of their presence behind; easier to avoid making such traces in the first place. One of the squatters didn't stay inside for long; his boundless energy demanded to be spent, so he soon joined the storm. The other was glad for the solitude, short though it would live. His companion was respectful enough of boundaries, but it was rare that he got to be truly alone anymore.

So when Itachi jolted awake sometime in the middle of the night, and he realized that Kisame was still outside, he had to wonder why. It was a strange sensation, like a pounding in his skull that was insistent but not painful. More like an alert. Something in the world had changed, and he was feeling it in his cells.

He closed his eyes to better analyze the odd sensation. Where did it originate from? What had triggered it? It wasn't a dream - he'd been sleeping too lightly to dream. He could hear Kisame outside, engaged in whatever solitary training exercise he'd begun while Itachi rested. Sometimes Itachi envied his partner's vivacity; it reminded him of someone else, too, someone he had to actively keep from his thoughts lest the memory of their last encounter drive him to distraction.

Kaiya…

His eyes snapped open. That was it. He knew what had changed.

"Up already?" greeted the Shark Nin as he returned from his training.

"I rested enough," Itachi replied, sitting up.

"Well, seems you're just in time," said Kisame. "We got a call coming in from the Leader. Sounds like our old friend Orochimaru made another move on your former village - particularly your little brother."

Itachi's eyes narrowed, but he kept his tone of voice at 'mild interest.' "Is that so?"

"Seems it." Kisame tossed him a toothy grin. "Guess our old snake pal's got a thing for those eyes, hm?"

"I fail to see how this affects what we're doing."

Kisame whistled. "Cold as ever…not even a bit of curiosity for baby bro's fate, I guess?"

"As you said, Orochimaru has expressed his interest in the Uchiha clan's power before. He couldn't have me, so he set his sights on the only living Uchiha left. It's not that difficult to follow."

"Well," Kisame sighed, "guess that means you don't care that our favorite puppet master and his new partner are heading to Konoha to pick up Orochimaru's trail. Dealing with Snake-san is one of their assignments, after all."

"That is inadvisable," Itachi said, rising and donning his cloak. "While Sasori-san is skilled in subterfuge, everything we know about Deidara indicates that he is not. Now that Konoha once again has a Hokage, their security will be significantly increased, and neither of Sasori-san nor Deidara is aware of the village's protocols."

"But you are," Kisame grinned, his beady eyes glittering in excitement. "You're already planning a way in, aren't you?"

"Sasori and Deidara will fail. That is a known quantity. When they do, we will be able to provide whatever intel they could not obtain." Itachi paused in buttoning his cloak. "It may take some time - and it will be smoother for only one of us to go. "

Kisame's grin only widened. "Oh? Looking for a little alone time with the ex, perhaps?"

He didn't bother to dignify that with an answer - and in that way, he didn't have to lie.

Gotta say, Kaiya was all over the place this chapter...because frankly, dealing with yet another HUGE bombshell (a few, in fact) would probably make anyone go a little silly in order to stay sane. Could she ever forgive Itachi after this?

Anyway, now she knows more about her connection with Itachi...and at the same time, she knows less. Why did he put that genjutsu on her? Why didn't he ever tell her that they knew each other before she lost her memories?

And now Kakashi also knows this part of Kaiya's past...and we know her experience the night of the massacre. Gotta say, timing is everything.

NEXT TIME: We end the first major arc of To Unravel the Night by bidding some characters a temporary farewell...Kaiya makes her decision about the training trip with Jiraiya and Naruto...oh, and Naruto is finally awake! Plus other stuff.

Remember to leave a comment with your reactions and predictions (or to just say "hi!"), find me on Tumblr/DeviantArt/Kofi, and as always...

Stay Tuned!