I'm back! I'm so sorry it took so long – I moved cities and started a new job so I've been very flat out. Currently lying on a beach in Fiji so I've got some time to write again. This is a short chapter but I wanted to get something to you. The next chapter is well under works and should be up soon.

Happy holidays everyone – my present to you :)

RPOV

"Please, Roza!" he begged, pulling my hands into his own.

"I'm sorry," I said, the tears threatening to spill over as I stared into his eyes.

"Please..." he choked out, his voice breaking as I felt the world slow around me.

I looked at the man I loved, down on his knees and begging and felt my world shatter. I thought I was doing what was right. I never thought he'd take it this badly.

You're kidding yourself, Rose. It's why you could never bring yourself to tell him.

I'm such a coward.

I looked down, unable to stand looking at the desperation I'd caused in the man I loved. I shook my head slowly and felt the ever-growing lump lodge itself in my throat. I couldn't speak. I couldn't look at him. All I could do was sit there and hate myself for what I'd done. All I could do was let the worry and dread wash over.

Would this be the thing that sends him back to the darkness? Would he ever forgive me? Would I ever forgive myself?

I worried for my husband. But I also worried for his future. I worried for our world's future. And most importantly, I worried for our future children. Could I bring them into this world, knowing that it was doomed? Knowing that it was only a matter of time and that in the blink of an eye they could be taken from me... that they could be turned into something soulless and evil. Could I really send them to train at the Academies? Could I watch as they trained to risk their lives to protect Moroi who thought so little of them that they wouldn't lift a finger to save them? I loved Lissa and Christian and Adrian and so many of my friends, but the fact is that many of the Moroi aren't worthy of our protection. The attitudes need to change – we need to change them. And offensive magic is the only way I can think of to make that happen.

The sound of a door slamming shut behind me jolted me back to reality. I stood quickly, the chair clattering behind me in my haste as I rushed towards the door where Dimitri had just exited.

"Dimitri!" I cried, as I frantically ran through the doors after him. I whipped my head around in search of him but he was nowhere to be found.

"Shit!" I cursed under my breath, as I took off at a jog in a random direction.

Way to go Rose. I thought to myself dryly as I desperately searched for my husband. That had gone so much worse than I ever could have imagined. The look on Dimitri's face had nearly broken me in two and a weight the size of an elephant has found purchase on my chest. I took a deep breath through my nose, trying to stop the steadily growing feeling of panic as relentless waves of it came crashing over me.

Where is he?

"Rose!"

I stopped dead in my tracks at the shrill sound of my name being carried through the wind.

I turned to see Lissa charging towards me, flanked by the Queen's Guard and a concerned looking Christian. I watched, feeling a tinge of fear for the first time at the sight of my best friend as she barreled towards me, her long dress flying behind her. Lehner met my gaze for a long moment with an unreadable expression before his eyes flitted away.

"What the hell was that?" Lissa hissed as she pulled me into a nearby alleyway. The guards formed a protective barrier in front of us, shielding us from the prying eyes of the outside world.

I sighed. "I'll answer all your questions, but I need to speak to Dimitri first. Please. I need to explain."

"You have a lot of explaining to do," she scolded, her grip on my arm never loosening. "What the hell were you thinking? Are you on some sort of suicide mission?"

I winced as her long manicured nails bit into the flesh of my upper arm.

"No!" I shook my head frantically as I met her gaze. "You have to understand, I'm doing this for all of you."

"Rose," Christian interrupted, stepping forward to meet my gaze with sad eyes as he placed an arm around Lissa. "All we all want is for you to be safe. You don't have to do this."

"I do..." I whispered, "I can't explain– "

I was interrupted when Adrian came barrelling through the guards, making a beeline directly towards me.

"Rose!" he bellowed, grabbing me by my shoulders. "I just ran into Dimitri - tell me this is a sick joke."

My heart fluttered at the mention of his name and some of the weight lifted off from my chest.

"You saw Dimitri?" I exclaimed, peering behind him.

"Yes!" he said, shaking his head and stepping into my line of vision. "The poor man is distraught. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I need to explain to Dimitri first," I pleaded. "Please let me see him."

"No." Adrian shook his head, his expression hard. "He needs time to process this. In the meantime, you can tell me what the hell was going through your head when you decided to do this."

I sighed, my shoulders sagging in defeat.

"Fine," I muttered. I stepped back, slumping my body against the wall of the alley behind me. "The idea had kind of been there for a while, always in the back of my mind and out of sight. After... everything that happened... I remembered something Sydney had said to me once. Suddenly I saw everything in a new light."

Adrian stood, his expression expectant as he waited for me to continue.

"It was during one of our long sessions with Sonya trying to find a vaccine for Strigoi with Spirit. Do you remember? We had been failing at separating it from the blood and making it stick to anything tangible. We were all sitting around, feeling very defeated about ever finding a cure when we began talking about the growing Strigoi population. Sydney had said..." I sighed; I didn't particularly want to throw Sydney under the bus here. It was entirely my own decision.

I watched in dry amusement as Sydney and Adrian simultaneously raised a brow at me, egging me to continue.

"She suggested that the Alchemist data pointed towards a complete Strigoi takeover within thirty years. She said that if we remained on the defensive as we have before... she said that it was only a matter of time."

"Damn it, Sydney!" Adrian cursed under his breath as Lissa lowered her head, leaning her body back against Christian.

"You know she's not wrong," I quietly urged. "Something has to change. Other than a miracle breakthrough with the vaccine, the offensive magic program is the best hope we have."

Lissa shook her head, her green eyes rimmed with tears.

"No," she choked, gripping my hand as I reached out to wipe her tears away.

"It doesn't have to happen like this, Rose." Christian urged, "There are other ways we can get the offensive magic program in."

I scoffed, shaking my head sadly. "Do you really believe that? How many years have you and Lissa been trying? Your points are valid, the program is great, but still... it never gets through. This could be our only shot. We have to take it. I have to take it."

There was a long moment of silence before a sob broke out of Lissa's chest. I squeezed her hand and reached out my other hand to grip Adrian's. I sucked in a breath when he snapped his hand back, his expression hard before he turned and stalked in the other direction.

Tears brimmed my eyes, threatening to spill over as I turned back to Lissa.

You're going to lose them. You're going to lose all the people you care about.

"Please understand," I begged, gripping Lissa's hands tightly and meeting Christian's eyes pleadingly. "I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm trying to save you. I'm trying to save us all."

Lissa shook her head, tears streaming down her lovely face.

"How can you expect any of us to be okay with this?" She whispered, her hands dropping from mine. "You've put me in a terrible position. You've made me choose between my duty and my best friend."

"I'm sorry," I choked, closing my eyes and wishing more than anything that I could go back to this morning, back to before... everything. "I'm only trying to do what's right."

Lissa gave a sad smile, reaching up to stroke my cheek.

"I know you are," she finally whispered before she turned around, dragging Christian with her.

I felt my heart shatter again as I watched my best friend walk away. As they retreated, Christian turned back towards me.

"Try the church," he mouthed.

I gave a grateful smile.

The church.

Thanks for all your comments on my last chapter, I appreciate each and every bit of feedback!

What's everyone thinking? I know a lot of people weren't happy with Rose – I agree, it was very cowardly. But in her heart she thinks she is doing what's best and she was just terrified of telling people. Everyone was VERY against Strigoi Rose which I wasn't expecting haha – I actually had to change my plans for the story a bit but don't worry, I won't do it.