Chapter 19
In a darkened room somewhere in the NeitherWorld, a meeting of the minds was taking place. Around a circular table, six very different people (if you could call them that) were seated. The first was a zombie, dressed in black cowboy leathers and a short black hat. He had a permanent sneer and squinty eyes, giving him the look of always glaring. He looked rather bored about something. The next was Little Miss Warden, sitting up in her seat, up straight, her lollipop set on the table in front of her. Beside her was a bat person with large glasses, wearing a white vest and gloves, dark gray shirt and pants, and black shoes. He was drumming his fingers on the table, a little dark cloud over his head to show his displeasure. Next to him was Scuzzo, leaning back in his seat with his clown shoes on the table. He was snickering at nothing, at least at first glance. What followed was a creature that was mostly a giant pair of lips, with a little blue lump topped with eyes behind it, as well as spindly arms and legs. He was building a house of cards on top of the table while he waited for the meeting to really start. And finally, sitting on a booster seat, was a tiny man dressed in the garb of a gangster. His eyes were sunken in and shadowed, and his hat was almost bigger than his head (the largest part of him). He looked around at the assembled ghosts and ghouls seated around the table. "I suppose you wonder why you were called here, fellow members of SNOTRAG...and Lipscum."
"Hey...I'm a member…" The mouth monster objected from behind his playing card hovel.
"One of our members has garnered some very interesting information. Miss Warden, you have the floor." The little gangster said, handing her a section of the wood floor they stood upon.
"Thank you, Mr Big." She replied, taking the floor from him. "I received an interesting proposal from somewhere in city hall." She started, pulling a folder from under the table. "They've gotten word of a mass crossing through into the NeitherWorld a short time ago."
"A mass crossing!? A bunch of livies in the NeitherWorld!? Sounds like fun." Scuzzo commented with a laugh.
"Save it, clown. You're in enough trouble as it stands." The doll like warden warned him. "Anyway, they've confirmed that two of the living ones who crossed through were Lydia Deetz and the boy possessed by Beetlebum, Lincoln Loud." She informed them, pulling two sheets of paper with their profiles on them.
"Ah yes. I heard about that." The ghoulish gunman said with a slight nod, finally looking somewhat interested. "You saying that polecat Beetlejuice is back in town?"
"I hope not!" The bat in the vest interjected. "I've been enjoying the peace! Not to mention the chance to be one of the most wanted in the NeitherWorld."
"I hear that, Bartholomew." Scuzzo said, pulling out his own wanted poster. "It's nice to be wanted."
"No, Jessie Germs." Little Miss Warden replied, ignoring Scuzzo and Bartholomew. "The fugitive is still in the living world as near as we know, and someone wants to make sure it stays that way."
"Sounds good to me." Mr Big commented with a smirk. "We have a good thing going with Beetlebum out of the way."
"So you're saying you don't know who's making the proposal you mentioned?" Jessie Germs asked, somewhat suspicious now.
"Unfortunately, no. Someone in City Hall wants Beetlejuice out of the way, but that could be anybody." The little warden said. "But does it really matter?" The group looked to one another for a moment, most of them just shrugging and a general answer of 'not really'. "I thought not. Anyway, given the information we know about the boy fused with the fugitive, we think it's safe to say, with this being a mass crossing, that he may have crossed with his family." She shifted the folder on the table along, turning from one to five. "I have a folder for each member…" She explained, passing them to everyone but Lipscum.
"Hey! I'm a member! A valued member!" Lipscum repeated angrily.
"Yeah, right…" Mr Big scoffed, opening the file.
"...I was the only one who got Beetlejuice to fall apart last time…" The mouth monster grumbled, looking pouty now.
"...he has a point." Scuzzo admitted, putting a dunce cap on his head. "Come here, old Scum. You can read over my shoulder." The ghost clown said, motioning him over. Each member of SNOTRAG opened the folder and sifted through the thick stack of papers.
"Whoa...big family." The tiny gangster commented, eyes wide, looking at the thirteen profiles on display.
"No kidding…" Lipscum said in awe.
"I met this one." The crazy clown stated, pointing to the profile on Luna. "Wouldn't mind going another round against her."
"Five teenagers, six little kids…" The phantom outlaw said, more to himself than the others.
"Now, I want you all to understand one thing." Miss Warden said sternly, getting their attention. "If this turns out to be true, we are NOT to hurt or, in my case, arrest any of them. Period!" She snapped, looking especially at Jessie and Scuzzo.
"Ah, you're no fun…" Scuzzo complained. It was his turn to pout now.
"This isn't about fun. We just need to convince them to stay away and keep Beetlejuice out of the NeitherWorld. If any of them are hurt or they call the fugitive here...we're on our own."
"Understood." Mr Big said with a nod. "Now, members of SNOTRAG, I suggest we split up. We can cover more ground that way. I'll take downtown." The mini gangster offered.
"And I'll cover uptown." Miss Warden stated.
"I'll head down to Beetlebum's RoadHouse...maybe head a few of them off at the pass." Jessie Germs growled.
"You guys are nuts. I know exactly where to go." Lipscum said, knocking the dunce cap off his head.
"Oh? And how exactly do you know where to go?" Miss Warden asked in a condescending manner.
"There are a bunch of teen girls, right?" He asked, to which the other members of the villainous organization nodded. "And where would be the prime place for teen girls to go? The mall!" The mostly mouth creature declared before he ran off.
"...You know, he has a point...again." Bartholomew admitted, gesturing to the direction he ran. "It's a rare day for Lipscum."
"Yeah. I think I'll join Lippy on this one...when he inevitably screws it up." Scuzzo said, pulling a unicycle out from nowhere and riding off.
"...I'll think of something." The typical cartoon villain said, flying off after them.
"...meeting dismissed, I guess…" An annoyed Mr Big said, banging the handle of his pistol like a gavel before the rest of the SNOTRAGs departed to enact their own plans.
Meanwhile, most of the Loud family was just enjoying the ride as the Doomie Bus zoomed along the highway. Luna and Lincoln were especially loving the feeling of the wind in their hair and faces. "Dudes, this is so cool!" The rock and roll sister cheered.
"I know. Makes me want to get a convertible when I can drive." Lincoln called out.
"I hear that!"
"This place is so beautiful...in a weird kind of way." Leni commented, looking out at the purplish sky.
"The NeitherWorld in a nutshell...mostly." Lydia said with a giggle. The white haired boy smiled at her as he put an arm around her, his hand on her shoulder. The two of them blushed lightly, smiling to one another. A couple minutes later, the double deck Doomie pulls to a stop right in front of the NeitherWold's number one shopping center. Lori had to admit that, at first glance, the Shocking Mall didn't seem like anything to worry about after all. Yeah, the sign had electricity arcing off it, but otherwise, it looked like any other mall back in the living world.
"All ashore who's going ashore!" The eldest sister called out as she corralled her younger sisters out of the bus, leaving only Linc and Lydia as the only passengers. This gave the ghostly roadster the chance to convert back to normal. Once Lori had done a head count to make sure everyone (minus Lynn, Lana, Luan and Lily) were present, she turned to the young couple. "Alright. You two have fun in the city. Just be careful." She told them, giving Lincoln a small hug.
"Don't worry, Lori. We'll be alright." Lincoln said, hugging her as well.
"I'm sure you will." She said. "We'll all meet back up for dinner, before we head back home. Luan and Beetlejuice should be done by then."
"Sounds good. See you all later." Lydia said, waving to the Loud sisters along with the one son before BJ's roadster drove off. The six young ladies waved back until Doomie was out of sight and they made their way to the entrance of the mall. Most of them moved with haste from under the sparking sign, while Leni strolling leisurely past it and Lisa paused for a moment to take a few notes on it. Fortunately, Lori pulled her into the building just as an arc nearly struck the toddler.
"Well, now that we're here, what should we do first?" Luna asked, looking around at all the stores in the multi level shopping complex. The ghoulish patrons of the mall gave them all some very strange looks as they walked through the atrium.
"I'm not sure." The oldest of the sisters commented, looking back at one of the ghosts who looked at her funny with an odd look of her own. "I guess we can just browse for a while and look into stores that look interesting, since we don't know what this mall has."
"I can give ya a couple recommendations." Ginger said as she skittered ahead of the human girls. "But first things first, the shoe store."
"Oh! I could use some new pumps!" Leni chirped.
"And I suppose it couldn't hurt to see what they have in child sized heels." Lola commented. "May give me an edge, having nice shoes no one else can get."
"Lead the way, Ginger." The oldest of the sisters said, the seven sisters following the tap dancing spider through the mall. As they walked, they passed by shops with very odd names: Gloomingdale, with everything in being depressing shades of blue and/or gray. There was even a rain cloud inside it. Bonestrom, which seemed to be the one stop store for skeletons. Just Claws, a nail salon for monsters and witches. Foot Locker, a store for the undead with missing feet.
"Now this is my kind of mall…" Lucy commented in wonder.
"It's so weird…" Lola whispered to her musically inclined older sister.
"I imagine we look mighty odd to them." She whispered back, only to hear a few old witches speak in hushed voices how adorable Lucy looked. "...well, most of us."
"Here we are!" Ginger declared as they stopped in front of a little business called Sole Source.
"We'll wait out here while you three get what you need in there." Lori told her two younger sisters and the pink spider as they entered the shoe establishment.
"Actually, I think I'm going to check that store out while we wait." The little goth said, pointing toward Lydia's Spooky Boutique.
"Dudes...that's Lydia's place." Luna said in surprise.
"I didn't think she really meant it was a real business." The oldest sister said, sounding amazed. Curious, she took Lucy over to check it out, leaving Luna to keep watch over Lisa.
"Ah. That's much better." Ginger said after dancing a few test steps in her new little tap shoes, a sharp clack sounding with each step. "I'll take them." She said to the devil like salesman hovering by her.
"Hmmm...I don't know…" Leni said as she looked down at the pair of shoes with air pumps attached being shown to her by the diabolic store employee before her. "It's not quite what I meant, and definitely not my color…"
"Ah. A more discerning customer. I should have known by your dress." He said, which made the dim blonde blush, quite flattered. "Well, perhaps one of your tastes would like a nice pair of go-go boots." He suggested, holding up a pair of deep blue shin high boots.
"Ooo! I like those!" She said, taking the boots in hand to look them over closer. "May I try them on?"
"But of course." He directed her over to a nearby bench to try the boots on, right when Lola gently tugged on his shirt.
"Excuse me, mister. Do you have anything in the way of children's heels?" The pageant participant asked, trying to look more adorable than usual.
"Right this way, young miss." The devilish man responded, gesturing toward a nearby window. "Just pick any two you like." The little blonde firecracker blinked before walking over to look in the window. Through the glass was a small group of child sized monster wrestlers, each one fighting one another in the dirtiest, most unfair manner possible. She just stared for a moment before looking away.
"I...don't think those will work for me...how about some flats?" She asked, somewhat nervously.
"Wrong cartoon for Flats, kid." He responded nonchalantly. Little Lola's mind seemed to crash for a moment, but she recovered quick enough, thinking she was would try one more time.
"...I almost hate to ask...but do you perhaps have any heels my size that aren't wrestlers?"
"Well, we do have a few itty bitty stiletto heels." He answered before he disappeared in a puff of fire. He returned seconds later carrying a box in his hand, making the short tempered short stack jump in shock. She looked into the box, seeing some very nice heels...with very sharp knives for heels. She looked at them with a contemplative expression.
"...teeeempting. But I don't think Mom and Dad would approve." She finally said. "So I think I'm good...for now…"
"Suit yourself, little miss." The demonic salesperson replied, leaving the box on the counter as Leni returned. "Why, doesn't that look grand on you?"
"And they're so comfy too. I'll take them." The second oldest sister declared, walking around in circles.
"Wonderful." The shoe shop clerk said, enchanting the register to ring up Leni's new boots. Oddly, she was still walking in place as she paid for her new footwear.
"Er...you know you don't need to keep walking, right Leni?" Her younger sister asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Actually, she does. She bought go go boots." Ginger spoke up.
"Which means the little lady ain't gonna stop moving till WE get tired! And you can't take us off either!" The boots suddenly said, in a crude, harsh voice. Hearing them speak seriously spooked the two Louds, but Leni was able to recover fairly quickly.
"Oh well." She said with a shrug and smile. "Shoes can be pretty disagreeable until you've broken them in, and we've got plenty of mall to cover."
Meanwhile, Lori and Lucy found themselves surrounded by what could only be described as a goth's paradise. Clothes, accessories, bags, even makeup, all with a gothic or macabre theme. Bat wings, spider webs, skulls, ghost, ravens: it was almost an overload for little Lucy. Lori, on the other hand, was intrigued, if a little weirded out. She respected the fact her little sister chose this lifestyle, but she didn't get it at all. That said, she saw this as an opportunity. The little witch to be had a birthday coming up and, though she wasn't hard to shop for, it was possibly the last time she'd be present for her birthday in a long time. She wanted her gift to her to be really spectacular. So while Lucy was looking through spooky jewelry, the oldest of the kids slipped away, looking through the dresses and gowns designed by Lydia. 'Hmmm. I wonder where all the employees are.' The seventeen year old lady thought to herself as she noticed that, while the store was being patronized, there wasn't a store associate to be seen. "Is...there anyone who can help me here?"
"Afraid not, young miss." An elderly vampire with very pale blue skin spoke up from behind her, making her squeal with fright. "Hehehe. Haven't lost the touch."
"...sorry, sir…" Lori apologized after her heart stopped racing and she turned to see the toothless old nosferatu standing there. "You just startled me…"
"Oh, don't you worry, little lady." He said, waving off her apology. "Anyway, there never were employees here. This place is run by Beetlejuice's magic."
"I see...I was kind of hoping to get some advice…" The phone enthusiast glanced around for a moment before whispering. "I'm looking for a birthday present for my little sister...I want to get her something really nice, but I'm kind of out of my element here."
"Hmmm. What's she like?" The old bloodsucker asked, stroking his wrinkled chin as he thought. Lori looked over to the little goth, who was trying a spider necklace on for size with a big smile. The vampire followed the human girl's gaze and smiled. "Aww. She reminds me of my own granddaughter. I think I know what she might like." He shuffled forward, sifting through the rack of dresses alongside Lori, who looked over at Lucy to make sure she was distracted. After a couple seconds, the undead geriatric found a blood red and black ballroom gown, with a bat wing collar. By Lori's eye, it looked like it would be a little big on her little sister, but in a year or two, she would grow right into it.
"That's perfect. All of her favorite colors." The oldest sister said with a big smile. "And she can wear it for the next couple years too. Thank you so much."
"You're welcome, young lady." The old vampire replied with a chuckle before he hobbled away. Lucy looked about done with the accessories, so she needed to move quick. She rushed to the unmanned register and hastily swiped her credit card. The moment she did, she realized that her card might not even work here. To her great surprise, however, it went through without issue, her purchase tucked away in a big shopping back as if by an invisible person. As soon as it was safely hidden away, Lucy came up to the counter with her spider necklace.
"Found something you liked?" The lover of the macabre inquired in a deadpan tone.
"Yep." Lori replied simply. "Looks like you did too. Just make sure you don't show it to Leni."
"Good idea." The eight year old said before she made her purchase, her money going into the overpacked register on it's own.
Out in the corridor, Luna was tuning her guitar and leisurely playing a few bars for something to do, while Lisa occasionally questioned some of the passersby about the NeitherWorld. For the most part, mall patrons gave the toddler a wide berth, thinking she was an annoying survey person. On the other hand, a few mall wanderers threw a few cents at Luna's feet, thinking she was playing for money. "Not really necessary, dudes, but much obliged." She called out to the most recent donator. It was at that point Leni, Lola and Ginger emerged from the Sole Source. followed closely by Lori and Lucy. "Whoa. That's timing."
"You're telling me." Lori said with a chuckle, moving over to her roommate to show her what she got, while Lucy showed her latest acquisition to Luna and Lisa.
"Lori, that's beautiful!" Leni chirped with wide, sparkly eyes, still walking in place.
"Thanks." She replied, looking down at her sister's unusual, forced locomotion. "Uh...why are you moving like that?"
"Go go boots." The kindly sister said simply.
"...of course." She responded, not wishing to pursue this inquiry any further.
"That's a nice piece there, Luce." The rock and roll sister said, smiling at her little sister.
"Indeed. It suits you quite well in addition." Lisa agreed. "It's quite realistic as well. You may want to be careful around Leni."
"Naturally." The raven haired young lady concurred. Just then, they heard a clap of thunder. Not that strange; the weather could have changed while they were browsing and shopping. But this sound came from inside the mall. The girls all looked in the direction of the sound and saw a thin, green skinned man with shaggy black hair emerging from Gloomingdale. He was a little taller than Lydia, and wore a black and dark gray suit. He was oddly handsome for a possibly dead man, and wore a little crown on his head. He was flanked by a pair of burly, hunchbacked guards, and followed by a storm cloud. He had a shopping bag in his hand and a frown on his face.
"...nothing like shopping at my favorite store to dim my mood." He said in a melancholy manner.
"Who's that guy?" Lola asked Ginger, rather intrigued by this regal looking downer.
"That's Prince Vince, ruler of this neck of the NeitherWorld." She explained, though she whispered. "He doesn't really do a lot, but he does have a lot of authority." She followed up in a normal voice. "Nice guy, though.A real good friend of Lydia and BJ's."
"Oh yeah. I remember Lydia bringing him up some time ago." Lucy commented. Hearing Lydia's name mentioned got the attention of the undead prince, turning his head toward the group of Louds and the pink spider. A faint smile appeared on his face as he strolled over to them.
"Good day, Ginger." He said to her, in a soft and still somewhat gloomy voice.
"Hello, your highness." She responded, bowing lightly to him. The Loud children also bowed their heads to him, with Leni and Lola curtseying to him.
"Who might I ask are your friends?"
"We're the Louds, your highness." Lola said, stepping forward, in her best princess tone. "Allow me to introduce us. I'm Lola Loud, and these are my sisters: Lori, Leni, Luna, Lucy and Lisa." She continued, indicating each of her sisters in turn.
"A pleasure to meet you all." The NeitherWorld prince said of the six human girls.
"Likewise, Prince Vince. I've heard about you from Lydia." Lucy responded with a small smile.
"Oh? You know Lydia? Is she around?" He asked, looking around at the nearby stores.
"Oh no. She's out with our brother." Leni said, followed by "Her boyfriend" before Lucy or Ginger could try and stop her. When Prince Vince heard that, he looked thunderstruck for a moment, before a deep look of depression appeared on his face, the rain cloud pouring even harder. "Oh...did I say something wrong…?"
"What was your first clue…?" Lola grumbled under her breath, glaring at her older sister.
"No. No, Miss Loud. You didn't say anything wrong." Vince said, shaking his head to her.
"Are you sure…? You look so sad…" She pointed out, her
"I always look sad, Miss Loud…"
"Please, call me Leni."
"As you wish, Leni...but as I said, I always look sad." The undead prince repeated himself.
"Maybe so, but I believe that she was referring to how you reacted when you heard that our brother and Lydia were romantically involved." Lisa elaborated upon, making Ginger and Lucy wince again.
"It's...because Prince Vince fancied Lydia for a long time…" The tap dancing spider explained, though she was worried how the NeitherWorld Prince would react to that.
"She speaks the truth." Vince confirmed, thunder sounding off as lightning sliced through the air. "I longed to have Lydia's hand. To have her rule over the NeitherWorld by my side, yet it appears it was not meant to be." He continued, looking down at the tiled floor below him, his eyes closed.
"Oh, Prince Vince...I'm so sorry…" Lola said sympathetically, taking his hand and gently pat the back of it, not paying any mind to the eye patch laden guards who were glaring at her. She had to stand back a little, so's not to get caught in the rain.
"Oh no...it's...it's fine, Miss Lola." The ever glum young ghoul responded to her after a moment. "It's not the first time I was turned down, as Lydia said she wasn't ready to become a princess. And it doesn't prevent us from being friends either way, does it?"
"Exactly, your highness." Lori with a soft smile.
"So, would this be your first time here in the NeitherWorld?" He asked, desiring to change the subject.
"Sure enough, Prince Vince." The third oldest of the siblings responded.
"What brings you, may I ask?"
"It's kind of a long story. The short version is it involves our incorrigible practical joker sister, Luan, Beetlejuice, and April Fools Day." The official leader of the Loud kids told him.
"Ah. Don't blame you on that one." One of the gruff looking bodyguards responded, shuddering in horror. "Beetlejuice alone would be reason enough to steer clear."
"Well, if you would like to see the NeitherWorld, I would be more than happy to show you all around." Vince offered politely, a very small smile returning to his face.
"I'd love to." Lola responded cheerfully, while thinking 'Spending time with a REAL PRINCE! EEEEEEEEE!'
"Thank you, your highness, but I think most of us would like to explore the mall some more." Her oldest sister replied, which brought the pageant princess back down like she were tied to an anvil. She knew that Lori wouldn't let her go with Prince Vince without one of their older sisters going with her. Before she could start pleading with them, Luna spoke up.
"Actually, if it's cool with you guys, I think I'll take his majesty up on his offer." She said.
"Oh? Well, if you like, it's up to you." Lori said. In the blink of an eye, the prissy twin ran over to Luna and hugged her tightly around her waist. They were all a little confused, but it was sweet nonetheless, and the guitar savvy teen hugged her back. The two groups of girls bid each other goodbye, with Luna, Lola and Lucy heading off with the NeitherWorld prince, while Lori, Leni and Lisa remained at the mall. The gothic eight year old kind of smirked as she followed the group leaving the mall, looking back to make sure someone was watching her leave. To her fortune, Ginger and Lisa did indeed see her. However, she didn't intend to go on the tour. She had her own plans while she was in the hereafter. She knew her plan was risky, both if she caught by her family and the fact she was going solo, but it was a risk she was willing to take...to see her Great Grandmother Harriet.