The Bulge

"Come on you know you bulge, right?"

"What?"

"You bulge. Your delivery system always looks like it's ready to launch."

"You're joking, right?"

"Oh come on Fitz. I don't believe you."

"Honestly Olivia I have no idea what you're talking about."

"David come on back me up here. There is no way on earth a man is oblivious when it comes to this. Is all the lock room chatter women hear about size, shrinkage and the like urban legend?"

"Please don't involve me. As someone who can't relate, I'd rather not comment."

"Oh please, men probably talk about this more than sports or food."

Fitz leans forward feigning incredulity. "Are you training to say the male brain is limited to three subjects?"

"Yes, yes I am and if either of you are honest you'd admit it."

Abby reenters the room with a tray piled high with sandwiches, potato salad, cold slaw and pickles.

"What did I miss? I heard the faint grumblings from the y-chromosome brigade back in the kitchen."

"Fitz says..."

"Olivia please don't continue this conversation, I'd very much like to enjoy my evening and if you continue Abby will keep me up all night discussing the esoteric aspects of your observation," David pleads.

"Now I've definitely got hear this. Spill it sister, what has the boys' boxers in a bunch." David and Fitz simultaneously choke sipping their beer.

"When you first met Fitz what was first thing you noticed about him?"

"His package."

"I rest my case." Olivia high fives Abby then takes a bow.

Fitz and David sit dumbfounded.

"Is this what objectification feels like because I feel violated." Olivia plops down on his lap kissing his cheek.

"Come on babe you are not a clueless person, you had to have some inkling."

"Honestly, I thought my hair and eyes were my female lures."

"You're saying you never noticed a woman's eyes traveling south at some point when she was talking to you? Really? You've never overheard a group of women in close proximity bandying about the words package, bulge, unicorn, adickis, stallion or flint stone."

"Flintstone like the cartoon?"

"No, silly, like an actual flint. Your special muscle can ignite fire in a girl, light her up, set her ablaze, stoke.."

"Okay, okay, I get it," he acquiesces, kissing her sweetly to end the chick code lesson.

David turns to Abby, "adickis?"

Somewhat surprised her highly intelligent husband fails to discern the meaning, she whispers, "you know, like Adonis."

"Oh, now I feel woefully inadequate," he bemoans.

"No worries honey, what you lack in size you more than make up for in technique, and with that Abby gives David an ego boosting sensuous kiss.

Olivia not to be outdone gives Fitz a mirror fogging, flag raising smooch. She purrs in his ear, "Your bulge may have caught my attention but your character, spirit, and humor captured my heart. I love you Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III with all my heart and with all my soul."

Fitz nuzzles her neck. "I love you too with all my heart and all my soul."

Olivia threads her fingers through her husband's soft curls. "But your bulge is an added bonus."

Hope you enjoyed this one shot. I've been going through some of my unfinished one shots recently. This one was inspired by a text exchange I had a few years ago with another FF writer. We texted about an article or a website, I can't recall which at the moment, on a glossary of terms to describe the male member. We spent a good half an hour texting brief scenes back and forth using some of the words we came across. This shot is also inspired by an interview where TG had the nerve to say he didn't know why woman were preoccupied with seeing him naked. Really Tony? This was around the time that clip from an early play he was in with Kate Burton showed up on YouTube. I think the play was called Waters Edge. Anyway the clip was a naked full frontal of TG.

Please write a review and tell if you liked this one. More shots are coming.