Previously on What is Quickly Becoming the Mental Breakdown of Varion…

After laying waste to even more silver hand, Varion is summoned to Kodlak's chambers. After some discussion about Varions issues and the vengeance he and Aela have been seeking, Kodlak reveals that he may have found a way to cure his beast blood…

And now, back to the story…

"A cure?" Varion asked, repeating the old man's words.

"That's right. I think I've found it after so many years. But first, I need to explain something, the tale of how the companions first became werewolves" Kodlak said, implying that he wanted Varion to listen. At the dragonborns nod, Kodlak continued. ""The Companions are nearly five thousand years old. This matter of beast blood has only troubled us for a few hundred. One of my predecessors was a good, but short-sighted man. He made a bargain with the witches of Glenmoril Coven. If the Companions would hunt in the name of their lord, Hircine, we would be granted great power" he explained. Varion tilted his head.

"I've felt the strength of the beast, they didn't lie about the power" he spoke up. Kodlak nodded, but his face was solemn.

"That is true indeed, but it's more than just our bodies. This curse seeps into our soul" he replied, wistfully gazing into nothing. "When a werewolf dies, their soul is claimed by Hircine, taken to his hunting grounds, where an endless hunt awaits them. For some, such as Skjor and Aela, this is a paradise. But I am a true nord, and I wish for Sovngarde to be my afterlife" Kodlak continued. Varion nodded, he'd heard of the old man's desire before. "I believe that the harbinger who first made this bargain made it thinking that it was temporary, but he was fooled. Ever since him, every companion has remained a beast since their initiation into the circle right until the day they die, and even further beyond. They never reached Sovngarde..." Kodlak finished somberly.

"And now you've found a way to reach it" he guessed.

"I think so lad" Kodlak confirmed. "The vile witches that cursed us to become these beasts, they are the key to undoing centuries of impurity. I want to you to travel there alone Varion, and slay them all. Not only that, you must bring their heads, the source of their power" he commanded and Varion flexed his shoulders.

"Killing evil witches in some long forgotten cave in Skyrim's wild? Now this is a mission I can get behind" he said with a small grin, standing up and cracking his knuckles.

"Thank you Varion, I thought you would understand. Talos guide you" Kodlak answered as a farewell. Varion bowed slightly in respect, then turned and walked out of the hall. He had a goal now and for the first time in a while, he wasn't conflicted about what he was about to do. His wolf side, dragon side and whatever he called his normal were all aligned towards one goal, helping Kodlak.

X-X-X-X-X

As Varion travelled, he reflected upon Kodlak's viewpoint and words. The beast blood, was it really a curse? The nature in which it had been received would certainly suggest so. Varion thought back on his actions during his war with the Silver Hand alongside Aela. He'd only used the wolf form once, and while it had been exhilarating, he hadn't exactly felt great afterwards. He felt too much like an animal and not a warrior, though Kodlak and Aela seemed to imply he'd get used to it in time, assuming he kept using the form. Varion shook his head. He'd have time to debate with himself later once his task was done. He'd travelled outside of Whiterun's borders again, this time into Falkreath. He'd been tempted to stop at the capital city, seeing as he'd been in Skyrim for over a month now and he'd only seen Whiterun, Riverwood, Ivarstead and Kynesgrove, the latter three not exactly being amazing locations. However, Kodlak's desire for Sovngarde encouraged Varion to ignore the thoughts of exploring and distraction out of his mind and he remained focused, trekking across the land until he reached his destination, Glenmoril Covern. The cave reeked of death and in that moment, Varion cursed his enhanced senses, particularly his ability to smell. He crept forward in the cave, on the lookout for these 'witches' as Kodlak had called them. Seeing as they were apparently the ones that cursed the companions about 300 or so years ago, Varion highly doubted they were regular humans, no-one lived for that long. Maybe elves? "Heh, that would get the nords all riled up" he joked internally. His question was answered when he snuck around another corner and saw the first witch. It was a hagraven, a hideous monstrosity that looked like a fusion of woman and bird. Varion felt his stomach churn, and his blood boil. The witch appeared to be meditating or something seeing as she was just sitting in front of a fire with her back to him. Varion snuck forward, cursing his heavy armour for being so loud, yet his presence remained unknown somehow. At least, it would have before he swung his greatsword and decapitated the witch in one swing. Chuckling at his success, Varion then heard angered screeching and the sound of running. "Damn it!" he cursed to himself. The witches somehow all felt the death of one of their members, so now the rest were coming to kill him. He rolled his eyes and grabbed the witch's head off the ground, holding it by the hair. As the other five witches rounded the corner, Varion grinned with excitement for battle.

"How dare you companion!" the head witch shrieked.

"Well, she's ugly. She's also the biggest, nastiest and probably the most powerful" he thought to himself, though he let none of this show on his face. Varion flexed his shoulders. "I'm breaking this curse. I'm gonna need your heads. It's partially personal" he said far too casually for the situation.

"Ha! You may try, but Lord Hircine will claim your soul no matter what you do!" she retorted before commanding the other hagravens to attack. Varion growled.

"FUS RO DAH!" At his shout, all the witches flew into the cave wall. He heard one particularly loud crunch and saw one of the hagravens fall to the ground, completely limp. "Two down, three to go," he thought, celebrating his success, yet he gripped his sword tight and prepared for his battle. Thanks to his swords fire enchantment, he was able to slice through their fireballs they shot his way, but the three witches kept firing at him, making sure he didn't have a chance to get close. He jumped, rolled, sidestepped, blocked and dodged for at least a full 30 seconds and he only managed to get about 5 metres closer to the witches.

"This is a waste of my time!" he growled to himself, desperately trying to think of a strategy. He then had a flicker of memory, back to Ustengrav. He'd found a word wall then, learned the word 'Feim', but he'd forgotten about it until now. As he parried away another spell, Varion decided that, whatever this word may be or do, it was worth a shot. He focused on Feim and felt his absorbed dragon soul burn up as he gained understanding of the word. "Fade" he whispered to himself. He saw a fireball heading directly towards him and the witch cackled in triumph.

"You can mutter to yourself all you want in death!" she hissed and Varion glared.

"FEIM!" As he shouted, he felt strange, almost weightless. The fireball hit his body, then proceeded to pass straight through him and hit the wall. Glancing down at his hands, Varion noticed that he was transparent. Even his armour and weapons were affected by the shout. "Huh. That's useful!" he smirked before racing back at the witches. Being ethereal like this was a strange feeling, when he ran he didn't feel like he was exerting himself at all. Within seconds, he was next to the now panicking witches. "Laugh now bitch!" he roared and swung the Blade of Whiterun at full force at the leader. He noted that the second he did, he became tangible once again, but given his intent to attack, that wasn't a bad thing. The hagravens dying squawk was silenced as her head went flying. Thanks to their leader dying, the other two hagravens were in a panic, meaning Varion had an easy task with killing them. He used Whirlwind sprint to close the gap between him and them fast, but using two shouts in quick succession caused him a bit of lightheadedness.

"You'll never escape Lord Hirc-" the witch cried before being interrupted. Turns out having your head cut off will put a damper on any boast you want to make.

"Well, that certainly was something" Varion thought to himself as he took a seat in the cave, trying to regain clear vision. He hadn't been too drained by his shouts, but using something with speed like whirlwind sprint without being properly ready to shout again was a bad idea. Shaking his head, he grabbed a bag out of his bigger bag. Wrinkling his nose with disgust, he gathered the witches heads, being half tempted to just crush them to bury their memory, but he couldn't fail Kodlak. He made his way out of the cave, breathing deeply and enjoying the fresh air. "Well, better get back" he muttered to himself as he started on the long trek back to Jorrvaskr. He was feeling pretty good about himself, he now had a strategy to help tame the wolf and dragon natures that were waging war within him, he'd succeeded in helping Kodlak with his dying wish and he hadn't lost himself in that fight. Oh, and he was alive. That was a plus.

X-X-X-X-X

His good mood was ruined when he got to Whiteruns gate, or rather what was left of it. The thing was smashed to pieces, some bits of it scattered throughout the street and still aflame. The thing that disturbed him most though were the bodies. 6 dead men lay in the street, two of them clad in the uniform of the whiterun guard. The others though were dressed like ordinary bandits, except for the distinctive silver weapons they carried. Varions blood boiled. He saw a guard sitting down leaning against a doorframe clutching his apparently wounded arm. "What happened?" he asked urgently, fearing the worst.

"Damn thugs rode into the city" the guard explained though his tone was clearly one of a man in pain. "We didn't think much of it, they said they were here to see the companions. Then the fighting started at Jorrvaskr" he continued. Varions eyes narrowed.

"Where are they?" he asked, his tone ice cold.

"Bastards fled the city, blasting the gate open. We killed a few, but they're good. Cut down many of our best men" the guard answered, his tone now showing mourning. However, Varion was already gone, running towards Jorrvaskr at full speed.

"Damn it! No, this can't be!" he thought desperately as he ran. He used Whirlwind Sprint to ascend the stairs between the plains and wind district and when he did, his anger only increased. Most of Whiterun was gathered around the massive tree, all gazing at Jorrvaskr. The mead hall had taken a massive battering. Bits of the roof were missing, one of the doors was smashed in and fires still burned on and around the hall itself. He saw more silver hand bodies lying around the outside of the hall, cut up and very dead, bleeding all over the place. He was astounded at the amount of dead men. At least twelve dead warriors were lined up outside Jorrvaskr, and that was in addition to the four he'd seen at the city gate. Continuing to move forward, he saw Torvar and Ria investigating the bodies, probably for information or coin, but they had some injuries as well. Evidently, they were far better off than their foes, having some minor cuts on their arms and Ria had one on her face. What he didn't miss thanks to his vision was the expressions on their faces. Ria's was streaked with tears and wracked with grief and Torvar looked more out of it than Varion had ever seen, far beyond his drunkenness. He kept running, quickly making it to the hall itself. He made to open the door, and upon realising it was jammed, tore it off its hinges and threw it aside. The thing had taken a beating anyway, not like he was destroying brand new workmanship. However, Vilkas came storming up to him the second he'd opened the door and he was more pissed off than Varion had ever seen him.

"Where have you been!?" he asked in a tone that emanated pure, barely restrained fury. However, Varion could see that this anger wasn't pure rage, but anger born from loss, the kind he knew well. The expression on his face gave it away.
"I was off slaughtering some witches for Kodlak. What the hell happened?" he asked. He was amazed that the Silver Hand had dared to do something like this, and halfway succeeded.

"Well I hope your witch hunt was worth it, because the Silver Hand attacked us! We drove them off, they fled, but…" Vilkas trailed off, clenching his fists hard.

"What happe-" Varion went to ask him again, but Vilkas cut him off.

"THEY KILLED KODLAK! THEY CAME IN THERE LOOKING FOR THE OLD MAN, AND THEY KILLED HIM!" Vilkas roared, grabbing Varion and slamming him into one of the walls of Jorrvaskr that was still intact. Varion was stunned.

"Kodlak's… dead?" he thought to himself, not willing to believe it. He looked over at the centre of the hall, and saw Farkas kneeling over the body of the harbinger himself. He was crying, the stoic brute warrior was actually sobbing like a child, clutching Kodlak's limp hand. Aela stood near the plaque for the fragments of Wuuthrad, except it was empty. "They took the shards of Wuuthrad, and they killed Kodlak..." Varion slowly processed. Aela was a mess. Her face portrayed her immense guilt, and if Varion wasn't so stunned, he might have felt the same. Her tears fell freely like they had for Skjor and Varion knew that she felt responsible for Kodlak's death thanks to her spree of vengeance, the one that Varion had started. "Me and Aela, we caused this attack with your vengeance, and now Kodlak's dead…" Varion kept repeating the same phrase over and over in his head, and with each repetition, his shock lessened. His anger on the other hand, rocketed up.

"You should've been here Varion!" Vilkas growled, barely holding himself together. If he stopped being angry, he'd weep, and he couldn't allow himself that weakness. "Njada and Athis lie injured because of this attack! You should've-"

"SHUT UP!" Varion grabbed the hand that Vilkas was using to grip his armour, twisted it away, then grabbed the warrior by the shoulders. In about two seconds, he'd slammed Vilkas into the wall hard enough to cause a small dent. Varion's face was ablaze with fury, greater than he had felt when Skjor died. "If you're done blaming me for something I couldn't help, how about we go do something about this!" he demanded, releasing Vilkas as the companion regained his composure from being slammed into a wall. Varion glanced over at his friend. "Aela!" he called out and she barely managed to meet his eyes. "Did you ever get around to finding the silver hand base?" he continued, the anger never leaving his voice. Aela nodded gingerly.

"That's that then" Vilkas spoke up, walking to stand alongside Varion, his former mood returning. "Varion, you and I are going to their main hiding spot, and we're going to kill every last one of them! They will not be forgiven for what they have done! They'll be destroyed!" he declared violently. Varion nodded in eager agreement, but there was something different. His expression had changed from an unbreakable mask of anger into something more sinister. He now had a look of dark excitement on his face, his mouth turned upwards in a sadistic grin. Without really trying to, a gravelly chuckle escaped his throat, and Vilkas looked at him in confusion.

"Oh yeah" Varion growled, his tone carrying excitement and anger all at once. It was even deeper than usual, more gravelly, more… crazed. "I'll destroy everything, every trace. I'll bring down the very idea of the Silver Hand!" he continued, breathing somewhat heavily, thinking back to Krev's taunts from weeks ago. He felt so weird, he'd felt his dragon side roar in rage during Vilkas' attack on him, it was a feeling he knew well. He'd felt the same during his battle with Krev and during his attacks on the Silver Hand. However, this was different. Usually whenever his dragon soul was agitated, for lack of a better word, it felt heavy, like it was clashing with his mortal half, especially when he held back from his instinct to destroy. However, in this moment, he felt lighter than ever. It felt great, he didn't have any inner conflict. His dragon soul and human mind were in perfect sync. It was like the feeling he had when killing Krev, only even better. The only feeling he had in that moment was a pure desire to rip, to tear, to kill, to watch his enemies bow down and die. It was disturbing, and he was loving it. The other circle members were all looking at him with expressions of concern and partial fear, understandably so as even Aela had never seen Varion act like this. However, just as quick as the rush began, Varion pulled himself back to reality, out of his high. Kodlak's words resonated in his head, about achieving balance with his inner nature, to be at peace, and his statement that he believed Varion to be a good man. That memory, combined with his grief and willpower allowed him to snap himself out of whatever state he had been in. Varion didn't really know exactly what had just happened to him, but it scared him. Unfortunately, this awakening made him extremely dizzy and he nearly fell over. He barely managed to catch himself on a table corner before his arm gave out and he fell towards the ground. However, Vilkas caught him and wrapped Varions arm around his shoulder.

"Varion! Get it together! Are you alright?" Vilkas asked/demanded, worry in his voice. The dragonborn was able to barely notice both Farkas and Aela moving closer to him. His head was a blur, his vision dark, his hearing faint. It was like his senses were overwhelmed. His mind was unresponsive, his dragon soul practically silent and his wolf senses confused. He shook his head and grunted in response, still not trusting his mind to come up with a sentence. After a couple seconds, he forced himself to sharpen his mind.

"I'm alright" he answered quietly, the dark edge gone from his voice. "I'll be alright" he repeated, reassuring himself more than anything. He stood back up, once again towering over most other people, with the exception of Farkas who basically matched his height.

"Are you sure?" Aela asked gently. She'd seen him in his rage, she could recognise the signs, but Varion knew that what just happened had been beyond whatever she had experience with.

"Vilkas. We sleep tonight" Varion commanded, ignoring Aela's question before he started doubting himself again. "Tomorrow, we destroy the monsters who took away Kodlak!"

A/N:So, there's a new chapter for you guys! It's a little short, not very actiony, but I felt like having a shorter chapter this time so I can put all my effort into the silver hand slaughter! Plus I've had real life stuff going on, so my writings been slower!

So, Kodlak is dead, and evidently, this hits everyone hard. If you guys know Varion, you'll know he's gonna be after vengeance, so, while I don't have the next chapter planned at all, the only thing I know for real, there will be bloodshed. (if you guys get that reference, you are awesome). Yeah, next chapter will be pretty brutal. Prepare yourselves...

What happened with Varion is very important, the short moment in the last part. However, we'll discuss that at a later date. Just keep an eye out for anything like this, aye? You'll thank me for it!

Thanks for reading! Leave a review with your feedback and thoughts, and I'll see you all in the next chapter!