...These Crazy Archwizards...

"Get up already. I let you sleep in an extra half an hour, that should be more than enough." Everyone woke up rubbing their eyes. All except for Aqua. He pointed his right arm at her, "Create Water!" A jet of cold water shot from his hand and soaked her, causing her to jolt up awake. "Good, now we can get going."

"Hey! Aren't you going to apologize?! I am a Goddess! I should be treated like a Goddess!"

"Treat my foot." He slung his bags over his shoulder and walked away as Aqua shouted after him. Judging by what the map was saying they should be able to make it to the village by the end of the day. Granted, that was without any setbacks to impede their progress. Supposedly there were still enemies like Griffins and Orcs still in the area. They were enemies he'd never encountered, so it was entirely possible for fights with them to go easy or to go horribly wrong. It was probably best to ask about them before they had to fight them. "Megumin, Yunyun, I had a few questions about some of the monsters in the area."

"Go ahead."

"What are Griffins like? I know what they are, but I've never seen them or fought them."

"Griffins?" Yunyun repeated, putting a thoughtful finger up to her mouth. "I haven't seen a Griffin near the village, not recently, so I couldn't tell you how they fight."

"Unfortunately neither can I, though there is a petrified Griffin in the village that we can see if you want," Megumin answered.

"That wasn't the point of the question, I wanted to know so I might get an idea of how to fight them."

"Well we don't know," she shrugged. How helpful.

"Okay then, what about Orcs?"

"I've never fought an Orc, but I can tell you that they're really dangerous since they have their own village nearby."

"I presume their big, strong, and ugly?" Kind of like Brutes, he imagined.

"That's accurate, it's usually best to avoid them. Especially if you're a man," Yunyun added.

"That's-" Wait, he just heard something he didn't understand. "Why especially for men? I don't know much about them except from stereotypes I heard occasionally from books but aren't they usually supposed to be a race of brutish men that do horrible things to women."

"That's how they used to be," Darkness sighed, "Unfortunately they've essentially wiped out all their men, so instead they take it upon themselves to raid the territory of others, capture men and bring them back to the village where they're squeezed dry."

"I don't know whether I should be more worried about what you said or the fact that you sound disappointed they're not doing it to women anymore."

"I-I'm not disappointed, being treated in such a h-horrible, lewd way is… is... " She couldn't finish her line of thought as her imagination was most likely going wild, he could see her face turning pink and beginning to pant expectantly. Yes, he was done asking questions about this topic. He'd rather just fight them head on at this point.

"They're fat, have pig-like faces and often smell," Megumin added on, "Anyone they take back is usually never seen again." Stop it, he could hear Darkness' breathing getting more intense by the second just from the description. "Their treatment is supposedly so awful that adventurers often take their own lives before they can be-"

"I'm going to stop you right there," he covered Megumin's mouth while looking at Darkness, "You really need to be careful about what you say, especially around people like her."

"P-p-people like me, so cold~!" Darkness tipped and fell over, excited.

"I didn't think it was possible to feel violated by words, I've learned something new today," he muttered as Darkness slowly stood up and started to follow them again. The path they walked was clear for the most part, there were a few fallen obstacles but those didn't impede their progress. It was when they reached the top of a hill that they would experience their first problem. He was picking up enemies off in the distance via both his motion tracker and Enemy Detection, but he couldn't see any of them. "Can any of you see any enemies?" He kept surveying the surrounding landscape, but there were no signs of them.

"No, I don't see anything," Anatalia said. He'd hoped that she'd at least seen something since she was the only other one a skill to locate enemies.

"Okay then, keep on your guard and-" He saw something on his motion tracker for just a split second, it was coming towards him. Not wanting to be struck by whatever he was he leapt out of the way and the creature went flying past him. It slowed itself down and turned as soon as it'd gained its balance, Aurdel drew his sword.

"You're quick," a feminine but still deep voice said. The person, or thing rather, that had said it was the creature, a pig headed and fat monster. An Orc. "And judging by the look of your armor and weapon, you're strong too. You'll make a great father for my children!" This world really was awful. The creature charged him again and looked like it would try to grab and subdue him this time, but unlike before Aurdel was ready and knew what was coming his way.

He managed to adeptly avoid the attempted tackle by the Orc with a sidestep, using the opportunity he quickly cut with Gram and severed its left arm from its shoulder. It let out what sounded like a horrific combination between an oink and a squeak as green blood poured out of its wound. If there were more like this one, he didn't want to have to face them all at once. So he'd end this quickly. He thrust Gram through its back, presumably severing its spinal cord as it ceased to thrash or move around at all. Once he pulled his weapon out it's corpse fell to to the grass dead. "Alright, let's get out of here before anymore of them come."

"Aurdel! Don't you know that if you do something like that you'll just… end up… targeted... " Megumin began to say something as they ran, then stopped.

He looked where everyone else was looking. It was a huge group of Orcs. Seeing this, Aurdel immediately backpedalled and fell to the ground as they began to chase after him. "Light of Saber!" Yunyun cast one of her spells and cut a group of the Orcs in half. Seeing their comrades die, the other Orcs stumbled back and had second thoughts about approaching them. With some confidence, but also some embarrassment, he saw her flick her cape and point her wand at the Orcs, "I am Yunyun! Top mage of the Crimson Demons, wielder of Advanced Magic and future Chief of the Crimson Demons! To the Orcs attacking us I'll spare you simply for the fact that we're neighbors, but you must leave!" She shouted it at them. It honestly wasn't something that he'd expect out of her.

The Orcs scrambled and ran away in fear of Yunyun, "How dare you call yourself the 'Top mage of the Crimson Demons!'" Megumin shouted, "That's my title to hold!"

"It is not! You may have been top in our class for mana capacity and magical studies, but only you picked a magic as useless as Explosion!"

"How dare you call my Explosion magic useless!" Megumin swung her staff at Yunyun as they kept walking, Aurdel just sighed.

Yunyun shielded herself, "If anyone found out about Megumin only knowing Explosion magic she'd be disgraced."

"If you want to talk about embarrassing secrets then why don't I tell everyone yours?! Everyone, when Crimson Demons are born we get tattoos. The placement of each one is different and Yunyun's is on-"

"What crazy thing are you saying?! And why do you know where it is?!"

"Quiet both of you, I get that you don't like each other but you really should keep it down. If there are troops of the Demon King they're bound to hear you-"

"Over there! I heard human voices coming from over there!" Well, out of the frying pan. He already had his weapon drawn so everyone else drew theirs.

"Look, there they are! Two of them are Crimson Demons, the rest are human adventurers! We can definitely earn some awards for this!" A large group of demonic looking creatures surrounded them in the forest. The one leading them was slim but muscular, with dark skin, sharp ears and a single horn on its head.

"You want to call my Explosion useless?! I'll show you just how useful it is!" Megumin raised her staff.

"Megumin, don't you dare-!" He began to shout.

"Explosion!" She cast her spell, engulfing the area in the magic explosion. The demonic monsters were all blown away. But so were they. When the dust finally settled the area was nothing but a charred crater with fallen trees surrounding the area all around it. "How is that for useless?! Aurdel, if you had to give that a score what would you give it?!"

"Zero points! You blew us up along with all of those enemies!" He stood up and dusted himself off. Aqua wailed, Darkness looked pleased with herself, Yunyun looked dismayed and Anatalia spit out a mouthful of dirt.

Unfortunately for them, their troubles weren't finished, Another group of those demons came wandering over and surrounded them. But only moments later those same demons dropped all their weapons and gear and charged towards them in a panic. Looking around four figures in black outfits, one that you could almost call the same as the stereotypical biker from the twentieth or twenty first century, appeared out of thin air, probably having using invisibility magic. Even from here he could see their glowing red eyes, "Run!" One of the demons shouted, "It's-!" It was unable to finish its thought.

"Disappear without even a trace of your flesh, burn in the dark flames from the abyss of my heart!" One of the four shouted.

"Oh no, I can't suppress it anymore! Become the sacrifice to pacify my destructive urges!" The second said.

"Come, fall into eternal slumber… In the embrace of my ice-cold arms…!" The third.

"Please rest in peace. I won't forget you all. That's right, your existence will be engraved forever… In the memories of my soul…!" The fourth. Those… those didn't sound like those were chants for spells. Rather, they sounded like-

"Light of Saber!" "Light of Saber!" "Light of Saber!" "Light of Saber!" The four of them all said it at the same time and cut a clean path through all of the demons. And yes, the fact that they used that spell in particular confirmed his thought. Those weren't chants to cast spells, those were just things they said to sound cool. Terrific, these people are all the same. Eventually the four of them approached Aurdel and his party, once the demons were all wiped out.

"We heard the sound of an Explosion in the distance, so me and the anti-Demon King guerilla unit came running over. But isn't that you, Megumin and Yunyun? What are you two doing here?"

"We heard that the village was in danger Bukkoroli, so we came to see if we could help out."

"Danger?" The man scratched his chin, "The village isn't in danger, we've been handling things just fine here." Oh, perfect. "By the way, who are these people you're travelling with? Are they your adventuring comrades?" She nodded, for some reason the man became extremely serious. He flicked his cape, "My name is Bukkoroli, I am a wielder of Advanced Magic, son of the owner of the best shoe shop in the Crimson Demon village and leader of the anti-Demon King guerilla unit!" The man made a pose to emphasize his idea of self-importance. Normally he might have called the man a dramatic idiot but after having seen Megumin and Yunyun do it, it hardly phased him.

Well if he was surrounded by the insane then he might as well act the same way, "My name is Aurdel, I'm a Spartan who has fought with Generals of the Demon King and lead the charge that defeated the Mobile Fortress Destroyer." That seemed to catch the four of them by surprise.
"Woah, we never expected an outside to not give a weird reaction. But we really didn't expect for them to respond in kind!" Yep, easy to please idiots.

Aqua went next of course, though he assumed that had he not gone before her she would have tried to be first. "My name is Aqua, my identity is that of the Goddess of Water, the one worshipped by the masses, and I will be the one to slay the Demon King!" The four were impressed easily, again.

"I'm Anatalia, a Master Thief. I hail from the western continent where I was known as the Queen of Thieves!" Anatalia announced something that he hadn't heard from her before, it was entirely possible that she was just making it up. The four of them look expectantly to Darkness who hadn't yet announced herself.

With all eyes on her, she tried to meet their expectations. "M-my name D-Dustiness Ford L-La… latina… from Axel!" She covered her face at the moment, showing some actual shame for once due to her failure. Why couldn't she show a little self awareness more often? The other four didn't care though, they didn't seem to mind watching her embarrass herself.

"Well these are some fine comrades that you've found Megumin. The village is still a ways out, so we'll just bring you back with us. Teleport!" At that moment they were teleported away without a moment's notice. If it weren't for his experience with slipspace, he thought that all the teleporting he'd done recently would get him sick.

"Welcome to the Crimson Demon village!" Bukkoroli raised his arms with grandeur, spinning and showing off the village as his party looked around dumbfounded. "Anyways, we should get back to our patrol. It was nice meeting you all!" After that, the man walked over to the other three he'd shown up, chanted a spell softly, then disappeared.

"Hmph, they seem somewhat professional," he commented quietly.

"Really? Well I'm sure they're happy to hear that from you. Because they're probably nearby," Megumin said.

"Nearby?"

"Yeah," Yunyun said, "You can't teleport one after another, so they used Light of Reflection to turn themselves invisible and hide. They probably did it so they could have a cool exit- Ow!" A pebble flew through the air and hit Yunyun.

"By the way, the spell only works by putting a barrier in front of the user for a few meters. You can't see the inside from the outside normally, but if you get right up close to it you'll be able to see them." Hearing that Aqua stepped forward, he heard a gasp without a face to place it with. Then, when he heard something back away, Aqua charged forward. Like a cat with a laser pointer she ran all around the village, it was partially amusing but disappointing at the same time. Maybe he should get something like that for her to chase around at home if she was being too rowdy? It could work, it could be like a carrot on a stick but with wine instead of a carrot.

Looking around the village it hardly looked like they were in open conflict with the Demon King. Rather, there were plenty of people just yawning and lazing around at this time of day. If he didn't know better he would say this place reminded him more of a resort town than anything. Eventually Aqua came running back over, tired. "I can't believe that they outran me, a Goddess!"

"They probably used their magic to buff themselves, a dirty trick," Megumin said shaking her head, "I wouldn't expect any less from NEETs."

"From what?" Aurdel asked, an eyebrow raised behind his helmet.

"From NEETs, don't you know what those are?"

"Do you think I would be asking if I knew? Oh never mind, this'll just be a waste of time. Yunyun, why don't we go see your father and see what that letter was all about?"

"R-right." She lead him and the others towards a home near the center of the village, a rather large mansion that stood out next to all of smaller cottage like homes in the village.

"What do you mean it's nothing to worry about?" Aurdel asked. Once inside they found themselves sitting opposite a middle aged man, Yunyun's father.

"Oh that letter was just one to my daughter about how I was doing. I only got a little carried away when I was writing it, but that was my Crimson Demon blood act up."

"That's not how blood works…"

"W-well if you're fine, can you explain your letter in a little more detail then?" Yunyun was partially in a state of shock. "At the start of the letter you said that you had probably already passed on from this world."

"It's just the standard Crimson Demon greeting! Weren't you supposed to learn that in school?" The standard what greeting was what now? "Oh though I do suppose you and Megumin did graduate early just because of how good you were, so that can't be helped."

"...and the military base by the Demon King?"

"Oh, that. Well the Demon King built this really elaborate and extravagant base and we couldn't decide whether or not we should keep it." Aurdel was ready to slam his head onto the coffee table in front of him, Yunyun looked like she was going to ask him to punch her father.

"So, there's nothing going on here then?" He asked.

"Well there should be an attack coming up, you'll be able to see that magic resistant General of theirs if you take a look with me. What do you say?" It couldn't hurt to take a look.

Aurdel was about to answer when a voice over what sounded like a loudspeaker spoke, "Attention, Attention, Demon King army alert. All those who are free please gather at the Griffin statue and prepare for combat, the enemy currently numbers at about one thousand."

...Inhospitable Hospitality...

Initially when he'd heard that there were a thousand of the Demon King's forces heading their way, he thought that he had to be worried and would have to participate in the oncoming battle. This feeling increased when he saw that only fifty Crimson Demons showed up to oppose them. However, when the attack actually began this feeling was completely wiped away. Coincidentally, so were the forces of the Demon King. "Lightning Strike!" "Energy Ignition!" "Freeze Gust!" "Cursed Lightning!"

This battle was, in fact, a one sided massacre. And like a car crash in slow motion, you can't help but watch it as it happens and take in every moment of it. He watched as the Demons were pelted with spell after spell of high level magic, either freezing in a wall of ice, bursting into flames or being charred by a bolt of lightning. Eventually a tall figure in a red dress walked out from the middle of the group of Demons, ordering them about. That was most likely the General leading them. They didn't stand for long.

Right away Bukkoroli and another Crimson Demon he didn't know the name of stepped forward. The former cast their spell, summoning a tornado like torrent on both the General and their troops. Then the latter person cast their spell, summoning a huge blaze of fire in the tornado. He kept watching as the Demons were slaughtered and were eventually forced to retreat by the overwhelming force of the Crimson Demons. After that they decided that they would rest for the rest of the day.

Yunyun left them, saying she was off to punish her friend Arue for the part of the letter that she'd sent and confused her with. The rest of them went off to Megumin's house where they were supposed to be staying during their time here. The house that Megumin led them to was rather small compared to the others in the village, especially when compared to Yunyun's home, and looked rather rundown. He knocked on the door. Moments later, little footsteps could be heard running on the inside towards the door right before it opened. "Hey Komekko, I'm home. Have you been a good girl?" Megumin said. They all stood in front of the door.

The young girl, who looked like she was young enough to be in elementary school, stared at them for a moment. She yelled, "Mom! Dad! Big sister brought back a man!" And ran off. Great, things were off to a good start. Eventually, after an initially heated confrontation in the living room, he found he himself sitting before Megumin's parents. The air was awkward as the two of them stared at him with his helmet off. Somewhere off to the side Darkness, Aqua and Anatalia were playing with Komekko, who eventually settled with just fluffing and sleeping on the white fox's soft tail.

"Thank you, for taking care of my daughter. I express my sincere gratitude for that." Megumin's father, Hyoizaburo, gave a light bow.

Her father was a man with dark hair, sharp eyes but also a tired expression on his face to match his partially ragged appearance. Her mother meanwhile was a beautiful woman, one with looks similar to Megumin herself and only slight wrinkles at the corner of her lips and eyes. "Yes, we have heard of all the trouble that you've been through together from the letters that she's sent back. We deeply appreciate the care that you give our daughter." She gave a deep bow as opposed to her husbands light bow. Clearly these two had different thoughts on their minds.

"So, what is the relationship that you have with my daughter?" Hyoizaburo asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

Aurdel looked over towards Megumin, she was asleep and had been asleep for a while now as they'd been talking. It certainly would have helped to have her here. "My relationship? She was the second person to join my party, she's a valuable part of it but she's nothing more than a partymate."

"Somehow I doubt that…" Her father lowered his head.

"Why's that?"

"Because our daughter has already sent a letter mentioned how she slept with you before," Yuiyui chimed in. Ah, context is king.

"Then I'm afraid you got the wrong idea of 'sleep with,' I never slept with her in that manner. In fact I can't do that with anyone because I'm stuck in this suit of armor." He tapped his titanium chestplate, "all that really happened was that she was having trouble falling asleep and I helped her go to bed." Megumin's father seemed relieved to hear that but her mother seemed to be less so. He looked back over towards the others. Aqua has lost interest in performing her tricks and had gone to lazing about, Darkness was quietly drinking some tea that had been set out and Anatalia was still snuggling up with Komekko.

The way she was acting was odd, as it was more akin to how a mother treated her daughter than anything else. She hadn't mentioned any sort of family when he'd first met her or anything of the sort since, but it could be that she just didn't want to open up about it yet. It was something he could ask her about later, right now he had to focus on Megumin's parents. "I do have to ask, what is the financial status of your party?" Yuiyui questioned, Hyoizaburo shot an almost apologetic look at him after she'd asked that.

"We're not in bad financial standing if that's what you're asking, I'm keeping a large portion of our party's funds in storage to keep it safe."

"...And how much might you have?"

He had to think about the question since he hadn't exactly entirely known himself, he could only give a rough estimate. "Hmm… Around one billion eris?" Yuiyui nearly dropped her cup full of tea hearing that.

"My my, so much. You must spoil my daughter, but where do you live?"

"In a mansion just outside of Axel."

"A mansion?!" The both of them shouted, practically getting in his face with their eyes glowing, before backing off and collecting themselves again. These people really were something else...The look he saw in their eyes was devious and planning. He decided that he would try and ease the mood a little.

"Here… Something to repay your hospitality." He handed over a wrapped box, the two of them tried to grab it at the same time and began to passive aggressively fight over it. He blinked and looked over towards the other four. The lack of attention they paid to this conversation was astounding. Rather than get in between their arguing he decided to go over to the Anatalia and Komekko, he patted the little girl on the head and sat down next to them. "Say, Anatalai, do you have any family?"

"Of course I do, why wouldn't I?"She took a bun he handed to took and gave it to Komekko who began to nibble on it right away.

"I didn't say that, I was just asking because you're giving off a really motherly feeling."

"Really?" She tilted her head, "Well I wouldn't be the only one. After all, from what I've heard from the others you try to act like a father a lot."

"Funny story…" he muttered quietly.

"But no, I don't have any kids. I do have a little sister that I had to take care of, though."

"Had to?"

"I was separated from her a long time ago. The country I came from wasn't exactly the most stable. So when tensions began to rise again and battles happened I sent her away so she'd be safe, because I only had enough money for her."

"I heard a lot of stories like that where I'm from, both because of the Insurrection and because of the Covenant."

"Insurrection?"

"The Insurrection was a political movement turned full on rebellion that started in the Outer Colonies, the usually poorer of the planets in the UEG and last to be colonized. Millions died, civilians and combatants alike. They were who I was originally trained to fight."

"And the Covenant?"

"An alien empire seeking to destroy humanity, they were ultimately who I ended up fighting against. The war against them was still going on when I died but I have no idea how it'll end. But I pray that people like John will keep the fight going and finish the fight against the Covenant."

"It seems that no matter where you're from, there will always be some fight going on. But who's John?"

"John is…" He smiled, "Well, if I'm going to talk about John I want to make sure that everyone hears about him. So let's go have dinner because I think I can smell it already."

"Where am I supposed to sleep?" Aurdel asked.

"This way," Yuiyui said, leading him through the house and opening the door to one of the rooms. The room was rather small and appeared to only have a small amount of bedding in place. He stepped in. "My family and I are all fairly heavy sleepers, so don't worry about the amount of noise you make at night."

"Noise?" He turned, "Why would I be making-" The door shut before he could finish.

"Lock!" She cast a spell and locked the door, then walked away. Aurdel blinked. He decided to take a closer look at the room.

Taking a closer look, he found that Megumin was asleep in the room. Putting two and two together, he also found that Megumin's mother would probably qualify as a bad mother given what she wanted. So instead of doing what she was probably expecting him to do he just sat against one of the walls and closed his eyes. Time passed and he was unable to sleep, there was something off. Something in his gut was telling him that something bad would happen within the next few days. The feeling was similar to what Kurt had described his 'feelings' to him as, almost like a vague premonition.

He didn't know what to make of it though, he couldn't place anything that would happen or anything that would cause something to happen to give him that feeling. It could just be some inner cynicism clawing away at him from the inside but there was no way to be sure. He heard a yawn, he looked up. Megumin sat up from the bedding and stretched her arms, then looked around. "Aurdel? What are you doing in here?"

"Ask your mother, though that's if you can get through the lock she put on the door."

"She did what?!" Her voice raised with confusion.

"You can take your guesses as to why," he yawned. After that it was silent for a moment

"...You know, I'm fine with you sleeping in the bedding," she said softly.

"It's not like I need it to fall asleep, I'm more than capable of sleeping like this."

"Then why don't you come over here because I asked you?"

He sighed, stood up and walked over, "I suppose it wouldn't be weird since we're party members. But also because I'm old enough to be your father, it's like a child wanting to be comforted after a nightmare."

"Don't say it like that! I'm not that young…" she grumbled. When he laid down she seemed to ease up. She grabbed his arm and pulled up close, something rather odd. Then she whispered, "I win again."

Realizing what she meant, "Oh you little brat." The window was open, so he took his leave.