Hello all, a few of you follow and read my other story so know I am attempting to be more consistent with posting. Well, here is my attempt here. I have gone through and edited all chapters again and will be updating the previous chapters in the next few days. There might be a few slight changes but nothing drastic. Before I have said that I would probably finish ADP first but who knows, there really isn't a ton of stuff that needs to happen for this story to come to a close so I might finish it soon, as long as things continue to run smoothly.

Without further ado, here is the next chapter.

Chapter 19 – The Perils of Teaching

Unused Classroom, Hogwarts

Though the classroom was unused, it was not covered in dust like one would expect. This classroom still had much of the furniture that was used when the room was occupied by classes and the furniture was in good condition as well.

There had been many students who stumbled upon empty classrooms throughout the years; they used those classrooms for one reason or another. Some used it for studying, some for experimenting. Others used the classrooms for rendezvous with people outside their Houses. This classroom was found by two second year students; one Ravenclaw and one Gryffindor. Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom had gone looking for a place that was unoccupied with little to no chance of visitors, not to cause trouble but because they didn't want just anyone knowing what they were studying. With the aid of a castle Elf, they had a nice place to come together to do what they wished to do uninterrupted.

"How has the research been going, Harry?"

Harry tapped the book in his hand absently while gathering his thoughts. "It's fascinating really. Like all magic, Parselmagic has the potential to do good or bad depending on intention. From what I understand, there is a greater chance of achieving the intended result than regular magics."

"How so?"

"The section on introductory casting said that, in general, there are no real spells and that to cast magic one only needs to know how to phrase Parseltongue to activate the magic within and around you."

"So, is Parselmagic more like ritual spells?"

Harry nodded slowly, "Yes, in that it is more about invoking magic with structured phrasing but also not because it doesn't involve circles or the sacrifice of anything other than internal magic or ambient power."

"Does it tell you how you know if you are speaking or hearing it? You did say you weren't aware you were hearing anything other than English when you spoke to snakes in the past."

"Apparently, that comes with maturity and practice. The younger you discover the gift, the better. It takes a great deal of practice in order to recognize the difference before you reach magical maturity and people mature at different rates so the book claims that without practice the most powerful people with the gift may not realize they are speaking Parseltongue until well into their twenties."

Neville nodded, "Is there any way I can help you practice?"

"The only way to practice is to switch back and forth between Parseltongue and English; if I can get a snake to practice with you could definitely help me. I would need you to tell me when I fail to switch to the proper language."

"Where are we going to find a snake?"

"Do you think there are any portraits with snakes that would be willing to talk to me?"

"Possibly, though I'm not sure where any are. You could ask Daphne or Blaise if they know were a snake portrait is. If they don't know, maybe Professor Snape would be willing to tell you where one is."

"Should I tell them why I want to know?"

Neville thought about it for a moment, "I think you can trust Daphne and Blaise to think rationally about you being a Parseltongue. Honestly, I think all of our friends would be fine with it, I just don't know if Draco would be able to hold his tongue if he was angry."

"I thought the same."

Harry looked down at the book he had purchased the previous year over the Yule Holiday. He had read the book through so many times he could almost quote sections. He hadn't spoken to anyone about it until now because he really wanted to understand what the book was saying. It wasn't like he could ask someone to read a section and give their interpretation after all. He was the only one who saw anything other than squiggles when he looked at the pages.

He had looked around Flourish and Blotts over the summer, looking for other books written in Parseltongue, but hadn't found any. He was desperate for more information. "Where can I find more books on Parseltongue?" he wondered absently.

"That I don't know. I'm assuming you looked in the library, and beyond that there are just personal libraries and shops in Knockturn Alley and I don't think either idea is helpful right now."

Harry nodded. "Maybe I should talk to Daphne and Blaise."

"Maybe you should talk to Daphne and Blaise? Why not talk to the Terrible Two?"

Harry and Neville turned to find the twins in the doorway. "Hey guy," Harry smiled, "how did you find us?"

Fred grinned while George shrugged, "We may have borrowed something from a certain Ravenclaw at breakfast this morning without telling him."

"In preparation for a prank."

"And while examining this item, we saw the two of you alone in an unused classroom."

"Being concerned older students, we decided to check up on you."

"See if there was anything bothering you."

"Other than terrible defense teachers."

"Because we are also concerned older brothers."

Neville was shacking his head in amusement when Harry answered. "Everything is fine, guys. We're going to see professor McGonagall later today; this is something different." He looked at Neville, then back at the twins. "I've been studying a book here so I don't scare anyone."

"A BOOK," Fred gasped.

"Oh, the horror."

"How could he, George? A Ravenclaw reading a book; is there anything more terrifying?" Both were using exaggerated tones, grasping at their chests or placing a hand on their head as if they were about to faint.

Harry rolled his eyes, "It's not that it's a book but the contents of that book that I am trying to keep hidden."

The redheaded twins plonked down on a table, "What, are you studying blood rituals or something?"

"Trying to raise the dead?"

"Sacrifices?"

Instead of answering, Harry handed the book to the twins. Of course, considering the subject, they couldn't read what it said or even tell what it was.

"You're trying to learn gibberish?" Fred wondered.

George, however, was studying the writing closely. "Harry, is this…" he trailed off studying the cover with extreme focus. "Tell me, Fred, do any of these symbols look serpent like?"

Fred looked back down at the book and shrugged, "I guess. Could just be a kid's doodles though."

"Fred, Harry is trying to be serious. There are snakes on the cover too." He handed the book back to his adopted brother while Fred mouthed an apology, "Are you a Parselmouth Harry?"

The dark haired second year nodded sheepishly. "I've only told Neville; actually, I only found out because of Neville. I found the book while shopping for Hermione's Christmas present last year; when Neville saw it and realized I could read it, he figured it out."

Fred jumped down from the table and placed his hands on Harry's shoulders, "Thank you for trusting us with this."

"If you were discussing whether or not to share with your other friends when we came in," George added, "I think you should. Daphne, Hermione and Blaise would help you without question."

"Is there anything we can do?"

"Do you have access to a snake or know if there are any portraits with snakes in them?" Neville asked.

"Can't help with the actual snake," Fred shrugged. "Unless you want to buy one; I could probably smuggle one in during the next Hogsmeade visit."

"But there are a few portraits with snakes in them," George finished. "Most are by the Slytherin common room. And Fred, if he wanted to own a snake, I think he should be the one to pick it out; I am sure they would have a nice conversation about something to determine if their personalities meshed well."

"One is outside Professor Snape's quarters. You are of course correct brother."

"Daphne and Blaise might know someone with a pet snake but asking to see their snake might get complicated."

"Daphne is deviously Slytherin, so she might be able to work something out."

"Have you considered talking to Remus and Sirius about this?" George asked quietly.

Harry shook his head, "I don't know what to say. I kind of feel like this is the kind of thing you tell someone in person. I'm also not sure how they would take it. Neville said Parseltongue doesn't have a great reputation and I am just getting to know them; I don't really want to lose them."

"Harry," Fred sighed, "Yes, there are people out there who fear things simply based on a reputation but I do you honestly think that Sirius and Remus would walk out on you for something you didn't even know you had until a year ago?"

George put an arm around his brother's shoulder, "Remus tried to write to you for years; he won't leave you now. Sirius's first question upon his freedom was when he could see you."

"People who actually deserve to be in your life aren't going to care." Neville smiled, "We are your friends, your family. You are who you are not because of your abilities but what you chose to do with them."

"So, as long as you don't try to take over the world in the name of Salazar Slytherin, the fact that you are a Parselmouth just means you have an interesting gift."

Harry snorted at Fred's scenario; he really did have great friends. "I'll talk to them; I'm not going to tell Draco, Susan or Luna yet but the rest, absolutely. Neville's right, Draco hasn't yet learned to hold his tongue when flustered; Susan and Luna aren't as close to us yet." He opened his bag and pushed the Parseltongue book in with his school books, "I'll make sure to tell Remus and Sirius the next time I see them. I am actually going to think about owning a snake; that might be really awesome." He grinned, "For now, we are supposed to meet up with the others in about ten minutes."

Hogwarts

Minerva McGonagall was exhausted. Her life had been getting more challenging as Albus did less and less of the work for the school but the last school year had been so much worse. Not only was she handling the budget, the parents and the teachers but she also got stuck with board correspondence and the near constant issues with the ministry. Why couldn't those people function without the headmaster? Of course, it didn't help that they had needed to find two teachers before winter holidays the previous year.

That wasn't even considering what Quirrell did and Hogwarts' warnings. She was mentally preparing herself for Albus to be expelled from the castle. He was lucky to keep his job after the incident with their possessed defense professor and the death of young mister Higgs. She really needed to think about finding a professor who could take her place as Head of Gryffindor House.

If she wasn't careful, Albus would take her with him. With the way the start of the term was going, she wasn't sure how long any of them would last.

Gilderoy Lockhart was the bane of her existence. He was irritating in every way imaginable; from his need for attention, to his horribly garish wardrobe. She couldn't remember him being that self-absorbed in school but then again, she hadn't been his head of house and she had already been taking over much of Albus's work so had little time to deal with average student's outside her house. She honestly felt bad for Filius.

It was a weekend and traditionally that meant she would be working on paperwork, grading papers, and trying in vain to get Albus to do his job. On this particular Saturday, however, she had had nothing but students in her office complaining about their Defense Against the Dark Arts class. She really couldn't blame them either.

The Deputy Headmistress had some complaints about the first day of class, mostly from fifth- and seventh-year students worried about the end of the year exams, their tests were much more important than the regular end of year exams. Ravenclaw students had also been very vocal about their displeasure. She had taken note of the so-called quiz and asked the students to give it a few more classes, it sometimes took a few classes for new teachers to find their way. Most of the students had been alright with that.

Lockhart's personal quiz was the least of their worries at this point.

Her second year Lions and the second-year snakes had a terrible class that week. Gilderoy Lockhart had introduced the students to Cornish Pixies. That should have been fine, they were just Cornish Pixies, but in what she was coming to realize was true Gilderoy fashion, the lesson had fallen apart in moments. All of her lions had been in here, even Ronald Weasley who could honestly care less about his grades, complaining about the lesson. Pixies attacking students and even hanging one from a chandelier was absolutely unacceptable.

She signed when there was yet another knock on her door. "Come in."

The door was opened to reveal Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Daphne Greengrass, Blaise Zabini and the only second year Gryffindor she hadn't already seen that morning, Neville Longbottom. Behind them were Filius and Severus.

Fantastic.

"Good afternoon, Professor," Harry Potter smiled at her, "could we have a moment of your time?"

She glanced at the other heads of house and nodded, "Of course, please come in." Minerva waved her wand, conjuring a few extra chairs so that each of the students would have a seat; with another wave of her wand she had tea brewing as well as a pot of coffee for Severus. "Might this be about our illustrious Defense Professor?" The children nodded while Severus smirked and Filius had the audacity to stifle a giggle. "Who would like to start then?" she asked with a sigh.

The students exchanged glances before Miss Greengrass straightened. "We assume that you have been approached about the oddities happening within the defense lessons this year, starting with the quiz that asked nothing about the course and everything about the professor," the young Slytherin paused for Minerva's nod. "Our study group decided to take a wait and see attitude in terms of this action because it was only the first class and the assigned text was more than adequate. After the events of the last Gryffindor/Slytherin lesson, we can no longer wait in silence."

It was Neville who spoke next, "To briefly describe events, Lockhart showed us a cage of agitated pixies and then released them. He was then attacked by those same pixies, who threw his wand out the window and pulled the toupee from his head; the next thing any of us knew, he was running from the room screaming for us to deal with them."

"That was when Hermione and I arrived," Minerva had heard about the pixies and Lockhart's retreat from other students but had not heard about the Ravenclaw students' arrival. "We were walking down the corridor during free period and heard Lockhart's scream. We knew his voice and knew our friends were in his class that period so we went to see if they were alright."

"When we arrived, most of the class was running out the door and down the hall, I am not even sure any of them even noticed us. Daphne, Blaise and Neville stopped to inform us of what had transpired," Hermione Granger looked to the others, perhaps asking permission to continue. "we decided together to help the few students that remained in the class and formed a plan based on our strengths."

"Harry has more power and control than the rest of us," the young Zabini boy sounded board, "so he was to get Weasley down from the chandelier. Daphne and Hermione actually have long hair so could properly help Parkinson, who was being tied to a desk with her hair by a couple of pixies. Neville and I were to corral the pixies that were destroying things and cornering the Crabbe, Goyle and Bulstrode."

Ah, so that was how things were cleaned up, Minerva mused. She then turned her attention to Filius, knowing he would have something more to do with this.

The half goblin grinned, "Mister Potter came to get me once the pixies were contained and I checked the students over and cleaned up the mess. None of the students seemed harmed but I did have Mister Longbottom escort them to the infirmary for a check-up, just to be safe. A few older students found the pixies that had followed Lockhart and handed them over to Professor Kettleburn. Professor Snape arrived while I was cleaning the office and giving my curious ravens an impromptu lesson on repairing things, the majority of his students had run strait to him after escaping and he was coming to check on those that had not."

"I was also going to confront the idiot," Minerva tried not to scowl too much at the name calling, Severus could have called the man worse. "He should not have released the pixies in the first place, not to mention the fact that he did not know how to counter them once released. The man should not be teaching. All of my students have filed complaints with me," he pulled a pile of papers from one of his robe pockets and handed them to her. "My Slytherins would like Lockhart removed from his position or at the very least, tested for competency."

Minerva looked at the five students sitting before her, "Would you all like to file formal complaints as well?" Each of the five pulled sheets of parchment from their robes and handed them to their Deputy Headmistress. She now had formal complaints from more than half of the second-year students and a handful of older students connected to those second years in some way, she expected those who had complained before to return to her office within the next few hours as well. Had she not already been planning to sack the man, this would have signed his termination, unless of course Albus stopped her from handing the man his walking papers.

"Rest assured, this incident will be investigated closely and appropriate action taken."

It was Neville who responded, "Thank you, Professor. I have sent a letter describing the incident to my grandmother with a note saying we were going to the professors. I have asked her to hold off approaching the rest of the board until the teaching staff has had a chance to address the matter."

If Minerva was not mistaken, the children had rehearsed what they planned to say through out this meeting. Some of them, mister Longbottom in particular, sounded far too rehearsed and too well thought out for a twelve-year-old. "If things do not pan out the way I wish, I will be approaching the board myself, Mister Longbottom." She studied each of the children for a moment, "is there anything else you wished to discuss with me?"

"No, Professor," Mister Potter stood while speaking. "That was all we had, if you have no other questions for us, we have a study session in the library shortly and some of us still need to get our supplies."

The group of second years filed out of the room, leaving the three Heads of House. "I suppose you have some other business to discuss with me?" Minerva certainly hoped there was nothing more to add to this incident with Lockhart.

It was Filius who answered, though she thought the answer was something that Severus was more likely to say, well, the nice version of what Severus would have said. "I am still concerned by Albus's actions of late."

A part of her, the part that had been Albus's student and later apprentice, wanted to defend the Headmaster and deny any reason for concern. The educator, however, knew there was much to be concerned about, especially when she remembered the castle's warnings. "Unfortunately, I too have been concerned and startled by Albus's decisions on a number of subjects. What has enticed you to speak to me again of your concerns?"

"Many of the events of the last school year," Severus said simply.

"Particularly the Stone and Quirrell. Then there is his appointment of Gilderoy, I attempted to remind him that Gilderoy was an intellectual student but was not particularly talented in magics and was a poor defense student, especially practically."

"Harry Potter." Severus, again, gave a short, simple answer.

Filius nodded, "Albus seems oddly interested in Mister Potter. Now that might be because of his surviving but he does not ask how the boy is dealing with his sudden fame, having grown up in the muggle world, he is more concerned with why he was sorted into my house as opposed to yours and keeps asking if he really fits in with my Ravens. Albus does not particularly like his friends from Ravenclaw and Slytherin, is only tolerant of young Miss Bones and is accepting of Mister Longbottom but keeps insisting that Ronald Weasley would be a great friend for him. He does not seem to remember, or actively forgets, that Harry is quite friendly with Fred and George Weasley."

Minerva raised an eyebrow at that, this was a new angle, "What makes Albus think that Ronald and Harry would get along? While I am fond of the Weasleys in general, though Fred and George drive me to distraction, Ronald is not the best example of what his family has to offer. He is, unfortunately a lazy student and Harry is an exceptionally dedicated student. I doubt they would get along for more than an afternoon."

"I quite agree, which is why it is so odd. Severus, despite his aversion to Mister Potter's father, finds Harry to be an intelligent and respectful child, reminiscent of his mother; he curses Ronald Weasley almost more than he does the twins."

"Was it really necessary to bring James Potter into this?" Severus wondered with a scowl. "I will admit that I am rather pleased with Harry Potter and that I do, grudgingly, prefer the twins over Ronald. The twins don't blow up cauldrons in my class."

"No, they save that for empty classrooms," Minerva grumbled. She shook her head, "was there anything else of concern?"

"I wonder if Albus will allow you to dismiss Gilderoy," Filius smirked in a way that was rather terrifying on his usually jovial face.

Minerva sighed, she was afraid he would put up a fight as well. "I plan to speak to him and tell him what I am prepared to do. If he doesn't allow this, I might just ask Vindictus what the castle thinks."

"Vindictus?"

She smirked at the potions master, "I would have thought you would have known who he was, he was a potioneer and former headmaster. Vindictus Viridian is perhaps the most obnoxious portrait in the Headmaster's office and he enjoys being rude and insulting to every headmaster that graces the office. Albus hates him and he is the first to point out Albus's many mistakes. The Castle was very irritated with the incidents of last year, and I am sure Vindictus has been using those mistakes to terrorize Albus relentlessly. And, quite frankly, Albus will not have a say in the matter; if he does not agree, I will go straight to the board and you heard Mister Longbottom. Augusta Longbottom will not allow something like this to go unpunished, Albus will have to be made aware that she will be more than ready to sink her teeth into him. The many formal complaints combined with the potential harm to the students only has one option, and that is loss of position."

Filius and Severus shared a look, and it surprised Minerva that the look seemed to be a conversation; she was completely unaware that they had formed that strong of a relationship.

"If you need any help, Minerva," Filius said while sliding to his feet, "you have only to ask. Severus and I both agree that changes need to be made and we are prepared to fight Albus to protect the students." Severus nodded and then they both left her office.

It was going to be a challenging week.

Second Floor

Gilderoy Lockhart was not a happy man.

This year was supposed to be good for him. He was going to make more money than usual in book sales, because every Hogwarts student would have to buy all his books for class. This was denied by the Headmaster. He was going to shape the minds of the children with the most familial influence and the ones with the most potential influence for the future. Those students wanted nothing to do with him and he had no idea why. He was going to find a new topic to write about. Why was nothing interesting happening this year? Couldn't he have been there when there was a possessed teacher? That would have made an amazing book. Harry Potter was going to be his ticket into the hearts of those he hadn't been able to snare in the past. Harry Potter was worse than the rest of the students. He was going to show those kids how to dress, he was best dressed after all. Why did the Headmaster have to have such a great collection of robes?

To make matters worse, some of the students learned that his hair was only as perfect as it was because he wore a toupee. Additionally, he was humiliated by pixies of all things. But no, the worst of it was the damn pixies had lost him his job.

He had just come from the Dumbledore's office. He thought the meeting would be about how wonderfully he was doing; oh, how wrong he had been.

When he saw Minerva, he should have known things would not go his way; she was just so jealous of his fame and talent for teaching. His second clue should have been the lack of color in Dumbledore's wardrobe, gray really wasn't the Headmaster's color. The smugly smiling portraits were the kicker though.

All the headmaster had said was, "I'm sorry, my Boy, I am going to have to break our contract for the year." Gilderoy wasn't entirely sure what he had said in response to that. The headmaster had said something about his lesson plans not meeting standard and the pixie incident and then apologized.

Lockhart saw right through all that though. They were jealous, every single one of them.

Dumbledore was envious of his robes.

McGonagall wished she was as famous.

Severus was jealous of Gilderoy's hair and pleasing face.

Flitwick hated being that short.

The Witches teaching Astronomy, Runes and Arithmancy were upset that they couldn't win his heart.

Sprout, Hooch and Pomfrey were jealous of his youth.

The students just knew they would never achieve half of what Gilderoy Lockhart had so they had begged to be rid of him, to be rid of the future shame.

As a result, he was out of a job.

Gilderoy had left the office in a daze. How could they have done this to him after only three weeks at the castle? With his lack of book sales, he had actually needed this job. His fans and Witch Weekly's best smile awards only went so far.

Wandering the school really wasn't as therapeutic as he thought it would be. He looked around after kicking a wall in frustration and realized he wasn't entirely sure where he was and really needed a mirror to check his appearance. He did have to remain in his post for the remainder of the week, so the blasted staff could arrange things properly for the students. It was a travesty that he would be out of the castle before October.

Looking around, he spotted a portrait with a well dress wizard nearby, "I say, kind sir," Lockhart asked the painting, attempting to sound enchanting, "do you know where the nearest mirror is? I must check my appearance before I let the students know that I can't continue being their professor due to an emergency that requires my skill and expertise." Yes, that was how he would spin it.

The man in the portrait raised an eyebrow, Lockhart hoped it didn't mean that the truth had made it that far, before pointing down the hall. "There is a restroom at the end of the hall. Three doors down on the opposite wall as my painting."

"Thank you, kind sir, and might I add, you are wearing rather smashing robes."

"Thank you, and you are welcome. Better hurry, or the students will leave the Great Hall before you arrive."

"Too true. I must be off. A grand entrance is only grand if there are people to watch."

Lockhart made his way down the hall and found the restroom easily. He was a bit distressed when he realized it was a lady's restroom but quickly shook that off, desperate times did call for desperate measures.

He took a step forward, pushing the door open at the same time he looked down at the puddle he stepped into. The hem of his lavender robe was soaked, as were his lovely violet, suede boots. His last thought was that the water would ruin his shoes before he noticed a pair of big yellow eyes looking back at him in the water.

Great Hall

"Good evening, students," Headmaster Dumbledore said in his most grandfatherly tone.

He was extremely irritated. Minerva had strong armed him into firing Gilderoy. Why couldn't Gilderoy have just given the student's reading and had them practice the spells in the book? Did he really have to bring pixies? Once again, he was going to have to find someone new to teach the class and inevitably it would be someone at least marginally competent. Why did the universe hate him? Harry Potter was the only one who could make Voldemort vulnerable. But in order to do that he needed to die. The boy was not going to do that willingly if he could defend himself.

"It brings me great sadness to announce that our beloved defense professor will not be able to finish the year with us. He will be…" before he could finish his thought, the student body stood as one, cheering uproariously. Albus almost scowled but just managed to keep his expression pleasant. "Yes, I too am happy for him. His next opportunity will be great for him but does not fit in with his class schedule.

"Professor Lockhart will be staying with us through the end of the week while we wait for our new professor." He looked down the staff table, just then noticing that Gilderoy was not there. "It seems he wants to make an entrance tonight, so for now, how about we tuck in."

The student body didn't need to be told twice. They didn't care where Gilderoy Lockhart was. They didn't care if he was fired, or quit, though most assumed fired. All the student body cared about, no matter what house, was that Lockhart was no longer teaching their defense glass. If he disappeared and never came back, there wasn't a single student that would care.

At the beginning of the year a few of the female students had been drawn in by his fame and good looks; it didn't take long for that to change. There wasn't a girl alive who wanted to admire a man who found his own appearance to that tantalizing. When people are that self-absorbed, eventually, they chase others away. Lockhart had also proved how truly inept he was; after the replacement teacher from the previous year, no student wanted to settle for Witch Weekly's best smile when they could actually learn defense.

The teaching staff also didn't care where the pompous moron was. They found him to be exceedingly annoying and a disgrace to teachers everywhere. One in particular was almost jolly that Albus had allowed Minerva to fire the man without brining the Board into it. Severus had nearly killed the man a dozen or so times in the first week alone. Lockhart thought it would a smart thing to change his look. Black was just so depressing, why not wear Aqua? His hair was rather unflattering, why not get a different haircut and perhaps a dye job? His nose, well obviously he needed to fix that too. Severus Snape was not a fan of Gilderoy Lockhart before he came to the castle, now Gilderoy Lockhart was higher on his LIST than Sirius Black.

Minerva was pleased. She realized she was lucky that Albus folded so easily. Or maybe she wasn't. Thinking back, she was fairly certain it was the portraits that had turned the tide in her favor. Several of the former headmasters had been almost gleeful while she laid out what she wanted to happen. Seeing Vindictus Veridian and Phineas Black scowl when Albus agreed certainly told a tale. The Headmaster was smart, if nothing else. At least Lockhart was out. She hoped she could find a teacher before the headmaster attempted anything else.

Dinner was interrupted by a poltergeist. This was not a normal Peeves interruption though. Instead of zooming in, water balloons full of goo flying, he came in without a prank item at all. He did not make any food fly or start taunting anyone. Peeves did not get into an argument with the twins and did not challenge anyone to a burping contest. No, when Peeved entered, he went directly to the Slytherin table and bowed to the Bloody Baron.

"Peeves is sorry to interrupt, Sir Bloodiness," he said while in his bow. "There is a problem on the second floor. Myrtle is in hysterics. She has flooded the corridor and refuses to leave her toilet."

"This is not entirely new, Peeves," the Baron appeared to be bored. "Why does this make you think you can disrupt the feast?"

Peeves wrung his hands nervously, "Myrtle is not the only one in her bathroom. That Lockhart idiot is there too."

"Did he pass out because he is afraid of ghosts?"

The poltergeist shook his head, "Sire, the Heir is back and Lockhart is his first victim."