WARNING PLEASE READ: This chapter contains self-harm. Unfortunately, this is something a lot of victims go through after experiencing sexual assault and I thought it needed to be brought up. I tried my best to make it less detailed. However, if this is something that will trigger you or make you uncomfortable, don't force yourself to read it.

My hangover had pretty much faded since this morning, but I was still left feeling tired. I chastised myself all night and had to remind myself to never get as drunk as I did yesterday. My friends had given me funny looks earlier too which didn't really make things any better.

I was sitting in my last class for the night and was on the verge of falling asleep until the classroom phone rang. The professor paused his lecture to pick up whoever was speaking on the other end.

"Hello? Yes...yes she is." His eyes flickered to mine, and I straightened myself, tensing up. "No worries. I'll send her down." The old man hung up the phone before nodding towards me. "Ms. Hathaway, please head to Headmistress Kirova's office."

Several pairs of eyes started to land on me, followed by a few whispers as I got up from my seat. I rolled my eyes, taking my bag with me as I wasn't planning on going back to class. I had no idea what Kirova wanted right now, but I was relieved to be able to get out of that boring ass lecture.

I prepared myself on the way to her office, expecting her to scold me on getting drunk—if she even knew about that. Maybe someone else had seen me go into the feeding department...

Instead, she welcomed me in as if nothing was wrong. "Rose! Finally."

"Kirov—headmistress Kirova," I corrected, walking towards her desk. "Am I in trouble?"

"Surprisingly, no," she said. "It seems you've actually been on good behavior lately."

I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. She had no idea. This past week, I had gotten my friends to practice using magic as a weapon, stolen a supply of blood bags, and gotten drunk past curfew. Yikes.

"I actually just called you here to give you these." She pulled one of her desk drawers back and picked up two brown packages. My heart sank. There was more.

I slowly reached out, taking the packages as Kirova handed them to me. Based on the weight, I knew there were more pictures inside one of them. The smaller package was much lighter and seemed to have something small and hard inside.

"Is everything alright?" Kirova asked.

"Yeah. Thanks," I murmured, not even bothering to say goodbye as I walked out of her office. I managed to keep a straight face the entire way to my room as I held the packages against my chest in a tight grip. When I was finally alone, I slammed the door, relieved to find that Lissa wasn't in the room.

I was so frustrated that I tore the bigger envelope open, causing a bunch of pictures to fall out. Just like the first collection I'd received, these were pictures of me—very revealing pictures. I was so disturbed and disgusted that I didn't bother to pick them up and instead moved onto the other package.

I ripped it open, and to my surprise, a USB fell out. I picked it up, running my fingers on the item. Why would they send me this? What was on it? More pictures? Or maybe...maybe it was the documentation from Sebastian's experiments.

I couldn't be sure though, so I sat down at my desk and quickly opened up my laptop. I logged in and plugged the USB in. After a few seconds, the file explorer popped up, revealing the USB device which I clicked on. The files showed up on the screen, revealing several folders which were only named by numbers.

You should probably walk away now, I thought.

I really should have, but like always, I did things without considering the consequences. I clicked on some of the files and let them load up on the screen. Three videos popped up, and now I was even more confused than before. I let one of them play.

All the colour in my face started to drain. It was a video of me, lying nearly unconscious on a bed with bruises all over my body. Someone was hovering over me, kicking me around like a lifeless puppet. I heard some laughter in the video as they went up close, recording my tear-stained cheeks. I paused the video in that moment, realizing that all of the videos were of me. I didn't watch them, but I didn't need to. The thumbnails of the videos already said enough—visuals of me being used, beaten, and a whole lot of other things I didn't want to see.

I couldn't handle it anymore and shut my laptop closed as my hands started to tremble. My tears started to fall relentlessly in heavy sobs, and I started hyperventilating. I couldn't breathe properly. I couldn't focus. All I could feel was the anxiety pulsing through every part of my body as my heart rate increased.

I needed the pain to go away. I needed to feel something. I couldn't control my emotions, but I needed to be in control of at least something.

Don't lose yourself.

Replaying those words in my head, I reached into my bag and pulled out my silver stake. Somehow, I ended up in the washroom and slid to the ground, leaning my back against the counter. I knew what I was about to do was wrong and stupid, but I just had to. I couldn't handle the emotional torment any longer.

I drew my sleeve back and tipped the stake towards my forearm. I held my breath and finally drew a fresh line. I hadn't done this in a long time, and I almost felt like I was betraying myself by falling into the habit again. The stake was agonizing and far more painful than any normal blade, and I threw my head back, crying out in pain. I sat there for a few seconds afterwards, letting myself recover.

And then I did it again. And again, and again, and again. Five minutes later, both of my arms were covered in red streaks. I felt a little relieved, but my cries wouldn't stop. I was about to cut my skin again before the bathroom door suddenly burst open, revealing a very stressed and shocked Lissa.

"Rose!" she screamed, falling to her knees. She yanked the stake out of my hand, throwing it away so that it was far out of my reach. Even if it wasn't that far away, I probably wouldn't have been able to grab it anyways as my vision was starting to darken. I didn't even realize I had bled all over the floor.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" she ranted, scrambling around to find a way to help me.

"Liss...it's okay," I whispered.

"No! None of this is okay!" she yelled desperately. She grabbed one of our towels, quickly pressing them against my wounds to stop the seemingly endless bleeding.

"Lissa, please, I'm sorry. You can't tell anyone. Please."

But she ignored me. Instead, she pulled out her phone and started calling someone as she rushed to my side and wrapped an arm around me. I started to slip out of consciousness, only managing to hear her speak once.

"Dimitri, I need you to come to my room now. Bring others if you can. I need your help—Rose needs your help. Please hurry."

I didn't catch anything else after that as I blacked out in Lissa's arms.

If it was even possible, it actually felt worse waking up now than I did waking up from my hangover. I opened my eyes, blinking a few times and realized I was lying in a hospital bed. Pain radiated from both of my forearms which were wrapped in medical bandages.

I struggled to understand how I had even gotten here and shut my eyes as I started to remember things. I had been in my room, watching those disturbing videos of myself. I remembered the panic attack, cutting my arms with my stake...and then Lissa. Oh god, she had walked in on everything. She had officially seen me in my worst state.

Seeing that nobody was in the room with me, I decided to slip into Lissa's head. I wasn't exactly sure what to expect at this point, but I was a little surprised to find her in Kirova's office. She wasn't alone either. In fact, the room was packed. I could now see Dimitri, Alberta, Eddie, Christian, Adrian, and even my parents. They must have flown in recently, but I wasn't so sure if I wanted them to be here right now. I didn't want them to see me like this.

Kirova looked dumbfounded as she sat on her desk, digging her palms into the edge. "Vasilisa, if what you're saying about Rose is true, then I suppose she doesn't pose a threat."

Great. Now everyone in the room knew about my secret.

"I can assure you she doesn't. She hasn't hurt anyone. She won't hurt anyone," Lissa told her. In front of her were two big envelopes—the same ones I'd received—along with my laptop which still had the USB plugged into the side. Lissa must have seen everything. Maybe Dimitri did too since she had called him when she found me, but I hoped no one else had seen them.

My mother spoke up. "How has she been getting her...blood supply?" she asked, nearly spitting the last two words. It stung a little bit to know how she thought about my transition, but I also couldn't blame her. She had been protecting people from strigoi for more than half her life.

"She's been stealing blood bags from the school. I took some for her too on occasion," Lissa answered honestly.

"That's why our supply was low," Kirova realized. "While I don't condone any of it, I'm glad to hear she hasn't been feeding off of anyone."

"She would never do that," Dimitri added. "I had this talk with her already. She relies strictly on blood bags and nothing else." Beside him, I could see Abe and my mother glance at each other uncomfortably.

Kirova sighed. "Okay, well...we can have her go into the feeding rooms. I can arrange for her to have the same feeder every time to make sure they're both comfortable."

My mother spoke up again, barely hiding her outrage. "You think that's rational? She could kill someone. If she has the same impulses as a strigoi, she might not be able to stop."

"Janine," Dimitri said calmly. "Have some faith. Your daughter has more self-control than I've ever seen in a strigoi—or, half strigoi. Obviously, she gets thirsty, but it's no different from how a moroi would react. If she's drinking blood on a daily basis rather than forcing herself to starve, her impulses will be under control."

"I agree," Eddie chimed in. "The other day, Adrian and I caught her draining three bags—much more than anyone needs in one day. Not only has she been forcing herself to be low on blood, but she's also been cutting down on her food intake."

"She's doing what now?" Abe asked, stepping forward. Since my friends were too timid to say anything to him, Dimitri saved them instead.

"Mr. Mazur, I hate to tell you this, but it's true. I've confronted her about this, but I managed to get her to finally eat something yesterday. Now that this has happened...it's going to be much harder, but I won't give up on her."

Abe looked at Dimitri with something I hadn't seen on him before. Was he proud? Grateful?

"And she listens to you?" Abe asked.

"It takes effort," Dimitri admitted, "but after a while, yes."

"Interesting," Abe said. I thought I could almost see a grin start to form, almost as if he knew there was more to it, but he remained solemn. "Then it's settled. Rose can meet her body's needs everyday. But if it's not too much to ask, I would highly suggest having a guardian accompany her in case something goes wrong."

Kirova nodded. "I was thinking that too. Guardian Belikov and Guardian Petrov can rotate or take her together. If she happens to accidentally take too much, they'll be there to keep things under control."

Someone knocked on the door, diverting everyone's attention. Dr. Olendzki stood in the doorway. "Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know Rose is awake."

"How is she?" Lissa asked, jumping out of her seat. Dimitri and the others followed her, almost crowding around the doorway.

Dr. Olendzki smiled. "I saw her eyes. She's in your head right now."

Ironically, I left her head as soon as she said that. I sat up in the bed, rubbing my eyes as I returned to my own head. My arms may have been wrapped up, but the pain was still there. Being cut with a stake hurt my skin more than any other weapon, and I knew my skin wouldn't heal anytime soon. My fast healing capabilities weren't going to work here.

Footsteps approached my room, and the door opened to reveal Dimitri. I pursed my lips, not quite sure what I was supposed to say to him. Looking down at my wounded arms, I now felt ashamed and embarrassed. I couldn't even make eye contact with him.

There was something off about the way Dimitri was so cautiously approaching me. It was almost as if he thought I would lash out in a split second if he moved too much. "Is it okay if I sit?" he asked, nodding towards the bed.

My brows furrowed together in confusion. "Of course."

"You're not...afraid?" he asked. Now, I was even more confused.

"Why would I be afraid?"

"You don't remember?"

Great. Apparently, something had happened while I was out. I shook my head as he walked over. I moved to the side, giving him some room to sit down.

"What's the last thing you do remember?" he asked, never breaking eye contact. I swallowed nervously as tears threatened to come out again.

"I was in Lissa's arms...she—she called you for help," I said, taking a deep breath as I tried to hold my emotions back. "What happened while I was out?"

"Actually, you were in and out," he said quietly. "You woke up twice. Any time someone tried to come in, you freaked out. Kept screaming at everyone to leave you alone or get out."

My eyes widened in horror. "Did I hurt anyone?"

"No," Dimitri answered. "You tried to, but I held you down. Dr. Olendzki had to sedate you a few times. You seemed so scared."

"That doesn't sound like me," I murmured. I couldn't imagine myself as the type of person to go crazy like that. I didn't even remember it happening.

"Roza..." Dimitri grabbed my hand and held it between both of his, warming my cold skin. "You scared me so much. When I saw you on the bathroom floor..." he shook his head, shutting his eyes. Guilt started to eat away at my insides as I watched him lose his usual demeanor.

I couldn't hold my tears back anymore. "I'm so sorry. If you're angry with me, I get it."

Dimitri lifted his head, hearing the tremor in my voice. "Oh, Roza, no. I could never be angry with you over this. Come here," he said, wrapping an arm around me. He held me tightly, letting me rest my head on his shoulder.

"I didn't mean to worry any of you. I just felt like I was going out of control."

Dimitri rubbed my back. "I know, Roza, I know. I'm not mad at you. None of us are."

"Promise?" I asked.

"Promise," he confirmed. "But I'm not letting you do this to yourself again. I don't care if I have to invade your privacy. If that's what it takes to make sure you're okay, then I'll do it."

"What about Lissa? She shares a room with me too, you know."

"And part of this was also her idea. She's in on this."

I groaned and pulled back. "Did you take my stake away too?"

"Damn straight I did," Dimitri said. "As long as you're within the wards of the academy, you won't need it. And don't ask me where it is, because I won't be giving it back anytime soon."

"Dimitri!" I slapped his shoulder. "That is so not fair!"

"It is if it'll keep you safe," he reasoned. I huffed, knowing he was right but still a little bummed out. While I always felt a little more secure with a stake on me, I had completely misused it by hurting myself.

"Hey," Dimitri said, holding my chin in his hand and tipping my face up. "Don't shame yourself."

"How can I not? You saw those pictures and videos, didn't you?" I shivered just thinking about it. I had myself under control now, but it still disturbed me.

"That isn't your fault, and I didn't watch more than a few seconds. I couldn't. I felt wrong about it. The pictures were all over the floor. Lissa and I saw everything, but we put it away as soon as possible—including the package you were trying to hide under your bed too."

Silence fell as I shut my eyes, realizing just how bad the situation really was. Naked pictures and videos, the panic attack, harming myself until I passed out in Lissa's arms, freaking out in the hospital...

"Why did you hide this from us?" Dimitri asked. "We're trying to figure out who sent them to you. Why didn't you speak up about it earlier?"

"How could I? Those pictures are revolting! I don't even remember them being taken because I was drugged all the time! I didn't want anyone else to see them. I just wanted to forget about it."

"I understand if you didn't want to see them anymore, but this is serious. You can't keep something like this from us, okay?"

I didn't answer him, stubbornly refusing to meet his eyes. I knew he was right, but I often didn't like to admit that. Now that he knew though, there was only one more thing I could tell him and the others—something that could possibly help them track down the rest of my tormentors.

"Dimitri...I know who sent those pictures."

Bit of OOC for Rose, I know. What did you think? I hope it wasn't too much as I did put up two warnings (one in this chapter and one in the last chapter) that there would be self-harm. I definitely intend for things to get better and don't plan for this kind of thing to happen again in the story. Anyways, please leave a review and let me know what you thought.