Last update of the year!

Enjoy…

Because of Her

Chapter 17

So I knew, this was not the end, it was only the beginning of an epic story that was born in the midst of pain, uncertainty, anguish and agony, that now holds great things, better things to live.

If may I tell you myself, I can surely say that, Because of Her, I lived in fullness again.

- Arizona Robbins

Back at the wedding of one of my best friends, I think it's time to go. Those are happy moments, but I am tired for oh so many reasons. I'm about to get up and go home when someone sits next to me, saying...

"Weddings are overrated, don't you think?" The familiar voice takes me almost by surprise, but not so much. Since that conversation in the park months before, she and I have mysteriously gotten along a little better. At least we no longer insult each other every time we see each other and that is progress.

I laugh at her words, because part of me believes in what she says. "But they are beautiful." And the other part remains as romantic tied to traditions.

She shrugged and grunted comically. "If you say so, I think it's a silly way to remain stuck in consumerism. I could use that money to go on a trip for a long period of time and that would make me happy." I like her idea too; a vacation doesn't displease anyone, right?

"Well, that's your idea of happiness. To them," I said pointing to the happy couple. "Happiness is about sharing with their loved ones and that's fine too, Aria." I said calmly, a smile on my lips.

"I should date someone." Suddenly she said and I couldn't help laughing out loud, she clearly had had a glass to many of champagne, otherwise I doubt way too much that this is a topic she would like to talk to with me. So I just sat there and listen. "I was dating this guy, I liked him a lot, handsome, did have a good job and he comes from a good family. One day he just told me that I was 'too strong', can you believe it?" I couldn't answer anything, when she followed. "What the hell does that even mean?" This time she looked at me expectantly.

When I said nothing, she raised her eyebrow in anticipation of my response and I had to laugh again, before I answer. "Well, it means he did you a favor, a man unable to handle your strength, is a man who doesn't deserve to date you." I said honestly. "Never date someone who can't handle your power." I finished and she nodded her head in agreement.

We kept silent for a few seconds, she was still drinking from her champagne glass, which I hadn't even noticed until then, but what came out of her mouth after, definitely took me by surprise. "When are you going to get married?" She asked questioningly.

I narrowed my eyes at that, my heart strangely began to pound more strongly. "Why do you ask me that? What makes you think I'm going to get married?" I asked surprised with her and even more with myself at the urgency of my own voice.

"I thought that was what you wanted." She said calmly as if that answered my questions. The opposite happened, now I had some more.

"Why do you think that?" I frowned and looked directly at her looking for answers.

"Well, she's not married to that woman anymore, that's why I thought ..."

I interrupted her when I heard that. "Wait a minute, who is no longer married to who?" I had to confirm it.

Aria gave me one of her mocking laughs, which made me roll my eyes. "Oh come on, Arizona! Who do you think? My sister, Callie, she is no longer married. They signed the papers weeks ago. I thought you knew." She replied almost surprised with my question.

"Why would I have to know that, Aria? Your sister and I haven't talked for weeks now." I responded annoyed with her assumptions.

Now it was her turn to frown, "But I thought ..."

"You thought what?" I crossed my arms.

"But, wait, you were with her that day, how is it possible that you don't know?" She asks even more confused, just like me with this entire conversation.

"What are you talking about? What day?" Now in addition to confusion, I was intrigued to know what Aria Torres meant.

"Arizona, I'm talking about the day at the Hotel in Los Angeles, Sara was there too." My eyes widened at her words, my hands began to sweat and I could feel the wine glasses getting to my as the growing headache. I didn't say anything at the time; I just let her keep talking. "She found out that Callie was at the hotel and she said she saw you there, as you can imagine, she got angry and thought that my sister had got away with you to that hotel on the beach."

There I felt the need to intervene. "That is not true! I met Callie there by chance, without any intention."

"That was not what Sara said, Estupida mujer." She said that last part between her teeth and from her facial expression I can assume that they were not affectionate words. "Anyway, Sara called her lawyer and threatened to take all of Callie's hotels away, because now she did have proof of her cheating with another woman, you know, going on vacation to one of your own hotels with your mistress and everything. Her words, not mine, I'm sorry." Aria apologized when she surely saw my face of nonconformity when I heard how Sara was referring to me and my relationship with Calliope.

"Don't worry about it, just keep talking." I said quietly, but urging her to tell me everything, apparently I have missed way too many things since the last time I saw her.

"Callie was furious, because of the way Sara was referring to you, for showing up at her hotel and also for wanting to take her hotels, as you can imagine." I nodded and she continued. "What Sara didn't know was that my sister hired someone to follow her, that's how we found out that she had a clandestine relationship with a man Callie had never met, therefore, it was not within the terms of the open marriage thing, and the worst part is that Sara is pregnant, which proves above all, that Sara, being my sister's wife, was unfaithful and not only that, but she's going to have a child out of wedlock." Aria's words were blunt, I could almost hear the satisfaction while telling me what had happened.

"So Sara can't keep what is Callie's?" I asked while feeling the smile on my face. If anything else I was happy for her.

"Exactly! Callie had that information as a beam under her sleeve that she hoped to use days later when they met with the lawyers, but when Sara showed up at the hotel that afternoon, my sister couldn't stand it anymore and said everything. By night Callie's lawyers arrived in LA, including Nicolas and Sara had no choice but to sign the divorce papers accepting the terms that by law correspond to her after a certain period of time being married to my sister, which I still feel bitter about it, if it was up to me I would had let her in the street, but Callie insisted." She ended up saying, still a smile playing on her face.

I remained silent, almost without believing it. I must admit that when she told me she would divorce Sara, a part of me doubted her, because that is what every married person tells their lovers to keep them in line, but hearing that she really did it, leaves me stunned.

"So she really did it." I told no one in particular, as if saying it out loud would make it more real.

"I thought you knew." At her words I looked at her again. "When Nicolas told me that you were there, I thought you were there the whole time and that you were aware, I apologize, I shouldn't have assumed."

I pondered her words and with great pain in my soul, I replied, "Aria, your sister and I are not together." She nodded, understanding what I was saying. "Her marriage was one of the reasons why our relationship didn't work, obviously, but it was not all, although I have to admit that it is a relief to know that she is no longer tied to a person who caused so much harm to her heart, but even so, we are better off without each other."

She took my words into consideration before commenting on, "Well, for what It's worth, even if I hate you, I rather have you as a sister-in-law than that woman." I had to laugh to that, it sounds like something she would say for sure. She smiled at me and continued, "You know, Nicolas keeps talking about you, about the good person you are, I keep telling him that he doesn't know you like I do, but he insists." We laugh once more and I think this it's the first time we laugh together and not at each other. It was nice.

"Just so you know, Callie doesn't know that I know all this. She hasn't wanted to involve anyone in the family, I don't know if it's because she doesn't want to hear an 'I told you so' from my parents or if she just wanted to deal with everything alone." Aria commented a few minutes after the silence between us. "Nicolas had to tell me, he has kept me update with my sister's things, without betraying Callie's trust obviously, but he does let me know how she is, as you should know already, Callie is a very reserved and stubborn person, not willing to accept help from anyone, not even from her younger sister." We both smiled in her statement, because she was right in everything she said.

"Yes, I know how she is." It was all I could manage to say, my body and mind were agitated, I wanted to go home and sleep. I finally got up, ready to say goodbye to my current frenemy, when once again a question coming from her stopped me.

"What stops you now? What stops you from being with my sister now?" She asked standing too in front of me, I could see sincerity and curiosity in her eyes. She really just wanted to know.

"As I said before, her being married to Sara was just one of the reasons why our relationship didn't work out, but it's not the only one." I replied tiredly. "Don't get me wrong, Aria, but I really don't want to keep talking about your sister, I'm trying to move on." I tried to leave, but her next words stopped me again.

"She is here, you know." I turned to look at her, my eyes widened almost with fear, but at the same time with doubt. "I understand what you say, but I thought you should know." She paused, pondering my reaction. "She's here."

I looked at the floor, thinking about what to answer to that information, but really what am I supposed to say? "She's here with Nicolas, isn't she?" I found myself asking almost instinctively.

"Yes, they're here together, but not together - together. They went back to being just friends again." Aria tried to give me a reassuring smile, but I noticed her nervousness, almost as if she feared she had said something inappropriate. I think I like Aria much better with drinks on her system.

I smiled, "I know, Nicolas told me that he is in love and I am happy for him. He deserves it." I said rhetorically. "Have a good evening, Aria, see you on Monday at work." I finally made my farewell and left the hotel event place after saying goodbye to the bride and groom.

However, as soon as I left that room a feeling of anguish and yearning invaded my being, I looked in every corner as I made my way to the long entrance of the hotel and only had one thought. Where is she?... But I think I was terrified at the thought of meeting her again at the same time.

I kept walking, anyone who saw me would think that I was only walking quietly, because on the outside it gave the impression of a collected person, calm, at ease, just walking down the hall; but inside a tumult of emotions, thoughts and memories invaded my mind.

Then I found myself wanting to see her, just a glimpse of her and her beautiful face and that would be enough. I felt like at school all over again when I had my first crush and how nervous I felt just thinking about seeing the girl I liked in the middle of the halls.

I blinked out of that silly trance I was in, I convinced myself that seeing her again would be like stepping back in the little progress I had. I couldn't face her again, I wouldn't resist. I took the fastest exit, the elevator, I indicated the first floor and together with some other people we went down, I was at the bottom of the cubicle, trying to be invisible from everyone around me inexplicably, when the doors were closing I felt a relief, I really thought I had done it.

But ... Yes, there is a but.

When the elevator doors were about to close, someone reached into his hand avoiding complete closure, that was when I saw the reflection of silky black hair.

She entered the same elevator along with Nicolas, I could only see her profile and black hair, but that was all I needed to put my body on fire. My legs were shaking, my hands were sweating, my heart wanted to burst out of my chest, I bit my lower lip trying to control my agitated breathing, she smiled at something Nicolas said and her smile was as beautiful as I remembered. I could hear murmurs of people inside the elevator, but I didn't recognize anything they said, I was just focused on her.

My gaze was only on her. Her hair fell as waterfalls on her back, I found myself wanting to smell it, as well as the thickness of her lower lip, I wanted to take it in my mouth and bite it between my teeth, her long eyelashes that covered the brown of her eyes and I found myself wishing to get lost in them like that last time...

Then the elevator stopped on the 3rd floor, she left as she entered along with Nicolas and only until the doors closed, I could breathe again.

I saw her.

I saw her and although we didn't cross a word, I felt more than just pain when I saw her again. In fact I liked having that glimpse of her, even if I almost had a little panic attack in that elevator. But I liked the fact that nothing else happened, she was there, right in front of me and nothing happened and that was fine.

Months later...

After that day, I decided to take a well-deserved vacation to different places and above all, without hotels that had Calliope Torres as the owner. I felt the need to recharge, to reconnect with myself, to see new horizons, to meet different people, to see new faces.

During this time I allowed myself to give free rein to what had to happen with who had to happen, Aria was in charge of the Clinic in my absence, she was happy at the idea, my friend Jo, was in her newly married life and I was very happy for her happiness, however I considered that it was time for me to find my own happiness, without forcing things, letting everything flow.

In my reconnecting adventure with myself I met different people and characters with their life stories that deserve to be told to the world, I discovered more about myself than I had in several years, I learn about who I am and what I am willing to do to be in a relationship. I understood that being in a relationship does not define you as a woman or as a partner, but instead it seeks to complement a part of your being that is not incomplete, but rather seeks the feeling of being accompanied and supported, then I understood that if it was not under those conditions, then it was not worth it.

I returned to the States a few days ago, with a clear mentality, eager to work with the community and for the community vulnerable by a mental condition.

"My proposal is to take the clinic along and create the first Mental Health Hospital in this district, which would have an emergency service and 24 hours assistance for anyone who has the need regardless of their condition or difficulty, so we won't only depend on the nearby hospital, and the community will know that it can approach us directly to handle whatever it is happening since it is a psychiatric emergency, what do you think, gentlemen?" I asked the members of the Board of the clinic, my smile wide, full of confidence, unable to contain my emotion and enthusiasm for this new project.

"This project, which I would love to be able to develop hand in hand with this clinic that was always on my side, seeks to give people the services and assistance they deserve as we been doing, only more fully this time." I concluded by saying.

"I really like it, Dr. Robbins." Dr. Richard Webber was the first to comment.

"I can definitely see this happen, Dr. Robbins." Another board member commented too. The other members with smiles and heads nods let me know of their approval and enthusiasm with my idea, which swelled my chest with pride.

When I told the good news to my friend Jo and apparently to my also new friend Aria, both were happy and excited. "Tonight we are going to celebrate!" Jo let me know, without accepting a 'No' for an answer, either way, I felt that today had been a great day and every great day deserves a great celebration.

We walk into the bar, after dinner where I was the guest of honor, in addition to Aria and Jo, Amelia Shepard, Teddy Almant and Magguie Pierce also joined. We had a table in the background, I think we were the only scandalous people in the place and we didn't care, we were having fun and it was a long time since I enjoyed this so much.

But don't misunderstand me, in these months, although fun and reaffirming for me, it also gave me time to think about her in a way were her memory was no longer a painful one, I preferred to remember the good things with love and learn from the bad. Her ghost was gone, but her memory was very much still alive.

From time to time I find myself wanting to see her again, to feel her close, to know about her, where she is and what she is doing, other times I can spend days without always having her in my thoughts and that's fine too. Those moments allowed me to meet other people along the way and not see it as something forbidden, ephemeral or inconceivable.

Today, for example, with so much good news and such good people around me, I only had one thought all day. Her.

Her face continues popping up in my mind, her smile continues to warm my heart, the remaining of her hugs continues to keep me near to her. I miss her and I love her, even though she isn't with me right now.

Maybe someday… one day.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I heard someone say, I was sitting at the bar waiting for drinks for me and my friends, lost in my thoughts, so much that I didn't even notice that the drinks were not only in front of me but someone also talking to me.

I looked up and beautiful eyes looked back at me. She moved to serve another drink, but my eyes never left her, I felt the palm of my hands tingle and my skin bristle at the sound of her voice. "Just thinking about all the good things that this day brought me." I said slowly, she smiled at me and I forgot how to breathe properly.

"I heard that, congratulations." She said while smiling widely. I noticed that she was wearing her hair in a loose ponytail, her face lit up only with lipstick and mascara, she wore a white t-shirt and blue jeans. She looked so beautiful that I had to blink several times to confirm that it was indeed her. "From the house." She pointed to the glass of white wine that just served for me. "I hope you still like it." The latter said it almost shyly.

"I still like it, yes." I responded quickly, we looked at each other a little longer until I couldn't help asking. "Now you're a bartender?" In my question we both laughed out loud.

"I was wondering when you were going to ask that question." She began by saying, "What can I say? I am a business woman, I always look for new business. This is my bar." Her face lit up with a huge smile, which made me smile in return. She leaned over the bar, placing her elbows on the stylized wood piece before saying, "It's good to see you again, Arizona."

I also leaned over the bar, our faces millimeters away, I recognized the scent of her perfume immediately and saw the piece of jewelry that fell between her breasts behind the fabric of her shirt, her hair falling to the side, to that distance I could easily see the freckles on her nose, I never saw something so cute and sexy at the same time.

As I approached her, I didn't feel fear or anguish, it was more like anxiety and readiness to know what would happen next. Her lips were narrowed, her eyes hooded, dark and eager. I could feel the closeness, the attraction, the longing ... the longing for something else, for something better. I finally responded when I found my voice again...

"It's good to see you again too, Calliope."