Ch. 20: In Our Element

"…And then I died!" Naruto flung his arms out dramatically, knocking over one of the twenty-three flower vases surrounding my hospital bed—tribute from my fan club.

Sakura, Kakashi, and I had spent the night after our battle in the hospital wing. We were healthy enough to escape in the morning, which is why Naruto had been given the B-rank mission of keeping us trapped in the room until we were officially discharged.

We all considered Naruto's story. Sakura toyed with the teddy bear her parents had dropped off. "Do you think he was just a regular genjutsu user, or did he maybe have…the Sharingan?"

"That's impossible," I said. "Itachi killed all the other Sharingan users."

Sakura said. "It's not like bloodline theft never happens."

"It doesn't happen to the Uchiha," I said. "Most of us never even left the village. The only Sharingan thief is Kakashi."

Kakashi adjusted his headband, eye darting around nervously. "Naruto did say that he only saw the one eye. Could it possibly be…? But no, no. That seems out of character for me."

Naruto paced the perimeter of our room, watching for any sign that we would make a break for it. A second Naruto, posted at the window, said, "What about that Obito guy?"

"Who?" Sakura and Kakashi said in unison.

""Y'know, the one who gave his eye to Kakashi as a present?" Naruto said.

"Tobi did know Kakashi's name when no one ever said it," Sakura said, stroking the teddy bear's head as her mind worked.

"Obi-to-bi-to-bi-to-bi-to," Kakashi said. "They do sound awfully similar when you say them back to back and really fast."

I said, "Wasn't he crushed to death under an avalanche of boulders?"

"I don't remember digging him out," Kakashi said. "In retrospect, the injuries may not have been that serious. Maybe he was gonna be fine."

"WHAT?!" Sakura and all the Naruto clones shouted.

"What," I said flatly.

Kakashi watched a woodpecker attack a tree just outside the window. "I did say that neither of us were medical ninja."

"He gave you his Sharingan," I said. That was a really big deal, probably a bigger deal than cutting out your own eye.

The bird took flight as Kakashi shrugged. "Obito was never very bright."

Our conversation was cut short when Kakashi used the replacement jutsu to switch positions with the woodpecker and escape the hospital room. The Narutos raced after him. I calmly got out of bed, nodded to a twitching Sakura, and dived out the window.

Sakura and I were just about evenly matched in a basic spar. That didn't offend me too much, since taijutsu was her specialty…or one of her specialties. Her usually blatant eye movements were hidden by the Mist hunter nin mask, which forced me to pay more attention to her body language. Also, she kept swinging her monstrous sword at me. That probably counted as an advantage.

Sakura dug her sword into the ground to say, "Kakashi-sensei…and Naruto…you're late!"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, I know. When I finally caught Kakashi this morning, he was helping to put out the fire at the Hokage Tower. And then the Anbu asked me to help, and by then, Kurenai and Asuma had chased the old man all down the street. There were cabbages everywhere…Uh, you did hear about them trying to assassinate him this morning, right?"

"Hn." There was something really sweet about Mirai's parents setting the village on fire to protect their child. My mother used to do the same thing, although on a slightly smaller scale.

Sakura pushed up her mask. "Has the Hokage decided if it's treason yet?"

"He's still thinking about it," Naruto said.

I hoped that the Hokage would forgive them, but that was a dangerous sentiment to say out loud.

Kakashi said, "As I watched them tag-team a god, with Asuma's air jutsu feeding Kurenai's fire, I realized that you guys should probably find out your elemental affinity."

"I've been meaning to ask about that," Sakura said. "Ino learned hers way back in her first week as a genin."

Kakashi looked at her, her brow furrowed slightly. "That's when everyone's supposed to do it. We're very late on this. That's…sort of a problem our team has."

Killer intent emanated off of Sakura. She pursed her lips. "You don't say?"

He shrugged. "I was surprised, too, but it's in all our evaluations."

Kakashi withdrew three sheets of paper from his flak jacket's pocket. When we channeled chakra into the paper, its response would tell us our elemental affinity.

"Just one last warning before you begin," Kakashi said. "This is Fire Country, and I've seen teams where every member has an affinity for fire. That's really boring. Try not to get fire."

Sakura's paper burned to ash.

Kakashi patted her on the head. "I forgive you."

Our sensei then turned to me. "Sasuke, don't be a disappointment."

My paper wrinkled. I said, "Lightning."

Kakashi sighed. "I've always thought of lightning as fire that comes from the sky. Your turn, Naruto. Try to get water. I've never seen that in Konoha."

The paper split in two.

"What's that mean?" Naruto said.

"Wind," Sakura said.

"That sounds wimpy," Naruto grumbled.

"Actually, it's pretty rare," Sakura said.

Once again, Naruto had been gifted with a unique and powerful talent and immediately insulted it.

Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.

"Uh, sensei?" Naruto said.

"Kids, I'm not disappointed. I'm just angry."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "I don't suppose you're going to teach us any elemental jutsu?"

"I don't really teach. It's not that I'm bad at it; I just don't want to," Kakashi said. "I'd suggest bothering someone else. Pretty much anyone can teach Sakura fire, but Asuma is the only wind user in Konoha. If you hurry, Naruto, you can probably work teaching you stuff into his probation. Assuming he hasn't committed treason."

"I'll go check." Naruto pulled out a kunai and popped himself.

I said, "And lightning?"

Kakashi's hands crackled with lightning as he started giggling. "I know just the man."

As I approached the new training ground carved out by Kakashi's recent fight, Rock Lee performed a series of flips to land in front of me. "Ah! Back again to challenge me, I see."

I stepped around an undetonated clay bird. "No."

"Surely you wish to recover the reputation you lost when I defeated you during the Chuunin Exams," Lee said.

"That was six months ago," I said. "Besides, if I really cared, I'd probably go fight Shino."

Lee's eyes gleamed, and he raised a fist skyward. "My eternal rival, Shino Aburame, is reluctant to accept challengers. Though I visit him every day, he has never agreed to a rematch."

That was probably because Shino knew that Lee would destroy him.

Tenten, who had just won her spar with Neji, playfully tossed a shuriken at Lee's bug-like eyes. "What ever happened to Neji being your eternalrival?"

Lee plucked the kunoichi's shuriken out of the air and leapt onto a fallen tree. "Shino is a cold-hearted clan ninja who has never had to work hard for greatness—"

"So, like Neji?" Tenten said with a teasing smile as she helped dislodge the weapons pinning Neji to a tree trunk.

"Much like Neji," Lee said. "But Neji has grown far more humble lately."

Neji hopped atop Tenten's weaponry to safely cross the training ground. He stopped in front of me. "I have you to thank for that."

"Hn?"

"When you were kicking me in the face repeatedly, I had a sudden epiphany," Neji said. "I realized that life is just getting kicked in the face again and again and again, and the only people who can help you up afterwards are your comrades and clan."

That seemed like a really profound thing to gain from my thrashing him in front of a stadium of spectators.

Neji's bloodshot eyes grew serious. "Admittedly, that idea may have formed later, when I was in the hospital. I have a lot of memory loss from that day, due to all those times you kicked me in the face…Nevertheless, I feel far better about my position in life now."

"You look terrible," I said. "Should I take credit for that, too?"

Neji's jaw clenched, emphasizing his protruding cheekbones and the shadows on his pale face. "Of course not. It's been six months since my defeat."

I smirked. "It was a pretty embarrassing defeat."

"Not that embarrassing," he ground out.

"Then why the Shinigami look?" I said.

Neji closed his bloodshot eyes. "Hinata has taken up puppetry. I've been told your sensei is to blame for this."

I nodded.

"She sends the puppet to patrol at night, even though we've all asked her to stop"—Neji's smile was grim—"I don't think she trusts us."

"Didn't you try to kill her that one time?" I said.

Neji growled. "It was more of an assisted suicide. She kept defying her fate by getting back u…"

Tenten rapped him on the shoulder with a kunai handle. "Uh, Neji?"

"Right. The point is that her puppet crawls through the compound, dragging its body from room to room. I don't think Hinata sleeps anymore. The rest of us certainly don't."

"Creepy," Tenten said.

"That is indeed quite frightening," Lee agreed.

"Have you considered burning it?" I said.

"Yes," Neji bit out. "It kept hissing and—"

"Ha ha! A sneak attack! What do you do now?" Gai shouted as he threw a flurry of shuriken at us and tried to kick me in the face. I rolled, accidentally activated one of the scattered explosives, and took cover behind a fallen tree.

Gai stood tall, arms akimbo, as the explosion erupted behind him. "What a fiery group we have today."

"Gai-sensei, that was so cool." Lee watched him, starry-eyed.

Gai's face brightened like a forehead protector in the sun, and he raced to hug his younger double. "Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

Tenten shook her head, her eyes pinched with amusement. "Every single morning."

At least their sensei arrived on time, even if he had his eccentricities. Gai's ever-present smile wasn't polite like Sakura's or manic like Naruto's or possibly nonexistent like Kakashi's. It seemed genuine, like he was happy all the time. That sort of heavy-handed emotion didn't seem natural to me. Maybe he'd spent some time in T&I.

"My eternal rival, Kakashi Hatake," Gai said, "has cashed in on a favor I owe him. I do not remember owing him the favor. But I am convinced that he would not lie about such a thing."

Kakashi would absolutely lie about such a thing. I expressed my skepticism with a snort.

"I have agreed to teach you a lightning jutsu. Kakashi suggested the Lightning Dragon Tornado, which combines air and lightning chakra to create a life-sized dragon."

I leaned against a downed tree. "That sounds impressive."

"That it does! Tragically, I do not know that technique, and though I have asked every ninja in Konoha, it seems that no one in the village does. Besides, I prefer to use my elemental nature to strengthen my taijutsu skills. I shall teach you the lightning blade kunai cutter technique."

"I don't know it." I trailed my fingers against the rough bark, committing each ridge to memory.

Gai looked thoughtfully upwards. "It was originally developed by my eternal rival, but I recreated it on a bet. I swore that, if I couldn't replicate the technique in two weeks, I would run around Konoha six times on my hands. Three months later, I had it!"

Gai plucked one of Tenten's kunai from the grass. He trailed it across his heavily calloused hands.

"The jutsu sharpens the kunai's blade. They say that it's so sharp that it could cut a strand of hair in two"—Gai held up Neji's flowing locks as an example—"But, as always, they are heavily exaggerating. Ha ha ha ha!"

I didn't want to learn that jutsu because I was really bad at using kunai, but I didn't want to express that idea aloud because Gai would probably force me to practice. Instead, I picked up one of Tenten's fallen weapons. "Generally, I prefer shuriken."

Gai's smile shone. "In that case, I will teach you the Lightning Flash, which infuses a shuriken with electricity. If I fail, I swear I'll scale the Hokage Mountain with one arm and both legs tied behind my back!"

On the one hand, I wanted to learn the jutsu. But, on the other hand, I really wanted to see that. It took an embarrassingly long second to decide that I had more self-respect than Naruto and wouldn't feign stupidity for trivialities.