Cleaning Up

ROLAND: Roland's log, Day… oh who cares anymore? It's been a few days since we raided the armory and killed Knoxx, and plenty has happened since then, mostly mopping up the remnants of the invasion force and fixing a few more issues in the area.

MORDECAI: So much loot man! So much loot!

ROLAND: And we got to raid the armory two more times, using the same trick we did before. We're very happy at the moment.

BRICK: I've maxed out my storage at Moxxi's weapon bank, because there's so much good shit I just can't carry it all!

ROLAND: Right, so, first thing we did after raiding the armory is finish blowing it up like Athena wanted us to. To our surprise though no more Lance showed up.

LILITH: I guess killing their general and blowing up all their stuff spooked them so hard they gave up.

ROLAND: Nearest I can tell, she's right. On the way back to T-Bone we stopped by one of the broken road-blocks to doodle on the wanted posters they had there. That was fun. Also to make fun of the assassin teams that all failed to kill us. I forgot to mention them, didn't I?

MORDECAI: They weren't much of a threat, so I don't think it mattered. No offense Athena.

ATHENA: None taken. I never developed a connection with the other teams, so I do not care much that they are dead.

MORDECAI: Brutal but honest.

ROLAND: When we got back we thanked Athena for her help, and she thanked us for our help. Thanks all around. Then Marcus called us up and said that he'd bought the remains of the armory for super cheap and found that there were more weapons stored in there we didn't get to beforehand. Naturally we wanted at them, but he wanted us to go kill a bunch more Crimson Lance before he'd let us inside. And as luck would have it, the Lance were running a recruitment drive out near the Sunken Sea.

LILITH: So, question about that… why did they just let us in? They had to have known who we are, right?

ROLAND: Oh they did, but they were doing it intentionally. They wanted to lure us in with the promise of a reward in hopes they could overwhelm us with sheer numbers and get revenge for the damage we caused. Not their best plan.

MORDECAI: We butchered them, man! Dozens of them all at the same time! It was epic!

BRICK: I blew up an APC using the gas tank of one of their badasses. I am accomplished.

ROLAND: Once we exhausted their supply of troops they gave up and forced us to go away, but we'd already killed plenty of them to satisfy Marcus, so we went down to raid the armory again. On the way there we were asked by Dahl, of all people, to plant spying equipment on a Lance outpost's radio gear so they could track their messages. Probably planning for a counter invasion or something, I don't know. To get up to the outpost though we had to restart the gondola that leads up to the bluff tops, and for some reason the midgets had stolen that and hid it amongst a bunch of trash.

LILITH: I swear, I hate midgets now. For so many reasons.

MORDECAI: Welcome to the club, Lils.

BRICK: We've got hats and t-shirts.

LILITH: Wait, seriously?

BRICK: Yep. Though all we have in your size is a crop top

LILITH: Oh. Of course.

ROLAND: While we were rampaging through midget territory we found a signal transponder that connects to the dashboard of a Lancer, which Mordecai realized might allow us to find some of the… 'mythical' Lost Lewts of the initial Lance invasion force which took over Pandora from Dahl years ago.

MORDECAI: You know what else I hate? Drifters! Those damn bastards would leave us alone while we were searching for the chests!

ROLAND: Their acid did serious damage to the Lancer APC, but luckily Lilith in her Monster was able to blow them away. Meanwhile Brick was doing a job for Moxxi. What was that job again, Brick?

BRICK: Do a loop-de-loop in the Racer on a loop ramp the bandits set up.

LILITH: Why did they set that up at all though?

BRICK: Everybody wants to be badass, Lils, even the bad guys.

LILITH: Eh, true enough.

ROLAND: After we located all the lost chests we continued on to the armory, which was again being guarded by Lance. Apparently they were defaulting to guarding their owned locations without a CO to guide them. Fighting through them was easy, barely a challenge. After that, we got to loot the armory in full a second time, with Marcus none the wiser about our little trick.

[collective cheer]

ROLAND: The next day Marcus told us there was even more gear in the armory, this time from Lance literally selling him their remaining stock in return for a promise from us not to go raiding them again. Then Marcus told us he'd let us raid them again after we went up north to clear out the remaining midgets and bandits. That took most of the day to do, mostly because there were so many midgets spread out all over the place up there.

LILITH: My hatred has not decreased.

MORDECAI: Nor mine.

BRICK: I like stomping on their heads. They explode like grapes.

LILITH: Ew.

ROLAND: While on the way down to the armory for our final looting Moxxi called us up for a quick favor to remove some graffiti bandis were putting up making fun of her. Though given the things they were saying, I think Moxxi wanted the stuff gone so she could be the one to market it for herself.

MORDECAI: Yeah, she's classy like that.

LILITH: Uh huh. Classy. That's definitely the word I'd choose.

MORDECAI: Shut up, Lilith.

LILITH: Make me lover boy.

ROLAND: The final raid on the armory was almost sad. There were so few Lance left they barely put up a fight. Some of them even surrendered to us outright when they saw us, which we didn't know how to deal with at first.

BRICK: I wanted to punch 'em, just a little bit for being douchebags, you know?

LILITH: Not the most constructive thing in the world, Brick.

BRICK: I don't construct, Lils, I destruct. With malice.

ROLAND: I spoke with the ranking officer of the lot, a lieutenant named Reiss, and just told him to take his squad to New Haven and ask for sanctuary there. There was a brief confusion as they thought I meant the city of Sanctuary, but they figured it out eventually. After that was one more raid on the armory, with all the precious loot that entails, and we had done everything T-Bone Junction has to offer. From here, I think we'll take some time off and enjoy our loot and money. Technically speaking none of us ever need to work again a day in our lives.

MORDECAI: Yeah, but where's the fun in that?

ROLAND: True enough. This is Roland, signing out.