A/N: lemon alert.

Happy reading!

23. Teenage Dream

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

- Teenage Dream, Katy Perry

The two weeks at camp go by quickly. I fall in love with teaching the kids how to draw, the way their faces light up when they get it is just so pure. I now understand more of what Ms. Cope feels every day, and it makes me want to do this forever.

Edward and I talk every night while I try to be quiet, so I don't wake up my roommate. He's been working at the restaurant a lot and spending time with our friends and working on some of his carvings. Every time we talk, it makes me homesick. I also keep myself busy making his birthday present. Edwards's eighteenth is a few days after I get home from camp. It helps to have something to keep me busy at night when all the other campers are asleep and my mind's too busy to do so myself.

While I miss home, when it comes time to leave, I hate to go. Dad does his usual stop for dinner and sightseeing. In the past this has been something that I've enjoyed, but this year's different. I'm anxiously eager to get home. Every time I try to hurry things along, he just stares at me, and I swear he goes slower.

Mom gives me a sympathetic look.

We get back to Cary late, around midnight. Emmett's passed out on the couch when we come in, a movie playing on the TV. I hit on the back of his big head to let him know we're home and so he can take his ass upstairs.

I leave my suitcase in the car, not having the energy to carry it up the stairs tonight. Once I've said goodnight to my parents and have locked myself in my room, I call Edward, burrowing into the covers.

"Hey," his bright, sleepy voice answers. I can hear the smile in his voice. "I thought you were getting back earlier."

I groan, "Dad felt the need to stop at every tourist trap he could find on the way back."

He laughs, the sound warming me.

"I just wanted to call and let you know I was back." I chew on my lip, feeling the same anxiousness I had all day. I want to see him, to touch him.

"I'm glad you did," I can hear the same longing in his voice. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

"How was it?"

"Amazing. I'll tell you all about it when I see you tomorrow?" I don't want to hang up, but my body is exhausted.

"Tomorrow," he agrees. "Hey, Bella."

"Yeah?" I ask, my eyes already slipping closed.

"I love you."

I smile sleepily into my pillow. "I love you."

I sleep until early afternoon. Our parents have gone by the time I come out of my room, freshly showered and wearing my camp t-shirt and shorts. Emmett's in his room playing video games but will probably be going Charlotte's once she gets off work.

The doorbell rings as I'm coming down the stairs. Edward's on the other side wearing a t-shirt and cargo shorts. He's smiling as soon as I have the door open. We were only apart for two weeks, but it felt like an eternity.

"Hi," I say, leaning against the door, my own smile taking over my face.

"Hi." He leans down to kiss me and I meet him halfway.

It starts out sweet and innocent enough, but quickly heats up. His arms wrap around my waist, pulling me close; I play with the hair at the back of his neck, as our tongues meeting. One of his hands travels down my back, getting dangerously close to touching my butt. And I want him to. But he pulls away instead at the sound of my brother's pounding footsteps on the stairs.

"You two really need to get a room." Emmett teases as he walks by us to go to the kitchen. Like he and Charlotte aren't as bad.

"Do you want to get out of here?" Edward asks in my ear.

I nod.

We go to the McCafé we came to years ago. So many things have changed since then. This time I'm not a nervous fourteen-year-old girl. This time there's no elephant between us. This time, I'm not the only one dipping my fries in barbecue sauce; which makes me smile more than it should.

The rest of the afternoon is spent at my house in my pool. Edward's already in the water when I come out of the back door after changing into my bikini. He's changed into the swim trunks he's been keeping in his car. I jump into the pool, the cool water a stark contrast to the hot, humid North Carolina air.

Edward pulls me to him when I surface, wrapping my legs around his waist.

"Are you doing anything for your birthday?" I ask as we wade in the water, enjoying the closeness.

He lets out a sigh, shrugging. "Not really."

"Really? Nothing at all?" I can't comprehend not having plans for my birthday. My parents always went all out for Emmett and me on our birthday. They still would if we were into that kind of thing still.

He shrugs again, "Birthdays aren't a big deal in my house."

"Wait, have you ever had a party? At least tell me you had a cake."

"Why are you making this a big deal?"

"Because it is."

"I take it you always had a party?"

I smile, thinking about all the parties that my parents planned over the years. "Yeah, our parents went all out every year. There was Chuck E. Cheese and circus theme one year." The circus theme hadn't been my favorite, in fact it had been rather traumatizing. I spent most of the time hiding in the house because I was afraid of the clown that they'd hired for the party. "It's your birthday, a day that should be all about you. You deserve to be happy."

He kisses me, tasting like chlorine. "I am happy."

Dad comes home early from the restaurant with dinner. Emmett's gone out with Charlotte, leaving Edward and I alone with my dad. We keep it family appropriate at the dinner table, but Edward's pinkie draws patterns on my knee where no one can see.

"So, what exactly are we doing?" Claire asks the next day. I've dragged her into the Party City in Crossroads Plaza with me. Alice and Rose are MIA today, neither of them answered when I texted this morning, so it's just the two of us.

I grip the cart I'm pushing down an aisle with pinatas lining it a little harder. I haven't given her any details, mainly because I don't know what I'm doing. All I know is that I can't let Edward's eighteenth birthday pass without a party.

"Edward's birthday is tomorrow." I reply, coming to a stop in front of a Dora the Explorer pinata.

"Okay," she says standing on the end of the cart. I try not to cringe.

"He's not planning on doing anything."

"What?" Claire asks, looking at me like I have two heads. "Mr. McHottie's mom isn't planning anything? Isn't this the big one-eight?"

"That's what I said," I sigh, feeling overwhelmed with all of the stuff around me. "Apparently, birthdays aren't really celebrated at his house. I don't think he's ever had a party."

"You're kidding?" Claire insists.

"I wish I was."

She steps off the cart, making it tip forward for a second, her hands going to her hips. "That's wrong on so many levels. We can't let that happen."

"I'm glad to see we're on the same page."

"What are you thinking?" she asks, hands still on her hips, looking and sounding like one of those designers on HGTV. When Claire gets passionate about something, she can be a bit intense. I know she doesn't try to, but she does have a tendency to take over.

I shrug, still overwhelmed by the sheer number of things in this store, having no idea where to start.

"Okay," she says, looking over the shelves. Her eyes train on the Dora the Explorer pinata in front of us, picking it up. "I don't care what we do, as it involves my friend Dora, here."

I look at the pinata, then back at her. "Why?"

"I don't know. It's silly and stupid." She shrugs.

I sigh, unable to say no to the excited look on her face. "Okay."

"Yes!" she puts Dora in the part of the cart that a child is supposed to sit, skipping, rather Alice like, out of the aisle.

We scour the store, going up every aisle. We get every color of streamer and balloons. Claire tries to get me to buy the discounted graduation stuff, saying: "It's festive and on sale." When I tell her that he's not graduating, her response is that he will someday. I tell her no, but when we're going up the aisle with all things Spongebob Squarepants, I see some of the graduation cups and banners in the cart. I just roll my eyes.

Since he's never really had a birthday party, we get a little of everything that a boy would've loved growing up. Power Rangers, Spongebob, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, it all goes in the cart. The longer we're in the store, the more excited I am about the whole thing. I just hope he likes it.

"How was camp?" Claire asks as we stand in line to check out.

"I loved every second. All the kids were great." I leave out the part about me having fallen in love with teaching them, because it feels a little too personal to share. At least right now. "What did you while I was gone?"

"Alice and I hung out with Jasper's band, watching them practice. They're getting really good." The subject of Claire having a past with Paul hasn't come up since the party in March, but the way that she says this so casually tells me that watching the band practice is more than having a friend in the band.

I smile, "So, you've seen Paul, then?"

She scoffs at my insinuation, but it loses something when she blushes. "I've seen Paul in the way of he's in my friend's band."

"So, you've been hanging around only because of the music?" I press, loving the fact that I'm able to make her squirm.

"It's not the only reason. He asked if I could take pictures of them practice."

"He who?" I taunt.

"Shut up, Swan. We're next." She says, pulling the end of the cart up to the waiting cashier.

Claire talks to the guy behind the counter, flirting a little, probably trying to prove to me that nothing's going on with her and Paul. I stand there watching the total rise, trying not to think about how badly I'm about to drain my bank account.

Three hundred dollars in Party City later, we head to Lowes Foods to stock up on junk food before heading back to my house to unload it all and start setting everything up. We decorate the dining and living rooms, putting up all the different colored streamers and starting to work on the balloons.

When my parents walk in later in the evening, they take one look around, shaking their heads.

"I don't need to know." Dad says, going up the stairs.

Rose and Alice come over later in the evening after they get off work to help us finish setting up. Claire hangs the, now filled to brim, Dora the Explorer pinata in the doorway leading to the dining room.

Since we finished so late, the girls stay over, and we sleep in the next day. Alice texts our friends to come over, telling them what's going on. I wrap Edward's present and put it on the dining room table.

I wait on my porch for him to arrive, nervous because I don't know what his reaction's going to be. When he pulls into my driveway, I take a deep breath. Here goes.

"Hi," he greets me, wearily. I'm never waiting for him on porch.

"Hi," I reply, fidgeting with the bottom of my shirt. "I may have done something."

"What?" he raises a brow at me, even more suspicious than he was before.

"Just close your eyes," I tell him, waiting for him to comply.

I take his hand and lead him into my house. "You're not peeking, are you?"

"No. Bella what's going on?" he asks, his left hand over his eyes.

Alice gives me a thumbs up telling me they're all ready.

"You can open your eyes now." I tell him.

As soon as he can see, all our friends yell surprise. Edward looks around wide-eyed, taking everything in. All the decorations, our friends wearing party hats, everything. He doesn't say anything right away, he just stands in my foyer absorbing everything.

"I know you said you weren't planning anything, but I just… I couldn't let you not celebrate…" I trail off when his bloodshot eyes meet mine.

"Bella," is all he's able to get out.

"Happy birthday?" I say sheepishly, not expecting this reaction at all. He looks completely and totally overwhelmed.

"Well," Claire comes over to us, putting her arm around my shoulders. "I think we should start with pin the tail on the donkey. That is a staple." She gives me a squeeze and Edward a smile.

He laughs despite the tears that have pooled in his eyes. "Sounds good to me."

We spend most of the afternoon and into early evening at my house, eating way too much junk food. There's pizza and a cake that Rose helped me make because she's the only decent baker among us. I don't think that I've ever seen Edward laugh as much as I have today, and it makes me feel good. And when I give him his present, a painting of us from when he took me to my eighth grade formal, he gives me a kiss that takes my breath away.

Edward's dad calls in the middle of us all playing a game. He walks away from the group to take the call. He's smiling and laughing the entire time they talk. It makes my heart ache, because his mom didn't seem to care all that much about his birthday, but his dad took the time out of his day to call his son.

How can two parents be so different?

"I'm really sorry about your shirt," I apologize, again, as he unlocks his front door. I had gracefully knocked over my glass of fruit punch while we were all playing Sorry. We'd come to his house so he can change before we go to the movies.

He brings our intertwined hands to his lips, kissing the back of my hand. "It's just a shirt. I…" Edward starts to say something else, but his mom walks into their foyer, already talking to him.

"Edward, I have a work engagement that I have to get to. Carlisle's is stuck at the restaurant, so it's just you for dinner tonight." She's typing away on her phone, not even seeming to realize that I'm here with him. It reminds me of the day that she didn't look up from her computer when he said we were going to McDonald's, telling him to get a twenty from her wallet.

Esme finally takes a moment to look at her son, her eyes zeroing in on the very large stain of fruit punch all over the front of his shirt.

"What happened to you?" Esme looks him over, from the stain on his shirt, his hand in my, and finally on me. And she doesn't look happy.

"That was my fault. I spilled it on him." I explain, feeling guilty all over again.

"It was an accident, Mom." Edward tells her, cool as cucumber under her scrutiny.

I feel like I'm seeing something that I shouldn't as they look at each other with equally blank looks. Has this ice always been there, or is it new?

Esme finally relents, letting out a heavy breath. "I'll be back later." She tells him, putting her phone in her purse.

As she walks to the door, I swear I hear her say "what else would I expect", but that could be my imagination.

Edward watches her close the door behind her, shaking his head. "I'm going to go change." He says, not saying anything about the odd exchange that I just witnessed.

"Okay."

I stay where I'm standing at the banister as he starts up the stairs, still trying to figure out what I just saw. It was so weird. I've never seen parent and their kid interact with each other like that.

Edward starts up the stairs, stopping a few steps up, looking back at me. "You can come up if you want."

I swallow thickly, nervous all sudden. We've been alone before, but never in his room.

"Okay." I say, following him up the stairs and down the hall.

I've never been in his room before, but it's what I expect. There are a few Lakers posters on his walls, along with some old movie posters. Unlike the rest of the house, it isn't immaculately clean. Clothes and shoes are in piles on his floor. His desk is covered with books, papers, and half-finished carvings, as well as his laptop. Over top of his dresser, that's covered in old trophies, is a flat screen TV that I swear is bigger than the one in my living room at home.

But it's his bed that keeps catching my attention, even though I really try not to stare. It's massive, way too big for one person, and looks like a cloud covered in dark grey bedding. It's the only part of his room that's neat, a contradiction to the chaos that's going on in the rest of the space. It doesn't make sense.

"Mom and I have an agreement," Edward speaks, finally making me drag my eyes from the monstrosity. "This is my space to do what I want with, but sometimes she can't help herself." He nods to the bed, making me blush at being caught. But it now makes sense why his bed is neatly made.

"Oh," I reply, not knowing what else to say. I've seen a whole new side to his relationship with his mom today and I'm having a hard time comprehending it all.

He looks at the bed one more time, before turning away from me without a word, starting to remove his shirt.

I've seen with his shirt off so many times, but there's something intimate about watching him remove his t-shirt when we're alone in his room, that it's impossible not to watch. The smooth, pale skin of his back being slowly exposed. The way the muscles move under his skin. He disposes his ruined shirt in the hamper, taking a white undershirt out of his dresser and putting it on.

Edward sits on the edge of his bed, arm stretching toward me so I can take his hand. And I do, letting him pull me down on the bed beside him. He brings me with him as he lays back against the mattress, our bodies side by side with my head on his chest.

"Thank you for today." The look on his face takes my breath away. He's looking at me like I'm the most precious thing he's ever seen, and it makes my heart swell.

"You're welcome." I smile softly. "I'm happy you had a good birthday."

"It was the best." He smiles down at me.

I burrow my face his chest further not knowing what else to say.

We lay in silence for several minutes. His eyes are closed, breathing even to the point that I think he's asleep. But then his fingers start to stroke down my arm. The touch feather light, up and down on the skin from my shoulder to my elbow over and over. Then my arm becomes my side, his fingers exploring down along my ribs to my waist. I bring myself closer, my body feeling restless. He still hasn't moved, eyes still closed. My breathing is getting deeper the farther down his fingers go. He finds the sliver of skin exposed between my t-shirt and shorts, stroking softly.

My leg tightens itself around his, goosebumps erupt on my skin. My entire body is buzzing, and I can't keep still any longer. I place soft, unhurried kisses on his neck, causing him to let out a breath through his nose.

My next kiss is behind his ear, sucking softly on the skin there. Edwards's fingertips tease their way under my shirt, venturing further under the fabric the more I kiss and nibble on the skin of his neck.

It's when I nip on his jaw that he lets out a loud groan. The hand that's fully under my shirt now, hooks around my waist, bringing me on top of him, knees on either side of his hips. I gasped in surprise at the movement, looking down at him. His eyes aren't closed anymore, they're looking right into mine, heavy-lidded and lust laden.

Apparently, he's grown tired of our game, because his hands thread themselves into my hair, bringing my face down to his. His lips consume mine, tongue invading and dominating my mouth in a way he never has before.

I whimper into his mouth, just as lost as he is, wanting more, more, more. I'm burning and aching as my lips take just as much from him as he is from me. My hips grind into his, unabashed, unlike the first time we were like this on his couch.

"What are we doing?" he gasps out, gripping my hips as he moves with me. His face is flushed, eyes glazed over and half out of this world.

"I don't know," I admit. "I just… I need… something." I don't know when I got this brave. I never thought I'd be so brazen with things like this. But my body keeps moving and nothing's ever felt this good.

He gulps, gasping for air. He nods at me, but I have no idea what it means. In the next second, he's rolled so I'm under him, hips resting between my thighs.

My heart is thundering in my chest, and I can't tell if it's from excitement or apprehension. The air feels heavier, like it's humming with electricity.

"Edward," I whisper, our eyes locking.

Suddenly, it's like a switch been flipped. Our mouths crashing together, fighting to get his shirt over his head, becoming a tangle of limbs on the mattress. I arch my head back as his lips kiss along my jaw and down my neck, his hands making their way underneath my shirt, moving along my stomach toward my chest. My shirt follows his onto the floor.

He tears his lips from my neck to find my eyes, fingering the edge of my bra. "May I?"

I nod, both of us sitting up on the bed. I lean forward so he can take my bra off. The last time that he saw me without a shirt on, I had a bra still covering me; this is the first time he's seeing my breasts in all their glory and I'm nervous. He's never expressed any discontent with the size of my boobs but seeing them without them being held and supported into place has my heart pounding like I've just finished running the mile in gym class.

My boobs are the one thing that I'm super self-conscious about. They aren't like the models in the magazines, they droop, like a grandma's, because they go straight down, which means I never go without a bra or else they'll look like two tennis balls in tube socks stuck to my chest. I envy my friends who are able to go without bras and you can't tell. Their boobs are actually perky and stay where they're supposed to and don't look geriatric like mine.

"What is it?" Edward hand cups my chin. He's noticed how I've tensed up.

I cross my arms over my chest, feeling inadequate and not wanting to meet his eyes. "They sag." I whisper, defeated, not even really wanting him to know how insecure I am.

"So?"

I glare at him, "Don't joke."

"I'm not," he says honestly, his eyes soft as they peer into mine. "To be honest, I didn't even notice."

I quirk my brow at him skeptically, "Really?"

"Really. You're beautiful." His thumb strokes my cheek softly, "I don't want you to feel self-conscious with me."

I kiss him then, pouring everything that I feel for him into the kiss, my hands diving into his hair. The warmth of his hands against the bare skin of my back make me shiver.

We pull apart, panting and breathless.

"Can I look at you?" his eyes are trained on my face; he's not going to look any lower unless I tell him to.

Even though I'm still nervous for him to look at me, I feel comfortable with him like this and trust him. "Yes."

His eyes slowly make their way down, taking me in. We're both breathing heavily, but it has nothing to with the kiss.

"Beautiful." His voice is so low and husky I can barely hear it. His eyes are dark, and lust filled as they look over my body.

Soon, we're lost in a haze, our lips, tongues, and hands searching the other's skin. I find myself with my head against the pillows, inhaling sharply when Edward's tongue swirls around my nipple before taking it in his mouth, sucking on it gently, sending a jolt of pleasure between my legs. The rest of our clothes hit the floor until I'm left in my underwear and him in his boxer briefs.

"I want to make you feel good. Will you let me?" he asks, sitting between my spread legs.

He wants to... Oh, God.

My hearts thundering, and my breath has quickened and just knowing that he wants to... do that to me is such a turn on. But, the thought of his mouth against me there also has me apprehensive. What if he doesn't like it? I mean, there is no way that tastes good, right? How could it possibly be enjoyable for him?

Despite my internal misgivings, I want it. The way he's looking at me from between my spread knees in just his boxer briefs has me tingling all over. His fingers, that are now trailing along the outside of my calves, scramble my thoughts. Just the mental image alone of him between my thighs has me aching all over and on the verge of coming undone.

When I finally find my voice, it's a barely there I whisper: "Yes."

He gives me a slow, sexy smirk that lights me on fire. "You won't regret this, I promise. I'll make you feel good."

Edward's lips don't leave my body as he kisses his way down my stomach to the top of my underwear. He sits up on his knees between my legs, his fingers hook themselves into the waistband, pausing for me to tell it's okay. With a slight nod, my panties make their way down my legs.

I lay there biting my lip. This is the first time that I have been naked in front of him. any ounce of apprehension from earlier is gone, replaced by need. He's looking at me with a fire in his eyes that makes me sexy for the first time in my life.

When he places an open-mouthed kiss on the inside of my knee, I suck a breath through my teeth. I try to regulate my breathing, so I don't pass out

We're really doing this! Breathe. Don't hyperventilate. Just breathe.

I try to relax as I lay there with my eyes closed and chest heaving, but his mouth is getting closer and closer with each kiss he places on my right thigh, that it's impossible. The anticipation is killing me. He's obviously wanting to take his time, but I want him to be there already.

"Holy crap!" I cry, feeling his tongue there.

His mouth and tongue are licking and sucking and sending the most intense sensations through me. I didn't know that anyone's tongue could be that talented. If I'd known that it would feel this good, I would've let him, no, begged him, to do it sooner. I'm so far gone in my pleasure coma that I can't be embarrassed over the fact that I'm probably pulling his hair a little too hard.

His arms curl around my hips, holding me more securely to him, like he's afraid I'll try to get away. Little does he know, that as long as he's making me feel this way, I will gladly be at his mercy. He can hold me captive anytime he wants.

The pleasure is already at its breaking point, that when two of his fingers enter me, curling upward, hitting a spot inside me that makes me want to jump out of my skin, I'm gone, hurling straight over the orgasm cliff and free-falling. I call out his name, but my voice doesn't even sound like me. My fingers grip the bedding and my toes curl, and I come harder than I ever have before.

When it's over and I've surfaced, I grab his face, bringing him up to meet mine.

I moan against his mouth. I can feel his still boxer brief covered erection against my hip. Feeling brave, still not completely over the high of my climax, I trail my hand down his abdomen, feeling his muscles tense and release beneath my touch, my intent clear. My lips leave his, going to kiss and suck on the skin of his neck. My hand finds the waistband his boxer briefs, disappearing underneath the fabric without a second thought.

I wrap my hand around him, not feeling any nerves or embarrassment. The feel of him in my hand is unlike anything that I've ever experienced before; it was hard and soft at the same time, and I stroked the strange appendage up and down, not sure if I was even doing it right, but he seemed to be enjoying it because his eyes are tightly shut and he has a strained look on his face, his forehead meeting mine. In this moment, I know what I want without a shadow of a doubt. I want him. All of him. In every way.

"Edward," I whisper, still stroking with my hand. "I'm ready."

He tenses beneath me, the strained look once again on his face like it had been moments ago. "We don't have to."

"I know," I look into his eyes, "I'm ready. I want you."

"You're sure about this?" he looks at me seriously.

"Yes. Are you?" I don't want him to think that I was pressuring him into this. If he wanted to wait, I could wait.

He takes my hand, threading our fingers together. "I'm sure."

"Okay, then." He kisses me softly once before he works his briefs over his hips and down his legs, kicking them over the side of the bed where they add themselves to the pile of clothes strewn across my floor. He reaches over to his bed side table, taking out a condom.

I sit there, watching nervously as he puts the condom on, fumbling a little as he does so. Getting a good look at him, I can't help but think how that was supposed to fit down there. I didn't know anything about size, considering I've never been with anyone else and the thought of porn grosses me out, I have nothing to compare to. All I know is that it doesn't seem possible for anything that thick and long to fit in what seems to be such a small place, a new wave of nerves washes over me; mixed with a little fear.

Once the latex covers all it needs to cover, he grabs the already rumpled bedding, covering us both with it as I lie back on the bed and he comes to hover over me.

He stops, almost like he is frozen above me, his arms and entire body shaking, like I could feel mine is. We both know what is coming next, and it is going to be all kinds of sucky and painful for me, and I couldn't help how I tense up, anticipating what was to come.

"It's okay," I nod up at him, running my fingers through his hair. Telling him with my words and my actions that we're in this together.

He leans into my touch, his eyes closing briefly at the contact, before he leans his head down to kiss me softly on the mouth once, his lips leaving mine as they kissed, nipped, and sucked their way along my jaw to my ear. Without warning, his mouth encases my earlobe, sucking on it. Tingles go down my spine and I let out a very loud, very unattractive moan.

"Relax," he whispers so close to my ear I can feel his lips move against my skin. "It's just me." His hands run along my sides as he speaks, and I can feel my muscles start to release. He shifts, his face above mine again, our noses almost touching. "Tell me to stop anytime, and I will, okay?"

I nod, "Okay."

Our lips meet again, our tongues dancing effortlessly. As we lose ourselves in the kiss, I can feel him shift between my legs, bringing us closer together, my thighs falling open further to accommodate him. I feel him, hard and thick at my center, barely brushing against me. When I am desperate for air, his lips leave mine, but don't part from my skin. Instead, they find their way to my neck and down to my collarbone, where he gently licks and nips at the bones that protrude there.

I am a panting mess beneath him, his lips on my skin feel so good. His plan to distract me has worked. I'm no longer afraid. I'm desperate for him. I want him inside me, right now.

"Edward," I moan, wantonly as he takes my left nipple into his mouth. "I'm ready."

He takes his mouth of me, his eyes wild as they meet mine. "Are you sure?"

I nod taking his face in my hands, crushing my lips hard against his. "Please."

He covers my body with his again, resting on his forearms that are on either side of my head like a cage. Our lips meet whisper soft as he starts to move inside me. My hands grip his biceps for all their worth. When he gets to my entrance he stops, and I can see the same nerves that I'm feeling, reflected in his eyes. What we're about to do is going to change everything. And it's the unknown that's scary.

"Do it, Edward." I swallow thickly.

"Hold on to me." he whispers, and my hands gripping his arms hold on impossibly tighter. A second later, he thrusts forward, and I hold my breath.

I whimpered as a pain I have never felt before envelopes me, my nails are digging into his biceps to the point that I'm sure I'm drawing blood. Edward stills, his breath as ragged as mine and I can feel the hot, damp puffs on my neck. My heart is beating faster than it ever has before and my eyes start to sting because I was so unprepared for the rush of emotions that I'm experiencing, that it's almost too much.

"Are you okay?" His voice is strained, and his body is rigid from the effort not to move. Our bodies are so close that I can feel how fast his heart is beating.

"Yeah, I'm okay." My body's adjusting the intrusion, the pain already starting to lessen. "Just give me a minute."

He kisses me quickly, once, twice, three times. Once the pain has subsided into a dull ache, I move experimentally. It's not exactly comfortable, but it's not awful either. Edward's hand shoots to my hip, stilling me, a strained groan escaping him. His eyes are closed, and his jaw is clenched. Obviously, what I did felt good to him. Really good. I couldn't help the giddiness that I felt knowing I could make him feel like that.

He lets out a croaky laugh, "Damn, Bella. I'm trying to make this as good as I can for you, and you doing that isn't helping."

Oh, God. I almost made him come. Go me!

"I love you." It's the only thing that I can think to say.

"I love you, too." His words are like a breath across my skin, his hips starting to move against mine.

It hurts and is uncomfortable, but... it also... feels kind of... good, too. It's the epitome of hurts so good. All of the sensations are foreign, and so different from the romp on couch. So completely different. I can feel him everywhere: on me, in me, surrounding me. I kiss along his jaw, feeling the slight stumble under my lips. My hands go to hold his back and I can feel his muscles tense and release as he thrust in and out of me. It's the most erotic thing I've ever experienced in my life. I'm overwhelmed by him. I've also never felt closer to him. So, connected.

Somewhere along the way, we both get lost in each other. My body starts moving with his, and I start panting, getting lost. His hands are everywhere, gripping my hips, caressing my stomach, my breasts, everywhere. I don't want it to end, but it does, all too soon.

Edward's movements become jerky, and much like the day on the couch, his head buries itself in my neck. His entire body shutters, and he moans out my name, the sound muffled by my skin.

I lay there beneath him, rubbing his back with my hands while he catches his breath, not carrying that his entire weight is on me.

Once his breathing is back to normal, he lifts himself up and rolls off me. He discards the condom in the trashcan by his bed. When he settles himself back on the bed, he opens his arms to me, and I gladly fill them, molding myself to his side.

His fingers run through my hair, lazily, and he kisses my forehead. "Are you okay?"

I smile against his chest, "Amazing." Then, a fleeting thought pops into my head that won't be ignored. "Was it for you?"

I feel his chest shake beneath me, "Do you really have to ask?"

My cheeks flame and bury myself further into his arms, not meeting his gaze. "It's just... you know... was it any good?"

"Bella," his voice is filled with intense emotion as he puts his finger under my chin, making me meet his eyes. "What we just did," his head shakes slightly from side to side. "it doesn't even compare. It was... I don't even know how to... it was unbelievable... it was mind-blowing." His fingers run wistfully along my cheek, the contact so feather light I can barely feel it. "I've never felt more in love with you."

"So, it's not just me. You felt it, too?" The relief I am feeling is palpable. Any insecurity that I felt about non-experienced me not measuring up, has dissipated. He loves me, and was just as overwhelmed by me, as I was by him.

His full-blown crooked smile lights his face, the fire igniting in his eyes again. "I definitely felt it. I always feel it. You should never have to doubt how deep my feelings are for you, Bella."

I rise up on my elbows to look at him better. His fingers run along my back, causing goosebumps to form on my skin. "I don't question, not really, anyway. Ever."

"I really do love you." He pulls me to him, kissing me lightly.

His fingers continue their path along my spine, and I curl up against his side again as we continue to lay here for a while longer.

A/N: I combined some of the original chapter 23 into this new chapter. I hadn't planned on doing that, but as I was writing the rest of the chapter, it felt right.

I hope the beginning part of this chapter was okay. This chapter grew a lot longer than I intended, but that's okay.

See you soon.