The ground is sloppy under my steps. I can feel a hole in my shoe letting water in. My socks are soaked. How despairing... What a day to be homeless on. I guess that's what I get for burning my apartment down! I've never been much of a pyromaniac, but that blaze was beautiful.

The ground is no longer wet and mushy. Why am I in front of this building? Oh wait, a girl was on a bike and I followed her. She had smuggled some food from a nearby restaurant. I guess the world ending makes even little bike riding girls into thieves. I think I would like to burn my house down again. That blaze was beautiful.

The bike girl has escaped. That makes this a little harder. My leg creaks from jumping down the stairs again. Her leg is all crispy so I guess that makes us even. It takes a day to catch her. I think I know her? Why is she familiar? I guess I'll ask.

She does a twirl on the blistering leg with showmanship pizzazz, "Be amazed, be mystified, you have murdered," She says, "Think hard on the faces of sisters and the smoke and mirrors of despair will focus."

She jumps at me like a paper frog. I push her out the window. I don't bother to look for the body.

I spring awake in my bed. My hands shaking at the dream skewed memory. I rake my memory for a hint I was misremembering things. The Bike Girl had long brown hair, her eyes were green, she was neither small or tall. She was average in every way except for one thing. Bike Girl had little origami ornaments pinned to her. She had a little green paper frog pinned to her chest. The damn house was full of paper animals too. I distinctly remember using them as kindling.

The more I connect the dots the more I realize just how badly I messed up. I have never met the family of the people I've killed before. The world is usually too big for coincidences like that. It's frightening how small a killing game makes things. I climb out of bed without a doubt in my mind, that I killed a very important person. I went through the motions of getting myself ready for the day.

It's kinda weird, yesterday I was a nervous mess with the motive and all. I just feel numb now. The adrenaline rush from worrying about revenge is sapped when I know who the attacker will be. I guess I'll just get through the day and try not to look them in the eyes.

I step out into the hallway. I make my way to the cafeteria and see Haruna sitting far away from Kenta. I thought it was weird considering they're partners in crime now. Haruna was jabbing her pancakes into mush with a furious focus. Kenta was eating his like a normal person. I go to sit with Akira and Danny.

We talk for a bit but I don't listen. Akira snaps her fingers in front of my face with an amused expression. "Spacing out on us?" She questions.

"I'm just really tired I guess," I reply with what seems to be my defining characteristic now. I'm always tired...

"Have you tried that insomnia cure? You really don't look very good."

"There's only one bottle so I couldn't if I wanted to," I answer.

"Oh, I can get you some?" Danny offers, he then perks up, "You should definitely come by my room later."

I nod, the insomnia cure could be useful so I might as well. Veliah then joins us. She complains about the tea gallons taking up space in the fridge. Haruna hears the smack talk and joins us soon after. Apparently Haruna made more this morning because Veliah wanted her room back. There was a gallon for every flavor of tea bag. It was a big point of contention that the super caffeinated lemon tea was her favorite. I was subjected to a taste test. It was all bitter. I hated it but tea was on the permanent menu now because 'it wasn't right to waste so much food.'

I yawn and escape with an excuse to nap. I make it to my dorm when Danny stops me.

"The insomnia cure, remember?"

It's not until he shuts the door that I get something else might be happing. My heart rate quickens. How did he figure it out all ready? Wait, maybe it's about something else!

"Sanyu, I found something out about my motive," Danny starts.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HE KNOWS, I'm screaming on the inside. Oh wait, his motive?

"I think the mastermind is confused about my past," Danny confides, "I found something."

I shrug and wait for him to explain.

"I found a paper that might have something to do with my secret," Danny reaches into his pocket and pulls out my lost motive slip. I stare at it cursing the irony of the universe.

Danny reads it out loud to me. He finishes and points to a line of text, "See, 'smoke and mirrors' that's definitely a reference to my talent. I'm just confused with the rest. I've never killed anyone!" Danny says, "That's why I wanted to show you it, what do you think about it?"

Danny hands me the slip and I wanted to strangle him. I instead look into Danny's face. He... He really didn't know? This was almost too easy.

I pour every ounce of innocence in my heart into my next words, "I think maybe it's someone else's secret. You never checked the motive out but the machine has two secrets in it. This is someone's second secret."

"So someone has used the machine twice, I thought Kenta and Haruna locked the tokens away?"

"I thought they did too, maybe they missed one?" I suggest.

Danny contemplates that before drawing his own conclusions, "Or maybe they took some themselves? They probably wanted to use the motive from the beginning. Haruna has already had her secrets revealed, but Kenta hasn't."

I make my eyes widen in shock, "You don't think this is... Kenta's secret?"

Danny's expression morphs into panic, "What does Kenta's secret have to do with me? He's killed a family member- huh!? my family member? My sister! The third motive said she was in trouble but I thought- Akira told me it was most likely a lie!" He springs up, "I-I need to go confront him."

I catch his arm and hold him back, "We should keep this quiet, we don't know what Kenta will do if he finds out you have his secret," I give him a reassuring smile, "I don't want you getting hurt." It's the truth actually, I don't want Danny hurt. I just want this over with. I want to lock up all these messy feelings and put them back in their box.

I get up to leave Danny alone when he speaks up, "Thanks Sanyu, I wasn't sure if I should tell anyone. Akira is still acting distant with me so I didn't know what to do."

"Don't mention it," I wave off.

I take the insomnia cure with me. I think it's about time I used it. I go to my room and lock the door. I plop down when I'm struck with an epiphany of my stupidity. I thought I was so smart tricking Danny! I didn't want him to know it was me. I can't face that just yet. I was so distracted I didn't realize The night time Secret Segment going to unravel the whole thing! That damn Announcer is going to say my secret and Danny will know I lied! What was I thinking?

No- I need to stop this. I need to stop psyching myself out and tell him the truth. I don't want to be like them, they never did anything. They never took action because they didn't want disturb the little peace they had. I hated them for it. I killed them for it. I regretted killing some of them for it. I followed Junko because I didn't know what to do with that weight. I regret doing that too.

How do you tell someone you literally pushed their sister out a window?

I guess telling them is a start?

I sit up with a new found shaky hope and rush to find a pen and paper. I jot down my message asking to meet him in the music room. Once finished I slip it under Danny's door. I leave before he knows it was me. I then make my way to the cafeteria. I need to arm myself. I need something for when Danny lashes out. He has every right to, but I don't want to get beat to death.

Akira catches my attention, "You look better, did the nap help?"

With false enthusiasm I answer positively. I tell her the tea from earlier was good and I wanted some more. I grab a glass and, discreetly, the smallest sharpest knife in the drawer. I knew it would be too noticeable to sneak out in my hand or pocket. I think just grabbing it would tip people off I was up to something. I looked at my tall glass. Haruna brewed the tea strong. It was literally pitch black. I guess it wasn't hyperbole when Veliah said she used all the tea bags. With some milk added in the drink it was completely opaque. I stir the contents with the knife then let it sink in. I top off my cup to the brim to fully submerge it. If you knew it was there you could pick out it's distorted form. I just needed to keep it in the shadows and I'm clear.

I make my way past Akira, Haruna, Kenta, and Veliah. I wave bye with my free hand to show it is empty, taking the drink back to my room. ok, step one done. Now for the hard part, waiting.

It was one hour before the night time announcement and secret segment. It is also time for my meeting with Danny. I grab my knife and set off to confess my sins. I pass by Haruna and Akira in the halls. They must be doing their night patrol rounds. I remember how down Haruna was yesterday that she ended up skipping this. It's relieving to see her back to her old self. Akira is acting no different around her either. I guess having your secret revealed isn't the end of the world.

"Wassup Sanyu," Haruna calls. I duck out of her hitting range. She pouts a bit at not being able to deliver one of her powerful jolly back slaps.

"Not much, I'm just going to the," Uh, need an excuse, "Chemistry room. I want to get the Cold medicine. I've been feeling under the weather lately."

Akira steps into my space and places her hand on my forehead, "Well, you are a little hot. I'm not surprised if you have got sick. I don't think you've been sleeping well."

I was a little self conscious to have all of Akira's concern placed on me. If she was willing to worry about my health then maybe she doesn't hate me. I thought her reluctance to bring up my past despair was out of animosity, but maybe it's something else? I feel a little guilty for assuming Akira was someone so rushed.

"Well, then I'll get some rest soon," I assure. The two of them let me go without much resistance. I continue my track to the music room.

I pass by the art room on my way to confront Danny. I notice Kojiro painting inside and I'm overwhelmed by a desire to see what it is he's making. I mean if all goes according to plan I won't be able to later. So I go into the art room and watch over Kojiro's shoulder as he paints. It's the same painting from the beginning of the third motive. I take in the fact M, Yoshiki, and James have since been painted over. Their silhouetted forms join the other previous victims. The surviving participants are nicely rendered though. I wonder if I'll join them?

"Is there a reason you're here Sanyu?" Kojiro asks with a raised brow.

"Uh, I just wanted to know what you were making," I explain awkwardly.

Kojiro nods in understanding then goes back to painting. I'm memorized by how realistic his portraits are, almost brutally so. I suddenly get a intrusive thought and my current impulse control is too late to stop it.

"Can you paint me something?" I ask, then immediately cringe.

Kojiro stops painting and stares at me, "Yeah, sure?" He says before putting down his brush and fully facing me, "You need to pay me though."

Why not, either Kojiro or I will be dead by tomorrow, "You can have one of my cars, will that work."

Kojiro's eyes went wide as he sputtered, "You're going to give me your car?!"

I shrug, "Why not, Future Foundation gave two to me when they found out I was scouted to be the Super High School Level Race car driver."

Kojiro laughs at the absurdity of what I said, "Fine, I'll take your car in exchange for a piece! So what do you want?"

I pause trying to come up with something, "Can you draw... another painting like that one?" I gesture to the painting he's working on, "but make me look not totally hideous, and have the dead in it too."

Kojiro nods in understanding, closing his eyes, "I see, I see, I can picture it already. All of us escaped from the ruined Hope's Peak? I don't usually draw the dead in such a hopeful light but if I'm getting a car, it's a small sacrifice," Kojiro mumbles excitedly to himself. He spins in his chair and changes out his painting for a blank canvas, "I'll have the full sketch by tomorrow, or maybe even tonight!"

I nod not really fully listening, "Just come find me," I throw out before leaving the art room. I suppose speaking with Kojiro was just what I needed to calm my nerves. I ascend the stairs until I arrive at my destination, the music room.

I peer around the corner to check if Danny is there. He is. I was unsure before but now it's only hitting me how much of a bad idea this is. I swallow my nerves and shut the door behind me. Danny comes to attention when he sees me.

"Sanyu, what did you need to talk to me about?"

"It's, uh, about the motive."

Danny glances around nervously, he lowers his voice, "Did something already happen? I haven't talked about it so Kenta can't know about it already."

"It's not that, or well it is that," I start, "that paper is not Kenta's secret motive."

Danny takes in what I said, confusion filling his features. I wait for him to figure it out.

"Wait, so you lied?"

"I did."

I think I see the moment it clicks in his head.

"It was you, it's your motive?" Danny says in horror, "why do this? Why did you do that?!"

"You saw the secret!" I yelled, panicking, "You're the last person I wanted to find it, but no, the universe is out to get me! I didn't know what to do so I lied to buy myself more time to figure this out. I don't know what to tell you. I pushed her out of a window and didn't bother to check if she was alive or not. Even if I did I probably would have tried again."

I flinch back when Danny steps closer. His face is red from fear and anger. I grip the knife I brought tightly in my hands. Whatever flimsy false hope I mustered up earlier crumbles under the weight of my true feelings. I realize I've come to the music room to kill him all along. When did my mind change?

"Her name was Giselle," Danny's voice cracked, "She was 16 when I left her behind. I thought it was too dangerous to join Future Foundations so I wanted her somewhere safe. Whole lot of good that did, I guess!"

"I- I don't care," I have to kill him! He knows to much, he's the only one who knows to much, "You think you're special? There were plenty of others, hell I don't even remember half my time as despair!"

"That's a lie, I know you remember every minute of it," Danny yelled, "Or else why go this far? You're here to kill me because you just want to get out easy! You don't want to face the future where you're accountable for your actions." He was right, and that just made me angrier. In that moment I was a kid again, looking up at the angry man ripping up the acceptance letter to my only escape. I had everything riding on that prestigious school and in one second I was back to square one. I have no escape, no help, all because of him.

"Shut up!" I rush Danny. For a second he looked genuinely surprised, before his face crumpled with pain. With that shock, my mental image of that person was pulled away to reveal who was really standing there. I just stabbed Danny. Oh shit.

"Y- you," Danny stuttered, "I didn't mean to make you-," he stared at the knife buried in him before sliding back. I felt the sticky trace of blood in my fingers, and suddenly I regained everything I thought I buried. I was a murder again, I didn't know what to do, the room felt hot and stuffy and I couldn't breathe. I had to get out, so I ran. I blacked out so I didn't see Kojiro round the corner until it was to late. We hit with a force, causing both of us to tumble down the hall.

"Sanyu, what the hell?!" Kojiro yelled brushing himself off, he picks up a ripped canvas, "Damn it! You ripped the sketch of your commission, the whole reason I'm here was to show it to you."

Shit, I need to get away, before he sees me and knows what I did, "Sanyu, are you ok, we hit pretty hard?" Kojiro asks turning to me. I can't get away, every time my foot scrambles for purchase a twinge of pain would put me back where I started. Suddenly a hand claps on my shoulder and I'm pulled up by Kojiro's firm grasp, "Are you ok? That's a lot of blood."

"I-I'm fine," I assure, Kojiro seemed to notice my urgency.

"Is someone chasing you? If you need help just tell me who it is," Kojiro offers, curiously looking around for my supposed offender. If he doesn't realize what I've done- I can still get away, I've already killed Danny what have I got to lose. I jerk back which causes Kojiro to let me go in surprise, and the second he does I pounce on him. Quickly I pull my knife high above my head ready to strike when everything goes blurry from a hard punch to the head. I stumble over dazed, "oh? That's not your blood?" He asks interested, his face darkening.

"What's going on I heard shout-" Akira graces us with her presence, freezing when she sees me, "oh my god Sanyu are you-."

"It's not his blood," Kojiro interrupts calmly, causing Akira to let out a sharp gasp, "Sanyu, where is the body?" Kojiro asks, squeezing my shoulders tightly.

"I- I didn't mean to really its just- it was just like then, It felt exactly like back then!" I was in hysterics, "but it was also so different, it was too different! If it only it was exactly like back then maybe I could have kept calm, but he did nothing wrong, it's all my fault," I wanted nothing more then to feel the familiar burn of a kick punch to justify my actions, but it never came.

"Sanyu- Sanyu I understand," Kojiro says trying to calm me down, "who was it, where are they?"

"D- Danny, Music room," I say in despair.

"We are going to stay here, and Akira is going to help Danny- ok," Kojiro said, patting my shoulder. Akira says something then takes off in a full sprint to where Danny is. It couldn't have been more then a minute when I was shook out of my delirious state by the heavy quick footsteps of Akira. I look up to see her shouldering someone, it wasn't surprising as she always had a bit of muscle to her. Ah wait I shouldn't think about something like that right now.

"He's still alive, but bleeding heavily, he's safe to transport so I'm going to the nurses office," she informs this without stopping and carries on down the stairs. I watched how she tried to move him as little as possible on her back, and I could hear her footsteps echo.

"You hear that, looks like we won't be having a class trial," Kojiro jokes pulling me up, "we are going to the nurses office too, because that collision we had really hurt, and you actually are bleeding as well."

So with that we went to the nurses and were met by a crowd. Kojiro pushes me through and into the room, setting me on a open bed, I see Akira moving with precision over Danny.

"Were you holding the knife when we ran into each other?" Kojiro asks, I nod, "that explains the cut on your arm, you definitely need stitches," Kojiro looks at Akira before turning to me, "Akira is helping Danny right now, so let's go see if anyone else has some medical knowledge?" He drags me out of the infirmary, making sure to keep a eye on me.

We step into a group huddle. It looks like everyone has heard what was happening, if the crowd outside was any indication. I see Haruna looking at me in worry, before turning away.

Kojiro waves to the group, "Hey, does anyone have any medical knowledge?" Kojiro asks, "we will accept anything right now."

Kenta steps forward, "I know the basics," he admits. Kojiro pushes me over to Kenta who drags me right back into the infirmary.

"You're going to have to settle with my stunt man emergency patch up skills for now," Kenta jokes, but I could tell he was taking this seriously. I sit down on the other bed and I feel my eyes drift closed.

I drifted in and out for hours.

My blurry vision almost missed the large form leaning over me, it wasn't until it spoke that I registered it was even human, "Sanyu we are your friends, if you felt cornered you should have told us," it looked like a angel when famed by the blinding lights, "no matter the reason you had, this was a terrible thing to resort to, I shouldn't have allowed this to happen," the sadness in its- (Akiras?) voice made my throat close up. The voice gets distant, "You're supposed to be there, you understand me? You just can't do this!" The voice trailed off. I go out with the new thought of what would have happened if I succeeded, of putting everyone through another pointless trial, another pointless death.

(Pen Pals #4)

"Sanyu tried to kill Danny," the thick letter started, the name Sanyu had a blotch where the pen pressed to long and made the ink pool, "and now they're both down for the count. We need to act soon before this game goes on any longer."

The fluid note was more messy and tired, but responded anyway, "What should we do then?"

The thick letter came too quickly, "We give the mastermind what they want, and the attention we deserve!"

Only one letter was destroyed, the other writer didn't want to tear the letter just yet.

I wrote this all at 3 am. I was initially worried it was super dramatic and overdone. Well I still feel that way but, eh, I'm liking it now! What's life without being a little extra! Shout out to the reviewers, you know who you are, you inspirational text boxes! I couldn't finish this without you!

(Alternative Route Bonus: If Sanyu didn't get his moment of hope (even if it was short lived) he would have really committed to the idea of murdering Danny. In that scenario blackened Sanyu would use the insomnia cure and drug the tea gallons. Everyone would then be fast asleep (leaving the hallways clear) while Sanyu kills Danny. Using the Teacher Key Sanyu would create a locked room murder and plant evidence in Kenta's room. He would then drink the tea himself to fall asleep with the others because that way he isn't technically breaking rule 3. In the trial Haruna and Kenta would come clean about their plan to use the Monokuma Teller Tokens. Sanyu gets found out using the crime scene in the music room. Idk the details but that's what happens basically.)