A/N: The last pre-written chapter...I have the rest of the story outlined and I'll just say…..buckle in because it's going to be a bumpy ride! ;)

Chapter 22

A few months had passed, and Sam was well into her pregnancy. She was nearing the end of her second trimester, and settling in to her new life. O'Neill never left her side if it could be helped. Daniel had joked that it was a new found terror working with him on missions that went over schedule. O'Neill would become irritable and antsy until he could see Sam again. It was just as adorable as it was annoying. They planned on taking things slowly, and they were as much as fate would allow. Both Sam and O'Neill had their own houses, yet O'Neill was beginning to forget what his place looked like.

While Sam had no intentions of going back through the Stargate, pregnant or not, she too felt antsy when O'Neill was gone too long. She finally mustered up the courage to speak with General Hammond about her future with the SGC. He was more than accommodating and understanding. Hammond had always had a warm spot in his heart for her. Hammond considered her his niece for all intents and purposes. He put in some favors to find her a place at the Academy to teach a few classes. Sam was beginning to feel like things were becoming normal again, at least the new normal. Her reputation continued to precede her outside the SGC walls. The students and even some of the other professors treated her like she was some kind of living legend. It helped that they didn't know the true reason for her arrival. They had assumed that she just wanted to slow down and concentrate on her pregnancy and new role of motherhood. Which wasn't totally incorrect.

Lowering herself at her desk, Sam could already sense that the rest of her pregnancy wasn't going to be completely fun. Janet warned that she was probably going to have a decent sized baby, with her stomach already showing significantly more than most women at this stage. She still had about 3 more months left and Sam's back was protesting the new sensation of the added pressure. She couldn't help but count down the hours when she was relaxing at home with Jack rubbing her aching feet.

She found herself smiling at the thought, revelling in how lucky she was despite it all. From the outside looking in, no one would suspect that Jack was anything but her child's father. She feared several times that he would regret her or harbor some sort of resentment for their arrangement. She knew he was a man of honor and duty, that's one of the things that made him so endearing to her. She also knew how strong his misplaced guilt had been at her being kidnapped and held captive for so long, and ultimately she knew he felt responsible for her state now. He never blatantly confirmed it, but she didn't need him to. But she also knew that he loved her, and she him. They had danced around the subject for as long as she remembers, it was still a tender area for her. She still had flashbacks, and certain things would trigger those memories. Thinking about being in an actual, true to form relationship, was something that still seemed to be too daunting to approach. All she knew for sure, was that while she didn't think she was ready to be with him, she couldn't be without him.

The door creaked open, snapping her out of her thoughts. Looking up, she threw a friendly smile on her face in greeting of the secretary that all the professor's shared. "Sorry to interrupt Ma'am, but I have a Daniel Jackson up front for you."

"Thank you Sharon, please tell him I will be right out." Sam had already made to grab her things. They had all agreed that they would make a concerted effort to stay an active part of each other's lives after she left the program. Daniel and Sam tried to have lunch at least once a week outside of team nights where they all got together. Tidying up her desk, Sam made her way to the front of the building.

Daniel sat in one of the wooden benches, crouched over with his nose in some kind of pamphlet. He was engrossed in whatever it was, not noticing Sam until she was right next to him.

"Must be some book you got there Daniel." Sam poked fun at her friend. In turn he gave her a bashful smile that reminded her of their first meeting at the SGC. But now time had groomed him to be an experienced soldier, albeit still firmly rooted in academia.

"Hey Sam! Great to see you!" Daniel opened his arms to hug her, waiting for her to take the extra step or not. It's something that she couldn't help but notice with all her friends, Jack included. They always were sure to let her be the one to fully initiate any kind of touch or closeness. It was a kindness that she appreciated, but at the same time bothered her to know that she still needed that kind of thoughtful treatment. Shrugging off the dark cloud that was threatening to loom, she entered into the proffered hug.

"Sorry bout that, we had just found this planet that looks like it was some kind of storage facility at one point. There's all these machines and devices, then Teal'c found this book, but I can't quite put my finger on the origin of language." Daniel spoke in hurried tones, excitement coloring his face.

"So you've been busy. I bet you were like a kid in a candy shop on that planet!"

"It was great, though Jack didn't think so. You should have been there! There was all this technology stuff that you would have loved too!" Daniel's face flushed after catching himself too late. Gate travel and the lack of Sam's presence seemed to be an off topic subject sense the changes occurred. No one really talked about not talking about it, but they just weren't sure how to approach it. So they danced around it. By the distant look in Sam's eye, Daniel felt that he made a misstep.

"How's teaching going Sam?" He tried to steer the subject elsewhere. Sam still had somewhat of a hazy look and Daniel's words are still somewhat dulled to her ears. Time seems to slow down and for a moment she seems to be transported back to Kuk's planet.

"Sam?" Daniel asks again after getting a lack of response. He takes note of her breathing speeding up and nearing the point of hyperventilation. Cautiously, he moves and gently grabs her arms and barely rubs reassuring circles. She jumps startled and blinks a couple of times appearing to see him for the first time since he mentioned the planet.

"Daniel…" Sam pauses and takes in her surroundings. She takes a deep breath after seeing that she is indeed still on Earth. "I uh, sorry…I think I had a flashback or something." She looked down at her hands, clearly embarrassed. She moved to step out of Daniel's touch that was meant to be comforting. It was, it helped ground her, but it was just another reminder that she was still healing.

The look that Daniel gave her was both comforting yet odd at the same time. She wasn't sure how to feel about it and she wanted to move on from it as soon as possible.

"Why don't we go grab a bite, I'm starving!" Sam threw a brilliant smile on her face, slightly too much to seem genuine. Daniel, God bless him, was kind enough to accept it and go with it.

"Yeah, there was a small café on the corner up the street. Looked like they had some good food up there. Ready to go?"

Sam nodded and they left for lunch.

That night, Sam waited at home for Jack. He was a little later than usual, but he had called her from the base to tell her. That was one thing he had always done, so she wouldn't think the worst. With Sara, Jack didn't really feel like he had to reassure her of anything outside of being at work. Sara would have just thought that meant he had some extra paperwork or something. But Sam knew what him being late could potentially mean. A whole universe….or two…of different meanings that ranged from bad to worse. So Sam always appreciated when he would call and tell her that being late was really something as mundane as extra paperwork.

"Lucy, I'm home!" Jack called out, referencing an old sitcom.

"Hi Jack, I was hoping you were gonna be here soon. I wasn't sure how much longer I could stay awake. It seems easier and easier to sleep these days." Sam hoisted herself up to greet Jack.

"Well that's the way pregnancy goes. Pretty soon, it is going to be harder and harder to sleep. Come on, let's get ready for bed. I'm tired too, it's been a long day."

They made their way to the bedroom and started getting ready for bed. Jack turned on the shower to take a quick rinse. Sam laid in the bed and mindlessly turned on the tv, waiting for Jack to finish. She caught herself smiling, reveling in the warmth of her new reality. She doubts she would have been in this position, laying in a bed that was as much Jack's as hers, happy and in love, without the terrible trauma that she was through.

The door opened, shaking her out of her reminiscing. "What's on your mind?" Jack asked, his hair sticking wildly in all directions.

"Just wondering how I got so lucky to have you. And why I had to go through what I did in order to be here." Sam whispered the last part, somewhat ashamed at it.

"You know, I wonder about that myself. Every day. I don't know why I waited so long to show you how I feel. Sometimes I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I told you years ago, the moment I saw you in the briefing room where it all started. Because honestly, that is the exact moment I knew you would be the last woman I ever loved." Jack slid into the bed next to Sam. Carefully, he wrapped his hand around hers, and moved a stray hair behind her ear with his other free hand.

"But then I realized, that things happen the way they are meant to happen. That we could sit here and create thousands of what if scenarios, but at the end of the day, what good would that do? So I much rather prefer to be happy and content in the here and now."

"You are right. These thoughts just seem to pop in my head at the weirdest times. Why weren't you so opinionated and open when we worked together?"

"Being open and vulnerable on a military base? Please. I have to protect my male bravado." Jack puffed out his chest in an overstated dramatic manner. Sam laughed and felt herself melting into Jack's embrace.

"I saw Daniel today." Sam didn't know if Daniel talked about it with Jack or not.

"Oh yeah, how that go?"

"It began strange, but ended better. Think I had a flashback and then zoned out for at least a minute. He practically had to shake me out of it."

Sam feels the deep sigh before she hears it leave Jack's body. Just another thing that she takes comfort in. His presence helps ground her in a way that she never dared to imagine.

"I still have flashbacks. They are few and far between but ever so often something will trigger it."

Sam turned to look into his eyes. She was surprised by his confession. It had been years and years since Jack had been a prisoner of war in Iraq, though he could have been referencing any one of the more recent traumas he had experienced courtesy of the SGC, she knew he wasn't.

"Flashbacks will lessen, but there will always be that one small thing, that will trigger you. Probably the one thing I got out of speaking to a quack doctor was how to take yourself out of that." Jack lifted his arm, baring his wrist to Sam. She could see a thin rubber band around his wrist.

"Whenever I feel like I'm in the midst of one, or about to be, I snap this band against my skin and it seems to kind of snap me back into reality."

She always wondered why he wore the rubber band. She never brought herself to ask him, thinking he'd rather not share the story. She felt that he still wouldn't have told her that if it weren't to offer her a similar sense of normalcy.

"I don't think I'll ever deserve you." The words fell from Sam's lips before she could even censure her thoughts.

"That's where you are wrong for once Sam, no one could ever be enough to deserve you." Jack smiled and leaned down to place a light kiss on her cheek. Sam reached up to touch his face. Carefully shifting, she turned his face and returned his kiss on the lips. Jack allowed the kiss to deepen and wrapped his arms around Sam.

She released a slight moan, parting her lips. Jack pulled out from their embrace, just enough to look into Sam's eyes. Looking for some sign or signal that he wasn't moving too fast, he returned to their embrace upon finding it. Sam's heart felt that it was about to burst out of her chest, swearing that she could hear the pounding outside of her body.

The rough padding of Jack's fingers ran down her back, eliciting fire to her nerves. Her back involuntarily arched, exposing the length of her neck to which Jack to full advantage of. Peppering kisses all along her collarbone, Jack continued making a sloppy trail down taking time to give each breast special attention. Reaching for the hem of her shirt, he slowly inched it up, helping Sam remove it completely. Sitting back, he couldn't help but admire the curves of her body. The swell of her belly made her more enticing and his eyes were drawn to it like a magnet.

Sam took note of his reaction, and moved quickly trying to cover herself. Her cheeks turned bright red, flushed with embarrassment rather than the building passion. "It's okay, maybe we should just sleep."

"If you want to stop, we can. But don't be ashamed Sam. You're beautiful." Jack held her hand, and kissed it. "I was staring out of awe. I love every ounce of you Sam. Including your baby. And don't ask if I mean it, because you should know better."

"I do love you. And I do want this. But I just still need more time. I'm so sorry." Sam said, a single tear trailing down her cheek. . Moving to be face level with her, Jack took her face in his hands and wiped them away.

"Nothing to apologize for. I love sleeping with you, feeling you in my arms is enough for as long you need to want or need more." Jack spoke earnestly, placing a light kiss on Sam's forehead and pulling the blankets around them.