I'm back, and Happy New Year! I hope you enjoyed the holiday season and that Santa brought you everything you wanted. I'm sorry it took so long to update but I took a break for the holidays and also, this chapter was really a struggle. I tried. Anyway, thank you all for your kind PMs and comments. And, thank you so much for stopping by and reading my little story. I've really enjoyed creating this version of Olivia and Fitz. Happy reading
Note: There are some words or phrases that are italicized and should not be. I have tried to correct them but to no avail. Sorry.
TBOT
Olivia eased Fitz's arms from her body and slid from the bed. Stretching her nude frame, she picked up his discarded pajama top and slipped it on before tiptoeing out of the bedroom making her way downstairs to the kitchen, where she fixed herself a glass of water. She felt exhausted and exhilarated all at once.
Since the weekend of Ford's visit, she and Fitz had been inseparable. Olivia had spent more and more time at Fitz's house. They'd enjoyed quiet evenings together watching movies in the state of the art media room, reading and lots of debating. They'd also enjoyed sex filled nights, having christened many of the rooms in the house, cooked and ate together at least three nights per week, and listened to music and danced on the deck, underneath the stars. They also went on several dates around L.A. which included concerts (Fitz's favorite) and wine tastings (Olivia's favorite). They made good use of all of their free and limited time together.
Olivia had been surprised when she'd returned to her office from lunch the Monday after her and Fitz's dinner with Ford, and found a large bouquet of two dozen of the creamiest pink roses on her desk. Assuming they were from the Fitz, and maybe his way of apologizing for his brother's actions, she walked over and smelled them before removing the card. She was speechless and stunned to see that they were from Ford. He'd written a heartfelt apology. Neither of them had mentioned Ford Grant since their dinner. He was an afterthought. After her initial shock, she'd picked up the phone and called Fitz to ask if he'd spoken to his brother to suggest that he apologize. He assured her that he had not and was equally shocked. They chalked it up to his guilty conscious and laughed about it before ending the call.
She called Ford to thank him for the flowers, and again he apologized profusely. By the time they hung up, they were laughing like old friends. That was a little over three weeks ago and neither had seen or spoken to him since.
Olivia walked across the kitchen and leaned against the end of the island, staring out of the windows of the dining room, down into the city. She smiled into her glass thinking about the good times they'd shared. The funny moments. The quiet and reflective moments. She had to fan herself when she thought about the carnal moments. She tried to suppress her feelings for Fitz but each time they made love her body wouldn't let her. Fitz hadn't mentioned he loved her again since that Friday night, and for that Olivia was more than grateful. She just wanted to concentrate on the time they had left together.
Fitz was always looking for ways for them to be alone and enjoy themselves. He'd mentioned in passing that Thomas Wallace was in town and Olivia had suggested inviting him over for dinner. Fitz looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. "Nope. He's my main man and everything but this is our time and I'm not sharing you with anyone. No way." Olivia understood what Fitz was feeling. They would soon be parting and he wanted to spend every second, every minute and every hour with his Livvie. She felt the same way.
He had surprised her with a trip up the coast to Big Sur where they spent Valentines weekend at the Post Ranch Inn getting spa treatments, enjoying the food and watching whales and pods of dolphins from the balcony of their room. They'd promised not to exchange gifts but Friday night at dinner, Valentine's Day, Fitz had presented her with a black velvet box with a white bow.
"Fitz, this place is beautiful." She exclaimed, looking around.
"Not as beautiful as you are. You're what I think of when I hear the word 'beauty.'"
She smirked at his remark. He could be so corny sometimes.
"Seriously, Fitz, you make me feel so special," she said softly. "I've never known a man like you."
He gently stroked her face. "That's because I'm one of a kind. I feel I was made for you, just like you were made for me. We're a perfect pair."
Olivia smiled, loving the way he made her feel.
"And speaking of perfect pairs," he said in a low voice.
He placed a black velvet box on the table. "How do you like these?"
She looked at the box and back at him. "Fitz. I don't need another single thing. You've given me so much, and not just material things."
"Well you never ask me for anything, which makes it all the fun for me to surprise you. Now, I know we promised not to exchange gifts, but I bought these a while ago and I wanted you to have it. It's just a little something to remember your time in L.A."
Olivia's hands were trembling slightly when she untied the white bow. Biting down on her lip, she opened a black velvet box and gasped. Fitz had given her another pair of brilliantly cut diamond studs, this time halo diamonds, along with three bangles for her wrist. The bracelets were twenty-four karat, each covered in tiny halo diamonds with a weight that equaled the earrings.
"Oh…" the exclamation came out on a soft breath.
His pulse raced. "Oh, well done, or oh, you're an ass for breaking our promise?"
She lifted the three bangles from the box and ran her finger along the embedded stones. Her eyes met his across the table.
"It can't be both?"
"It's certainly both."
She shook her head. "Yes it is, because you did good Fitzgerald Grant. Even though we said we weren't going to exchange gifts. The earrings and the bracelets are beautiful. Thank you." She'd learned to not argue with him when he wanted to give her things. Fitz was just generous by nature.
Olivia smiled to herself as she took another sip of water. They'd made many memories that weekend. In and out of bed.
The following weekend, their schedules finally synced up with Anais and Frank Higginsand they made plans for dinner. Olivia really liked the couple, especially Anais. The platinum beauty reminded her of Cecily: outspoken, full of opinions, usually unsolicited, and didn't bite her tongue.
"Come in, come in," Anais smiled in greeting. "It's so good to see you guys again. She hugged and kissed Olivia, before she turned and hugged Fitz. She took their jackets and hung them in the coat closet before slipping an arm around Olivia's waist.
"Now come on back, Frank's in the kitchen."
"Where are the kids?" Fitz asked as he looked around for the Higgins' two sons.
"They're with my parents. We're having an all adult weekend," she said, wiggling her eyebrows to make her point.
The trio laughed as they walked into the kitchen.
Frank was at the stove when they entered. "Something smells good in here Higgs," Fitz said, calling him by his nickname as he set the decorative shopping bag filled with wine and champagne on a side table.
"Those are the braised short ribs you smell," he said as he turned away from the stove to greet the couple. He stepped forward and placed a kiss on Olivia's cheek before shaking Fitz hand and pulling him into a rough hug. Frank fixed their drinks and they stood around the kitchen talking before Frank insisted on showing Fitz his newest toy in his man cave. Anais shooed them away as she finished dinner and begin to transfer food into serving dishes.
"Are you certain you don't need me?" Frank asked.
Anais nodded. "I'm sure."
Olivia offered to help but Anais wouldn't have it.
"You just sit down and talk to me."
She waited until the two men were out of earshot before she turned to Olivia. "So you guys are pretty serious, huh?"
Olivia took a sip of wine before answering. "Why would you ask me that?" She remembered asking the same question the first time she'd met Anais. She was definitely a lot like Cecily.
"Because you're sleeping together."
Olivia actually wasn't shocked by Anais' comment. But it really wasn't her business what she and Fitz were doing together. She did not want a repeat of her conversation with Ford.
"Why would you say that?" she asked.
She washed and dried her hands before she walked over to Olivia and pulled out the collar on her silk blouse. Anais traced the slight bruise on the area above Olivia's collarbone. "You have a love bite right here."
Heat spread over Olivia's face as she recalled Fitz biting her neck that morning in the shower. However, she hadn't noticed the mark while she was getting dressed. Her hands were shaking noticeably as she reached to fasten the button at her neck.
"I guess he got carried away," she mumbled.
"Please don't tell me you're embarrassed," Anais said as she removed a pan of dinner rolls from the oven and placed them in the warmer.
"Of course I'm not embarrassed that we're sleeping together. What I don't want to do is advertise it. Why are you looking at me like that?" Olivia asked, when Anais gave her an incredulous look.
"Why the big secret? Don't your friends and family know you're involved with him?" Anais asked.
Olivia wasn't certain what it was about Anais that made her so comfortable sharing her personal life. She was, for all intents and purposes, a stranger. Perhaps it had something to do with her outspokenness. She exuded poise and sophistication on the outside but underneath she was a woman in complete control of her life. Something Olivia had just come into. She admired that in the other woman.
"No, they don't know and whatever this is that we have will end once I leave L.A." She told Anais about their agreement, the merger and her plans to return home to D.C. when her project was finished. "Fitz will be here at least until late May or early June."
"So you won't see him for a while," she threw up her hands, "what's wrong with that?"
Needing to keep busy, Olivia stood and began assisting Anais with taking the serving dishes to the dining room. "I'm on the partner track and I can't commit to an ongoing relationship right now." She wasn't going to let anything get in the way of her becoming a partner again.
"Is Fitz asking for a commitment?"
"No." Olivia then told Anais about the terms of their agreement.
Anais was shocked. "Looking at you two together, I thought for sure you were headed down the aisle."
Olivia stopped moving abruptly. "What?! Fitz isn't ready for marriage and neither am I. Although he says he'll marry me whenever I'm ready. I just need to say the word. We enjoy each other's company, and what happens in L.A., stays in L.A."
Anais joined Olivia at the island and took a sip of wine before speaking. "Listen, if Fitz says he wants to marry you, he means it. He doesn't say anything he doesn't mean. Fitz is the type of man who knows what he wants and goes after it. Right now, that appears to be you, girl."
Olivia shook her head 'no.'
"So you're going to walk away from someone who obviously loves you and wants to marry you."
"I'm not walking away Anais, I just can't afford to get sidetracked when it comes to my career, again." She wasn't going to tell Anais about the fallout from her broken engagement, although she was sure she probably already knew.
"Olivia there are millions of women who are married and have satisfying and successful careers. You're looking at one. And I have two knuckleheads to deal with," she held up two fingers to emphasize the point. Olivia smiled at Anais' last comment.
"Oh I know. My mother, my sister and my aunts are also very good examples. They do it daily and very well I might add. And so are you."
Anais held up her hand to give Olivia a high five. "Thank you."
They were both in their thoughts for a moment until Anais spoke. "Do you think you'll ever marry?"
"I don't know," Olivia answered honestly.
"Are you marriage phobic?"
Olivia was quiet. Anais was asking questions she wasn't ready to answer or really didn't have answer to. Not at the moment anyway. Ever since she was a little girl, she believed she'd eventually marry and always thought it would be to Garrett Davis. It had never occurred to her that it wouldn't come to pass. Now, marriage wasn't at the top of her To Do list. Her career had now become her life.
"I don't think I am. Right now it's just not a priority. I mean I don't feel any pressure to get married. I'm only thirty and I'll probably think differently four or five years from now if I want to have children."
"You know you don't have to be married to have children, right?"
Olivia chuckled. "I'm quite aware of that."
"Okay, I was just checking," she winked at Olivia.
"You remind me so much of my sister," Olivia said.
'Oh really? So she's smart, beautiful, caring, stubborn, candid and just all around fabulous, too?"
They both laughed, loudly. Olivia shook her head. "Yes, she's all of those too."
"In all seriousness, Olivia, I've known Fitzgerald Grant as long as I've known my husband and I have to say, you are a lucky woman for having him in your life. He's a really good guy and you know I wouldn't say that if it wasn't true."
Olivia nodded in understanding as Anais continued.
"He isn't perfect by any means, he definitely has his faults. But he also has a good heart and will do anything for those he loves, and I can tell he loves the hell out of you."
Olivia could certainly agree with those descriptors of Fitz. He was stubborn and didn't like taking 'no' for an answer, and he loved having his way. But he had looked out for her when he didn't even know her and when he didn't have to. She didn't doubt that he loved her.
Frank and Fitz returned to the kitchen and their conversation was halted. The couples sat down for dinner and conversation, Anais' words again giving Olivia something to think about.
That had been a fantastic evening and Olivia understood why Fitz considered his friends family.
Olivia walked back to refrigerator and refilled her glass. She shivered when she thought about what happened when they'd left the Higgins home.
She'd climbed behind the wheel of the Porsche and he'd handed her keys before walking around to the passenger side and slowly climbing in. He and Frank had imbibed quite a bit of whiskey, so she became the designated driver. Fitz had had no idea that Olivia could drive a stick shift until they made a pit stop on their drive to Big Sur and she'd volunteered to drive the rest of the trip. She'd confided that her ex had a classic Karmann Ghia in high school and undergrad and he'd taught her to drive it. His lady was full of surprises.
Sitting in the Higgins' driveway, she rested her arm over the back of the passenger seat and looked at Fitz sitting with his eyes closed.
"Your bed or mine?"
Fitz looked at her with that crooked grin that never failed to melt her heart. "Mine."
Leaning closer, she kissed him. "Yours it is."
She started the engine before shifting into Reverse, backing out of the driveway and headed for the Hills.
That night was quite memorable. They'd transcended into another universe when they'd made love. It had started right after the front door was closed and locked. Fitz took Olivia into his arms and they made love propped up against the front door, not willing to wait until they made it upstairs. They'd eventually moved to the living room sofa, and then Fitz carried her upstairs and they continued in the shower and finally the bed. They'd awakened at almost noon. It was the first time they'd slept the entire the morning away, but it was well worth it.
X
It was three days later when Fitz broke the news that he would have to spend a few days in Seattle for a first design development cost estimating meeting with a potential client. They were in bed, each reading over documents on their tablets. Olivia laughed because he seemed so sad.
"So you're going to be gone for two days? Have you made your arrangements? Packed?"
He looked at her over the top of his glasses. "Nope. You know that Lauren makes all of my arrangements, and I have not packed. Packing is one of my least favorite things to do."
She laid her tablet on the night table and moved closer to Fitz. "Well, I might be persuaded to help you. I happen to enjoy the task and I do it very well. So if you're really nice to me, I could do you that little favor."
She yelped in surprise when Fitz reached over and pulled her onto his lap.
"I know of a few other things you do very well, Miss Pope," he whispered in her ear. She blushed at his words.
"I'll do anything you want, for as long as you want me to do it."
"Anything?" she asked as she looked into his eyes.
He nodded. "Anything for you, Livvie."
"Great. I have tickets to the Alvin Ailey Dance company's opening night at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion."
Fitz raised his eyebrows and frowned. "I'd planned on doing something a bit more sexual, but sure, I'd like that. Now let's go pack my bag before you change your mind."
They packed his bag and also managed to make time for quite a few erotic things before Fitz left Wednesday morning. He'd asked her to stay at his place while he was away but she'd insisted on going back to her apartment.
X
Olivia found that missing Fitz was unexpected. He'd only been gone for two days, but she felt as if a part of her was missing. What was she going to do when she returned to D.C? She'd cross that bridge when she came to it but for now she was just excited with the anticipation of seeing him again. In the meantime she decided to take a yoga class to relax and get centered, hoping that time in the candle-scented studio with quiet music and guided contemplation would settle her mind. And if that didn't work, there was always a nice glass of wine.
Fitz called several times after he got to Seattle. She loved hearing his sexy voice; the sound of it made her miss him even more. She went to work each day and when she returned, exhausted, to her apartment she ordered Thai from the little hole in the wall restaurant that Fitz had taken her to on their second date. The food was excellent, authentic Thai cuisine and lately she'd had an unexplained craving. She'd eat her dinner then wait for Fitz's call, before falling asleep.
Fitz called Olivia late Friday afternoon to let her know that he was back in L.A. He could hear the giddiness in her voice as they talked. His excitement escalated at the thought of seeing his Livvie again. She was the one person on earth that could make his heart race. One look into her beautiful brown doe eyes, and he threatened to lose all control.
Olivia was waiting in the lobby when Fitz pulled up in front of the Massey-Carr building. The doorman took her leather weekender and held the door for her as she rushed toward the man she loved with all her heart. He hugged her tightly before taking the weekender from the doorman and her laptop bag and opening and closing the passenger door. He stored her bags in the trunk before quickly getting in behind the wheel. Leaning over he kissed her nice and long before speeding off toward Los Feliz where they were having dinner at his favorite Mexican restaurant. It was family owned and they loved Fitz and by extension, Olivia. And the food and service were very good as well.
The owners had fussed over them when they walked through the door, and once they were seated and placed their order, the staff left them alone. They discussed his trip and her project for a few minutes before the waitress returned with their margaritas. It wasn't long before their food was served and Olivia dug into her chicken Enmoladas and black bean and corn salad, the best she'd ever had.
She'd just swallowed her second bite when she felt suddenly ill and quickly stood and walked to the ladies room. Olivia hadn't wanted to believe the food wasn't fresh, because she and Fitz had eaten at the establishment before and she didn't experience this reaction. Maybe it was the margarita. She held a wet paper towel to her face waiting for her stomach to settle. She returned to their table, apologizing to Fitz, who asked if she was okay. She nodded yes and took a small spoonful of the Sopa de Lima that he'd ordered for her while she was gone. Fortunately, she was able to keep the soup down.
She and Fitz had spent Friday night and all day Saturday closed up in the house. She hadn't gotten ill again and enjoyed helping Fitz prepare the culinary delights which they ate on the deck before making love under the stars. They were trying to pack as much into the short time they had together as they could muster. Both were acutely aware that Olivia didn't have much time before she would be leaving for D.C.
X
Fitz and Olivia had Sunday brunch at Zola's, Deacon's restaurant, along with his wife Joie, and Frank and Anais. It had been a fun time as the conversation flowed. The atmosphere was warm and inviting and Olivia knew that under different circumstances, she would have loved being a part of this close knit circle of friends if she and Fitz were in an actual relationship. But she wasn't ready for that.
All of the people at the table were ones, other than his family, whom Fitz cared for most and the feeling was obviously mutual. Taking a break from the lively discussion, she sat back to absorb it all. She observed the other couples at the table. Deacon and Joie La Salle had a kind of soft and comfortable love while Anais and Frank's would be considered passionate and intense. She smiled to herself and wondered what the others thought about her and Fitz.
"Are you okay?" Fitz's brows were furrowed with concern. "We were calling you and it was if you weren't in the room. Are you feeling all right?" She knew he was thinking about her episode at the Mexican restaurant.
Olivia looked around the table as all eyes were on her. "Yes, I'm fine, and you're right, I wasn't here. I was just thinking about what a great time I'm having and how you've all welcomed me into your circle." They all smiled at her and she didn't miss Anais' wink. Fitz leaned down and kissed her hair before taking her hand in his underneath the table as she rejoined the conversation.
They had returned to the house and spent the rest of the day curled up in each other's arms in the media room watching old black and white movies. He had indulged her by watching one of her favorites, The Wizard of Oz. Neither felt like preparing dinner so they ordered in. Fitz was concerned that she may have another reaction to the rich Mediterranean food but she'd eaten more than one helping without incident. After dinner, they'd taken a long hot bath together, made love and retreated to bed before Olivia woke hours later, feeling very thirsty.
She didn't know how long she'd been standing in the kitchen reminiscing about the last three weeks when Fitz's voice penetrated her thoughts.
"I missed you in bed."
Olivia turned quickly, startled by his voice. She smiled at Fitz standing there wearing the low slung pajama bottoms that matched the shirt she wore.
"I was thirsty. Would you like some?" she asked. At his silence she looked up. His eyes were zeroed in on her breasts that were in full view since she hadn't bothered to button the shirt. When those blue eyes shifted up to her face, they were filled with desire.
"Oh no, Fitzgerald Grant, you know I have a meeting at seven tomorrow morning. I need my rest," she told him before setting the glass on the island and buttoning the shirt.
Fitz reached out and pulled her close to his body. "Trust me, Livvie, once I'm finished you'll fall right to sleep and you'll also be very well rested for your meeting tomorrow," he whispered near her ear.
Olivia tilted her head back to look into eyes and to stop him from kissing her neck. He knew the longer he did it the better the chance of her resistance waning and she'd give in. "I can't, Fitz," she whined, pushing at his broad chest.
He lowered his head for one final kiss before he swooped down, picked her up and lifted her over his shoulder. He carried her, as she laughed hysterically, all the way upstairs and tossed her onto the bed before joining her. Olivia snuggled close to Fitz, laying her head on his chest, her arms across his midsection and her legs across his legs. No matter the height difference, their bodies fit together like a glove, molding against each other.
Olivia moved in closer, lowered her head and twirled her tongue around his nipple. She smiled when she heard his sharp intake of breath.
Fitz jumped. "What are you doing?" he asked breathlessly.
"I didn't get a chance to return the favor earlier, so…" she lowered her head again.
"If you don't stop what you're doing, you're going to get all of that," he told her, lifting his chin in the direction of his cock tenting the sheets.
Olivia followed his line of vision and laughed before she turned over in the bed to lie on her side. Fitz shifted his body to spoon her from behind. She released a contented sigh as one of his hands settled on her breast. She could feel his hardness pressed against her backside and was tempted to roll over and just enjoy what Fitz was offering. But she also knew that if she gave in she wouldn't be as sharp as she needed to be in the morning. So she closed her eyes and faked a loud snore.
Fitz chuckled, getting the hint.
"Night, Livvie.
"Goodnight, Fitz."
X
Three weeks later...
Olivia leaned against the rail on the patio of Fitz's bedroom watching as the city came awake. The sun had yet to rise. Fitz was inside, still asleep. She had slipped away momentarily to come outside to think. Although she knew this day was coming, she didn't want to think of later, when they would exchange goodbyes.
These last three weeks had been some of the best days of her life. Amazing. Olivia smiled. She had taken a chance, waded into dangerous waters and for a little while Fitz had stripped away her inhibitions and robbed her of common sense. But she had no regrets. What she and Fitz had shared was priceless and the memories were endless.
When she returned to D.C. later that night, it would be business as usual. That's the way she wanted it and that's the way she intended it to be. She would go back to being her own person, a confident woman who didn't want or need a man permanently in her life. Not right now.
She inhaled deeply before turning and walking back into the darkened bedroom.
Fitz's eyes opened slowly during the predawn hours. Something had awakened him. He reached out to pull Olivia closer into his arms and came up empty-handed. All that was there were the empty pillow and her scent. He glanced at the small clock on the night table, it was almost five o'clock.
He gazed around the room and saw the open door to the balcony. Evidently she hadn't been able to sleep. For a long while, neither had he. It was hard as hell to accept that their "fling" would soon be over and later that day she would be returning home to D.C. He knew saying goodbye wasn't going to be easy, but he'd given himself a pep talk the night before. Olivia had been more than forthcoming with the terms of their liaison, so he knew he should've been prepared for this day. He'd told her indirectly that he loved her, and then waited for her to acknowledge what were the three most difficult words for him to say to a woman. She hadn't.
Fitz sighed deeply, regretting that he'd agreed to Olivia's terms for their brief time together. There was no way she could deny that it hadn't been special. He would miss her like hell when she left and he would pray each day that she would realize, someday, that they were meant to be together.
A feeling of sadness passed through him at the thought of the separation they faced. What if, when she returned to D.C., she had no problem in keeping her end of the agreement and would not see him again? What if their time together meant more to him than it did to her?
Fitz sat up in bed, thinking about all of the things he'd never wanted from a woman before, until he met Olivia Pope. Now he wanted it all. He wanted her. He loved her. Unconditionally. But what was he supposed to do about it? Well one thing he would not do was let her have her way and turn her back on what they could have together. He was determined that, in the end, she would love him as much as he loved her. He just needed a plan. For now, he would give her space.
Fitz saw Olivia's shadow moving towards the French doors and slid back down in the bed. When the door opened, he closed his eyes, pretending to sleep. Through half closed eyes, he watched as she dropped her robe on the bench at the foot of the bed and crawled into bed beside him. She cuddled close, skin to skin, and lowered her head to his chest. Then, moments later she glanced up, placed a kiss on his lips and whispered, "I'm going to miss you Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III, a hell of a lot more than I thought I would."
He didn't say a word since she assumed he was asleep and her words hadn't been meant for him to hear.
Three hours later…
"Are you sure you don't want me to take you back to the hotel?" he asked.
Olivia shook her head and continued to get dressed. They had already had this discussion. "No Fitz, Nathan will be here in twenty minutes."
They'd awakened and made love before moving to the shower and making love again under the steam and water all around them. Now he was sitting up in bed shirtless watching as she searched for a wayward stiletto.
"I think it's best if we say our goodbyes here," she said without looking at him.
Fitz threw back the duvet, stood and walked into the closet. He walked back out pulling his well worn MIT sweat shirt, that still held her scent, over his head. She was zipping her suitcase when he walked over to her, turned her around and pulled her into his arms. Inhaling the coconut fragrance of her hair, he kissed her several times. He felt her arms wrap around his waist and squeezed harder.
He loosened his embrace and tipped her chin up with his index finger, looking directly into her big brown eyes. "These last three months have been everything I hoped for," he said. "Sitting up, talking and debating about anything and everything. Playing chess, strip poker, strip pool... I didn't know you were so competitive." He had enjoyed watching her remove her clothes, and vice versa. She looked up at him and chuckled softly before nodding. "Playing the piano and singing off-key at the top of our lungs. Everything.What we shared was special Livvie, and I'm going to miss you. It's going to be hard to pretend like none of this happened. Like we didn't happen." He took a deep breath. "Why can't we…"
She quickly reached out and placed her fingers to his lips. "Don't, Fitz. You promised. All this was supposed to be temporary, a fling. We both agreed. You knew from the beginning where this would lead and how it would end. Flings aren't meant to last."
Taking a deep breath, Fitz fought back the words he wanted to say. "Regardless Livvie, if you need me for anything, just let me know and I will come to you. I will make myself available to you, anytime or anyplace."
As tempting as his offer was, Olivia held on to her resolve. Fitz had been wonderful these past three months. She would miss him dearly. Miss everything they'd shared. For a while he had made her whole again and shown her kindness and gentleness, and she would forever be grateful to him for that. She wished again that she was ready to receive everything he was offering, but she wasn't.
Olivia sighed as they stood sharing an embrace in the middle of the bedroom, the only sound was their breathing. The quiet was interrupted by a text notification on Olivia's phone. She reluctantly untangled herself from Fitz's embrace and walked over to her purse and retrieved her device.
"Nathan's downstairs."
Fitz nodded before reaching for her suitcase while she grabbed her purse and tote. He took her free hand in his and led her out of the bedroom and down the stairs for the last time. When he opened the door, Nathan walked up and greeted them both before taking Olivia's bags. They stood looking at each other. Fitz stared into the face of the woman whose very presence took him to highs he never could've imagine and whose imminent departure, to a low he didn't know if he would ever recover from. He smiled that crooked smile that she had become accustomed to seeing every day, the smile that she would miss.
He lowered his head and kissed her. A hot open mouthed kiss that left her weak and shaken. He tightened his hold on her as the kiss deepened. Olivia's arms went around his neck as she pulled him closer. This man, she thought. This man who had filled her nights and many days with more pleasure than any one woman had a right to receive.
Nathan cleared his throat and they pulled apart, both aware that it was time for her to leave. Stealing one last kiss, Fitz took Olivia's hand and walked her over to the waiting vehicle. He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it before reluctantly letting it go. He assisted her onto the seat before stepping back and closing the door. Nathan quietly got behind the wheel, shifted the SUV into DRIVE and drove down the driveway. Fitz stood at the top of the hill long after the red taillights disappeared.
X
Olivia wished she had the power to hold back time. Her heart felt like a stone in her chest when she closed her luggage. She was leaving L.A. and Fitz. Everything they shared since seeing each other after crossing paths for the first time in six months had become imprinted in her memory forever.
A feeling of sadness swept over her when she realized her time in L.A. was ending. As the time drew near for her to leave, she'd convinced herself that she was prepared. She'd known this day would come, the day she'd have to say goodbye and go back to her life in D.C., but none of it made it any easier.
Olivia had met with Brett Massey two hours earlier. The merger documents had been signed over a week ago and she'd remained in L.A., a week after her team had departed to tie up any loose ends and to be with Fitz. But now that the project was complete, she was free to leave the place that would always hold so many special memories, and put her fling behind her.
Olivia refused to dwell on missing Fitz. They'd alternated sleeping in each other's apartments, making love with each other as if their very existence depended on it. They knew that their time together was coming to an end. Sadness came over them whenever they talked about it, which is why they tried to ignore the elephant in the room. It was too painful to think about.
Three days ago when she'd mentioned her departure, she'd felt his immediate withdrawal. That hurt her more than she thought possible and she tried to match his cool distance as a way to protect herself, just as Fitz had done.
They'd continued to share a bed and she had vowed not to make love with him because she knew if they continued to have sex it would make their separating more difficult and, on her part, very emotionally tolling. She hadn't kept that vow.
Sighing heavily, she glanced at her watch and saw that she was still on schedule. She'd just finished a late lunch before heading for the shower. When she finished, she dressed comfortably for the five and a half flight to D.C. and finished packing.
After adding a few last minutes items, Olivia zipped her last bag before walking over and picking up the house phone to request a bellhop to come and retrieve her luggage.
When the bellhop left with her bags, Olivia took a final look around the penthouse to make sure she hadn't missed anything. As she was leaving the bedroom, she noticed a furry object wedged between the bed frame and the night table. Walking closer she stooped and pulled Bugsy from his hiding place. Standing, she smiled at the memory of Fitz playing several games of Whac-A-Mole so he could win her a stuff animal. Bugsy would always remind her of the carefree day they'd shared on the Santa Monica Pier.
She descended the stairs and secured the bunny inside her tote, making sure he didn't fall out. She made a three hundred and sixty degree turn, taking in the room, before grabbing her purse and tote and heading toward the door and the elevator.
Nathan was waiting downstairs to take her to the airport and greeted her when she walked through the front door of 12 Wilshire one last time, escorted by Michael Porter, her personal concierge. "It's been a pleasure Miss Pope. Come back when you're in L.A., and we'll be happy to take care of you again."
"Thank you, Michael, I will."
He nodded as Nathan grabbed her bags and assisted her onto the backseat before handing them back to her and closing the door. As the vehicle moved away from the hotel and into the early evening traffic, Olivia finally had time to think and her thoughts went to the man who had turned her world upside down and set it right again, leaving her feeling connected, appreciated, satisfied and loved. Fitzgerald Grant. She had begun missing him as soon as she'd gotten into the SUV and Nathan drove away from the house in the Hills.
Olivia leaned her head back against the leather seat and closed her eyes. She was determined to be all right. She knew that one day if their paths were to cross again, she would not be the same woman who'd come to L.A. to manage a project, had a fling and fell in love.
X
"Welcome back, Olivia."
Olivia glanced up to find Valerie Fleming, founder of the firm, standing in the doorway of her office. She smiled. "Thanks, Valerie. It's good to be back."
Valerie laughed. "You really want me to believe that you prefer the chilly weather here in D.C. to the warmth of L.A.?"
She chuckled. "I didn't admit that but you know what they say. There's no place like home." Referring to the quote from The Wizard of Oz made her think of Fitz and the evening they had watched the movie together.
"Olivia?"
She was jerked from her thoughts. She glanced over at Valerie. "Yes?"
"Are you okay?"
She inhaled deeply. "Yes, Valerie, why do you ask?"
"You seem preoccupied about something."
If only you knew. "I'm not preoccupied, just a little overwhelmed with the amount of work piled high on my desk."
Valerie smiled. "Well, bring your thoughts from L.A. We have a lot of work to do this week. We've taken on four new clients, one of which has requested you to represent them."
Olivia raised a brow. "Really?"
"Yes. So get your notes together for the final Massey-Carr debriefing and meet everyone in the conference room in," she looked at her watch, "ten minutes."
"Okay."
When Valerie walked out of her office, closing the door behind her, she leaned back in her chair, grateful she had plenty to do to keep her mind occupied. The last thing she needed was to dwell on the memories of the past three months. Picking up her MacBook, she left for the meeting.
X
Olivia had been home almost two months and was working nonstop. She came home each evening exhausted, depleted of energy and her body was finally letting her know that she needed to slow down. Tonight she could barely keep her eyes open as she sat on the couch in her office, reading the notes from her meeting with her new client.
She stood. Her head throbbed as she padded barefoot to the bathroom and popped two extra-strength Tylenol into her mouth without water. She wasn't really feeling well and had already decided that she was going to take Friday off. Gazing intently at her reflection in the mirror, she could see the subtle puffiness around her eyes and the tension that caused the furrow between her brows. Sighing deeply, she stepped out of the bathroom and walked across the room and collapsed on the bed. Her plan was to close her eyes for just a moment, then start on the Rucker file, but as soon as her lids lowered, she was asleep.
By Saturday she was feeling well enough to get out of the house and run errands. She even made it to the hair salon. Her parents had been trying to plan a welcome home/belated birthday dinner for her but she'd been putting them off. Truth was Olivia had needed time to herself to adjust to being home. She also needed time to finally unpack. She hadn't found the time or the energy to put away her things and was currently living out of her suitcases. But most of all, she wanted to spend time alone to try and sort out how she'd fallen in love with a man who made her long for him, in and out of bed.
Tonight her family would gather to toast her thirtieth birthday and her presence was obviously required. She needed to look her best even if she didn't feel it.
Later, when she arrived at her parent's home she was greeted by members of her family, who were all happy to see her. After her mother greeted her with a warm kiss and a hug, she stared at her intently.
"You've put on weight. Your face is fuller."
"I got used to eating three meals a day." She loved cooking with Fitz.
"Well, you look better carrying a little more weight."
Olivia stared at the uncut emerald studs in her mother's ears. Always stunning, she thought. "Not too much, otherwise we'll have to go shopping."
Maya put her arm around her daughter's waist as they moved farther unto the house. "It's been a while since the three of us have embarked on a mother-daughter shopping trip," she said as she squeezed her daughter and led her into the dining room with the others.
"Hopefully, that won't be necessary," Olivia responded before her father pulled out her chair and seated her, and dinner began.
Dinner was a robust affair with flowing conversation, laughter, several trips down memory lane, a few toasts and enough food to feed an entire army. Olivia surprised everyone when she declined a glass of wine. She explained that she hadn't been feeling well, and she needed to stay hydrated, so she wasn't drinking. Stuffed, everyone moved to the living room. Soft music flowed, adding another layer of relaxation onto the group.
Olivia was engaged in a conversation with Harrison and Veronique when she suddenly excused herself and made a beeline towards the stairs. Cecily had been watching her most of the evening. She knew something wasn't right with her sister. She followed her upstairs and found her in her old bathroom with a washcloth to her face. Cecily removed the cloth and looked closely at Olivia, who looked a little green around the gills. She felt her forehead asking if she were still getting over the flu or something.
Olivia looked at her sister and gave her a wry expression. "That would be 'or something.' I think I'm pregnant, Cis."
Cecily's hand stopped in midair. For several minutes she couldn't think of a single thing to say, something that had never happened to her in her life. She looked at Olivia in disbelief.
"Libby, are you sure? I mean looking at your face I can see it now. When? How?"
Olivia held up both hands to stave off her sister's questions. "Cis slow down."
"Well you need to start talking," Cecily responded.
"Okay, but can we talk someplace a little more private? Where there aren't several nosy family members around?"
As she said the words, there was a knock on the bedroom door before it opened. "Are you girls in here?"
The Maya.
"We're in here, Mom," Cecily said.
She walked into the en suite bathroom where her daughters stood in front of the vanity. Cecily was now using the cool washcloth to blot Olivia's face.
"Olivia Carolyn, what's the matter? Is everything okay? Are you sick?" she asked in one breath.
"Not sick, just out of sorts," Olivia answered.
She walked over to her youngest daughter and took her pulse. "You look pale," she said as she reached for her hand. "Your pulse is normal," she placed her palm on Olivia's forehead, "and you don't have a fever."
Olivia moved away from her mother's prying eyes. "Mom, I feel a little better now but I think I'm going to go home and get some rest."
"Well you didn't take any time off when you returned from L.A. and you've been running yourself ragged. You're probably just exhausted. You need to slow down and give your body a chance to rest."
"I know. I've been busy but I'm going to slow down. I promise."
Cecily nodded. "She probably just needs to lie down."
Olivia was profoundly grateful that her mother bought the lie. Or at least she pretended to.
"I agree. The party's winding down but we still need to give you your gift. Fix your face and come downstairs when you're ready." She turned and left the room.
"That was close," Cecily said. "I was worried that she would notice the same changes that I did. You know her eagle eye never misses anything." Olivia laughed at her sister's comment, knowing she was telling the truth. The Maya was a force and nothing got past her, especially when it came to her daughters.
"Oh she noticed, alright. She said that I'd put on weight and that my face was fuller."
"Oh shit." Cecily went into crisis mode. "We're going downstairs to see your gift. I'll tell August you're not feeling well and that I'm spending the night with you before sending him home. We'll stop by the drugstore to purchase a couple of tests and go from there. We need to be sure. Okay?"
Olivia just nodded, allowing her sister to take charge before they left the room.
X
Olivia rose from her bed the following morning, groaning as a wave of nausea hit her. Feeling like she would throw up, she raced to the bathroom barely missing running into Cecily who had walked into the bedroom with a mug of hot tea.
She felt light-headed and dropped to her knees next to the commode, actually leaning on it for support. Olivia closed her eyes as the dizziness hit her next.
"Lib, you okay? You don't sound so good," Cecily commented as she walked into the bathroom.
Olivia retched several times before she vomited. She nearly buried her head inside the commode and stayed that way until she was sure it was over.
Cecily stood behind her rubbing her back and placed a cool towel on the back of her neck. "That's it, Libby, let it out," she said soothingly.
Olivia finally stood and struggled to flush the toilet. Cecily stepped to the sink and washed her hands before filling a glass with water and wetting another washcloth, handing her sister both.
Olivia took them gladly, rinsing her mouth and then wiping her mouth. She frowned at her reflection in the mirror. "I look a mess."
When she turned to her sister, Cecily raised her brows. "I'm your sister, I'm not going to lie to you."
Olivia dropped the lid down on the commode and sat down heavily. Dropping her head in her hands, she knew she could no longer ignore the inevitable. Silently she wiped the tears that had begun to fall.
"How did I let this happen, Cis? How could I be so careless? What am I going to do?"
Cecily stooped in front of her sister and took both of her hands in hers. "First we're going to try to get something on your stomach. Also, I called Fatima and you're her first patient tomorrow morning. She owes me a favor." Fatima was Olivia's gynecologist and one of Cecily's medical school buddies. "I know what the tests said, but you'll get a full work up tomorrow and we'll go from there. Okay?" Cecily rubbed her back reassuringly.
"Now brush your teeth and wipe your tears."
Olivia nodded. She rose to stand before the sink. Her gaze met her sister's in the mirror. "Thank you, Cis." Cecily squeezed her shoulder as she walked out of the bathroom.
And she was left alone. Nothing but her and her reflection, and maybe a new life, who could be born with brown, blue or bluish-green eyes. Tears welled up again. She dropped her head causing them to fall onto the marble vanity.
It had been almost two months since she kissed Fitz goodbye for the last time on the driveway of the house in the Hills. Two months since she'd seen him, held him or heard his voice. And she missed him. She'd missed him as soon she stepped out of his embrace that morning. She'd missed him before she even climbed into the backseat of the SUV and as it drove away from him. Each step that she took away from him, made her miss him more.
Through it all she loved Fitz. That was her internal struggle. Even now she knew he had a permanent place in her heart. Every day she fought to get over him. She fought and she failed.
And now this.
Olivia looked at her flat stomach and pressed a hand to it, amazed that a life may be growing inside of there. A life she created with Fitz.
For the first time in a long time she genuinely smiled.
X
Olivia was numb when she and her sister left the doctor's office. Fatima Goodrich, her doctor and friend, had confirmed her worst fear: she was pregnant. She remembered screaming without making a sound, and when she did recover her voice, she couldn't stop crying. Dr. Goodrich had tactfully told her about the alternatives, but if she decided to see the pregnancy to term, her baby was due in late October.
Her mind had been reeling. When? When could it have happened? Fitz had always used protection except for their first attempt at a bath together. She had gotten her period right on-time after that.
How? When?
The question screamed inside her head until she was mindless with confusion. The night of her thirtieth birthday, in Antigua! That meant that she'd conceived on or around her birthday or the next day and he or she would share the same birth month as its father.
Olivia gasped as the realization washed over her. She'd thought she was safe. Their night of unrestrained passion had begun a new life inside her body.
Burying her face in her hands, Olivia blinked back tears. She wasn't ready to be a mother; she wasn't ready to bear Fitz's child; she had too many other things to do with her life. She sat quietly in the passenger seat of Cecily's car staring at the pamphlets the nurse had given her along with a prescription for prenatal vitamins.
Olivia laughed and the sound was strange even to her own ears. Laughing seemed to relieve some of the tightness in her chest. She wasn't all right after all.
Cecily turned to look at her sister and was shocked to see the distraught look on her face. "Libby, are you okay?"
Olivia turned toward her sister and shook her head 'no.' The sisters had been up most of the previous night because Olivia was anxious and unable to sleep. They had left their parent's home and stopped at the drug store to purchase junk food and four different pregnancy tests.
Cecily had advised her that the best time to take the tests was in the morning hours, with the first urination of the day, but Olivia was too nervous to wait. She had taken two the night before and two earlier that morning. Four tests, all positive.
"I'm going to stop and get us something to eat and then we're going back to your place."
Olivia nodded again, but said nothing.
Thirty minutes later they walked through the front door of Olivia's condominium. She walked in behind Cecily and stopped to stare at her parent's birthday gift leaning against a chair. They'd commissioned a painting from a well known artist. It was from a picture of Olivia and her beloved Grandma Carolyn, taken when she was three. She was sitting on the older woman's lap at the piano. It was one of her fondest memories of time spent with her great grandmother and her favorite picture of the two of them. If only her Gram was here now to hug her and tell her that everything would be okay.
Cecily walked toward the kitchen while Olivia headed in the direction of her bedroom. She was going to take a hot shower and then try to eat something. After all, she was now "eating for two."
Olivia wasted no time getting out of her clothes and into the shower. Emotionally she was drained. She stood under the water for a minute before she lathered herself as she tried to put her thoughts together, tried to wrap her mind around the fact that in five and a half months she would become someone's mother. She knew she had to tell Fitz about the baby and she couldn't do it over the phone.
By the time she got out of the shower, her skin was tingling and her scalp was tender from the merciless scrubbing she given herself. She'd also made the decision that she would take a few days off and fly to L.A. to tell Fitz that he was going to be a father. He had every right to know.
The more she thought about seeing Fitz again, the better she felt. This wasn't the way she wanted it to happen but it was happening so she needed to prepare. First on the agenda was Fitz. She wasn't sure when she would tell her parents but she knew that as her condition became more apparent, she'd eventually have no choice.
Dressed in pajamas, she walked into her living room to find her sister asleep on the couch. She smiled. Cecily had been her rock. She'd taken charge when Olivia couldn't think for herself. She would forever be grateful to God for sending her a big sister like Cecily Marie Pope. She pulled a light blanket over her before walking into the kitchen to warm up the soup they'd picked up on their way home.
Olivia awoke to her sister sitting on the opposite end of the couch staring at her. After she'd eaten two helpings of soup, both mercifully staying down, she'd joined Cecily on the couch for a brief nap.
"How are you feeling, little sister?"
Olivia stretched and snuggled deeper under her throw before answering her sister's question. "Tired. Shocked. Overwhelmed," she said with a smile.
"Well all of those emotions are expected. You received some life changing news this morning."
"I think I knew long before this morning, I just didn't want to believe it."
Cecily raised a brow. "Oh? How long ago?"
She looked at her sister. "Well, Fitz and I dodged a bullet in January and after that we were very careful. That is, until my birthday."
Cecily gave her a look that said, go on. "We had a very romantic dinner, he gave me jewelry, we had lots of champagne and wine, I got tipsy and we got caught up in the moment. Neither one of us was thinking clearly. Obviously. But I had just had my period so I thought we were in the safe zone."
"What?! Girl, right after your period you may be even more likely to get pregnant from unprotected sex because you've just started a new cycle and you can start ovulating at any point. Getting pregnant after your period is not likely, but it is possible, obviously" Cecily said, incredulously. "Don't you remember 'the talk,' Mom was very specific."
Olivia rolled her eyes. "Of course I do. I just didn't think it could happen so soon or to me."
"Yeah, well anytime you have unprotected sex, there's a chance of pregnancy, Olivia."
"I'm well aware of that, Cecily," Olivia said in an annoyed voice.
"I had an IUD inserted two days after we returned from Antigua. I took a pregnancy test before the procedure, but obviously it was too early and my hCG levels were normal. I didn't inform anyone that I'd recently had unprotected sex."
Cecily gave her an "are you crazy look."
"I know, Cis."
"No, obviously you don't. Do you know how dangerous that was?" Cecily was completely frustrated with her sister.
"You sound like Fatima."
"We're both doctors, we know and understand the risks, Olivia. You could've ended up with an ectopic pregnancy, which is dangerous because of the possibility of a rupture and hemorrhaging. I do not believe you, Lib." Cecily sighed deeply. "Well your decision to not use a a condom came with consequences."
Olivia knew all about risks. Risks had consequences and the consequence was that she and Fitz had created a new life.
"Cecily, please don't judge me. Fatima knows everything now. Fortunately she was able remove the IUD. I have an intrauterine pregnancy which, as you know, is the normal location for pregnancy development. I'm just starting my second trimester. She also did an ultrasound and I heard my baby's heartbeat for the first time," she said smiling from ear to ear. "I'm due in late October. Everything's going to be okay." She reached over and rubbed her sister's foot, trying to get her to smile too.
They were both quiet for a few minutes. "I need to finish up a couple of reports and then I'm going to L.A. to tell Fitz. I don't want to tell him over the phone."
"No, of course not. Do you think he'll be happy?" Cecily asked, before answering her own question. "I think he will be."
"He loves me, Cis, and he was ready to marry me. So yes, I think he'll be ecstatic. No one will be able to wipe the smile off of his face." Fitz will be over the moon, she thought to herself. He would get what she knew he wanted when they thought she might be pregnant months ago, a child and maybe a wife.
Olivia hadn't decided how she would tell Fitz about the baby. No matter how many times she would rehearse it, she knew it would never come out right. What she did know what that the more she thought about it the more excited she was to see him again and to see his face when she told him that he was going to be a father.
"Looks like my niece or nephew was determined to get here. I'm so happy and excited," Cecily said over a huge smile, bringing Olivia back to the present. "Now maybe The Maya will leave me alone."
They both laughed.
"When are you going to tell her and daddy?"
Olivia sighed heavily. "I haven't really decided. I mean, I know I'm going to have to tell them eventually. But I want to wait. Give myself time to adjust to the pregnancy."
"Okay. I won't say anything."
"Thank you, Cis. I just want to go to L.A. and break the news to Fitz. We have a lot of decisions to make before both of our lives are changed…forever. "