Curse this website for jacking up my texting format!

Tony was not having the best day. Ross the Lesser had called in a meeting with the Avengers, including him despite his arguments that he wasn't an Avenger anymore. Pepper's stay in Moscow had been extended. He'd had to push back his weekly call to the Keener gang. He wasn't going to have time to check in with Peter once he got back to New York. And now there was this.

His name was Charlie Spencer.

"She doesn't know what she was talking about, Boss. She's just grieving," F.R.I.D.A.Y. said softly, her hologram appearing in the seat next to him.

"She wasn't completely wrong."

The AI crossed her arms and shook her head. "V.I.R.G.I.L. caused Sokovia. The only other people that can share the blame are HYDRA and the witch. None of that was your fault. You and the others did everything you could to stop him and save everyone. You worked to evacuate as many people as you could before the attack started and you helped save a lot of others while assisting the relief foundation."

Tony sighed. "I know, but -"

"Should I bring up the list?"

He shot her a glare. "Alright, you and the doc aren't allowed to talk about me anymore."

"I have no idea what you mean," she said with blatantly faux-innocence.

"'Remember those you've lost, but don't let the grief control you and keep in mind those you saved'," he said, closing his eyes.

"Good advice."

Tony snorted and stood up. "Check our arrival time with the pilot and send it to Ross the Lesser so he can meet Nebula and me at the mansion. I'm going to go take a nap before you decide to sell out my sleeping schedule to the doc too. Or worse, Pepper."

"I would never."

"Liar."

"Tony. You are being uncharacteristically non-hyper-verbal."

"It's because he's already made up his mind."

Tony considered pointing out that he had made up his mind. That he, alongside Drew and Nebula, had been keeping a careful watch on the UN's meetings that had led to the Sokovia Accords and had been working to oust Ross the Lesser from his self-imposed place on the panel for this exact reason. That he had signed the accords alongside Drew nearly a month earlier because they could see the way the tide was turning and wanted to start building breakwaters before the first wave hit.

Instead, he just said, "Boy, you know me so well."

"Do you know why Father announced who he was to the world when he first became Iron Man?" Nebula asked, dragging the Avengers' attention to her as he stood up to find something to wash down his pain meds to alleviate his Rogers and B.A.R.F. induced headache. "Accountability. Ever since he returned from Afghanistan, accountability has been his number one priority. He made Stark Industries accountable for its tech by putting in extra security and checks. He made Iron Man accountable for his actions by letting everyone know who he is. Since establishing the Avengers, he has tried to make you all accountable as well using his government contacts and the Stark Relief Foundation, but that can only go so far."

"The Avengers need to be put in check," Tony agreed once he'd swallowed the pills. "We all do. If we can't accept limitations, if we're boundary-less, we're no better than the bad guys."

"We can't just give up because -" Rogers started and Tony cut him off.

"Who said we're giving up?"

"We are if we're not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame."

"That is the most idiotic thing you've ever said." Tony barely held back a snort at Nebula's blank comment. "The accords don't shift blame. If anything, they do the exact opposite. They make you accountable for your own actions."

Rogers gave her a look that reeked with condescension and Tony bristled. "Listen -"

"Careful how you speak to my kid, Capsicle. She can beat you to the ground and I'd gladly watch," Tony growled.

Everyone except Rhodey, Vision, and Nebula gave him disbelieving looks.

"Ditto," Rhodey agreed, sending them a glare.

"I would have to agree as well," Vision added, not noticing the pout Maximoff gave him at the statement. "Nebula's training and abilities make her a match for the captain, even excluding the additional weaponry Mr. Stark has equipped her with."

When the others still looked unconvinced, Nebula shrugged. "If you want proof, we can go down to the gym and spar. Maybe I can knock some sense into you while we're at it."

"I'm not going to fight you," Rogers huffed. "We're getting distracted from what we really need to talk about." He turned to Tony. "What you did with your company, you chose to do that. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don't think we should go? What if there is somewhere we need to go, and they don't let us? We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own."

"You know," Nebula started and the coldness in her voice had Tony and Rhodey stiffening. That voice never led to anything good for the one it was directed at. "I once met a man who thought his hands were the best ones to know how to protect a planet." She held up her hand and it pulled apart to reveal the repulser inside. "He ended up taking my arm and more. Took so much, I can't even remember his face."

Finally catching on, Vision shot forward to place himself between her and Rogers. "Nebula," he said softly.

She dropped her hand, letting it close. "I'm done with this," she growled, turning to leave.

"I'll take you home," Tony said after sending the dumbfounded Rogers a glare.

"What was she talking about?" he heard Wilson ask once they were in the hall.

"Something private," Rhodey answered. "Drop it."

Harley whistled. "I'm surprised she didn't blast him in the face. And a little disappointed. It would have been hilarious."

"I don't condone violence, even against super soldiers who can take it," Tony said before lowering his voice, "but yeah, it would have."

"I heard that," Tori called, appearing behind her son. "Stop encouraging violent behavior in my kids."

"Hey, Valley Girl's all yours. Her violent behavior has nothing to do with me!" Tony pointed out.

"Harley taught her and you taught him," she shot back.

"She's got you there," Harley chuckled.

"Traitor."

"Boss, I would suggest turning on the news," F.R.I.D.A.Y. announced.

"News?" Harley asked and Tony saw him move into the living room. "What station?"

"Any will work, Country-Bro. They're all talking about it."

That caught Tony's attention. "Well, bring it up for me, Fri."

His stomach sank as he watched.

"Mind your language," Tori said distractedly when he let out a curse. "Oh, those poor people."

"Cap's going to freak," Harley added as Barnes' face appeared onscreen.

"Yeah, he is," Tony agreed, running a hand over his face. "Guys, I'm going to have to call you back later."

Tori gave him a look over Harley's shoulder. "Don't go getting yourself in trouble for him, Tony. He ain't worth it. He's caused enough trouble as is."

"Don't worry, just got to call Ross and Rhodey. Hopefully, we can get a handle on this before Rogers does something stupid."

They couldn't.

By the time Rhodey and the CIA were able to move in and Tony convinced them not to just kill Barnes, Rogers had already picked a fight with German Special Forces alongside Wilson, Barnes, and - surprisingly - the Prince of Wakanda.

Once he got the news, he immediately sent Vision a message telling him that he and Maximoff needed to stay at the mansion. The last thing they needed was one of their haters causing a scene that could quickly escalate given the girl's temper or could result in her visa coming into question.

Then he climbed into a Quinjet and set off for Berlin.

When Rogers reached them, Tony and Romanoff were set up in a room to wait, so they got to watch them get brought in through the security feeds.

"What's going to happen to him?" was, of course, the first thing out of Rogers' mouth when he approached Ross and his lackey.

"Same thing that ought to happen to you," Ross stated. "Psychological evaluation and extradition."

"This is Everett Ross, Deputy Task Force Commander," the lackey said.

"We've met," Rogers said, nodding to her before refocusing on Ross. "What about a lawyer?"

Ross chuckled. "Lawyer, that's funny." He turned to the lackey. "See that their weapons are placed in lockup."

Romanoff stood up and Tony closed the feed. "I'm going to go talk to him."

"Good luck," Tony hummed as he decided to finally let Ross the Lesser off hold.

"Is Pepper or Nebula here? I didn't see them?"

Tony stared blankly at the attempt to change the topic. "Pep's in Romania helping Rhodey clean up your mess and Nebula has a life. I did too, you know. A few years ago, I almost lost the love of my life so I trashed all my suits. Then we had to mop up after you and HYDRA, and then there was V.I.R.G.I.L. It just never stops, and I'm starting to think you don't want it to. You're just like the old man."

"I knew Howard, he was a -"

"Oh really?" Tony stood up and went to the chair he left his jacket in. As he fixed himself and put it on, he said, "You two knew each other? He never mentioned that. Maybe only a thousand times."

"I'm getting you a bodyguard."

"Nebula -"

"No, we should have done this the moment Uncle Happy was promoted."

"I'm Iron Man. I can take care of myself."

"Your black eye says different."

"It's not a black eye, and no normal bodyguard could have helped against Barnes."

"Maybe I'll recruit someone from your little next-gen lineup then."

Tony rolled his eyes. "I'll set the new guy up with an interview as soon as we bring in Rogers' little gang."

"New guy? You're going to contact one of them to help?"

"Romanoff seems to think we're understaffed."

"She's got a point. Who are you thinking?"

"Someone with just the right skills to pin those three with minimal property damage." Tony pushed Nebula's video chat to the side and brought up the Reborn Algorithm. "Fri, give me what we've got on Queens."

Files filled the screen; videos and pictures of the enhanced alongside plans for a suit Tony had designed to replace their onesie, just in case.

"Queens? You mean that spider-guy that's been flying around recently?"

"We're looking at super strength, speed, and flexibility, and the tensile strength of that webbing they use is off the charts. It should be able to hold the super bros."

"Who are they?"

Tony shrugged. The algorithm kept any personal details it discovered under lock and key. He wasn't about to pry unless he had to. "Let's find out. Fri?"

There was a moment of silence where no new files opened.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y.?"

"It appears the personal file has been wiped clean. There's nothing there."

"Wiped clean? By who?"

"Well, evidence would suggest… There aren't any signs of outside tampering and the only ones with access to the files are myself and…"

Today was a good day.

He didn't miss his train, he nailed his Algebra test despite not getting a chance to study because of a bank robbery the night before, and Flash was less of a jerk than normal. Everything had been great.

Then Peter got home and saw his dad and Nebs standing in the living area looking angry.

"Hey Dad, you're back in town! That's great!" He looked between the two. "Um, what's going on? Nebs, shouldn't you still be at work?"

"Sit," Dad said, pointing at the couch. "We need to talk."

Peter hung up his backpack and shuffled over. "Talk about wh-"

He cut off when he spotted his suit laying on the coffee table.

"Sit."

Peter obeyed immediately. "Dad, I can explain!"

"Oh, you can explain?" Dad sat down in front of him on the coffee table. "You can explain why you've been sneaking out and hiding things from me and your sister? You can explain endangering your life? You can explain dragging your brother into this mess? This I've got to hear."

Peter flinched and ducked his head. "Jay told you?"

"I forced it out of him, and that's part of the problem. He should have told me at the very begging. Better yet, he shouldn't have had to. You should have told me."

Peter's hand came up to fidget with the zipper on his jacket. "I know, I just… If I told you, you would have freaked out, and then I would have freaked out, and -"

"You're right, I would have freaked out, but not as much as I'm freaking out now!"

"I had everything under control!"

"You most definitely did not have everything under control! You are fourteen and you were picking fights with criminals!"

He held out his arms. "I'm fine! Nothing happened! Jay would have told you if something happened! That was our deal!"

Dad threw his own arms up in the air and started to pace. "And what would have happened if something did happen, but it was too late for Jay to call for help?"

"I'm not doing anything big!" Peter said, and yep, they were both freaking out. He knew this would happen.

"You shouldn't be doing anything at all! Again, you're fourteen! When I was your age - Okay, you definitely shouldn't be doing what I was doing at your age, but you shouldn't be running around in a onesie either!"

"It's not a onesie," Peter huffed. He and Jay put a lot of work into his suit. It was no Iron Man armor, but he was proud of it. "And I have to do something! I… The things that I can do… If I don't use them, and something bad happens, then that's on me."

Dad's mouth gaped open and closed, then he pinched his nose. "Of all the things you could have inherited," he said softly before moving over to sit next to Peter. "Kid, no. That's not on you. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should. Especially if it would put you in danger. It's good that you want to help people, but you need to be safe about it. And before you say something, either of you," he added, pointing at Nebs. "I'm a dad. Do as I say and all that." He focused back on Peter. "Piccino, I am proud of you, but this isn't what you should be spending your teenage years doing. You should be going out to watch your geek movies with Ted -"

"Ned," Peter muttered. "You know it's Ned."

"- or going to parties or drooling over crushes or… whatever else it is teenage boys do. Sports?"

"I have asthma."

"Not anymore."

"But I did, so I can't now. Everyone would know something was up."

"That doesn't stop you from not wearing your glasses," Dad snorted, tapping him between the eyes.

Peter blushed and swatted his hand away. "No one really notices. And if they do, I just say I got contacts. Besides, I do wear glasses at school most of the time. Jay and I made some that have lenses that shift to help me not get overstimulated."

Dad's eyes lit up. "Those weren't in the files Jay showed me. What else did you -"

Nebs cleared her throat."

"Right, no, I'm mad." Dad's face went serious again. "We'll talk about that later."

Nebs shook her head. "Your grounded," she said.

"Yeah, I figured," Peter sighed. He bit his lip and stared at his suit. "What about Spider-Man?"

"Spider-Boy is grounded too," Dad said.

"Spider-MAN, and you're not going to take the suit away?" Peter asked hopefully.

"Oh, I'm definitely taking it away. You and Jay did a good job, but there are quite a few updates that need to be made. They're basically pajamas right now." Nebs cleared her throat again. "But we're going to have a very long talk about safety and hiding things and turning your siblings against me on top of the grounding before you even get to think about going out to the city in costume again."

Peter threw his arms around his dad. "Thank you!"

"Yep, I'm the best dad ever. Also, I know you. You're too much like me. Working with you to put up some restrictions is way easier than trying to stop you flat out. Pepper taught me that."

Peter gave him another squeeze before pulling back. "So, why were you bothering Jay about me in the first place?"

Dad groaned and stood up. "I'll tell you on the plane, I still need to get some things together. Pack your bags, we're going to Germany."

"What?" Nebs hissed. "You're still going to bring him?"

Dad waved Peter towards his bedroom. "Unfortunately, he's still our best bet. He's not going to fight - never wanted him to even before I realized he was a fourteen-year-old, let alone my fourteen-year-old. He'll keep his distance and web them up. And who knows, hopefully it won't even turn into a fight."

"Web who up?" Peter asked as he backed away towards his door. He stopped, eyes widening and bouncing in place. "Wait, is this an Avengers mission? Am I going to be an Avenger?"

"No," Nebs and Dad said at once and Peter deflated.

"Then what's going on?"

"On the plane. Pack. We don't have much time left."

Peter nodded and slipped into his room.

"Where's Dad?" Peter asked, leaning over the front seat to talk to Uncle Happy.

"Seatbelt," was all his uncle said.

"Father is still at the tower," Nebs explained, typing on her tablet. "He'll meet us in Germany."

"I thought he was going to explain on the plane."

"He will. Now hush, I need to get this done for work."

Peter sighed and nudged Uncle Happy. "Do you know what's going on?"

He pushed him back. "Seatbelt."

"But -" Peter cut off with a huff when his uncle hit the button to roll up the divider. He dropped back into his seat, putting on his seatbelt. He then pulled out his phone and texted Harley.

Me: Do YOU know what's going on in Germany

No, I'm Texas!: You mean with cap

Me: What about cap

No, I'm Texas!: Where've you been

No, I'm Texas!: Caps gone rogue!

No, I'm Texas!: He trashed a freeway or something in Romania then escaped from the cia in berlin and is on the run with bird boy and buck boy

Me: They found the winter soldier

No, I'm Texas!: Duh!

No, I'm Texas!: Seriously where have you been

Me: Some of us actually pay attention at school

No, I'm Texas!: ** Picture of the Sure Jan meme **

Me: Ok I got distracted working on this new idea

Me: I can see you typing shut up!

No, I'm Texas!: Your such a nerd

No, I'm Texas!: Make me ring!

No, I'm Texas!: Runt

Me: RING

Me: RING

Me: RING

No, I'm Texas!: Shut up loser

No, I'm Texas!: Why are you asking about Germany anyways

Peter thought about what his dad had said and what Harley had told him.

Me: I think dads going to fight cap

Me: And I think I'm coming with him

No, I'm Texas!: Sweet!

No, I'm Texas!: Can you ask him if I can come too

No, I'm Texas!: Wait

No, I'm Texas!: Who is he bringing you

No, I'm Texas!: Why! DONT YOU EVEN START!

Me: Sure thing mr owl

No, I'm Texas!: Just shut up and tell me why he's being you

Me: ** Video of Spider-Man fighting a group of robbers **

Me: Me

He waited for a response.

He waited some more.

He was just about to send another text when his phone rang and he saw it was Harley calling.

"Hello?"

"Peter, what the f-"

"Harley Nathaniel Richards!" Peter heard Aunt Tori snap.

"Sorry, mom!" Harley called out. "Petrie, tell me your kidding!"

"Nope."

He heard a door shut before Harley whispered, "Since when did Dad let you have a super-suit!? I want a super-suit!"

"Dad didn't exactly let me have it," Peter chuckled and Nebula looked up at him with narrowed eyes.

"Who are you on the phone with?" Nebula asked, grabbing the phone and turning it on speaker.

"Hey!"

"Did you build a super-suit without Dad knowing!? Why didn't I think of that!?"

"Don't even try it, Harley," Nebula growled.

Harley groaned. "Why didn't you tell me she was on the line too?"

"She just grabbed my phone."

"If Peter gets to be a superhero so do I!" Harley announced.

"Grow some superpowers, then you can ask Father," Nebula said.

"Wait! You've got superpowers? I thought that was just the suit!"

"Nope."

"So that web stuff -"

Peter blushed. "No, th-that's the suit. But I'm strong and sticky and -"

"Sticky," Harley laughed.

"Shut up!" Peter huffed. "I can stick to stuff."

His brother just kept laughing. "Sticky-Boy strikes again!"

When Nebs' lips twitched up, he sent her a glare and grabbed the phone to hang up on Harley. "You guys are jerks."

Nebula just went back to her work.

His phone chirped and he looked down to see he got a text.

No, I'm Texas!: Are you going to fight cap?

No, I'm Texas!: Punch him in the face!

No, I'm Texas!: And record it!

No, I'm Texas!: Peter?

No, I'm Texas!: I know you're seeing these! Stop being a baby!

No, I'm Texas!: I won't call you sticky-boy again if you record it

Me: Fine ** Angry emoji **

No, I'm Texas!: ** Smiling emoji **

Me: ** Angry emoji **

Behind the scenes: I actually did the texting portion on my phone quickly so any typos were authentic. The site won't let me put in the pictures, video links, or emojis that I used for the AO3 and tumb/r versions though.

I hope you realize how hard I'm fighting the urge to turn Kid Loki's arc into a musical because "One Jump Ahead" from Aladdin, "Into the Unknown" from Frozen, "Once Upon a December" from Anastasia, and "You'll Be Back" from Hamilton all fit really well at different points.

On an unrelated, though slightly relevant note, I can no longer hear "Farmer Refuted" without thinking of Mysterio and K!Loki going at it with Harley and Peter cheering Loki on, Viv playing Burr, and "Fury" and "Hill" bursting in at the end to break it up.