Subtle Fire - Part 2
That man seems to me to be equal to the gods
who is sitting opposite you
and hears you nearby
speaking sweetly
and laughing delightedly, which indeed
makes my heart flutter in my breast
for when I look at you even for a short time
it is no long possible for me to speak
but it is as if my tongue is broken
and immediately a subtle fire has run over my skin
I cannot see anything with my eyes
and my ears are buzzing
a cold sweat comes over me, trembling
seizes me all over, I am paler
than grass, and I seem nearly
to have died.
- Sappho
Crystal darts of sunshine scattered out across the sea and down below the water was so clear they could point out shoals of fish as they rested their sun-baked arms on the railing. Both women were dressed in new sun dresses, straw hats and leather sandals. Rachel had bought Marilla a new necklace of lapis lazuli she'd admired in a Santorini market, and as it dipped down towards the water its deep blue facets sparkled against the aquamarine.
The hot sun was delicious on their backs as they gazed into the depths below, pointing out objects of interest. Fellow passengers were stripping down to their bathing costumes and a few had already jumped in; thankfully the splashes and excited squeals from the other side of the ship did not disturb their view.
In the distance their destination the Greek island of Lesbos beckoned. They were in no hurry to arrive embarkation would happen in its own good time. For now, they were just enjoying the scenery close to hand. A particularly loud squeal broke the peace and Rachel grimaced. Marilla patted her on the hand, "shh."
"I keep thinking it's a child falling in," Rachel explained.
"No need to worry, we're not responsible for children on this cruise remember."
"My head knows, my heart does not."
"I understand, every time you hear that sound you flinch."
"I do?"
"I suspect it's beyond your control." Marilla wanted to hug her close, but out in the open it was out of the question. Later in their cabin she would more than make up for it. The good thing about being women together was that no one questioned their desire to save money by sharing a room, Marilla doubted two men would be treated the same way. They gasped as a dolphin swam up from the depths and shot out of the sea, the water streaming off its silvery coat catching the sunlight caused a halo effect, like a large silver bullet.
The bright blue roofs on white-washed walls of Santorini had been stunning, they were not sure anywhere could be as beautiful. Indeed, from a distance Lesbos was pretty but in no way as memorable. Still from what they had read it would have other benefits to recommend it.
For somewhere supposedly so iconic the ramshackle Agapi Bar looked as if it would fall down at any moment. Pots of geraniums by day and fairy lights by night welcomed all, but most particularly women. The gentle jingling of strings of beads announced a patron's arrival and once in they were greeted with an array of small round tables topped with a vase and a lamp each stretched out towards the tiny stage. The music came from a three-piece band accompanied by a sashaying chanteuse, her sequinned dress catching the lamplight sending facets of light bouncing around the room.
"First timers?" someone commented as they stood in the doorway and took it all in.
"Mm," murmured Rachel. Marilla was struck dumb by the displays of public affection. Women, it was all women in various states of dress wandering around holding hands; kissing and fondling. People were joking, chatting, dancing together their hands draped over each other's backs. The noises coming from a back corner rather reminded Marilla of long-ago afternoons at Josephine Barry's place.
The owner, Laura Arnold had read up about the ancient female poet Sappho and the island of Lesbos. An English lesbian herself she longed for a place where women could express their love in safety. It had not been easy, the residents of Lesbos were not all that charmed by the idea of hordes of licentious women arriving on their island, but Laura persuaded them with promises of the money to be made. She was right. With minimal marketing, rumours of her establishment in particular and the island in general soon made Lesbos a popular destination with women the world over. They brought themselves and their fat wallets.
"Well I'll just give you a menu," Laura said after she had found them a table. "Would you like a drink while you're waiting. I'll get you the house wine." She'd seen so many women like these two before. First-timers were unused to the antics her patrons got up to on a daily basis. Behaviour that would get them into trouble at home was de-rigeur in her bar. Best to leave them to it for a while, they were in shock most likely.
They barely spoke that first night, preferring to people watch. Occasionally one or the other might point out an antic rarely seen at home even for heterosexual couples, but for the most part they just nursed their drinks and listened to the band.
The next day they slept in. wandered around the town and went down to the beach for a swim. Without a word they both knew their day was spent waiting until they could visit Agapi once again. They enjoyed a shower together after their swim and chose dresses to wear to dinner. "How do you feel about meeting new people?" Marilla asked.
"What do you mean 'meet'?" Rachel asked back.
"Oh, I dunno," Marilla waved her hand around airily. "Kissing I suppose. I heard some things going on in the back. I'm sure it doesn't mean anything, but things might get out of hand. And if they do what do you want to do? Leave or see what happens?" Rachel examined her quizzically for a while, thinking it through. They loved each other that much was true, but could she risk losing Marilla to some exotic woman? "You are my one and true love, you know that. But if you don't feel safe, we'll just go for a drink and leave," Marilla said reassuringly.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course. How about I let you take the lead, if you want to leave, we'll leave. If not, then…" Marilla left the sentence trailing suggestively.
Laura was pleased to welcome them back, sometimes people found her place too daunting. It was busy but she found them a nice couch by the wall from which to watch the goings on. "You might make some new friends," she told them. "People are always keen to chat."
Numerous couples came over to say hello not because they wanted anything, just because it was such a novel thing to meet like-minded women. They explained that they were from a small island off the coast of Canada, while the couples they met were from all over; Europe, America, Britain, Australia, Japan, Africa, everywhere. It was just wonderful to explore new ideas and hear how difficult cultures reacted to their way of life. After a few drinks though, they got to their feet and made their way home. A middle-aged American couple, Janice and Sharon had offered to drive them to a beach the next day and they wanted to get a good sleep beforehand.
Janice was in her early forties and Sharon was a couple of years younger, they had met in a bar in downtown Cincinnati. Neither had ever married but they enjoyed a clandestine relationship. This was their first time away together and they were enjoying themselves immensely. They were intrigued by Rachel's marriage and tutted over the edited story of her horrid husband.
On their second last night they visited Laura's Bar once more feeling far more relaxed. Now they felt like old hands and were welcoming to newcomers as they had been welcomed themselves. Someone handed over a couple of joints. Marilla stubbed out her cigarette and puffed the reefer sighing as the drug washed over her, she could feel Rachel relax into her side and the two of them felt the warm lassitude envelope them. When a tall and slender topless woman sat down in the small space between them and turned to Rachel to chat Marilla felt slightly jealous. The woman, Sarah explained that she was from Omaha Nebraska and was recently single. She chatted and flirted with Rachel, barely acknowledging Marilla. Later, when she pulled Rachel's dress over her head and bent down to kiss her breasts Rachel lay back and spread her legs. Marilla sat back, the drugs no longer having the desired effect, while another woman sat down on Rachel's other side to run her fingernails across her expansive stomach. Marilla was beginning to wonder if coming to the cafe this night had been a good idea after all.
Laura walked by with a bottle of wine and smiled when she saw what they were up to. It sometimes took her clients a few nights to really get into the thick of it. Rachel looked like she was really enjoying herself, but Marilla did not. Laura was pleased for Rachel it was what the place was renowned for across the globe. Marilla saw her looking and beckoned Laura over. Out of concern Laura she walked over to Marilla to ask her if she was okay.
"I'm fine. I think I'll leave her to it," she said looking down the backs of numerous heads attending to Rachel's every need.
"Come and tell me all about it," Laura suggested, pulling Marilla over to a spare table.
"She's had a hard life," Marilla said quietly glancing back at couch every few seconds. "Not many opportunities to let herself go."
"Mm, she seems to be making up for lost time," murmured Laura patting Marilla's hand in commiseration, watching the interplay of the candlelight dance across her face.
"Yes, I guess so."
"Usually these things are just flings, rarely does it mean anything. Just let her have some fun."
"It's stupid," said Marilla disconsolately. "I was the one who suggested coming here and gave her leave to depart if things went beyond her comfort zone. What a fool I am." The moans and murmurs from the couch grew louder as it appeared Rachel was getting closer. Nervously Marilla picked up her wine glass and took a few gulps then watched as Laura refilled her glass.
"If you can manage it, don't take it personally. She's probably not even capable of conscious thought, she's riding that wave right now. If anything, Rachel probably thinks you're there in the throng ravishing her," Laura said. "In my experience, you can make this a thing or decide not to. I'd be very surprised if she could remember a single name tomorrow."
Marilla looked at Laura appraisingly, "I sup-pose so," she said hesitantly. With a series of shouts Rachel and her coterie reached their climax and they all lay back panting. After a moment, they all left one by one to replenish their drinks or their joints and Marilla surreptitiously sat back next to the now sated Rachel. Rachel was incapable of speech at that point she just looked at Marilla with wonder in her eyes and blinked rapidly. "I might need a hand getting her home," Marilla said with a sigh as she looked up at Laura.
"Well," Rachel said when she woke up next to Marilla the next morning, her body thoroughly loved inside and out. "When we said we might experiment, I'm not sure what I meant. But..." she puffed out some air and swallowed hard.
Marilla had been awake for some time during the night, finding it hard to relax into slumber. She had thought Laura's words through and decided she was right, Rachel was overdue a bit of fun. Why risk losing her over a bit of nonsense when after all she, Marilla was the one who had suggested it in the first place?
Marilla rolled over towards her saying, "you were magnificent, the star of the show I'd say."
"Normally I'm a bit self-conscious about my weight."
"They loved every inch of you."
"Well they made love to every inch of me," Rachel replied with a knowing smile.
"That's what I mean. I never want you to lose a single pound, darling. I love you just the way you are."
When Marilla walked out of the shower towelling her hair dry Rachel was looking at the guidebook, "there's still a few things I want to see."
"Mm?" Marilla sat down on the bed her towel falling away.
Rachel looked at her then back down at the guidebook, "ahem, yes there's the petrified forest and the castle of Molyvos built in the 11th century I believe. They sound interesting."
"You don't just want to go back to Agapi for lunch?"
"Marilla Cuthbert, there's more to Lesbos than lesbian orgies."
"Mm, I suppose so," said Marilla as she walked her fingers up Rachel's inner thigh.
"You are incorrigible."
"And you love me for it! But if you want to go sightseeing, we'll go sightseeing."
"Well we might be asked what we saw and what we did, and I'd like to say that I did slightly more than make love to numerous women, as nice as that is," said Rachel contentedly looking down at Marilla's bare back.
"There's Skala Eressos it's a nude beach," Marilla suggested.
"Nude beach hm," said Rachel suggestively.
"Yep, I've never been to one, have you?"
"You know I haven't. Remind me dearest one where the PEI nudist colony hangs out."
"On Lesbos, I'd say."
"Must do."
"I suppose we won't need our swimming costumes?"
"Goes without saying."
"Defeats the purpose."
"As it were."
The women gently teased one another as they packed for the day. They each wore a sarong with a bikini top and stuffed a picnic and towel in a bag for the journey down. They met a convoy outside the Agapi. Several couples had cars and they jumped into one of these sitting squished together in the back seat with another couple, this time some Canadians from Winnipeg. "PEI, huh?" they said when they were introduced. "Like Anne of Green Gables?"
"How I loved that book growing up," Marilla said. "Have you been to Lesbos before?"
"We come every year we can't enjoy this sort of freedom at home. We come here for a month and it sustains us all year long. We haven't seen you here before."
"No," Rachel explained. "This is our first time. I don't think it will be our last though." The car went over a particularly large bump and they were thrown up squealing a bit, Marilla had to stop her head from colliding with the roof with her right hand.
"Sorry, sorry," said the driver who tried to slow down. "Nearly there." She brought the car to a halt in front of a long and sweeping beach with red sand that reminded them of home.
It was delightful to be able to express their love in public unencumbered with clothing. Though the sand did go everywhere as they found out to their dismay, still that was for later. Just now to lie in each other's arms kissing while the sun beat down was a rare and delicious pleasure. They felt slightly self-conscious initially, but as their friends confidently disrobed and lay down on their towels or sarongs it seemed ridiculous to be shy. Marilla felt very white beside these tanned goddesses. Although she had caught some sun along the way, her breasts and bottom stood out starkly white. These women had evidently been here a few times, their tan lines were non-existent. "Don't worry about it," one woman said when she noticed how Marilla unrealistically compared herself. "We all start out like that. A few days here and you won't know yourself."
There was a delicious silky sensation when one skinny dipped. Marilla couldn't help noticing how Rachel's breasts bounced as she jogged down to the water's edge and they took a life of their own when they floated in the sea. They spent a delightful afternoon on the beach chatting with their new-found friends about all manner of things. Where they met, how life was back in their respective homes and how marvellous this newfound freedom was.
Later that night as they both nursed a glass of wine and shared a plate of dips with crusty bread at another local taverna Rachel made a pronouncement. She had just taken a rather too large bite of bread and the tzatziki trailed out of one corner of her mouth. Marilla leant across the table to wipe it up with her thumb and licked it clean. Rachel smiled her thanks and said, "you know I've been thinking."
"Mm," said Marilla as she dug her next piece of bread into the skordalia.
Taking a deep breath Rachel continued unsure how this next piece of news would be received. "Yes, I'm thinking I might go to school," she finished in a rush and then looked intently at Marilla to gauge her reaction.
"School?"
"I would say back, but well it's been a long time since I studied."
"You never had a chance did you, darling. You were encumbered with children from such a young age."
Rachel shuddered. Not that she hated her children, just the means by which they were brought into the world. "No."
"What are you thinking about?"
"Um, well, you'll think I'm being ridiculous," Rachel started to back away, to second guess herself. Though she had been contemplating it for a while.
Marilla was silent. She took another sip of wine as she waited and glanced up at the string of red lanterns that adored the courtyard.
"Counselling. Before you talk me out of it," Marilla looked shocked, she had no plan to do anything of the sort. "I just think I'd like to help women like me out. I think I have a wealth of experience and I would have liked someone like me to talk to. You'll think I'm being ridiculous I know but..."
"I don't think you're being ridiculous at all," Marilla interrupted. "I think it sounds like a wonderful idea. You'd be magnificent at it darling. No one can know quite how demoralising it is to be in that situation unless they've been there." Rachel relaxed she had been so wrought up in anticipation of Marilla's reaction. Had been ready to argue her point, and probably be defeated. She had been stewing over it for weeks but had promised herself she would share her idea with Marilla before they returned home. It had been difficult to fully relax into her vacation with it weighing on her mind.
"Really?" tears welled in Rachel's eyes.
"Of course. If I were ever in that situation sweetheart, you're exactly the sort of person I'd want to talk to." The waiter appeared and replaced their spent dishes with a platter of fish.
After dinner they lay on their bed and continued the conversation, "I was worried about your reaction," Rachel said.
"Were you? Why?"
"I thought you'd think I was out of my mind. That there would be no way I'd be clever enough to study."
Marilla turned and gathered Rachel into her arms, "darling, that bastard of a husband of yours did more than batter your body. He battered your confidence too. He put you down for so long you started to believe him. I think," Marilla kissed the top of Rachel's head, "I think you are one of the most intelligent women I know. You'll do so well at college you won't know yourself," she moved her lips down Rachel's jawline saying between kisses, "I can't wait to watch you in action. It will be a thing of beauty."
Rachel smiled. "The only problem is that we'll have to go home. I could stay here all my life."
Marilla pulled back momentarily, "That is a drawback. Today was incredible and look," she said patting Rachel, "your bottom has already caught some colour."
The engine throbbed to a stop and all that could be heard was the call of the gulls around the mast. Looking back at the small rowboat that trailed behind Marilla could have sworn the thing was floating in mid-air rather than water so clear was the sea below it. "Coming for a swim?" Rachel appeared by her side clad in her turquoise bathing suit. The water was heavenly, just the right temperature and crystal clear. They swam about and duck-dived and luxuriated in the water. It was their last day on the island and they were determined to make the most of it.
They had chartered the boat from the small harbour and the gruff captain agreed on a price and took them to a secluded cove where a slip of white sand was edged by jagged grey rocks. He suspected his wife would not approve of his passengers, but she would add the money to the house keeping happily enough.
In the water a small pod of dolphins appeared and swam around and over and under them, making their odd clicks. "It's just like Flipper," Rachel called to Marilla. With a few strokes Marilla swam over to Rachel and they embraced and kissed in the water which ran down their hair as the dolphins played nearby.
"I'm never going to forget this day," Marilla said as she relaxed in Rachel's arms on the deck a while later, her skin faintly itchy as the sea salt dried in the sun.
The captain spied them out of the corner of his eye and pointedly looked the other way. He did not approve of their behaviour but on the other hand he fingered the wad of cash in his pocket, these ladies did have their uses.
"When I die, you can come and find me here," said Rachel languidly, blissfully unaware of the captain's opinions. "I think I'd like to come back as a dolphin. They look so carefree."
"I will, but not for a long, long time, my love. I intend to stay with you forever," Marilla replied before they lost themselves in a kiss as the boat sailed back to port.