By February, Severus was able to take the bandage off his arm, and the snow outside lightened in time for owls to deliver Valentine's Day gifts. The Great Hall that morning was awash with red and pink envelopes flying back and forth between the tables, and though she and Severus had agreed not to exchange anything, her attention was caught by a pink missive landing in front of him. His table companions wasted no time in nudging him with their elbows and letting out whoops of interest.
He raised an eyebrow and held it up, lifting his eyes to meet hers. She shook her head gently, her brow furrowed with interest. He opened it and she watched his expression immediately sour before he lifted his wand and reduced the offending article to a pile of ashes. A first year next to him yelped as his napkin caught fire and he scrambled to put it out.
Hermione was desperate to know what the envelope contained but did her best to keep her curiosity to herself through their morning and afternoon classes. Severus didn't offer up any information: he was deadly silent throughout the day and wore a scowl that kept the other students at bay. When they were safely ensconced in his workroom later that evening, she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from distracting him while he brewed. She had only just been able to actually concentrate on the text she was reading when he set down a jar with some force, pulling her out of her text again.
"You asked me about Lily Evans some time ago."
"Yes." Hermione closed the book and raised her eyes eagerly toward him.
"You asked what happened between us."
"Yes," she repeated.
"I think I would like to tell you now." His stance had changed, almost as though he had been petrified. He had drawn himself to his full height and his arms were drawn tightly to his sides, his hands clenched into fists. Hermione was desperate to rise from her seat, to cross to him and tell him that it was okay, he didn't have to tell her if it upset him so much, but she was so desperate to hear this story.
"My fifth year -" he began, but paused. He took a deep breath, and began again. "You are, of course, familiar with how I have a tempestuous relationship with some of the students here."
"Yes," she nodded, praying she didn't sound too impatient.
"We had been taking our OWLS. I was reviewing the questions and my notes one day when I was set upon by Black and his friends. A crowd gathered to watch. They hung me upside down, prevented me from defending myself, and Lily tried to intervene. Potter told her he would only stop tormenting me if she dated him. I got angry at her - I already had my housemates making remarks about my hanging out with a muggleborn, and for her to jump in and defend me, especially…," here he paused again, swallowing deeply, his delay adding more weight to his next words. "I called her a mudblood. I regretted it deeply, but she already decided that we were heading down different paths in life, and when I tried to apologize, she didn't want anything to do with me."
She was shocked. She knew that Snape had been in love with Lily and that their friendship had fallen apart in their fifth year, but had never had the details behind it. Of all the things that Harry had recounted, this is one part of Snape's tale that he didn't tell - but maybe he didn't know? She searched her memory for all the times Harry had dropped a few details from his viewing of Snape's memories - Harry mentioned that Snape had told Phineas Nigellus off for calling her a 'mudblood' before bringing the sword, so surely he must have known. Her heart went out to Harry, who had been quick to protect Snape's reputation despite the older man's dislike of him.
"Severus, you made a mistake. You made a stupid mistake, and you showed remorse for it. You tried to apologize -"
He shook his head at her response. "I have better control of myself than that -" he sounded disgusted with himself, and Hermione couldn't bear to hear it. She couldn't help interrupting him.
"I think, considering the circumstances, you should have been forgiven. If that had happened to me, and my best friends didn't step in sooner, I would have called them much worse and hexed them." And she had - she had cast spells on Ron when he angered her. She had gotten angry at Harry, too. How many times had they insulted her intelligence and called her a know-it-all, but she forgave them? How many times had she insulted Ron's emotional maturity and they moved past it and were still friends? How many times had they been angry with her? Not spoken to her for weeks over some disagreement they had?
"I couldn't help myself," he explained. "I was so angry. And then what does she do? Goes and gets together with Potter! Potter - master of my torments! Potter who promised her that if she dated him that he would leave me alone! Potter, who nearly killed me last year! The same Potter who, alongside Black, seemed to make it his life's mission to make me miserable - to make my life a living hell. Did you know that I spent my entire life before Hogwarts dreaming of coming here, how great it would be, how I would finally fit in? Every time things got bad, my mother promised me things would be amazing here -" he was breathing heavily now, his face had gone white and he was shaking, gripping the back of a chair and causing it to rock against the stone floor. One of the torches used to light to classroom was flickering wildly, and some of the jars housing potions ingredients had begun to shake. His voice had caught in his throat, and though he was trying to continue, he was expending far more energy trying to control his magic.
Hermione jumped up and threw her arms around him. Despite her touch, he remained rigid, and the flickering and rattling didn't stop.
"Severus, look at me," she entreated, lifting a hand to his face, touching her fingers to his cheek. He tore his eyes from the floor where he had focused his gaze and met hers. The rattling began to lessen.
"You've proved that it doesn't matter. We all say things when we're angry. We all say things when we're stressed. Maybe not - well, maybe not that, but…" she trailed off, struggling to find words. How would she have reacted if Harry or Ron had called her that? She had heard it hundreds of times from Draco, but… she had made peace with her heritage. How many times had she called herself a mudblood to Harry and Ron, and said she was proud of it? The word had ceased to bother her, but if she had heard it from someone she cared for, someone she defended, would she have forgiven them so easily? She could understand Lily's actions, but after getting to know Severus, after becoming familiar with the bullying, she could understand why the word had come from him in a time of stress. If he heard it used casually in his house, he wouldn't have hesitated to use it, especially if he associated her with the people who were tormenting him.
Their relationship would change, yes, but she wouldn't be able to discount years of friendship over it.
"I miss Lily so much," he admitted, and she was sure that she saw his eyes glistening, though he closed his eyes in an attempt to hide it. "She was my best friend. She was my one friend that I could share my life with outside of Hogwarts. She didn't judge me. She didn't laugh at me in the same way the other kids at home did. Her family opened their home to me. We even used to have joint birthday parties! I just… I just…"
"It's difficult losing a friend," Hermione finished. "You'll always have that connection with her. No one can take that away from you. Lily just has to do what's best for her as well, and she made her choice, and you have to do your best to respect that."
His arms had finally enveloped her into a hug, using her for support. His magic had withdrawn and there was no danger of anything accidently exploding now, thankfully.
"Is that what the card was about this morning?" she asked.
He nodded. "Potter thinks it's funny. Strange how he could make all those promises to Lily about leaving me alone, and when she finally gives in, they're all out the window."
"I'm sorry, Severus," she said.
"Me too," he replied.
She led him to the couch and they curled up together in silence, and Hermione stroked his hair in what she hoped was a soothing manner until the curfew forced them to part.
Severus ran hot and cold the next few days, seemingly afraid for Hermione to turn her back on him, but when it became clear she wasn't, they resumed their normalcy, and, despite her distraction, Hermione did everything she could to reassure him that she would not be banishing him from her company anytime soon. The latest incarnation of her potion did something to the mice, but it did not have the desired effect, either. They seemed to have much more energy than they usually did, running the maze with ease, but it did not revert back to the original path she had trained them to run. So, the pair of them were in the library once more, Hermione researching her ingredients and Severus looking through books from the Restricted Section. They worked in silence, their only interruption coming from a group of Hufflepuff fifth years at the next table.
Hermione felt stuck. She had tried everything she could think of, and she could feel that Severus had exhausted his knowledge on the subject as well. She had already read all the texts in the potions section thrice over, as well as all the books in the charms and herbology sections. Her attention kept wandering away from everything in front of her. She had watched Peeves from across the room chuck some inkwells at some second years, and Madam Pince chase him out of the library. She had watched a fifth year couple canoodling behind the arithmancy section. Right now she was absentmindedly watching the group at the table next to them. One of the girls pulled out a tube of lipgloss and applied it, the sickly sweet artificial scent of strawberry wafted over to her and Severus - the scent reminded Hermione of being in primary school. Her hand fell onto the table with a strike of inspiration.
Why had she not thought of that before? Scent - it had the strongest ties to memory - if they could brew something like amortentia - something that could seek out the psyche - was that the key?
"Severus, to brew amortentia…" she began cautiously, trying to think of the best way to phrase her question.
"No." He didn't even give her the courtesy of looking up from the manuscript he was reading.
"I'm not asking you to brew it," she replied, annoyed that he didn't let her finish her thought.
"No, you're ruddy well not - I should think you knew better than that," he finally raised his eyes toward her, an eyebrow raised.
"What gives it its scent properties?"
"The scent individuality, you mean?"
"Yes. I think it smells like grass and parchment -" she ignored the snort of amusement he gave at this - "what causes that exactly?"
"That would be the pearl dust interacting with the ashwinder eggs." He ticked the ingredients off on his fingers as he answered.
"That works on attraction, though - do you think that if one of those ingredients was combined with something else that it could work in the same way, but for a different purpose?"
"What kind of purpose?"
"Do you remember when I read that scent has the strongest connection to memory?"
"You want something to trigger these lost memories."
"Yes - something that would draw them forth, and restore them - almost like restoring memories from a pensieve."
He grabbed a piece of parchment and pulled it toward him, writing down ingredients and arithmancy calculations. "We can start with the ashwinder eggs as a base. That's what interacts with the consumer individually. If we change the rose - no… If we change the pearl dust, that's the ingredients that gears it toward attraction - we can try to replace it with jobberknoll feathers or even mistletoe berries - something that's associated with forgetfulness or retrieval."
Hermione ran to the library shelves and pulled out five books about potions ingredients and spent the rest of the afternoon coming them over, a renewed vigour to her research. There was something about this that made her feel as though she was going to be successful - this was the right path, the type of thing she should have been researching all along. This was the potion that was going to search for deeply hidden things.
She spent the next few days between classes trying to put together possible ingredients, but she felt that Severus' suggestions would be the best. She didn't want to brew it without him, and he was busy with a project of his own, so it would be at least another week before they were able to start. She had spent most of her evenings between the library with Remus and the lab with Severus, but he had specifically requested her presence with him this evening.
"Done," he said, pushing a cork into a small spherical vial.
"Oh?"
"I got a head start this year. I took an average of the number of stamina potions I've sold over the past four years and have brewed them early. They'll keep for a month," he gestured to his desk proudly.
"Clever," she said, rising to inspect his work. There were two crates of bottles, all meticulously measured and labelled.
"More time for us," he said, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to him.
"And for revising," she added, standing on tiptoe to kiss his cheek.
He sighed heavily and rested his forehead against hers. Though he acted annoyed at her reminder, she knew that was the real reason behind his early start. He wanted to do just as well at his NEWTs as she did.
"I'm sure I can schedule some time in for you somewhere," she teased, tilting her face up to meet his. She kissed him and felt his lips curl into a smile against her own. He walked her back toward the couch and eased her down onto it and they became lost in each other for several minutes.
The warning bell rang, reminding the students to get to their dormitories before curfew and they drew apart reluctantly.
Hermione checked her watch. "I'll walk up on my own tonight - it's too close to curfew. I don't want you to get caught out," she said as they exited his lab.
There was a sudden flash of light and they were both stuck in place.
"Well, Snivellus - this is where you've been hiding. Do you two have a little love nest in here?" Sirius' voice came from in front of them and he and James seemed to appear from nowhere. Just on the corner of her sightline she could see James tucking something into his robes and the worn Marauder's Map in his hand.
For all the times Hermione had been in danger, she had never felt as close to it as now. Her heart raced. Lily had warned her - she should have been more careful, she should have taken precautions to make sure they wouldn't be targeted. She could hear Snape beside her. It sounded a though he was on the verge of murder, a stream of curses making their way out of his clenched teeth.
They hadn't had a chance to ward the door behind them yet, and Sirius and James took advantage of that. The sound of smashing bottles and vials came from inside. Hermione's heart sank at the sound.
Snape was fighting the spell so hard, and she needed to become free before he did - before he did something stupid. Those games the Slytherins were playing to amuse themselves - and the curses Snape had been learning from the books from the restricted section -
"Don't do it, Severus," she whispered desperately when she could finally move her lips. "Please."
She could tell he was angry, so angry, much worse than the Order of Merlin being snatched from him in her third year, from believing he had caught Lily's murderer. The torches in the corridor began to flicker with the magic rolling off of him.
She began whispering counter spells, praying that Severus was too distracted by his anger to do the same. She was thankful she had been holding her wand, and prayed that though she wasn't able to perform the spell movements, that the magic would take hold.
"Finite," she mouthed, her breath barely moving past her lips. "Finite. Finite. Finite Incantatem," she chanted the words silently, over and over like a litany.
She didn't know if the spell cast on her was weak, or if it was sheer will, but she felt the spell's hold on her release and knew if she tried that she would be able to move. She begged for forgiveness from Severus as she silently cast another freezing curse on him, holding him in place, hoping that he was too distracted to see the tiny movements of her wand.
James and Sirius made a reappearance through the door.
"I'm a bit disappointed, Padfoot. I thought there would be all sorts of slimy things in there," James remarked lazily.
Sirius chuckled and leaned in close to Severus' face. "Nah, he's cleaned himself up now that he's got a girlfriend. I bet he washes his pants now, too. Do you, Snivellus?"
One of the torches at the far end of the corridor extinguished. And then the next.
"Oh, he's mad now. Should I tell Jean all about how you were all over Lily?" James placed one of his hands on Hermione's shoulder and leaned in close to her ear. "Panting after her like a dog with a bone," he mock whispered, loud enough for all of them to hear. Sirius barked with laughter. Severus had gone deadly silent.
Hermione's wand was at James' throat before he knew it, and he was so startled by her sudden movement that he dropped his. She backed him up against the wall. "You whisper a word of this - you find us again and invade our privacy, and I will personally ensure that the Ministry is notified that there are three unregistered animagi at Hogwarts - and how would that look for you, James? How would that affect your father, just having been diagnosed with Dragon Pox? And your poor mummy?"
It was dirty, and it was low, but the gauntlet had been thrown and she couldn't help but respond in kind. They wouldn't dare.
Sirius snarled at her, pointing his wand toward her. The tension was so thick that she thought she could see sparks flying.
"Come on, Padfoot." James uttered, his voice cracking with emotion, his whole body sagged with defeat. He retrieved his dropped wand, turned and walked away from the pair, and Sirius took off after his friend, thankfully without any parting words or spells. Hermione thanked whatever deities were helping her and silently released her spell on Severus.
He immediately turned and made a slashing movement with his wand, his arm moving through the air so fast that it was a blur before her eyes. A tapestry further down the corridor immediately fell, completely in shreds. He turned and began to kick and flail at the stone walls.
"Protego," she aimed her wand at him, protecting him from the blows he was inflicting, doing more damage to himself than to the wall.
His head was against the stone now, his fists clenched in anger, pounding against it. He was breathing fast and ragged, as though he had just run the length of the Quidditch Pitch at full speed. There was sweat trickling down his temples.
Hermione approached him cautiously. "Severus?" she asked. "Are you alright?"
"I'm moving it tonight," he rasped out, ignoring her concern.
"It's late, Severus." She gently placed a hand on his shoulder. His muscles were twitching beneath her fingertips and she could tell he wanted to shrug her off. "I doubt they'll come back."
"No. It needs to be done."
"They won't be back. Not after my threat. And we don't have anywhere to move it yet."
He pulled back from the wall and his hands immediately fisted in his hair in agitation. She grabbed them and held them in her own, squeezing them gently. He finally met her eyes. They were on fire, red and black with fury. It was the first time that she was with him where she actually felt uncomfortable in his presence.
She swallowed down her fear. "We will find somewhere suitable," she promised.
Severus nodded and turned into the workroom to survey the damage. For as long as James and Sirius spent inside, there was surprisingly little disturbed with the exception of Severus' crates of potions. They were completely smashed, and the floor was flooded with stamina potion and littered with shards of glass. Nearly a month's worth of brewing was gone.
He swiped his wand toward the mess and it was gone in an instant. Another spell showed that his stock of ingredients, thankfully, had not been disturbed, so they would not be in need of replacement.
"I'll help you," she assured him, and though he nodded, he could not bring himself to speak.
There was no question of returning to their dormitories now. Severus warded the door behind them and they retreated to the sofa where they remained in silence until Hermione drifted off to sleep, and when she woke in the morning, Severus was gone and she was fairly sure that he had not slept at all.
She didn't see him in lessons or in the library at all that day, nor did he join her in her workroom. When she tried his workroom, she found it completely empty. She summoned Dobo and made him promise her to make sure that Severus ate, no matter where he was, and the house elf nodded eagerly in agreement before disappearing.
Remus came out of the Great Hall just as she was passing that evening and quickly crossed to her. "We need to talk."
"Did Prongs and Padfoot tell on me?" she asked.
Remus paled. "Jean…"
They walked in silence up to Gryffindor Tower together and sat down in a pair of chairs in a darker corner of the room. There were a few other students who had returned from dinner as well.
"Muffliato." He flicked his wand at their surroundings before turning to her. "Sirius is livid."
"They had no right."
"Threatening James' father and their livelihood?" he asked incredulously. "I didn't expect this from you, Jean."
She scoffed. "I didn't threaten his father. I just threatened to tell his father about his extracurricular activities."
He sighed. "They just wanted to see what you are up to. You may not have seen it, but some funny things have been going on around here lately, and they want to make sure that you're not involved in any of it."
"Oh, is that what they told you? Did they tell you some of the vile things they said? What they did to Severus?" Hermione could feel the pitch of her voice going higher and higher with each question she asked. She took a deep breath and tried to speak in a steady tone. "What we are up to is none of their business."
Remus pressed his palm to his forehead in exasperation at the situation. Of course his friends wouldn't give him all the details, but he replied anyway. "It is if it involves the Dark Arts."
She gave him a horrified look. "Do they - you - really think that I would be practicing or performing dark magic - here - right under Dumbledore's nose? I meet with him twice a month, for Merlin's sake!"
"These are dark times - you don't know who to trust, and Snape -"
"Stop, Remus." They sat in silence for a few moments, watching other students pass through the room on their way back from dinner. The common room was beginning to get busy.
Remus leaned toward her and took a deep breath. "Jean, please listen to me. Snape has made it clear that he agrees with Voldemort - or at least his followers. He has a history of -"
"I know his history."
"So you'll understand why we're so concerned, then."
"Have you ever considered that through my friendship with him that I might be trying to turn him away from that path?"
Remus gave her a thoughtful smile.
"Well, it did mine, but -"
"Shall I make a wand oath to you that I would never consider, nor will I ever join the organization known as the Death Eaters?" she asked. She would if it would keep them away, make them leave them alone.
"I think it would just make us all more comfortable if we knew his intentions - what you were up to."
She opened her mouth to respond but stopped herself. What business of it was theirs? Why should she let them know every detail of her life to appease them? The fact that she had Dumbledore on her side should be enough.
"How do they know about it anyway? What concern of it is theirs - or yours?"
Remus stumbled over his answer. He wouldn't dare reveal the map.
"We just passed one night and heard you two, and kept passing again, and noticed you were always together there. And you always disappeared off down corridors together. James and Sirius - without my mature guidance - couldn't resist a confrontation."
"And seized the opportunity when you were ill."
He nodded. It was his first day back after the full moon.
She sighed, her earlier indignation gone. If it would make them leave her and Severus alone, she would need to do it.
"Remus Lupin, I am performing some potions experiments with the express permission of Albus Dumbledore. I am sure that you have noticed that Severus Snape has a natural talent and indication for what will be successful and I am using his knowledge to my full advantage."
He held his wand out toward her.
"Do you swear?"
She met her wand tip to his.
"This I so swear."
They glowed brightly for a moment.
"I will keep them from bothering you again," he promised.
"Severus has moved the lab already. If they bother us in our new location, if I even suspect that they are hiding under that cloak in the same corridor, I will hex their bollocks off," Hermione said with an edge to her voice. She trusted Remus completely, but she did not trust James and Sirius to not seek them out again using the map.
"Jean," Remus began, his voice low despite the spell muting their conversation to curious ears. "How did you know?" he asked.
"I was out collecting potions ingredients one night and I thought it pretty strange to see a werewolf running around with a stag and one of the largest dogs I've ever seen," she replied. "Followed by a rat who was just a bit too curious."
Remus' face blanched.
Hermione reached for his hand. Despite his friend's horrible actions, her heart went out to him.
"Your secret is safe with me," she assured him, squeezing his hand gently before releasing it.
"Did Snape tell you?" he asked.
"No. You always having something to do around the full moon did. And James and Sirius calling you "Moony" and talking about your 'furry little problem' didn't help, either."
"I think they bank on people being too wrapped up in their own lives and business to pay attention."
"They're too arrogant for their own good."
"Be careful, you're beginning to sound like Snape," Remus teased.
"Finite incantatem." she whispered, cancelling the spell. "Have a good night, Remus." She grabbed her rucksack and headed towards the spiral staircase leading towards the girls' dormitories.
"And you, Hermione."
She bit her lip, willing herself to keep moving forward, cursing her own arrogance and thoughtlessness. Hadn't Remus himself explained that the Marauder's Map never lied? She tried to put it to the back of her mind, hoping that her threat towards James and Sirius would be enough to keep them quiet.
Although she never initially meant to alienate Sirius and James, the whole incident worked out in her favor. She was no longer clearly invited to join them in their ventures or games. If she was already seated in the Great Hall when they entered, they sat at the opposite end of the table. Remus still found time to study with her, but again, it was only when James or Sirius were in detention or otherwise occupied. He would always give her an apologetic smile when he passed her, though.
There was a change in Severus over the next few days as well. If there were ever a time that Hermione was reminded of their surly potions master, this was it. He was quieter than usual, and unusually cool towards her. She saw him engage more with his Slytherin friends and spending fewer hours in the library with her. Their contact had become minimal, and she had the feeling that there was a part of himself that was deliberately hiding from her.
His aloofness allowed her to experience a little bit of what the other students saw in him. It became easy to see why there was so much suspicion of him and his association with the Dark Arts. He did know quite a lot, and it was quite clear that he was proud of that knowledge. He was downright terrifying at times.
Hermione kept having to remind herself that she had to allow history as it happened, but it was very difficult to not interfere. Every time she saw him with some of his housemates, she wanted to approach him and reassure him that she had sorted everything and he would be fine, but she didn't dare to. However, she was quite sure that Severus was well on his path to joining the Death Eaters now, as the company he was keeping included faces she recognized from Azkaban posters.
Despite what she knew it would bring, there was a sense of relief that he was continuing that path. While her presence in the past had had an impact on him, it had not had an impact on the big decisions he was making in his life.
Hermione knew that he was angry that the situation had once again made him feel so powerless. She would have preferred it had he just duelled with them again and had it out, but they invaded his personal space, his sanctuary, and interfered with his livelihood. He would not forgive them for that.
And, Hermione feared that there was a part of him that was annoyed that she had been the one to interfere and sort it out. Lily had done the same thing, hadn't she? And what had he done? But he had kept quiet this time - he had to - and Hermione had to do it to make sure they all didn't get expelled. His distance since the incident played on her mind and made her wonder if he wanted to continue with their relationship or if he was going to break off his relationship with her.
It was a week before Severus finally grabbed her hand and led her down a series of corridors to a door just around the corner from her own. He made a series of complicated movements with his wand as they approached and the door popped open, allowing them inside. He quickly spelled it closed behind them.
He stood awkwardly beside her as she surveyed the space. The potions side was pristine, and it appeared that he had already re-brewed the stock of stamina potions that had been smashed, but the sofa and table and chairs that they had used so often were pushed haphazardly to one side of the room.
"Are we okay, Severus?" she asked, turning to him.
It clearly was not what he expected her to say and he couldn't hide the look of surprise on his face.
"Okay? Yes - of course -" he hesitated. "I mean - if you still want - if you'll -" he stopped and took a deep breath. "I didn't know if you would want to be around me after some of the things they said. And the way I acted." His face slowly flushed red as the words tumbled out of his mouth.
He had been embarrassed.
She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her head against his chest. His heart was hammering.
"Why would I listen to anything those idiots said?" she asked.
He wrapped both arms around her and held her tightly, his hands stroking her hair where it fell down her back. She felt him kiss the top of her head.
"Thank you," he whispered.
They stayed wrapped in each others arms for a few moments before Hermione drew away from him. "Let's get this room into order, shall we?"
He nodded and by the end of the afternoon, they had a very cosy little sitting area for Hermione to stretch out in while he was brewing. She insisted that it would be an area perfect for revising, but he altered a few of her charms on the sofa to ensure that if their attention drifted from their studies and towards one another that they would remain comfortable.
His mood improved considerably over the next few days, just in time for the weekend.
On Saturday morning, she made her way down to the kitchens to request a flask of hot chocolate and some croissants before making her way out to the Quidditch pitch. She was thankful there had been a mild rain that had melted a majority of the snow. Although it was cold, it wasn't uncomfortable with a warming charm.
Severus' five-a-side team was finally playing their first match. The five-a-side system seemed to work well: teams were made up of a keeper, two chasers, and two beaters. The games were ruled by a timer rather than a seeker and they were mixed house teams, all the better to try to create interhouse relations. Also, house Quidditch players were barred from the teams, so there was little chance that Severus would come across James or Sirius. Though not as popular as the official house Quidditch matches, the stands were about half full, and there were a few professors watching as well.
She was impressed by how comfortable a flyer Snape was, though she knew she should have expected it. He did referee a Quidditch game in their first year - how could he have done that if not competent on a broom? He was playing as a chaser today, though she knew he was more comfortable playing as a keeper, and she could see why. She was continually surprised with the way his long arms always snatched the Quaffle from the air mid-toss when she was sure it would be out of his reach.
When the hour was finished, Severus' team emerged victorious, and every house was celebrating their team member's victory. Hermione had certainly enjoyed it more than the house matches - there was a lot less competition, and it was nice to hear everyone cheering rather than one side of the stadium.
She waited until the stands were clear before she made her way down to the field and waited for him to emerge from the dressing rooms.
"You're really handy with that broom," she said, when she saw him, offering him the flask.
He beamed at her before took a sip and a bite of the croissant she offered him. "Do you not fly?" he asked when he had swallowed.
She shook her head.
"Finally, something little miss isn't an expert in," he smirked. "Have you ever been up in the air for that long?"
She nodded.
"You just haven't been with the right person."
She rolled her eyes that something so stereotypical had come out of his mouth, but he was trying.
"Don't be so cocky," she said. She pulled the flask from him and took a drink. "I've ridden on a thestral. And a dragon."
He nearly choked on his croissant from her unexpected answer. "Now you're just saying ridiculous things to distract me." They stood in silence until they finished the flask. "Shall we have a go now?" he offered, gesturing to the broom under his arm. It wasn't anything fancy - just one of the school brooms.
Hermione felt the warmth from the drink fade from her face.
"Now?" she squeaked.
"Is there a better opportunity?" He held his hands out to the empty field before them.
She shook her head. "Oh, no -"
"Come on. I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be brave," he teased, nudging her lightly.
She took a deep breath and set the flask down. "You're going to have to carry my broken body back to Madam Pomfrey," she warned.
He grabbed her hand and they made their way onto the field. "You'll be fine. You're with me."
He held out the broom for her to mount.
"Am I not sitting behind you?" she asked hesitantly.
He shook his head. "You'll feel safer if you have more control."
She mounted the broom cautiously. Her knees were pushed together so tight that she was sure they would be bruised later. He slid onto the broom behind her, his chest against her back. He was tall enough to see comfortably over her shoulder. His arms were around her, and his hands were comfortably on the broom below her own.
"Okay, now, kick off," he instructed.
Hermione pushed up from the ground and the broom rose a few inches. If Severus stretched, the tips of his shoes would have brushed the grass. He gently angled the broom up and leaned forward. They ascended to where the lowest seats of the stands were.
"Is this okay?" he asked, his breath warm in her ear.
She nodded. She felt if she were to open her mouth that she would lose the food and drink they just consumed.
"Come on, Jean. Relax."
She took a deep breath and leaned back into him, directing the broom upwards. They gradually ascended until they were just above the stands. The steadiness of their flight gave her courage to make a slow lap around the stadium.
"How are you feeling?" he asked again.
"I think this is the smoothest ride I've been on so far," she nodded. "I'm afraid to go higher, though." They were reasonably protected from the elements within the stadium, but she saw the wind was blowing the clouds by quite quickly. If they rose higher, they would be right in the middle of it and it would be much harder to control the broom. She was thankful for the warming charms she had thought to apply to her cloak before coming out.
He encouraged her to try out a few moves, dipping the broom downwards and back up, and swerving from side to side. She drew the line at a barrel roll, though.
"Can we head back down now?" she gestured to some students who were beginning to go in and out of the changing rooms. "It looks like there's going to be a Quidditch practice. Ravenclaws, I think."
"It's up to you," he said, nodding to the broom. "You've been in control for a while now."
At some point in the last half hour, he had removed his hands. They were on her legs where his own had been pressing, so she hadn't noticed.
"If you want a quick descent, just point the broom down and pick it up before we crash land. Otherwise, just ease it down."
Although she briefly entertained the idea to spite him, she eased the broom down until her toes skimmed the grass. He unfolded his legs to keep them steady.
"I told you it wouldn't be so terrible," he said, dismounting.
"I think I'll always prefer apparition, but that was nice," she agreed, though she was thankful to be on the ground once more.
"Better than a thestral?" he asked as she followed him to the broom shed.
She waited until they were on their way back up to the school before answering. "Thestrals bob up and down so much when they flap their wings - it's a little sickening."
"I didn't think you were being serious!"
"Why would I lie?"
He stared at her. "Am I ever going to find out the story behind this?" he asked.
"You will someday, I'm sure."
"So, you can see thestrals?"
"I couldn't at the time. I can now." She remembered the shock of their appearance the first time she saw them, and their terrifying beauty.
"I'm sorry," he squeezed her hand.
She nodded.
"Can you?" she asked.
He nodded.
"I'm sorry, too."
"Were you joking about the dragon?" he asked.
She couldn't help the giggle that rose from her chest but couldn't meet his eyes.