Original Publishing Date: 12-01-19
Author Note: HELLO My LOVES! I would like to offer you all my sincerest apologies for such a spontaneous and lengthy hiatus, but trust me, it was well needed. I am back and I am thrilled to be where I belong again, even if I know that my body would not have forced this break if it weren't needed.
Now! The astonishing, incredible artists historysalt and mamma_peggs on Insta have created a month-full of Hamliza prompts, and I am participating in this challenge! I hope you all ready for a lot of fics to both participate in this challenge along with break up the constant Hamliza (because I still have other stories to write!), so now is a wonderful time for requests!
Without any further ado, I give you Day One: Cuddles!
Eliza's hands were clasped firmly around the emblems adorning her necklace, her eyes trained up at the ceiling as she listened to the sound of her husband showering. She was hardly able to wait for the impending event just a few days ago; she'd pictured it so clearly that it drove her positively wild. But now that she was here, waiting for him to come in and do the very thing that they'd been giggling and teasing each other about only hours earlier, she was afraid, and the very thought of her being nervous made her angry, and that only contributed to her overall distress. She was a mess and she hated it.
"What am I going to do?" She finally asked herself out loud, confident that her partner wouldn't hear over the drumming of the water and his own off-key humming. "I've been a wife for a total of eight hours, and I'm already shit at it! God help me."
The solitude was doing nothing for her nerves. She finally rolled onto her stomach, burying her face half-within one of the hotel pillows as she attempted to FaceTime her older sister. No answer; it stood to reason when Angelica and John were all over each other the entire reception, but it was still disappointing. She considered trying her mother next, as she knew that without a doubt that Catherine Van Rennselaer Schuyler was familiar with the act of being intimate, but the knowledge that bringing up something so personal would be mortifying for both of them made her keep scrolling through her contacts. Most of her other friends had families to tend to or were more than likely asleep, so she settled on trying her other closest-in-age sister despite the fact that Peggy was not married or even engaged. Somehow, Eliza had a hard time believing that her firecracker, much-desired Irish triplet hadn't been intimate with her long-term boyfriend, anyway, so maybe it didn't matter.
"Betsy?" Peggy answered on the third ring, her face alert and expression confused. "What are you doing calling me? Don't you have…things to do?"
"Margaret Schuyler!" Eliza squeaked in protest, her face igniting more deeply with a blush while her sister cackled. "You insufferable brat!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Peggy exclaimed as she flopped back, revealing that she herself was in bed with her shirtless boyfriend. "Say hi to John, Betsey!"
"Hi, John," Eliza said politely before growing more serious. "I called you for something important, Pegs…if you don't mind."
"Oh shoot, okay!" Her sister got to her feet in a roll, causing John to grunt softly and the phone to crackle painfully loud with how she shifted it along with her body. "Here, I'm going into the hallway now…Okay! What's up, Bets? Who do I have to beat up?"
"Nobody!" Eliza protested, but she couldn't help but to smile a little. "Look, I'm just…calling for some advice. I just need to talk about something, and for you listen to all of it before you tell me what you think. Can you do that for me?"
Peggy opened her mouth to respond, but she then shut it pointedly and gave her a quick nod. And so, hands and voice trembling, Eliza told her little sister everything. How'd she been imaging this for so, so long, and how the scenarios she came up with always left her red-faced and elated. How the whole day had felt like a fairytale come true, and how she and Alexander had been none too subtle with their innuendos and advances since they saw each other in their wedding outfits. How she'd been getting into her lingerie while he went to freshen up, and how doubt had gone from a small puddle in the back of her mind to a massive tsunami that wracked her entire body. The guilt she felt at feeling like she was betraying her brand-new husband, how she feared he'd be upset, how she detested herself for being this way. She even mentioned the tiny part of her that worried that this next act of union, the beginning of their honeymoon, wouldn't be all that she dreamed it be, and how it only made her feel worse.
When she finished her lament, the newly anointed Elizabeth Hamilton felt simultaneously so much better and all the worse. Her sister was silent for a few long moments after she finished talking, her expression hard to read but eyes distant with thoughtfulness. Eliza worried at her lower lip, her fingers releasing and gripping her necklace emblems repetitively until Peggy gave her a response.
"I honestly don't think it matters when you make love with the guy, Bets," Peggy said with none of the embarrassment that she herself had about the act of lovemaking. "If you love each other, sex is just another way to show it; it's not the end all, be all. It's kind of overrated, anyway."
"I know all of that, but what about Alexander? He's been wanting this just as badly as I have until now," Eliza reminded with a sigh. "I can't stand the thought of letting him down. I know it's silly to think he'd leave me over this, but…"
"No, no, just stop that! You know it's silly!" Her sister exclaimed with a dramatic wave of dismissal. "Why don't you just talk to him about it? I don't think one more night or however much longer is going to matter in the long run. If he's not stupid, he'll think the same, okay?"
"I…" The twenty-two-year-old began, but she allowed the statement to fade on her lips as the bathroom door clicked open and steam came rushing into the rest of the room.
"Just talk to him and keep me updated!" Evidently Peggy heard it too, because she was now heading back into whatever hotel room she'd rented with her lover and no longer paying full attention to her phone. "Love you!"
"Peg-" But the call was over, and all the newlywed woman was left with was her own darkened phone screen and the sound of her husband slowly approaching her from behind.
"Talk to me about what?" Alexander asked carefully, and Eliza could do little more than sigh in frustration before flopping her full weight back into the bed to avoid looking at him just yet. "Whoa, Betsey, what's wrong? Did I say something wrong? I know I was in there for a while, but I couldn't get all that makeup they put on me off without some serious scrubbing, and I thought you'd like it if I took the time to get the gel out of all of my hair-"
"No, no, it's nothing like that…" With a final sigh of resignation, Eliza turned back onto her back and sat up to properly face the man she was so in love with despite all of this internal conflict. "I- Wow, you're gorgeous."
For some reason, it hadn't occurred to her that he would likely only be coming out in a towel, but she certainly wasn't complaining. His dark red hair was a deeper auburn as it hung loose around his shoulders, and even in the dim light of the hotel room lights, his blue eyes sparkled as he looked down on her with concern. His upper torso was lean and taunt, but his stomach was pleasantly padded with a layer of fat, an indication that her and her mother's cooking really had ensured that his previously hunger-wracked frame was filled out. His tan skin was adorned with scars like cities on a map, most of them old and white, but at least the few that were fresher had been tended to with her nearby if not by her own hands. He was perfect, so perfect for her, and now so worried, all because she couldn't give him something so simple but so complicated. She could not help but feel with a harsh pang of sorrow that he may be happier with another woman, one who could give him what he so clearly desired and deserved.
"Betsy." Alexander came closer now, his towel sliding down his hips as he sat at her side. "You're too kind to me, but what were on the phone with your sister about? Please, talk to me."
"I…I…" Usually, she was confident and felt more at ease around him than she did with anybody else in the world, but now she felt as though her chest was tightening and she was growing smaller and smaller by the second as she thought about breaking the news to him.
That was before he pulled his arms around her, bringing her close to his side without setting her into his nearly naked lap. Despite his smaller frame, his hugs were warm and enveloped her perfectly, like they'd been made specifically to hold each other. Her body relaxed immediately, her face turning to nestle into his shoulder before she had a chance to internally debate whether or not this would somehow further lead him on to something she didn't want yet. He rested his chin on the top of her head just as naturally, one hand resting delicately on her lower back while the other secured her against his body.
"Hey," he murmured now, his breath warm against her glittery, smooth hair. "Whatever it is…We'll figure it out. We always have before; we always will be going forward. I, uh, have to admit that I didn't exactly see this coming, but that doesn't really matter. I'm here for you until my very last breath, and then forevermore once we reach the Promised Land. I have sworn it to you before and I shall every day until you shall never have to wonder of my sincerity again."
"You are such a poet, Mister Hamilton," Eliza teased affectionately as his words settled over her mind like a warm blanket. "You love to speak as though we are from olden days when you get romantic~"
"Anything for my loving drop of sunshine," Alexander outright gushed as he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I must treat you like the queen you are to me!"
She finally laughed and kissed him sweetly, but the doubt tugged hard on the base of her heart again as they pulled away and she looked deep into his eyes, and she finally resolved that it was now or ever. "Alex...Today has been practically perfect in every way. I could have never imagined how wonderful it would feel to marry the man I want to be with until the end of the universe and beyond, and how much more in love with you I could possibly be until I stood with you at the alter…I am absolutely smitten with you, Alexander James Hamilton-"
"As I am with you," he interjected sweetly, which did a lot to both make her heart flutter and break.
"…but I am not sure I am ready to bed you!" Eliza finally confessed, tears springing to her eyes as she buried herself more tightly into his arms. "I-I! It's n-nothing you did! As a matter of fact, y-you've done everything so right, but even though so much of me wants to make love to you more than anything else in the world, I…I'm so, so sorry, but I'm still nervous. I know you're probably disappointed, and I know we've been waiting for so long, but I just…can't help it. I'm so sorry."
For moments that felt like an eternity, he didn't move or say anything. Then, he lifted her up and away from her, laying her purposefully down on her back once more before getting up. Just as she was about to burst into sobs, something inside her beginning to open up and swallow her heart whole, he leaned in and gave her another kiss on the forehead, one so sweet and lengthy that it made the tears freeze in her eyes and her heartrate somewhat slow.
"Let me go get some pajamas on, then," Alexander said with a small but genuine smile that radiated even more warmth than his skin. "If it would be alright my darling wife, I'd love to cuddle you all night."
"Y…you're not upset?" Elizabeth could hardly believe it as she looked up at him, the moisture in her eyes slowly spilling out despite how she wasn't making any fresh tears.
He wiped them away at once, his smile fading with worry as he used his other hand to hold her own securely. "It would not be fair to lie to you and say that I wasn't looking forward to making love with the woman I married. On that same breath, however, that is nothing at all compared to the comfort and safety of my dearest Eliza. I shall wait a thousand years if you tell me you'd prefer it! The thing that matters to me is that you are happy, and that you are just as excited and happy as me when…or even if we should ever know each other in that way. Nothing at all matters to me."
"But you deserve to be happy, too! You deserve to love me in the ways you want!" Eliza said sorrowfully, cupping his face with her hands as a final tear streaked down her cheek. "It is not as though I don't trust and adore you with my entire being…I don't know what's wrong with me, my Hamilton."
"Nothing at all is wrong with you. We are all ready at different times; I am sure of it," Alexander insisted with all the easy confidence that he loved to show off to everyone. "I am no hurry, my most beloved Betsy. We have the rest of our lives, after all."
She was the luckiest woman in the world, she was sure of it. She smiled up to him with pure adoration and trust, her arms founding her way around his neck as she kissed him so deeply and for so long that they were both breathless when they eventually broke away. As he dressed into silky green pajamas, she got up herself and dropped the fluffy, pale green robe that had been hiding. The lingerie she'd picked out was made up of a corset, straight-blacked and toned a deep, royal blue where they weren't black ribbons and lacy black patterns. Her breasts was nicely held up, of course, and she had to admit that she enjoyed the amount of support that it provided while still making her feel sexy and confident. Her hips and bottom were clad with black shorts that only came around halfway down her thighs, and beneath that, a pair of panties that matched her corset were peeking out from how the shorts had ridden down in her tossing and turning.
Once Alexander turned around, his face damn near matched his normal shade of hair, but the wide grin he wore fully assured her that this was hardly a negative reaction. He slowly made his way over to her, his eyes lidded as he knelt at the bedside and took her hand in both of his own to kiss her knuckles tenderly. Her own gaze grew sultrier and more suggestive as she sat on the edge of the bed, her hair falling over her shoulder and into his face as she guided his mouth against her exposed chest. His kisses trailed from between her breasts, up to her collarbone and across her neck until she was quietly moaning and warm with the feeling of want between them that was familiar as his careful but skillful touch.
"Alexander," she murmured.
That was all she had to say. He pulled himself into the bed, laying onto his side in order to pull his arms around her. She switched off the main lights, leaving on the bedside light on its lowest setting before sliding in between the sheets and into his arms. He smelled like aloe and vanilla, and his skin had not quite yet lost the pliant warmth from his shower, so she practically melted into him. She laced her around him, her fingertips tracing directionless patterns across his back as her legs carefully intertwined across and between his. He pressed his forehead on the top of her head, their breathing slowly sinking with each other's as they laid still, soaking in each other and the pleasant silence of the room.
Eliza wasn't sure when she fell asleep, but when she woke up, the sun outside was casting sleepy circles of yellow across the room. Alexander was still holding her as she held him, and though she could tell he was awake by the way he was breathing, she didn't want to break the serene stillness quiet yet. Somewhere outside, birds began to rouse and call out their morning songs. Cars occasionally drifted by, some more audible than others. From where her face was nestled against his neck and shoulder, she watched as the spots of sunlight slowly, ever so slowly, moved from their places as the sun began to rise higher and higher. She was certain she could spend the rest of their happy union in this cuddling embrace, even if her body was beginning to disagree too loudly to ignore. She was at least comforted by the unspoken knowledge that the feeling was mutual from him.
"Betsy…I would hate to offend you, but I need the bathroom," Alexander finally mumbled.
"I do too," she admitted reluctantly. "But I am tempted to beg you to stay regardless."
"You need not beg for a thing. All that I am, I give to you," he murmured affectionately, kissing her forehead, then her nose, across her cheeks, and finally her lips.
"And I give all that I am to you," she replied in the same soft, sleep-laced voice.
Before he could fully rouse, she decided to pull herself from his arms, sliding one leg over his hips until she was straddling him fully. Her Alexander looked to her with a mixture of surprise and amusement, and she could only chuckle before kissing him with all the pent-up feelings that could not be realized underneath all of her previous self-doubt. His hands slowly made their way up the backs of her thighs, then higher, and she smiled and giggled mischievously and kissed him further until they were both quite breathless and giddy.
He was her Hamilton, and she was his Betsey. Tonight, they would make love. A bit earlier than that, they'd make their dinner reservations, and perhaps go shopping on the town of this beautiful island. But for now, they were returning from the bathroom for more cuddles and kisses, and that was just as perfect as everything else.