Do Not Go Gentle

Chapter 19: When It's Not All Black And White

"So, I heard from my brother that you were arguing with Lord Glorfindel last night."

I looked up from the book I was struggling to read, blatantly ignoring the suggestive smirk plastered on Alma's face. When did she get all this confidence, anyway? "You should know by now that I argue with everyone, Alma."

Her grin was both bright and annoying. "Not everyone is Lord Glorfindel, Persie."

The elven test below me was suddenly becoming a lot more interesting. "Can you help me understand this book, now?"

She leaned back in her seat, the sly grin still curled on her lips. "Why are you trying to change the subject?"

"Why is this even a subject?"

Alma didn't acknowledge my question. "Why was Lord Glorfindel so mad at you? My brother told me that Lord Geoffry ran out as soon as things started to become intense."

I pursed my lips, remembering the light pain in my chest that came when Goldilocks went and called me a coward. That was one thing I will never be able to handle being called. I'm a hero. I've always been a hero. I'm not a coward.

"I'd rather not talk about it," I decided. "Now, what about-"

"But I wonder why he was so mad at you in the first place," she continued, completely ignoring the glare I shot her way. "He had no reason to be, after all, you did save Lord Elladan's life with your quick thinking."

I let out a sigh, placing my head in my hands with a soft groan. Alma was supposed to be teaching me how to read and speak Sindarin, and here she was, trying to get some juicy gossip out of me like some sort of old lady. But, I guess, in some ways, she really is an old lady.

We were in the library again, which ended up becoming our normal spot to focus on my studies. It was possible that I was slightly in a bad mood because Gerda made me wear a dress today, hiding all of the pants that were in my rooms to force me to put one on. I was slightly impressed at her deviousness but wished it wasn't targeted at me.

The dress was oddly comfortable, which did a little to bother me because I found myself actually enjoying the open air and non-restrictive fabric. Not that I'd ever chosen to wear a dress in the first place, but I suppose this one wasn't that bad. Especially because it was blue.

"Look, Alma, Goldilocks and I have had a rough relationship in the past, especially because I kicked his ass in the training arena. It's only natural that he'd find any way to get back at me," I told her. "I'm sure there's nothing to read in to, here."

Alma shrugged, turning back to the parchment she was looking at. "I suppose you might be right. It is just odd that he would get worked up over you defending us. I have never heard of him acting out in such a way."

I watched her fiddle with the ink pen for a few moments, before turning back to try and read what was below me. It was starting to become even harder to focus, considering what I had just discovered. Was there actually something different in the way Goldilocks acted last night? Why would he act differently over something I did?

There was a pattern that was starting to develop, and I didn't know if it was good or not. Goldilocks had a habit of getting annoyed with me much easier than he did anyone else; one would think the person in charge of training the twin princes would be fine with me but I guess not.

At least it ended rather well.

But Alma didn't need to know that. At least, not yet. Not while this whole thing between Goldielocks and I is so confusing.

"Did he tell you what he was mad about?"

I sent a halfhearted glare her way. "Of course not. If he did, I wouldn't be so confused in the first place!"

Alma shrugged. "I am just trying to help you, mellon nin."

"It would help if you could teach me how to read this book."

She peered down at the Sindarin script before slowly turning her head back up to meet my gaze. "You are reading about the origins of orcs?"

"Well, know thy enemy, right?" I shrugged, before flushing slightly at her furrowed brows. "Eh, it's a saying from my world I guess."

Alma nodded slowly, turning her eyes back to the text. "Did you have to study much on your enemies back in your world?"

I grinned. "If I didn't, I would most likely die trying to figure out how to kill them."

"Are you telling me you are good at research?"

I let out a dry peel of laughter. "I had friends who were great at research," I corrected. "My best friend, Annabeth, she used to read countless accounts in different languages so she would always be prepared."

"She sounds like a very good friend to have," Alma said, smiling softly.

"She was."

I sent a silent thanks to whatever god was listening as Alma skillfully changed the topic. I knew if it were anyone else, their curiosity may have gotten the better of them, but luckily she was smart enough to know my tells.

"At least now I can help you with research!" she exclaimed, pulling the book over to where she was sitting at my right. "You need not try to figure all this out on your own, you have friends here to help you."

I smiled. "Thanks, Alma."

She nodded kindly before starting to read silently to herself, using her pointer finger to tap her mouth as she digested the information. Her eyes snapped to mine, and I noticed how wide they had become.

"It says here that Orcs were created by the first Dark Lord, Morgoth, and served as his foot soldiers and faithful servants," Alma started. "The orcs served the Dark Lord and his later successor, Sauron, in their quest to dominate middle-earth."

"Who are Morgoth and Sauron?" I asked, before pursing my lips. "Are they going to be any trouble?"

"Luckily Sauron was destroyed ages ago," Alma said. "Morgoth, even ages before his predecessor."

"Do we know who they follow, now?" I asked, crossing my arms in front of my chest. "If Sauron is gone, then Orcs should not be as collected as they seem to be."

"That is something I have no answer to," Alma admitted. "Perhaps you will need to question Lord Glorfindel-"

"His name now is actually Goldilocks-"

"Or Lord Elrond?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'll wait until his son isn't about to die, thank you very much."

She huffed. "Lord Elladan is not about to die, as I have said before, Persie. You're just making excuses."

"Is it so bad that I want to be able to learn all of this for myself? The Valar sent me here to save everyone-"

"They sent you here to help us," Alma cut in. "We have been fighting against orcs, goblins, and other creatures since before the ages. You were brought here to aid us in this fight against evil, not do it all yourself."

My head felt like it was about to explode, and I let out a long sigh. "Look, it's just that I don't really know why I was brought here, and I'm starting to second guess my decision to agree to this in the first place."

Alma turned to me curiously. "Does this have anything to do with what happened to Lord Elladan?"

I folded my arms on the table before letting my head plop down dramatically in their wake. "I don't know."

"My brother claims you were extraordinarily powerful, mellon. I believe you are focusing too much on your weaknesses and not at all on your strength."

I turned my head to the side to peer up at her warily. "It's hard to think about my strengths when all I can see are the weaknesses."

She tilted her head. "I will think on this, and later we will work to fix this little error in your self-awareness."

"Yeah, yeah, can you continue to read this for me, please?"

Alma giggled slightly before nodding to me and started to read the text again. "Apparently Morgoth was one of the first to learn about the wakening of the elves in Middle Earth, and for those who strayed too far away from the group, he would capture them and…"

I sat up straight, seeing the distress on my friend's face. "And what?"

Alma looked back up with horrified eyes. "Morgoth would cruelly torture these elves and then turn them into orcs to harm their kin."

Letting out a breath, I fell back into the chair. "You said Morgoth was gone, right?"

She nodded slowly. "What I know is that Morgoth was cast into the void by his brethren after the terrible deeds he committed in the First Age."

"That sounds frighteningly familiar," I grumbled. "Is there chance he would rise again?"

Alma looked at me warily. "Of course there is, if you choose to believe that the valar are unable to properly cast him away."

I thought back to the Valar I have met, and chose to think that they might be able to hold their end of the good fight. "Sure."

The blonde nodded, looking back down at the book and flicking forward a few pages. "It also talks of Sauron, Morgoth's favored Lieutenant, and how he rose to power after his master's fall."

"Why was he so favored?" I asked.

Alma continued to read, and shrugged. "It does not share that information, mellon."

"Sauron was originally one of the Maiar, and trained underneath Aulë as a smith," a voice chimed from the entrance of the library.

"Master Finalfon, I was not aware you would be here this early," Alma stuttered, a flush slowly starting to come onto her cheeks.

Fin smiled at my friend softly

But the starry-eyed smiles they were giving each other suddenly started to make me feel awkward. So, doing what most people would do in my situation, I faked a cough or two... or three.

They were extremely startled by my interruption to say the least.

I had to bite my cheek to hide the shit-eating-grin that threatened to take over my face. "Hey, what's cookin?"

The blonde elf tilted his head curiously. "I do not think anything is currently cooking, Lady Persephone."

"She uses that phrase as an other-worldly euphemism," Alma explained, waving a dismissive hand in my direction. "You will learn to ignore her oddities."

I let out a gasp in outrage. "Oddities? Alma, you are so not my bestest friend anymore."

"Bestest is not even a word, Persie. Besides, there are no words equal to our friendship anyway," Alma covered, clasping her hands calmly on top of the book in front of her. "You would not be able to read about your newfound enemies if it were not for me."

I rolled my eyes with a deep sigh. "You never learn, Alma. I always have a plan. Finny-Boy over there could help me if you don't," I said, gesturing to the stiff ellon who was still standing in the doorway. "Are you stuck in that spot, or something?" I asked him.

He blinked.

"His name is not "Finny boy" or whatever you seem to like to call him in your brain, Persie," Alma chided, before whispering to me, "Do not scare him off, I need to be on his good side to impress Lord Erestor."

Fin had started his walk toward our table, albeit unsure in his approach, but I was pleased that my sarcasm hadn't scared the guy off. He seems to have information that I want, and I have plans to get it one way or another.

I would rather not have to torture his poor soul as I am far too tired for such things, so I decided to try to be nice.

"Sup."

Alma bit her lip to hide a smile. "She is asking you how you are, Sir Finalfon."

The blonde elf shifted his eyes between the two of us warily. "I am well, thank you."

I nodded, before leaning back in my seat and narrowed my eyes at him. "What brings you here? Alma and I did not have anything scheduled with you today."

He fidgeted uncomfortably under my gaze. "I often come to the library when I have no appointments."

I raised a brow. "Are you sure you're not trying to spy on us?"

Alma coughed next to me, and quickly hid her face behind her arm and I could hear the faint sound of suppressed giggles.

"If I were trying to spy on you, why would I make my presence known?"

Ah, the elf has got a point.

"Fine. As long as you're here, you might as well help me," I decided, shifting to grab the book out from Alma's reach and slid it over to his side of the table. "What can you tell me about Sauron? Alma isn't giving me much to go by."

His fair eyebrows furrowed. "Why exactly are you wishing to know this information?"

I blinked. "Obviously I want to join him, duh."

Fin's eyes widened and Alma let out a muffled and unlady-like snort behind her hands.

"Wh-Why would-"

"She is not being serious," Alma took him out of his misery while throwing me a light hearted admonishing glance. "Lady Persephone is just jesting in poor taste."

I cracked a grin at the now perturbed elf. "She's got me there."

He sighed, before leaning down to look at me seriously. "Do you want to know more, or do you want to rely on the limited information that Lady Almarian can ensure you?"

Alma's mouth dropped, but Fin seemed to save himself by giving her a white grin. "I am sure she can give you various information about these histories even though it is not her prided subject, yes, but as elven history is my specialty I would tread lightly."

He seemed to have both saved his ass and handed me mine in a single sentence. What a jerk.

"I can tread water just fine, thank you very much." I snagged the book back into my hands and held it to my chest protectively.

Fin rolled his eyes and plopped down in the chair across from me. "Avoidance will not help you this time, Milady. Now, what is it that you wish to know?"

I bit my lip, taking a second to reign in my wild thoughts. "So, uh, what exactly happened to Sauron that made him go all dark side?"

I chose to ignore his obvious annoyance at my lack of proper phrasing. "That is something that many believe is the fault of Morgoth, who fed Sauron with distaste and anger toward the Valar, and played a part in his fall."

"Is everything in the histories here that black and white?"

Fin's eyebrows crinkled. "What do you mean?" I could tell that question caught Alma's attention, too, by the look of confusion she wore.

"Not everything is always good versus evil, Finny-Boy," I affirmed. "There are a lot more things that go into the fall of someone as powerful as Morgoth and Sauron."

He pointed a finger at me. "First of all, do not call me Finny-Boy, as that is not my name." One of his brows rose, as his annoyance turned into curiosity. "And second of all, you sound like you have seen this happen before."

I paused.

Blue eyes turning gold flashed before me.

I swallowed. "Unfortunately I have."

Fin let out a low hum, and I was shocked as a soft look came through his gaze. "I am sorry for your loss, Lady Persephone."

"How did you know-"

He cracked a grin. "One with the look of pain on their face that matches your own would have seen and felt horrors that could cause an elf to fade." I felt a stinging in my eyes as Alma's hand grabbed onto mine. "I am deeply sorry for whatever or whoever you lost that has caused you such pain."

My eyes turned down toward the book in my lap, and I saw that a few tears had fallen and now were streaming down upon the cover. "Thank you."

Alma let out a cough next to me. "Is there anything else you would like to know, Persie?"

I took a deep breath to try and center myself like Lord Elrond had taught me to. "I think that is all for today," I said, silently cursing myself for the wavering in my voice. "I appreciate your help, both of you."

Fin tilted his head, a crooked smile forming on his lips. "That might have been the first kind thing you have ever said to me, Milady."

I let out a choked laugh. "If you're not careful, that'll be the last kind thing you'll hear, too."

"Lady Almarian, Sir Finalfon? May I ask for Lady Persephone to be excused from her lessons?"

We all turned to face the door where another figure waited patiently. I smiled at the sight of another friend of mine. "Hey, Gerds! What's going on?"

Fin groaned, and Alma didn't try to stop her laugh at his expense. Gerda softly smiled, folding her hands in front of her, always taking her position while working seriously. "Lady Arwen is waiting for you in your chambers-"

"Wait, what?"

Alma snorted in her laughter, and I elbowed her to get her to stop.

Gerda stood there patiently. "Lady Arwen is going to help you prepare for tonight, Milady."

My smile slowly faded into a grimace. "What exactly is tonight?"

Poor Gerda turned to Alma in question. "You did not tell her?"

My blonde friend winced slightly. "I forgot!"

I smacked her arm. "What did you not tell me?"

She glared. "Violence does not solve things, Persie!"

I just whacked her again. "It does when I'm annoyed with you!"

Fin held up his hands to try to get us to stop. "Ladies, please-"

Alma and I turned to him, fire obviously in our eyes. "You're not a part of this," I snapped, before turning back to Alma. "What did you forget, exactly? Why is Arwen waiting for me?"

She smiled wryly. "Well, Lord Elrond might have decided to throw a feast in your honor-"

"What!"

"Because you saved his son-"

"It wasn't just me-"

"It also helps to show the council members of your bravery and skill-"

"Kill me now-"

"Lady Persie, please calm yourself down," Gerda interrupted as she gilded to our table. "You will go to this feast, be proud of the honor that Lord Elrond has bestowed upon you, and you will do us all a favor and be willing to let others celebrate your achievements."

I raised my brows. "Wow, Gerds-"

"She is right, Lady Persephone. You will go to the feast and show Lord Elrond's council your strength and courage for the service you have done for Imladris," Fin insisted, cutting me off from another dumb thing I would have said.

"But-"

"Enough with the excuses, Persie. It's time to show them all what you're really made of," Alma insisted. "It's time to show those in the council who do not trust you why they should start doing so."

I threw my head back and let out a loud groan. "Do I really have to?"

Gerda grabbed my arm, yanking me out of my seat. "Oh, come on, Lady Persie, we must not keep Lady Arwen waiting for so long-"

"Novear, Alma," I waved back to her as I was being dragged out of the library, before turning to do the same to the male elf. "See ya on the flip side, Finny-Boy!"

I couldn't help but giggle at the loud groan that I heard as we walked down the hall.

"I told you not to call me that!"