John pinned up the last of his things to the wall around us. The entire culmination of his twenty year hunt. A lot of the papers were newer than the rest.
"So this is it. This is everything I know." John explained. "Look, our whole lives we've been searching for this demon right? Not a trace, just...nothing. Until about a year ago. For the first time I picked up a trail."
"And that's when you took off." Dean reasoned.
"Yeah. That's right. The demon must have come out of hiding, or hibernation." John suspected/
"All right so what's this trail you found?" Dean asked.
"It starts in Arizona, then New Jersey, California. Houses burned down to the ground." John reported. He eyed us. "It's going after families, just like it went after us."
"Families with infants?" Sam guessed.
"Yeah. The night of the kid's six-month birthday." John clarified.
"We were six months old that night?" Sam asked, surprised.
"Exactly six months." John confirmed.
'Wow- it's almost like Azazel planned it like that.'
"Anything connecting the families before that?" I asked. "Cause we've seen another family- there was only one son. So it can't be that they have multiple children."
"No connection that I could see." John answered.
"What was their social class?" I prompted.
"Mostly working class." John answered. "A few times there were more middle and upper class, but mostly the lower classes."
'Okay...okay...families that would be more likely to be watching their children, rather than have them under the care of nannies or the like. Parents that would check if they heard a noise in the nursery. It says nothing about the parents that don't check, the 6-month olds that have psychic powers but no dead parents.'
So that lead's a bust.
"So basically, this demon is going after these kids for some reason." Sam snarked. "The same way it came for us? Came for me? So Mom's death...Jessica. It's all because of me?"
'...I wanna say he's wrong.
Only all of this was to create an army for the Apocalypse.
That Sam is supposed to lead.
As Lucifer's vessel.
And Azazel only killed Jessica to get Sam started hunting again.
So...it is his fault...but I can't just say that.
That would be cruel.'
"We don't know that for sure." I ended up saying.
"Oh really? Cause I'd say we're pretty damn sure Raven." Sam snapped.
"For the last time, what happened to them was not your fault." Dean argued.
"Right. It's not my fault but it's my problem." Sam shouted.
"No it's not your problem, it's our problem!" Dean shouted back.
"Okay. That's enough. Everyone takes a breath and calms down." John scolded.
The boys stopped their fight.
"We still don't know why he's doing all of this. The pattern says it's not random. In all the cases you have here, none of them have the infants dying. The mother dies, yes, or the father, but never the baby. It's all about the kids. What does he want from them?" I asked, despite knowing well and good what Azazel wanted.
"Look I wish I had more answers, I do." John replied to me. "I've always been one step behind it. Look, I've never gotten there in time to save-" He stopped, looking down at his research.
"All right so how do we find it...before it hits again." Dean asked, trying to get his dad out from his grief.
John took a breath. "There's signs. It took me a while to see the pattern but it's there in the days before these fires signs crop up in an area. Cattle deaths, temperature fluctuations, electrical storms. And then I went back and checked...and..."
"These things happened in Lawrence." Dean finished.
"A week before your mother died. And in Palo Alto...before Jessica." He looked to Sam, apologetic. "And these signs, they're starting again."
"Where." Sam prompted.
"Salvation, Iowa." John reported.
==DG==
We were driving towards Salvation. It would be a day of driving- there wasn't time for much else. John pulled off to the side of the road. We were halfway there so it checked out.
Dean pulled the Impala off too.
John climbed out of his car. The boys and I did too, watching John in confusion. "God damn it!"
'Yes...blame Chuck for your problems.'
"What is it?" Dean asked.
"Son of a bitch." John ranted. He stomped his foot. His phone was clenched in his hands, like he was about to throw it down.
"What is it!" Dean insusted.
John huffed, he lowered his hand to his side. "I just got a call from Caleb."
"Is he okay?" Dean asked.
"He's fine. Jim Murphy's dead." John supplied.
I hid a grimace. All the better that I hadn't slept on the way over, then.
"Pastor Jim? How?" Sam asked.
"His throat was slashed. He bled out." John admitted. The boys looked upset at the news. "Caleb said they found traces of sulfur at Jim's place."
"A demon, then." I stated.
John nodded.
"The Demon?" Dean suspected.
John "I don't know. Could be he just got careless, he slipped up." John excused. He looked away, thoughtful. "Maybe the demon knows we're getting close."
"What do we do?" Dean requested.
"Now we act like every second counts. There's two hospitals and a health centre in this county." John explained. "We split up, cover more ground. I want records. I want a list of every infant that's going to be six months old in the next week."
"Dad, that could be dozens of kids." Sam pointed out. "How do we know which one's the right one?"
"We check 'em all, that's how. You got any better ideas?" John questioned.
Sam made a face- he didn't like it, but we were low on options. "No sir."
John turned to me. "And you? Any smart ads comments?"
'Was that a request, sir? I can make some for you, sir. If that would please you, sir.'
But Dean wouldn't like those answers.
"...no sir." I replied.
John nodded. Matter handled, he walked back to his seat. He paused.
Dean noticed. "Dad?"
"Yeah. It's Jim. You know, I can't-" John stopped, pursing his lips. "This ends, now. I'm ending it. I don't care what it takes."
'Neither do I.
I've just gotta wait three days.'
==DG==
John went to one hospital. Dean went to another. Sam and I went off together, to the health centre. It had worked out in our favor, really.
There were a lot of names to go through. If we didn't run into Monica soon, combined with the names Dean and John must've found, we'd be searching for days.
Sam and I walked out from the health center. As soon as we were out, Sam clutched at his head.
My arm reached out for him. "Sa-" A sharp pain shot through my head. I yelped in pain, falling to my knees.
Monica looking out a window-
A train-
Music box-
Azazel.
Fire.
Pain
Pain
Painpain-
I groaned as I came out from it. "Sam?" I croaked.
"I'm here." Sam confirmed, sounding just as pained as I did.
"Did we-?"
"It happened again." Sam confirmed. He helped me to my feet. Apparently it had hurt me more than him.
I swore under my breath.
"Was there a train?" Sam checked.
"Yeah- I heard it too." I nodded. "Close to the house."
Sam handed me the notebook. I took it, letting him search his bag's pockets. Soon enough he pulled out a map.
==DG==
The two of us ran to the park closest to the train tracks. I was checking the notebook, cross referencing the street names with the streets closest to the tracks.
Sam was pointing at another street when it hit again.
"Gah-" I clutched my head, hearing music from Rosie's music box.
"Raven-" Sam reached for me. His expression closed in pain.
Monica-
Monica-
The window-
PainpainpainPAIN
When the flashes ended, I was back on the park. Sam was rubbing at his temple. I was itching for some heavy duty pain killers.
Across the street with saw it- the Holt house. Monica's house. Azazel's next target.
On the sidewalk, Monica was pushing a stroller. There was an open umbrella in her hand.
Sam and I didn't even need to discuss our next move. We'd already crossed the street.
"Hi. Here, let me hold that for you. You look like you don't need that anymore." Sam suggested. He took hold of the stroller.
Monica smiled, grateful. "Oh. Thanks." She closed her umbrella.
I looked into the stroller. Baby Rosie was sitting patiently, eyeing us with big blue eyes. "She's perfect. Sorry to ruin the surprise, but his baby is perfect." I praised.
Sam looked too. "She's gorgeous. Is she yours?"
Monica tucked the umbrella away in the stroller. "Yeah."
"She's perfect." I praised again. I turned to Rosie, waving my hand. "Hi."
"Oh wow, hi!" Sam paused. "Oh sorry, we're being rude. I'm Sam, this is Raven. We just moved in up the block." Sam introduced us.
"Hi. I'm Monica. This is Rosie." Monica introduced.
"Rosie? Hi Rosie." Sam greeted.
"Hello there."
Rosie kept a watchful, old soul sort of look at us. Judging is for all actions hence and post. She was good at judgy, like really good, without saying a single thing.
"So, welcome to the neighborhood." Monica greeted, cheerful.
"You know, she's a really good baby." I noted. "Hasn't made a beep!"
"I know, I mean she...she never cries." Monica admitted. "She just stares at everybody. Sometimes she looks at you and I swear it's...it's like she's reading your mind."
"It does feel like that." I agreed. "How long have you lived here? Is it good?"
"My husband and I, we bought our place just before Rosie was born." Monica explained. "It's been great. The people are nice."
"How old is she though?" I asked.
"She's six months today." Monica answered. San and I both felt pits of dread in our stomachs. "She's big right? Growing like a weed."
"Yeah." Sam and I mused. We looked at each other, then the baby.
If we failed tonight
She would be another one of the psychic children.
One of the many in Azazel's future generations.
Five years old by the time the Apocalypse came around.
Not a chance anything was happening to her. Or her mother.
"Monica..." Sam began.
"Yeah?"
"It's-" Sam hesitated.
I put a hand on his wrist. We had to talk with John and Dean first. Sam agreed.
"Just ahhh, just take care of yourself okay?"
"Yeah, you too, Sam." Monica gave us both small nods, looking slightly less sure of us than before. Still, she walked away without a sense of panic. "We'll see you around." She walked up to her house. A van was pulling into the house. "There's Daddy!"
As she and her family walked to their home, the vision started in full.
It ended with Monica on her ceiling, her stomach bleeding red and Rosie crying into the night.
==DG==
"A vision." John repeated flatly.
We had met up with them at a new motel. I handed Sam a couple painkillers, and a bottle of water. He accepted them, grateful. I popped a few myself, rubbing my skull in hopes of stopping the pain.
He swallowed the dose, letting out a groan. "Yes. We saw the demon burning a woman on the ceiling."
"Cut her up too." I added, grimacing as it flashed in my mind again. "That poor baby..."
"And you think this is going to happen to this woman you met because-" John began, sounding doubtful.
"Because these things happen exactly the way we see them." Sam argued.
"It started out as nightmares." Dean informed his dad. He got up from his sink, walking over to the small kitchen. "Then it started happening while they were awake." He made himself some coffee.
I would rather gas something to drink. Guess we can't be choosers, huh?
"Yeah. It's like the closer I get to anything to do with the demon the stronger the visions get." Sam explained. "Raven has them different though."
"Mine are just for any case we have." I admitted. "I'd see them in my dreams, then again the next day when Sam or Dean found them in the news. Then again and again until we stopped whatever it was that was killing people. If I slept last night, I would've watched Pastor Jim while he..."
John took all this in. He didn't like any of this. He seemed to be recalling other details about the kids, all of their cases of psychic powers. He remembered how a lot of them turned out.
He was figuring out what he would confirm with Azazel in three days. Figuring out the level of threat from his own kids. "Alright. When were you going to tell me about this?"
"We didn't know what it meant." Dean excused.
He scoffed. "Alright, something like this starts happening to your brother and sister, you pick up the phone and you call me." John ordered.
Dean dumped his coffee in the sink. He marched closer to John, glowering. "Call you? Are you kidding me? Dad, I called you from Lawrence all right? I called you were their dreams started coming true." Dean reminded him. "I mean, getting you on the phone? I got a better chance of winning the lottery."
John had the decency to be chided. He lowered his head, realizing that maybe keeping his kids on radio silence for a year was a bad thing. "You're right. Although I'm not too crazy about this new tone of yours, you're right. I'm sorry."
"While I'm all for this- we have a bigger issue here." I reminded them.
"Look guys, visions or no visions, fact is, we know the demon is coming tonight." Sam warned. "And this family's gonna go through the same hell we went through."
"No they're not. No one is, ever again." John promised.
Sam's phone rang. He accepted the call, a confused look on his face. "Hello?...who is this?...Meg."
Dean and I shot up. It took John a second to remember the name, but when he did, he quickly saw the danger.
"Last time I saw you you fell out of a window." Sam replied. "Just your feelings? That was a seven-story drop...My Dad. I don't know where my Dad is."
John held out his hand.
Sam glanced at the hand before giving him the phone.
I shifted, moving closer to where Sam was sitting.
"This is John." He walked further away from us. He paused, as Meg revealed she had killed Pastor Jim. "I'm here...Caleb?"
Sam and Dean react to the name instantly, going on alert.
"You listen to me. He's got nothing to do with anything. You let him go." John ordered. "I don't know what you're talking about...Caleb. Caleb!...I'm gonna kill you, you know that?"
John is quiet, thinking. The boys are close by his side. John "Okay…I said okay, I'll bring you the Colt...It's gonna take me about a days drive to get there...That's impossible. I can't get there in time and I can't just carry a gun on the plane."
John lowered the phone, clapping it back into Sam's hand. In clipped words, he explained what happened. Including the moment when Meg had killed Caleb. John went about to gather his belongings.
"So you think Meg is a demon?" Sam asked.
"Either that, or she's possessed by one." John reasoned. He shook his head, throwing his bag over his shoulder. "It doesn't really matter."
"Then what does?" I questioned.
"I'm going to Lincoln." John told us.
"What?" Dean gawked.
"It doesn't look like we have a choice. If I don't go, a lot of people die, our friends die." John explained.
"Dad, the demon is coming tonight. For Monica and her family." Sam insisted. "That gun is all we got, you can't just hand it over."
"Who said anything about handing it over." John countered. "Look, besides us and a coupla of dead vampires no ones really seen the gun, no one knows what it looks like."
"You're gonna give them a fake?" I asked. "What, you'll show them a fake from a pawn shop then hope for the best?
"Antique store." John admitted. "Look, as long as it's close, she shouldn't be able to tell the difference."
"Yeah but for how long?" Dean questioned. "What happens when she figures it out?"
"I just...I just need to buy a few hours, that's all." John excused.
"You mean for Dean, Raven, and me." Sam realized. "You want us to stay here, and kill this demon by ourselves?"
"No Sam." John interrupted. "I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school, I want Raven to have a life, I want Dean to have a home. I want...I want Mary alive. It's just...I just want this to be over."
==DG==
Dean was the one to find the copy.
He met up with us by an old bridge on the edge of town. Dean pulled up behind us, climbing out.
"You get it?" John asked.
Dean showed them a brown paper bag, wrapped around the gun. John pulled out an old fashioned revolver.
"You know this is a trap don't you. That's why Meg wants you to come alone?" Dean stated.
"I can handle her." John assured. "I got a whole arsenal loaded. Holy water, Mandaic, amulets."
"Dad." Dean began, stopping himself from saying more.
John turned the fake Colt in his hands. "What?"
"Promise me something." Dean asked.
"What's that." John replied.
"This thing goes south just...get the hell out. Don't get yourself killed all right, you're no good to us dead." Dean requested.
"Same goes for you." John promised. He went back into his serious mode, giving us a level glare. "All right listen to me. They made the bullets special for this Colt. There's only four of them left. Without them this gun is useless. You make every shot count."
I nodded.
"Yes sir." Sam nodded.
"Been waiting a long time for this fight. Now it's here I'm not gonna be in it." John mused. "It's up to you kids now. It's your fight, you finish this. You finish what I started. Understand?"
He handed Dean the real gun. Dean watched the gun in awe.
"We'll see you soon, Dad." Sam promises.
John gave him a somber nod. "I'll see you later." He climbed into his truck. Without looking back, he drove off.
"Later." Dean mumbled. I was unsure if he meant it as a reply to John, or as a question of it John actually would come back later.
==DG==
Now we were sitting in the Impala, across the street from Monica's house. The Holt's were inside, casually enjoying a nice peaceful dinner.
It was easier for them.
That had no idea of the horror that would finish off their night.
"Maybe we could tell em it was a gas leak. Might get em out of the house for a few hours." Sam suggested.
"Yeah and how many times has that actually worked for us?" Dean pointed out.
"Not often." I replied.
"Not at all." Dean corrected.
"Yeah." Sam looked over to the house. "We could always tell 'em the truth."
The three of us exchanged looks.
Then we burst out laughing. "Nah!"
"I know, I know." Sam waved off the laughs. "I just...with what's coming for these folks..."
"We could twist it. Say there's a serial killer killing couples with their six-month old baby." I suggested. "I mean, it's not that far fetched, right?"
"Sam, Raven, we only got one move and you know it, alright?" Dean assured. "We gotta wait for that demon to show itself and then we get it before it gets them. They both look back at the house for a while."
"I wonder how Dad's doing." Sam mused.
"I'd feel a lot better if we were there backing him up." Dean commented.
"I'd feel a lot better if he were here backing us up." Sam
I said nothing. There wasn't much to be done about the thing with John. He had to be on that side, for the rest of the week to play out as it did.
In the silence my mind wandered. My brain came up with different scenarios, wondering how this timeline happened if Dean had died back in Faith. Would Sam and John have ripped out each others throats? Would they even be working together right now? What would it have been like, if Sam had been alone when he reunited with John? That would've been a much sadder timeline, I can say that with confidence. Even if Dean was brought back in season 3. That doesn't make it any less sad.
My mind went over other changes to the timeline, as the Holts finished their dinner.
==DG==
"This is weird." Sam admitted.
"What is?" I asked, leaning up against the door. The backseat was fun, when you could lie down and your feet only barely had to bunch up.
"After all of these years we're finally here. It doesn't seem real." Sam explained.
"We just gotta keep our heads and do our job, like always." Dean reminded him.
"Yeah but this isn't like always." Sam pointed out.
"Point, point." I nodded, running my fingers along the jacket sleeve.
"True." Dean agreed.
"Dean...ah...I wanna thank you." Sam began. "Raven, you too."
"For what?" Dean asked, confused.
"Did I do a nice thing?" I wondered.
"For everything. Dean, you've always had my back you know? Even when I couldn't count on anyone I could always count on you. Raven you- you signed on for all of this, before you even knew we were family and that means a lot. And ah...I don't know I just wanted to let you both know, just in case-"
I snorted, while Dean interjected.
"Whoa whoa whoa, are you kidding me?" Dean stopped him.
"What?"
"Don't say just in case something happens to you. I don't wanna hear that freaking speech man." Dean warned him. "Nobody's dying tonight. Not us, not that family, nobody. Except that demon. That evil son of a bitch ain't getting any older than tonight, you understand me?" Dean told him.
Sam nodded. He glanced over his shoulder to me.
"Sam...I did what any other person would've done in my shoes." I told him. "Whether or not we were family, I would've done it. You're my friends, before you're my family. And if you think I'm letting you die tonight, you must be on a stupid kind of drug."
That got a small smile from him. I reached over, giving his shoulder an assuring squeeze.
We went back to watching the house in silence.
==DG==
Dean clapped his phone shut. "Dad's not answering."
"Maybe Meg was late. Maybe cell reception's bad." Sam offered.
"Maybe the thing is still going on." I suggested. "And he doesn't exactly have time to call back."
Dean sighed, not liking any of the options apparently. "Yeah well."
The radio of the Impala started sputtering. We had kept it silent for the watch, but now it was making static. Around the house, the wind began to pick up and lights were flickering all around.
"Boys." I alerted the boys to the issue.
"Wait. Listen." Sam turned up the radio, allowing more of the static to rise. "It's coming."
We ran to the house.
It's showtime.
==DG==
Dean picked the lock of the door. We didn't make it far inside before Charlie Holt came at us with a bat. Dean was able to avoid the hit. The bat still whacked something- a lamp, so it wasn't much issue.
"Get out of my house!" Charlie yelled at us.
Dean ran up to them, trying to wrestle the bat away. Sam and I searched for the stairs.
"Get out of my house!" Charlie yelled again.
"Please please. Mr Holt please." Sam pleaded.
"It's an emergency!" I added.
Dean wasn't able to wrestle away the bat. Instead, he used the bat to hold Charlie against the wall. "Be quiet and listen to me. Be quiet and listen. We are trying to help you."
Monica's voice came down. "Charlie? Is everything okay?"
"Monica get the baby-" Charlie shouted.
"Don't go in the nursery!" Sam and I yelled. We ran up the stairs to find her.
"You stay away from her!" Charlie warned.
Once we made it upstairs, we found Monica being dragged to the ceiling. In front of Rosie's cot was a figure clouded in darkness.
Azazel.
Sam aimed the Colt.
"Rosie!" Monica screamed.
Sam pulled the trigger.
Azazel vanished in a puff of smoke. The bullet lodged itself into the wall.
Monica fell down to the floor. I went to her side, helping her to her feet.
"Where the hell did it go!" Sam snapped to the thin air.
"I don't know! Sam, we gotta go!" I told him.
"My baby!" Monica cried out. I held her tight, pulling her towards the door. "My baby!"
"You can't!" I warned her. "I understand but you can't! Sam!"
"My baby!" Monica screamed.
"On it!" Sam rushed to the cot. He tucked the gun into the holster, before reaching for Rosie.
"Rosie!" Monica screamed.
"Sam's got her." I promised Monica, dragging her down the hallway.
Sam had just picked up Rosie, holding her in his arms, when the cot burst into flames.
I was practically forcing Monica to run away with me.
==DG==
Once we were outside, I let Monica go. Most of their second floor was lit up in flames already. Dean was outside with Charlie. Monica and I were coughing from the smoke.
Charlie stormed towards us. "You get away from my family." He warned.
"No Charlie don't. They saved us." Monica explained.
Sam came up. He held Rosie out towards Monica. She accepted her baby, crying in relief.
"I mean, they saved us." Monica held Rosie tight to her chest. Charlie came to her side, hugging both his wife and child. The family looked up at us, eyes wide and full of gratitude. "Thank you."
But we couldn't accept their thanks.
We hadn't saved them.
Not really.
Because inside the house, Azazel watched us from the flames.
Sam made out his shadowy visage. "It's still in there!" He ran towards the house.
"Sam. Sam, no." Dean grabbed at Sam's arm.
"Don't!" I grabbed Sam's other arm, holding him back.
"Guys let me go, it's still in there!" Sam yelled at us.
As he fought, it was easy to pick the Colt from his pocket. Bela was right, it was too easy to steal this from them.
"No. It's burning to the ground, it's suicide." Dean scolded him.
The Colt in my hands, I backed away from the Winchesters. I looked up at the window, watching Azazel's shadow form. He would ruin so many lives in the next few years. Innocent lives, people that didn't deserve those levels of pain and torment. He would do it all- without remorse or care for them.
It would be easier to kill him now.
But I knew he would just teleport away again.
Shooting him would waste the bullet. And I couldn't exactly tell the boys I knew how to make more, there would be a lot of questions asked that I couldn't answer. Bobby only got the recipe to work because he had help from Ruby, and she only helped because of Lilith's orders. There's no real winning in this situation.
"I don't care." Sam yelled.
"I do!" Dean countered.
Sam ground his teeth. He looked up at the flames, reaching for the Colt. He was startled when it wasn't in his pocket. He immediately realized who had it though. "Raven! Give it back!"
"I can't do that, Sam." I shook my head.
Sam tried to wrench out of Dean's hold. It was no use.
By the time he did, Azazel had once again vanished.
==DG==
We were back in the motel room. The Colt was still in my possession, out of necessity. Dean was still trying to get ahold of John. Sam was making the Bitchface at the wall.
"Come on, Dad, answer your phone damn it." Dean clapped his phone shut, tucking it away in his pocket. "Somethings wrong."
"It's been too long." I agreed.
Dean nodded, a lost look starting to come over his eyes. "Sam?"
Sam was quiet. Like, 'the creepy music was playing now' quiet.
"You hear me? Somethings wrong." Dean repeated.
"If you had just let me go in there, with the Cold, I coulda ended all this." Sam growled.
"Sam, the only thing you would have ended was your life." Dean countered.
"I had to take it- he was just going to leave again before you could take the shot." I explained.
"You don't know that." Sam snapped at us.
Dean shook his head. "So what, you're just willing to sacrifice yourself, is that it?"
Sam stood up, walking closer to his brother in a challenging stance. "Yeah. Yeah you're damn right I am."
"Well that's not going to happen, not as long as I'm around." Dean stated.
"Or me." I challenged.
"Look, Raven, maybe you don't get it. Dean, what the hell, we've been searching for this demon our whole lives." Sam snapped. "It's the only thing we've ever cared about."
"I do get it. But not at that cost." I snapped back.
"Sam, I wanna waste it. I do. Okay? But it's not worth dying over." Dean stated.
Sam stared at Dean like he wasn't sure who he was looking like. "What?"
"I mean it. If hunting this demon means getting yourself killed then I hope we never find the damn thing." Dean stated.
"That thing killed Jess. That thing killed Mom. It took Raven away from us." Sam argued, disgusted and horrified at the idea that nobody would let him die for a demon.
"You said yourself once, that no matter what we do, they're gone, and they're never coming back." Dean stated.
Sam moved in for an attack. I put the Colt down on the table. Sam was pushing Dean towards the wall. I rushed towards them, grabbing Sam's arm to pull him off Dean.
"Don't you say that, not you! Not after all this don't you say that." Sam ranted.
"Sam! Put him down!" I barked. "You're gonna hurt him!"
Sam lessened his anger. He was still holding Dean, but not with the enraged intensity like from a moment ago,
"Sam look. The four of us...that's all we have...and it's all I have." Dean admitted in a quiet voice. Like, this was coming from somewhere deep down that he'd never thought to say before. Or maybe he had been too scared. But now he realized, that this was his only chance to say it. "Sometimes I feel like I'm barely holding it together man...and without you two or Dad..."
"Dad." Sam's anger vanished. He pulled away from Dean. He sounded so gutted, so torn inside. All that pain and tension and grief came back, and it hit hard.
I went over to Dean, checking that he was okay. He gave me a jerky nod. While I didn't believe him, there were more pressing matters.
Sam breathed through the tears in his eyes. "He should have called by now. Try him again." Sam ordered.
Dean pulled out his phone again. He dialed John. There was an answer. Though this time, his expression wasn't lost or concerned.
It was rage.
"Where is he." Dean demanded.
The phone call ended.
Meg had John.
==DG==
AN: HAPPY NEW YEAR!