There's a lot of commotion when Jane nears Weller's room and it makes her panic level shoot up instantly. She had initially rushed into the hospital at full worry but then calmed down when the nurse told her he had made it out of surgery without incident. But the onrush of medical personnel heading right towards the room number she'd been given now makes Jane start running too.
She bursts into Kurt's room to see everyone freaking out, Weller's vitals monitor making alarming sounds. Weller himself is being physically restrained by Patterson, but is clearly okay enough to be putting up a fight. Jane wonders what the hell could make him think he's going anywhere in the state he's in. She thinks maybe he suffered a head injury she hadn't noticed, something to make him act so belligerently.
"Jane!" Weller shouts, his eyes snapping onto hers as he blatantly ignores all the medical professionals trying to deal with him. "What happened?"
Everyone else starts talking too, asking her questions she doesn't bother to hear. Jane can only fixate on Kurt, his eyes open, so vividly animated. Relief floods through her and she rushes to him, instinctively grabs his hand and brings it to her chest.
"Oh my god you're alive," she gasps. "What the hell is going on?"
For a moment there's a lot of everyone looking at each other and Weller looking rather sheepish. Which makes sense since he's getting admonished by the doctor about excess stress while everyone else glares at him irritably too. At least the alarm has finally stopped bleeping, though it doesn't do much to relieve the tension in the room. Everyone is clearly waiting for someone else to explain the situation when Zapata finally breaks the ice, offers her usual candid interpretation.
"Weller was being an asshat," she states. "But now that you're here, I think the problem is solved."
Jane frowns, unsure how to feel. Obviously she doesn't want Weller to risk his health because he's worried about her, shudders at the thought. It's what had fuelled her actions that entire day, the desire to protect him from his own ridiculous heroic impulses. But it also sets off a flare of warmth inside of her, after everything she's been through. She never imagined he would care that much about her ever again.
Kurt sighs, lays his head back, suddenly looking pale and exhausted. Then he somehow both sags and tenses up all at once, which makes her stare at him worriedly.
He's obviously weak and in pain but Jane still feels her lips curl slightly, to see him so relatively okay after the night he's had. The last she had seen him he still had a gaping wound in his shoulder, had passed out due to blood loss. The sight of him alive is enough to captivate her, keep her in the blissful glow of relief.
But Weller looks incredibly drained from all the action that just occurred, not to mention the surgery he'd just come out of. Jane gives his hand a squeeze, relishes in the warmth of his skin.
"Weller, you should rest," she says fondly, watching as he fights to keep his eyelids up.
Kurt shakes his head, forces his eyes open for the moment.
"No, I can't," he says, his breathing suddenly agitated.
He clearly wants to explain but words don't seem to be coming to him. Jane can feel his stress level shoot up; how taut he becomes as his pulse quickens. Patterson must see it on the monitor too and chimes in to tell him to calm down, breathe.
Jane repeats Patterson's words, rubs slow circles into his palm with her thumb. She thinks to herself she shouldn't be doing this, certainly not in front of the team. And most definitely not with Nas right there.
But Weller is suffering and she is compelled to fix it, as best she can. Luckily, what she's doing seems to be successful, helps to bring his heart rate down once more. Then, when he's finally out of his panic moment and breathing evenly, she tries again.
"Kurt, what's wrong?" Jane asks, her voice dipped in worry.
Weller takes a long breath, visibly fights to find his words.
"I just need to know that you're safe," he finally says, looking up at her desperately.
Damn it, she thinks. Of course. He had asked straight away and she had blown it off in her happiness. Then she had continued to not read his signals very well, selfishly lost in the relief of seeing him alive. Jane cringes at her mistake, at the additional stress she's caused him.
"Oh Kurt, I'm so sorry," Jane apologizes. "Yes I'm safe. I think we're both safe for now."
That draws a lot of exclamations from everyone, a chorus of whats, hows, wtfs.
"What do you mean, Jane?" Nas asks in her usual stern tone. "What happened tonight? Did Roman stay to see you rescue Weller?"
I mean I'm sitting here clinging to your boyfriend because I saved us both by being a bitch to my brother, is the first thought that comes to Jane's mind. Though fortunately she's not quite tired enough to let any of that slip out.
"Yes, Roman saw the whole thing," she replies. "But I managed to convince him I did everything for him, so Shepherd wouldn't blame him for screwing up the entire mission. I mean, it's pretty clear she's been watching Weller for years, he must play a big part in this. So I told Roman I was only protecting Kurt because we need him for Phase Two and that I was mainly trying to protect my dumbass baby brother who seems hellbent on destroying things to satisfy his own paranoia."
"And that worked?" Nas asks skeptically.
"Well I walked away and he didn't put a knife in my back," Jane says. "So yeah, for now, I think it worked."
Everyone looks at her in varying amounts of disbelief, especially Weller, his gaze intensely blue. But at least his blood pressure has settled down again with her revelation and he's clearly physiologically calmer, though still eyeing her with concern.
"You're not just saying this are you?" he asks. "Promise me you're not going to disappear again while I'm asleep."
Jane sighs, shakes her head at him. For a burly serious man, he can be so gorgeously fragile at times. She wants to soothe all his worries, tell him that she wouldn't ever leave him. But she's trying not to lie to him anymore, even if it's to protect him.
"You know I can't guarantee anything. Roman or Shepherd might call me at anytime and I would have to go," she says. "But I'm not lying about what happened with Roman. It was my only play, I gave him what he wanted, his big sister who is hypercritical and hard on him. I think I convinced him he was the one who screwed up, that I was covering for him. Or at least created enough doubt that he's done acting out on the both of us."
Weller seems somewhat satisfied with her answer, finally lets the rest of the tension drop out of his body. Now he just looks exhausted as he lies back and grimaces, then finally closes his eyes.
"Do you need more meds?" Jane asks, her heart clenching at his obvious pain. "I can go get the nurse."
Of course Weller shakes his head, tugs at her hand weakly.
"No, just going to sleep now," he grumbles. "So you should all go home and sleep too. Everyone gets the day off."
Ah, Kurt Weller, still trying to take care of everyone from his hospital bed. After a night of saving old ladies from fires, getting tortured and nearly dying. Not to mention surgery and a recovery room panic attack or two.
Jane flashes him a look of absolute adoration, resists the intense urge to kiss him good night. If she had her way she wouldn't be going anywhere, even with Weller out of immediate danger. She just doesn't want to leave him alone the same night he almost died; even though it's technically morning now and he has an armed guard.
But it's not her place, especially considering he'd been barely interacting with her until two days ago. Oh, and the fact that he's sleeping with someone else that's currently in the room as well. So all Jane can do is give his hand one more squeeze, wish him a good night. Then physically exit the room with everyone else, yet leaving all her thoughts behind with him.
She's walking away, her head full of hopeful regret, when Nas corners her, asks if they can talk. Jane feels her stomach sink, a nervous self-awareness spill all over her. The NSA agent can be prickly at the best of times, is not someone you want to piss off. Especially when she has control of your life, any chance of future freedom.
Jane stands, waiting for some sort of tirade. Then decides she should jump in and apologize first, before Nas starts in on her.
"I'm sorry," Jane stammers awkwardly, unsure how to continue.
Nas gives her a curious look but doesn't seem to be either angry or upset. Just sharp and appraising as usual.
"For what?" she asks. "Because Weller loves you? That's not exactly news to me, Jane. Or to anyone who has eyes."
Oh.
But it was news to her.
Jane stares at the NSA agent dumbstruck, wonders what Nas could possibly mean. Sure Weller had been a bit overprotective the past couple of days but before that he had been quite clear in his behaviour towards her. Or at least it had felt that way to Jane, especially when compared to how things had been between them before. So she had never let her mind go there, to that place of hope. Of course Weller didn't love her, how could he after everything she had done?
But Nas just goes on as if she hasn't just dropped an atomic bomb on the conversation, completely obliterated all of Jane's core beliefs.
"Look Jane," she states, her tone flat, matter of fact. "On the day I met Kurt Weller I told him that you loved him. What I didn't tell him was that I knew he loved you too. Even that day, when he was so hurt and angry."
"He didn't," Jane argues, thinking of how things had been between them. Even now she's sure he doesn't, that all his worry for her is from some sort of residual effect. Affectionate muscle memory of a sort.
But Nas doesn't bother to acknowledge her comment, just continues on.
"Don't tell him I told you this. But the day after we first had sex, Weller tried to kill the Deputy Director of the CIA because the man was stupid enough to brag about being the one who tortured you," she says. "Honestly, I think he might have if I hadn't been there to stop him."
Jane tries to take in the new information but is still stuck on the idea that Weller could possibly love her ever again. She can't even wrap her head around the first concept, much less the second. It's impossible, she thinks. He would never be that out of control, emotional enough to murder someone. And yet, there is no reason for Nas to have mentioned any of it if it wasn't the truth.
"Why are you telling me this?" she asks, finally finding her voice again.
Nas sighs, flashes Jane a 'get with the program' kind of look.
"What I'm saying is, I like Kurt but I never had any illusions about the situation. No one who really knows him would ever try and compete for his heart. It's already been taken."
Jane is frozen, absolutely had not seen this conversation coming at all. She thinks of how crushed she had been when she'd heard about Allie's pregnancy, when she'd figured out Weller was together with Nas. She expected Nas to be upset, territorial. Not rational and well-intentioned.
"Now, the thing is I'm going to be out of town for the next few days at least, chasing down a lead on my Sandstorm mole. And we both know that Weller is not just going to rest unless he's forced to. So I assume I can leave that up to you?"
Jane blinks, asks herself if this is really happening. Then she nods dumbly, doesn't want Nas to reconsider the situation.
"Yeah," she says, still questioning reality but seizing the opportunity nevertheless.
"Of course I'll take care of him."