I guess I am trying to make this extra heartbreaking?
I don't know, all that I know is that this is hard for Evelyn and I am not going to sugar coat what her natural reaction would be. I am trying to follow the stages of grief, and I only hope I can convey the true emotions of the scenario. Lord knows I felt it when writing this chapter.
The first time I met Cedric seemed like ages ago, when I was still in the hospital wing. Before him, my only feelings where sadness and loneliness. My heart had never experienced the fullness that came with love, only the internal emptiness that came with despair. Yet, the first time he brought me my potions homework, I knew he was different than all the others. They had all just scoffed at me for so long, but his kind smile showed me that he considered me a real person.
I remember when he would sit with me in the hospital wing and explain the lessons I missed. We would talk for hours on end, conversation drifting away from school. He made me laugh, like no one before.
I was able to forget my sadness and emptiness, despite how deep-seated they were in me.
Then, when we got paired together on a project, he included me. He let me sit with him and his friends, he brought me into conversations, and he found time to hang out. Even long after the projects were turned in, he'd stick with me. We went together, we were meant to find each other.
He put up with me when I was hysterical and moody, puking with morning sickness, or when I was freaking out because of the Triwizard Tasks. No one else would've, but he did.
He ignored the constant whispers from others, who thought that our connection implied one thing or another. Even when I couldn't, he was the first to remind me that their opinions hindered nothing in my life. I didn't need them to approve of our unconventionality, I just needed him.
I remember when I first found out I was pregnant, and he just sat with me. He didn't ask any questions, he didn't start any rumors, he just was there for me when I was so scared. And I was fearful, probably more than ever before, but he reminded me that I had been caring for others my whole life. They were just now, two more people who loved me, and two more to love unconditionally in return.
He loves them, loved, no, loves. He loves them, my babies.
He was their godfather, he was supposed to be their for them when I wasn't. He was supposed to help me raise them, teach them what it means to be loyal and kind, be a good male in their life.
This was never meant to happen.
—-
He lay unmoving on the grass of the quidditch pitch, a pale tint on his features. He looked ghostly, he looked dead.
But that wouldn't be the case, it couldn't. He was just relaxing after the task, just laying there until I woke him up.
Yeah, that's right, he was just sleeping.
I ignored Cho, and Harry, and Mr Diggory's screams of horror. They were just thinking the worst, I knew he was just sleeping.
Yeah, just sleeping.
I would go down there, and his eyes would flutter back open then everything would be okay. We would be okay.
He would be okay.
That's why I was calm when I stood up, suddenly and quietly. Paying no mind to people like Severus, who asked over and over again if I was okay.
I was okay, as long as Cedric was okay.
I didn't even look at him as I went down the Quidditch tower's staircase with growing urgency. The only thing on my mind was Cedric.
I need to get to Cedric.
Severus followed me though, two steps behind me at all times. His cries grew with emotion as we got closer and closer to the grassy floor of the pitch.
"Don't do that...Evelyn?" He would call out again, over and over and over and over.
"Evelyn?"
"Evelyn?"
"Evelyn?"
"Evelyn?"
I put him in the back of mind, his cries just becoming background noise. He didn't understand.
I needed to wake Cedric up.
My feet reached the grass, and I encountered a large murmuring crowd, craning their necks to see what was going on. I pushed through them, earning me several cries in protest.
I didn't care, they didn't understand.
But soon enough, the crowds parted. For what reason, I was unsure. But the last couple feet of people gave me little resistance, and I finally made it out of the thicket.
That's when I saw them up close.
It was Mr Diggory first. Feet from the body, he was sobbing and screaming uncontrollably. Arthur Weasley held him back, and he just kept shouting, "My boy, not my boy."
I remember telling him in my mind, everything is going to be okay.
Next it was Cho. She was crying a steady stream of tears with her friends surrounding her in a huddle, in the corner of the field. They held her tight, all of them, as they rocked back and forth. She remained voiceless, except for occasional whispers of support from her huddle of love.
Then it was Harry, a whole different mess altogether.
He was also crying, and screaming.
He was being held back by Dumbledore and Professor Moody, pushing him away from Cedric's figure. But Harry was fighting back, pushing against the old man to go back to Cedric's side.
Harry's words were absurd, the ones he kept screaming. It was something about he who must not be named killing Cedric, which seemed like nonsense.
Voldemort was dead, Cedric wasn't.
But all of them went silent when I took my final steps towards Cedric's figure. Hell, the whole pitch floow went silent. The only sound came from the murmurs in the stands above.
I walked silently towards him, feet crunching the grass underneath. Rhythmically, and again and again, until my toes were a mere inch from Cedric's stomach.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Then I knelt down, eyes still dry, in the space between his outstretched arm and midsection.
Severus was still behind me, I could sense his presence, and hear his heavy breath. But his cries were silent when my hand, shaking slightly, reached out to do what I had meaning to.
It tapped Cedric's shoulder, with light pressure. Just with an intent to stir him awake.
"Wake up Cedric." I whispered, leaning over his face. My hair hung as a shield to my soft words, and in my mind we were the only two people on that field.
Me and him.
Cedric didn't move, not even a little bit, so I tried a little harder.
This time both of my hands grasped his shoulders, giving a firm shake. In a loud whisper, I said, "Cedric, wake up."
Severus' breath hitched from behind me, but I paid him no mind.
Cedric, once again, was unmoving.
"Wake up, Cedric. Wake up. Wake up. Come on Cedric, wake up." I repeated, growing more and more frantic. I just kept shaking him, quite violently.
"Wake up."
"Wake up."
"Wake up."
He needed to wake up, he just had to wake up.
I needed him to wake up.
A hand landed on my shoulder, Severus' hand.
It disrupted my movements, and I took a breath. Even though my hands were still on Cedric, My head craned to look at the form of the Potions Professor.
"Severus," I cried, the first tears welling in my eyes. He looked at my with a loving, yet pitiful gaze, as I finished my question. "Why isn't he waking up?"