He had seen many things over the course of his employment as a villainous advisor, but never before had he been greeted with an image that made him laugh.
He had seen evil.
...
Somewhere in the multiverse the Shape Shifting Master of Darkness released a violent sneeze.
…..
He had seen horror.
…..
The court scribe couldn't say which was worse. Being covered in the snot of a woman who resembled a skeleton with skin. Or accidentally swallowing the piece of lettuce that had dislodged from her teeth.
….
But never had he thought he would get a chance to see a villain do something that was completely un-villain like.
"Aaaaaah Mommy".
Grimacing in slight disgust at the loud thumb sucking sounds that could only come from a child trapped in a man's body, or in this case a cub trapped in the body of an adult, the villainous adviser shot his companion a look of agreement as he commented on the nature of their next client.
"This guy is a villain? I mean sure he's got the greed bit down, but sucking his thumb and calling out for his mom? Gotta say I was expecting our next guy to be a little more…evil".
Chuckling at Bartok's description, for it was true that the crown wearing lion did not share the same aura of meance that one would expect from a bad guy, the boy nevertheless knew that the self crowned king still possessed enough traits to be considered a true villain.
"You have a point Bartok. But you'll find that greed can be just as dangerous as a desire for revenge. I assume that your former master was full of this vice before he got kicked from the palace"?
Receiving a slightly embarrassed nod from the albino bat, the boy continued his explanation.
"Then you should know better than to dismiss it. However, unlike our previous clients, helping his self proclaimed majesty achieve his preferred ending will be rather simple. At least in theory. I don't suppose during the course of your life you've developed some idea of how the economy works"?
Unsurprisingly, the bat shook his head.
"Apart from buy low, sell high, I have no idea".
Having expected as much, the boy, whose form bore the name of a movie that highly overrated, motioned for his companion to keep quiet.
"Then I suggest you hold your tongue Bartok. Overwise I might just be tempted to feed you to our client's reptilian counsellor".
Gulping in terror as he watched the red caped reptile try and console the childish lion, Bartok nodded his head as his morally flexible master proceeded to announce himself.
….
As the right hand man of a ruler that lacked his older sibling's penchant for honorable deeds, Sir Hiss had seen and done things that would shock less experienced animals.
Hypnotizing Richard to take most of England's army and sail to the Middle East.
Dealing with the constant juvenile mood swings of a brat with mommy issues.
This sort of thing his mind could handle.
But having a panther hail the royal coach with what appeared to be a large ruby? That was beyond his experience.
"HAIL HIS GLORIOUS MAJESTY KING JOHN. I WISH TO DELIVER THIS TRIBUTE TO HIS MOST WONDEROUS KINGLY SELF IN PERSON. PLEASE YOUR MAJESTY, I BESEECH YOU".
Of course John would be thrilled at the prospect of being recognized as the king he believed himself to be. And under normal circumstances, he might have chosen to simply express his gratitude by offering some grandiose reply as the coach continued on its way to Nottingham.
But since this black furred feline came bearing tribute, John had no problems ordering a halt to the procession in order to receive this gift.
"Stop the coach. You see that Hiss? I doubt even my fool of an older brother could have inspired such displays of devotion".
And despite his protests, the panther, and his bat companion, were welcomed aboard the carriage without delay.
"My dear chap, I must admit that your open display of affection for my royal person is most appreciated. Including this magnificent gift. May I ask where you acquired such a gem"?
Rolling his eyes at how easy it was to buy John's favor, Hiss narrowed his gaze at the back furred feline's less than informative answer.
"I'm afraid your majesty that the details of how I have acquired this…gem, are quite mundane. I performed a service for a fabulously wealthy client with an eye for….shiny things. And this was my reward. For you see, my career is tailored towards ensuring that my clients'…wealth, continues to expand without having to worry about such trivial things like bandits or…rival outfits".
These words earning an appreciative chuckle from the greedy monarch, the yellow scaled serpent decided to speak up before John could do something foolish.
"Is that sooo? And what methods do you employ to ensure such an outcome hmmm"?
Catching the king's less than pleasant expression at this interference, Hiss was relieved when the black colored panther readily answered his question.
"Well that depends. Most of the time it involves identifying the weakness of a rival, or developing a plan to ensure that their…hostile take over is successful. But since his majesty hardly requires such things, I would be honored to provide some advice on how to increase his already vast wealth".
Once again narrowing his eyes at this answer, for it was filled with only generalities and no specifics, Hiss was prevented from commenting further thanks to John's chuckling.
"My dear fellow, I would be most insulted if you didn't. While it is true that I have more money than most, I'm afraid that I am never satisfied with what I already possess. So please, advise me".
Feeling a little hurt at how easily he was ignored, the reptilian councilor had to confess that what he heard was brilliant.
….
Humming a cheerful tune as he strolled down the road, the Honorable Sheriff of Nottingham couldn't help but note that things seemed to be a bit more cheerful than they had been a scant year ago.
Though that wasn't too much of a surprise.
With King John's decision to revert the tax system back to percent of an individual's earnings, instead of setting it at a fixed rate, and the widespread dissolution of church lands that had been revealed to be less than holy, the peasants had enough money for themselves to not only eek out a living, but also to implement new methods to help improve the scale of their labor.
For without the need to spend every waking moment trying to meet quotas that were beyond their reach, plus the fact that they no longer had to pay religious tithes, they now had enough energy to be even more productive.
Not to mention the fact that when one's ability to eat and survive the winter was dependent on how much effort they put into their work they would work harder..
Which meant that a certain do gooder fox no longer received quite as much public support as he once did.
Oh sure, the local children still liked playing the role of a so called dashing villain instead of a hardworking public servant like himself, but considering that the King had enacted a law that would have entire villages compensate for the loss/thievery of his more moderate gains, it was easy to see why sometimes parents would tell their children to play something else.
But since that outlaw had become scarce since the enactment of these new laws, the Sheriff had seen little need to chastise the little critters for their fun.
For without the need to chase Robin Hood, his job was infinitely easier.
Sure people weren't too thrilled to see him, but they weren't as depressed or outspoken while he carried out his duties. Which made him all the happier.
In fact, the only thing that served to spoil his more regular good mood was the less pleasant demeanor of the local blind beggar.
Before the tax changes, he cane wielding fox always had a nice thing to say. Recognizing with sightless eyes that Nottingham was in good hands with him as Sheriff.
But now, he was lucky if he got so much as a good morning.
He had no idea what could have made him so depressed, for the country was thriving, even if Good ol King Richard had failed to return home.
King John was proving to be a wise leader with his money saving ways.
Maid Marian was soon to become a true princess as the King, having no children of his own, adopted her as his own, and had arranged a marriage between her and a loyal nobleman.
And Friar Tuck, who at one time had been a thorn in his side, had become a stellar member of the community as his church benefited from the new found prosperity of its congregation.
Yup things were looking up for merry ol England.
And all it cost, if rumors were to be believed, was a crown that, if gossip was true, was too big for the current king.
…
ANNNND THAT'S ANOTHER CHAPTER DONE XD.
More light hearted than previous chapters since, Greed aside, Prince John is one of the more comical characters of the Disney verse (apart from the whole executioner scene and hanging Friar tuck XP). And as for the economic fix, not sure it would work, but gist of it is long term investment instead of get rich quick.
Anyways, wanted to do this chapter for a while, so think this is a nice Christmas Gift for you all.
And yes, subtle insult to what is I think the most overrated Marvel film in existence lol. (i.e. a black panther getting a corrupt businessman/royal make more money XD).
Anyways, hope you enjoyed this.
Plz review. No flames.
Merry Christmas.
Ps..playing around with the idea, but the next chapter might very well be the last chapter of this story. Not because I'm bored with the concept, but because what I have envisoned next is not only a non Disney story, but more than one chapter. Thus in order to ensure it takes pride of place in its proper category, might be wrapping up this story to continue the concept in a different series. Wont say what it will be yet, but it is a treasured child hood series of mine, despite the issues some people had with its sequel series.
The hint may be provided in the new year, but no promises.