Chapter 19
"Press and lift straight up with the tip; very good, Master Damian," Barbara heard Alfred saying as she approached the Wayne Manor kitchen while Dick went off to hash things out with Bruce. "Not at an angle, Master Timothy, the tip must be perpendicular to the cake surface. Ah, Miss Stephanie, even pressure on the bag, we want a line, not a blob…"
Barbara raised her eyebrows in amusement as she walked into the warmly lit room. The three Batlings were sitting on stools around the island counter with a small cake in front of each of them that they were attempting to decorate under Alfred's meticulous eye. And across from them, sitting at the kitchen table with her laptop open and a cup of tea next to her, was none other than Harley Quinn.
"Ah, Miss Barbara!" Alfred said in pleasure, dusting his hands on his apron as the Police Commissioner entered the room. "It has been too long, my dear. Come here and give this old man a peck on the cheek," he said, moving to hug her.
Barbara smiled back at him and hugged him as tightly as she had hugged Bruce, even going so far as to bury her face in his shoulder for a minute while he patted her back. She breathed in the familiar smell of cake and bergamot and lemons that was Alfred and wistfully imagined herself a teenager again, with her father working late up at the police station and Dick doing homework at the table and Bruce smiling as he flirted with Talia while Alfred fussed over them all like a mother hen. She sighed.
"I've missed you," Babs said as she lifted her head and brushed her lips over Alfred's wrinkled cheek.
"Then you should make time to stop by more often," Alfred said, patting her shoulder as he let her go. "Even police commissioners need to eat," he said with a bemused smile. "And I would gladly make your favorite ravioli if I knew you were coming," he enticed her. Babs grinned as her eyes lit up.
"You may have just made your case, Alfred," she said with a little laugh, shaking her head. "And, I think it will be a little bit easier, now, for us both to come over," she said more quietly with a meaningful look, to which he nodded with equal satisfaction evident on his face.
"May I get you some tea, Miss Barbara? Or coffee?" he asked her.
"Decaf coffee would be great, Alfred. Thank you," she responded. "How are you kids doing?" Babs asked, moving to the island to hug everyone's shoulders and give more cheek kisses, although Damian halted her with a ferocious glare as he finished his perfectly formed leaf pattern before allowing her to touch him.
"We're good," Tim said as Steph mumbled "Fine," with her eyes slightly downcast.
"I am very well," Damian said crisply as he continued to concentrate on his work. As Barbara looked over the three cakes, she saw that Damian's was, well, extraordinary. Every leaf was precisely rippled and cleanly cut away. Every line was exactly the same width and perfectly contoured. Each rosette was a clone of the one next to it.
"Damian, this is amazing," Barbara said with some awe in her voice. "How long have you been practicing this?" she asked him, noticing that Tim's cake was fairly good, but nowhere near perfect, and that Steph's was rather a mess. Damian paused after he finished his next leaf and glanced at the clock.
"Forty-two minutes," he said, returning his gaze to his work.
"Total?" Barbara said in disbelief. Alfred gave a small but proud smile as he ground the coffee beans and set the kettle to boil.
"Tonight was the first instructional lesson in cake decorating skills," he said. Steph sighed a little bit as she struggled with another line that ended up with a huge splotch in the middle of it.
"I hate this," she muttered softly and Barbara's eyes softened sympathetically. Steph seemed pretty miserable tonight instead of her usually upbeat self, but Alfred didn't seem to be paying her bad mood any mind.
"And may I introduce Missus Harley Todd," Alfred said politely when he finished starting the coffee, turning Barbara's attention to the brunette at the kitchen table who was watching the Police Commissioner curiously, but not with malice.
"Hi, Harley," Barbara said, walking over to her and sticking her hand out for a shake. "It's good to meet you. Officially," she said. Harley gave a small smile as she shook Barbara's hand.
"You, too, Commish," she said. "Or should I call you Barbara now?" she asked, raising an amused eyebrow.
"Babs is fine," the Commissioner surprised her by saying as she took a seat next to Harley at the table. "Only Bruce and Alfred really ever call me Barbara. And my dad did," she added softly, her eyes misting up a little bit.
"I'm really sorry your pops died," Harley said to her with empathy. "We all liked him a lot. He was fair and didn't go out of his way to hurt nobody." Babs nodded her thanks, oddly touched at the villain's kind tribute on behalf of Gotham's rogues.
"So…" Babs said to her slowly, meeting Harley's eyes questioningly. "You married Jason."
"Yep," Harley said with a big smile as her eyes lit up at the thought of her husband. "He's the best, Babs," she said with heartfelt warmth, not hesitating to use her sister-in-law's preferred moniker.
"He used to be," Babs said hesitantly. "I haven't seen him since we were kids," she added by way of explanation, not wanting Harley to take offense.
"I know," Harley said, though, giving her a thoughtful look. "Kind of odd the Police Commissioner never even had a conversation with Red Hood before letting the Bat throw him into Arkham," she said, and even with the absence of snark, Barbara flushed red.
"I thought it was for the best," she mumbled, getting a little snort from Harley.
"For who? You or for him?" Harley said, although she used a gentler tone than she could have, and Babs knew it. She sighed as she worried her lip.
"For me, I guess," she finally said honestly, looking ashamed. "I didn't want to look into Jason's face and see a stranger staring back out," she admitted. "It would have hurt too much."
"But he wasn't a stranger," Harley pointed out. "He was still Jason." And Babs groaned, rubbing her face with her hands.
"I didn't know," she said. "And yes, I would have known if I'd talked to him. I get it. But he hadn't come to see us when he got back to Gotham, Harley. If he'd come back from the dead and was still himself, he should have come to see us. We thought," she added quickly.
"I understand now that more was going on than we knew. But surely you can understand how hard it would have been for me to see him if he was nothing more than a Jason-shell." Harley pursed her lips up.
"Well, I'm not the one you need absolution from," she said, meeting Barbara's guilty eyes. "You gotta talk that out with Jay."
"I will," Barbara said immediately. "When he gets back. Bruce said he was out of town?"
"Yeah, for about a week," Harley said, wisely not elaborating.
"Did Bruce tell you yet about Bane?" Tim chimed in from the counter as he continued to work on his cake.
"No," Barbara said, surprised. "What about Bane?"
"He's Batman, now," Tim said calmly. Barbara's eyebrows shot up.
"For good?" she asked in shock. Tim nodded.
"Until I'm old enough to take it on," he said. "Bruce can't do it anymore."
"Father had a nervous breakdown," Damian supplied in his unbothered manner. "He is most unwell."
"He's getting a little better," Steph protested. "But not well enough to patrol. He's going to work behind the scenes from now on."
"Oh," Barbara said, her eyes kind of wide. "Ok," she said slowly.
"Oh, that reminds me," Harley said. "I'm gonna be doin' the patrols this week. As Batgirl, though. And the Suicide Squad is gonna be backin' me up. Check your email, I just sent you all the presidential pardons."
"The what now?" Babs said, swiveling her head to stare at Harley as she pulled her phone out of her pocket.
"It's all in the emails," Harley said peacefully, taking a sip of her tea. "You'll see."
Barbara's jaw started to drop as she read the summary and documents that Harley had sent her.
"Holy shit," she whispered.
"Yeah, you kind of let Amanda Waller pull a fast one over on ya," Harley said conversationally and without judgment. "It's fine now, though. Me and Bruce clipped her wings."
"Wow," Barbara said, blinking as she kept scanning the evidence. "Wow. I feel really stupid," she mumbled.
"Aw, no, Babs, don't worry about it," Harley said kindly. "Even Bats didn't know. I was on top of it, anyhow, you didn't have to worry none."
"So, is your Squad going to mask up as Robin and Bats? Or what?" Barbara asked Harley, wrinkling her forehead. "It's not good PR for the Squad to suddenly be on the lam working with Batgirl as her enforcers if no one knows what's going on."
"Oh, we got that covered," Harley said.
"I'm going to hack the Gotham Square jumbotron tonight," Tim said. "And the Emergency Broadcast channels. Batgirl will explain the situation to everyone so there's no confusion. I was going to post the pardons on the Gotham PD website, too," he said, "but since you're here now and you have them, I guess you could do that yourself if you wanted."
Babs stared at Tim. Then at Harley. Steph gave her a tiny smile as Damian ignored her and continued his intent work on his cake. Alfred poured the now boiling water into the French press and walked it over to Barbara with a mug.
"Cream, no sugar?" he asked her with a knowing smile and she nodded back at him, mouthing a quiet thank you.
"I know I've been out of the mask game for awhile now," Babs said slowly. "But… isn't this a little much? Bruce is ok with all this?" she asked skeptically.
"He's fine with it," Tim said confidently. "Harley knows what she's doing." Harley beamed.
"Well, thank ya for the compliment, young Robin," she said, "but if you really believed that, you and Steph would be hangin' the masks up for a few years until you were grown." And Tim actually laughed without taking offense.
"Too bad it's not up to you," he teased her and Harley grinned.
"It is for this week, anyway," she quipped back, but she cast a worried look at Steph, who wasn't taking part in the repartee and was messing around with her cake ever more lethargically.
"Steph, you can be done with that now. Come over and sit with us girls," Harley ordered her, glancing at Babs who nodded slightly back at her with equal concern as she met her sister-in-law's eyes.
Steph sighed and got up from her stool, taking her crutches from where they were leaning against the counter and slowly swinging her way over to the table.
"You want some tea or somethin'?" Harley asked her, but Steph shook her head as she slumped in her chair.
"What's going on, chickie?" Babs asked her quietly, reaching out to rub the younger girl's arm. "This isn't about cake." Steph shrugged, looking down at the table, but didn't answer. Babs looked over at Tim, who met her eyes deliberately for a second before looking back at his cake and remaining silent.
"Is somethin' goin' on at school?" Harley asked her, frowning. "I know that look."
"How do you know this look?" Steph muttered.
"Because I used to wear it all the time in high school," Harley said. "Lord, those were some awful years," she sighed. "Come on, out with it, Steph. Who are the bitches and what have they done now?" Steph lifted her head up a little bit and met Harley's eyes with some surprised gratitude mingled with a hint of relief.
"Some of the girls tease me a lot," she sighed softly, keeping her voice low so Damian and Tim wouldn't hear. "I try not to let it bother me, but…" Barbara was frowning hard.
"I didn't know that was going on," she said. "How long has that been happening, Steph?" Steph shrugged.
"For as long as I've been going to Gotham Prep," Steph said matter-of-factly. Harley snorted.
"Why am I not surprised," she muttered. "There ain't no bitch like a rich bitch, Steph," Harley said with deep feeling and a small smile crept onto Steph's face.
"Yeah," she said, dipping her head a little bit. "That's what it started as, bullying me for being poor and for coming to live with Bruce like some street tramp."
"God," Barbara said in horror, but Harley was nodding her head, unsurprised.
"They did that to Jay, too," she said. "Dick didn't get all that?" she asked Babs. Barbara gave her a wry look.
"Have you met Dick?" she asked Harley.
"Not really," Harley said. "Not without a mask on, anyway." Babs laughed a little bit.
"Dick is the Golden Boy," she said. "Everybody loves him. He was class president all four years of high school," she said. "Every girl wanted to date him. Every guy wanted to be his best friend. What can I say? The man is charming," she said with a rueful smile.
"Except to his father, I guess," Harley said philosophically, causing Steph to burst out laughing, but Babs grimaced.
"And except to me, sometimes," she said, causing Harley's eyes to flash in sudden sympathy. Babs sighed.
"Someone has to take the heat when everything Dick stuffs down inside of him explodes," she said, rubbing her eyebrows. "What do they say? You hurt the ones you love?" Harley nodded.
"That makes sense," she said, going Dr. Quinzel on the conversation. "If he's a people-pleaser than of course everyone loves him. But if he ain't settin' no boundaries and he's lettin' people take advantage of him all the time, he's building up resentments until he gets to the point where he can't hold them in anymore, so who does he go off on? The people he feels the safest around. You and Bruce."
"Yep," Barbara said moodily, sipping her coffee. "But," she sighed, "I do think him and Bruce are going to get some big baggage off of their backs tonight. I'm hoping this is the start of a change."
"It will be," Harley assured her. "It's a huge step to be honest for the first time. And once a person starts, it feels so good to let that stuff go that it's hard to go back to stuffin' it all in."
"Thanks," Babs murmured with a grateful look. "But what about you, Steph?" she said, turning back to face their younger sister. "What happened worse today than usual? Not that I like hearing that it's been happening for so long, but I haven't seen you like this before." Steph sighed miserably.
"Well, they always pick on me about Tim. Like saying we're dating, even though we aren't, or that we're incestuous because we both live with Bruce, even though obviously we're not brother and sister."
"Oh, my God," Babs said again.
"Kids," Harley said with disgust.
"But this one girl, Chloe, she really started going after me today for being a virgin," Steph said.
"How the fuck does she know if you're a virgin or not?" Harley said.
"She doesn't," Steph said. "Not really. But, I am. And it's probably obvious. But, anyway, she really started in on me about it, and her boyfriend started going after Tim, too, saying Tim's not man enough to make me a woman, and that I should let this other guy Brad pop my cherry since Tim can't get it up -"
"That is sexual harassment," Babs said, horrified. "You could complain to the school administrators about that and they'd have to deal with it." Harley and Steph glanced at each other in mutual understanding and together gave Babs a pitying look.
"You were a popular kid, weren't ya," Harley said to Barbara.
"Of course she was," Steph grumbled. "She was dating Dick the Golden Boy." Harley laughed but Babs looked confused.
"I never thought I was super popular," she said.
"Did ya ever get picked on?" Harley asked her.
"No," Babs said slowly.
"Popular as fuck," Harley said to Steph, who nodded in agreement.
"Well, so what?" Babs said in frustration. "That doesn't mean she shouldn't go to the administrators about it."
"Babs, Babs, Babs," Harley said, shaking her head.
"That would be social suicide," Steph spelled out for her, with a small glare. "So don't go telling anyone behind my back, Babs. I'd have to quit school and be homeschooled with Damian." Babs gave her and Harley a worried look.
"Then what do we do?" she said.
"Did this girl Chloe just lose her cherry?" Harley asked Steph, who thought for a second and then laughed a little bit.
"She could have," she said. "I mean, I would've thought she'd lost it a long time ago, but, yeah. Maybe."
"She might be going in on you if she regrets it," Harley pointed out. "Wants to tear you down 'cause you remind her of a decision she wishes she hadn't made." Steph sighed.
"That doesn't really make it any better for me," she pointed out. "Even if it's true. Which it might not be."
"No," Harley said, "it might not be true. But sometimes it helps to remember that it's usually not about you when someone's being an asshole. Her boyfriend's friend might really want to date you, too, and that's why his boy is sayin' all that," Harley said.
"Oh, ew," Babs said. "That is the grossest possible way to go about it," she said.
"Brad might want to fuck me," Steph said logically, "but I doubt he wants to date me. Cluemaster's daughter and her mommy's an addict living on the streets? No way," she said dully. "No one there wants to date me for real and I wouldn't date anyone at that school, anyway. They'd only be using me so they could humiliate me later."
"Well, we have to do something," Babs said in frustration. "I'm not going to sit by and let this happen to you, Steph."
Steph groaned but Harley got a wicked gleam in her eye.
"Steph, you'd like to see those assholes pay, right?" she said. Steph looked at her.
"If I didn't have to pay for it later myself, yeah. But not if they're going to come after me even worse after whatever you do." Harley nodded.
"I got you, baby girl," she said, reaching over to pat Steph's hand. "You leave it to Harley."
"Harley…" Babs said slowly, but Harley shook her head.
"Nuh-uh, Commish. Close your ears and look away on this one. This is your little sister, right?" Harley said. "Us Batgirls got to stick together," she said firmly. Babs hesitated for only a second.
"Right," she said, nodding and reaching out to hold Steph's other hand. Steph looked up at Babs in surprise.
"Really?" she said hesitantly, and Barbara's heart ached at the longing and misery she saw in Steph's eyes.
"Really," Barbara said. "I didn't always play by the rules," she said with a grin. "Hell, I wouldn't even be Commissioner if I hadn't learned so much from being a vigilante first. Just don't kill anybody," she said sharply to Harley, who glared back at her with some offense.
"I wouldn't dream of it!" Harley said. "High school kids? No way, Babs, come on, now. I ain't Mistah J," she said with disgust. "What do ya think I killed him for?" Barbara's mouth dropped open.
"You killed Joker?" she said in disbelief.
"Oh, my God," Harley grumbled, "can we please make a Batfamily group text or somethin' so I don't gotta be repeatin' myself two hundred times? Yes, I killed him. For killing Jay, as it happens. I did him in seven years ago right after he did it."
"Well," Babs said, blinking as she processed that. "I guess you and Jason really were destined to be together, then," she snickered.
"Whaddya think he liked me so much for?" Harley said with a smirk and a hair toss that even Steph smiled at.
"Remember that, Steph," Harley said to her seriously. "If the guy you like ever gets killed, make sure you take out his murderer. Just in case. You never know who's gonna be comin' back to life in this crazy town and let me tell you, was Jay ever gra-a-a-te-ful," Harley hummed happily as Babs and Steph giggled.
"I'll keep it in mind," Steph said, "but I'd rather he not get himself killed in the first place," she said with a little bit of worry in her voice.
"Well, if you're that concerned, maybe you oughtta convince him to hang the mask up with ya for a few years," Harley said with a frown, causing Steph to promptly blush. Hard.
"Oh!" she said. "No - I didn't mean - um," she got even redder and couldn't finish the sentence. Babs leaned over and gave her a conspiratorial wink.
"There is an established tradition of Batgirls getting together with Robins," she whispered mischievously. Steph groaned and hid her head in her arms.
"Are you ok, Steph?" Tim called over from the counter, prompting an even louder moan and a lot of giggles from the ladies at the kitchen table.
"She's fine," Harley sang back to him. "Girl talk. Mind your own business, boys."
"Indeed, Tim Drake," Damian said with superiority. "Your cake is suffering from your lack of attention." Tim raised his eyebrow as he looked over at Damian's magazine worthy cover shoot of a confection.
"Damian, I'm not even going to pretend that I can compete with that," Tim said honestly, shaking his head in wonder. Damian's lips curled up the smallest amount in pleasure as Alfred sighed with pride.
"It is indeed a masterpiece, Master Damian," Alfred said. "Next lesson, you will be ready to learn how to craft roses. Not you yet, though, Master Timothy," Alfred said. "One must perfect the basics before one is ready for the advanced lessons." Steph giggled.
"I hate decorating cakes," she whispered to Harley and Babs. "Do you think Alfred will let me out of the future lessons?"
"Ask Bruce," Harley said wisely. "You don't gotta learn how to make a cake pretty for it to taste good. I think old Al can be satisfied with having Damian as a student for the pretty stuff."
"Tell Bruce about the bullying, too," Babs said seriously.
"No," Steph whined. "He'll want to get involved and solve it."
"It wouldn't be a bad thing for him to take more of an interest in your life," Harley pointed out. "And he can support you in a lot of ways without going all Batman on it to fix it. Although, you might have to teach him that part," she said with a twinkle in her eye.
"Ice cream is a valuable resource for fathers of teenaged girls. You should mention that," she grinned as Steph thought about her words.
"Plus, you don't want to end up one day like Dick," Babs said with a little shudder. "And have it come spewing out like a volcano all over Ti-" Steph cleared her throat loudly and glared at Barbara.
"Sorry," Babs whispered as Harley poked her.
"You're too long out of the secrets game, sister," Harley said playfully. "Lost your edge."
"Yeah, yeah," Babs muttered with an embarrassed smile.
"Ok," Steph said softly, making a decision. "I'll try to talk to Bruce about it soon. But you really think you can get it to stop, Harley? For good? I don't see how that's possible."
"That," Harley said calmly, "is because you ain't a villain. Watch and learn, little hero. It pays to have friends in low places."
And Steph couldn't help feeling a little better, and not just because Harley had a plan. The teenager's heart was full of a warm glow as she smiled at Babs and Harley with the quiet sound of Alfred's gentle murmuring instructions to Tim and Damian in the background.
Family, Stephanie thought again to herself, as she had the night that Bruce had first hugged her and Tim. The word was starting to feel like it meant what it was supposed to, and Steph was starting to feel like she belonged.