I led Chizuru back to her room, or rather, she led me since i had no idea where it could be. She politely invited me in and i was happy that she did so since I wanted to speak to her the sooner the better. There was so much to talk about... My mission, the baby, her time at Osaka, her forgiveness, my honor, the demons... the future... We didn't get much time last time I've seen her.

So much that I want to tell you, Chizuru...

As soon as I entered the room, she kissed me before i could even open my mouth and I felt my obi loosen and my kimono falling off my shoulders.

But... I guess talking can wait a few more minutes.

Never would I have expected Chizuru to be bold enough to strip me like this one day and I wondered for a second if i was dreaming. Her hands were working on my entire body, getting rid of every single piece of clothing while her mouth was desperately working on mine. I started to pull on the ties of her clothes as well and parted from her lips to have a look at her face that I found flustered as expected.

« When did you become so bold ? » i asked with a smirk.

« When I spent six long and lonely months in a frozen bedding. » she answered while blowing the light.

Her voice was assured but her eyes were avoiding mines and her cheeks were getting red. A part of her was still thinking that her behavior was unacceptable and that a woman should act with more restraint. I could see it quite easily on her face.

« Don't stop. » i whispered and her boldness came back, like triggered by my words.

She kissed me with passion, her tongue seeking entrance and i let her in. Her hakama fell on the floor, followed by her obi, kimono, nagajuban and undergarment. I pushed her on the futon without breaking our kiss and came atop her, parting her legs with a knee already very close to her womanhood. My hand came cuping one of her breasts and she moaned when I squeezed it. My mouth released her lips to trail some kisses down her neck to reach the other breasts and took her nipple in. She moaned again with each of my tongue movements, sucking, flickering, and her hips started pushing themselves higher to meet my body. These hips movements made it impossible to ignore her womanhood as it was reacting to my touch and rubbing against my knee.

I trailed down kisses again and snapped at the side of her hips before kissing her inner thigh, trailing up to find the object of my desire. I tasted her and she put her hands on her mouth to muffle the sound. I didn't stop her this time. I didn't know my way around those new headquarters and had no idea who her neighbors could be. It was preferable to be cautious. Her hips were moving at the same tempo than my tongue. How i missed that particular flavor... Spicy, savory... I was not far from claiming this as my favorite dish after all.

« Saito... Please » she panted « please... »

I opened my eyes to take a look at her even if i could barely see her in the obscurity, face in awe, cheeks red, eyes closed. She had a hand on her mouth and the other clenching at the sheets. As soon as she realized that i stopped my sweet torture, she opened her eyes and sat up to grab my hair and pull me back atop her. She kissed me and i saw her face change when she tasted her flavor on my lips and tongue. She didn't seem to like it as much as I was though and I almost chuckled when i saw her disgusted face. She wrapped her legs around my hips, applying pressure on them to lower my body near hers. I wanted to take care of her longer but no man in the world could resist to this kind of invitation.

« Please... » she pleaded again, whispering with a voice full of need and lust.

I entered her and she whimpered with delight. I started moving and her moans became my tempo, or was it the other way around ? Her legs wrapped around me were pushing me down in rhythm as her hips were lifting themselves to meet mine. She put her head in my neck and her arms came snaking under mines to dig her fingernails in my shoulder blades. When i sensed i was being overwhelmed by the sensations, i pulled myself out and collapsed on her, keeping my elbows as support to not put my full weight on her. She stopped clenching at me and relaxed, resting her hands on my hips and squeezing them. We stayed like this a minute, my nose in her hair, hers in my neck, her legs still wrapped around me.

« Maybe I should depart again six more months if it has this effect on your person. » i said.

« Just shut up. » she replied, scolding me « Am I making love with Saito or Okita here ? »

« I'm not sure. It's pitch black in here. » i answered with a smirk.

« Saito ! » she protested, slapping the back of my head.

I chuckled and brushed my nose against her before kissing her forehead. Only her was allowed to see this side of me. I could lower my guard in her presence, always.

« I love you. » i told her.

If there were words stronger than these ones, i would have said them since they were sounding so weak to me but i don't think any words in the world would have been strong enough to match the feeling in my heart. She kissed me and returned my words. It was different when she was the one saying them, they sounded more powerful in her voice, full of truth.

I rolled to the side and she snuggled against me.

« Wait. » i told her, embarassed.

I stood up and gave her a hand to stand as well before changing the sheets. I didn't wanted her to lie in... this. She stayed silent during the whole operation then, when i was finished, i lied down in the clean bedding and pulled her hand. She followed and came snuggling against me. She was shivering, probably a bit cold since winter was on its way. I held her tighter to communicate my warmth to her.

« Can we talk now that there is no more urgent needs that require my exclusive attention ? » i asked her, brushing her cheek with the tip of my fingers.

So strong yet so fragile... Sometimes I feel like she is the strongest person I know and sometimes, I feel like she could just break in my arms... So vulnerable...

She didn't answer my question but i felt her chuckle against me and i took it for a yes.

« Chizuru, I am so sorry that i wasn't there for you and the baby. » i confessed.

I felt her stiffen in my arms but she kissed my neck and held me tighter.

« It's not your fault. You didn't have the choice, it was a direct order. But... if you don't mind... I'd rather not speak about it... » she whispered.

I nodded. I couldn't even imagine how difficult and traumatic it could have been for her and I couldn't stop to feel guilty even if she didn't seem to resent me. I knew i made the right choice when i pulled off moments ago. She wasn't ready to go through it again so soon after the loss and i wasn't sure i was ready either. I decided to move onto a much lighter subject.

« You had a good time in Osaka ? »

« Yeah » she answered without lifting her head from my neck and her breath gave me goosebumps. « Matsumoto-sensei taught me a lot so that i can be even more useful in case of injury and not do only first aid. I also read a lot about Okita's illness to help him the better I can but he keeps refusing my help... And... I learned also about pregnancy... »

I nodded again, noticing how the last sentence had been difficult to get out.

« Did you have a good time with the Guardians of the Imperial Tomb ? » she asked me in return and i frowned.

« I hope that question isn't serious. » i answered.

« So you didn't ? » she chuckled and i realized she was making fun of me which made me frown even more.

« Of course not, it was hell. » i answered seriously « I was lucky Toudou was there to bring a little joy otherwise I would have gone insane. »

She stayed silent for a moment and i cursed myself for mentioning Toudou. He was Chizuru's closest friend and could be dying tonight.

« Do you think Heisuke's all right ? » she asked me eventually.

« Kondou-san asked Harada and Nagakura not to kill him. I'm sure they will comply with this order. » i answered but deep down I had no idea. I just hoped Toudou could make the choice that was tearing him up the day before.

We stayed silent again and held each other on the narrow futon until sleep took us. In the morning we will probably have the answer to that question.