Chapter Twenty-Four

Sunday 22nd December – 4.30pm

Chloe began reading the Christmas card Elly had written to her.

"Chloe,

When we first met, I thought you were a skank."

Chloe immediately paused reading the card, stared up from the card then frowned and side-eyed in confusion, "Okay…ouch…"

Chloe then proceeded to continue reading Elly's message.

"After our catfight over you pinching Mark's wallet and breaking my handbag, you then proceeded to ask me to mix it up with you and I told my friends, 'Chloe Brennan' is a nut job!"

Chloe looked up, again speaking to no one as she was alone, "Okay, why would Elly ever think I need to read this? Is she trying to make me feel…like a skank and a nutjob? Maybe I'm imagining this terrible message from Elly…let me re-read it…"

"Chloe,

When we first met, I thought you were a skank.

After our catfight over you pinching Mark's wallet and breaking my handbag, you then proceeded to ask me to mix it up with you and I told my friends, 'Chloe Brennan' is a nut job!"

Chloe paused to side-eye once more realizing that she hadn't made up the hurtful message and Elly had written it, "Alright, I'm giving this Christmas card one more sentence from Elly to see if she insults me again before I'm throwing this in the trash."

"Thinking you were a skank and a nut job is the first in an incredibly long line of mistakes I've made about you and a part of me wishes I could take it back but I don't want to as its led me to where I am today - not thinking that you are either of those things. When the truth is you are the woman that I am truly, madly, and deeply in love with, Chlo."

Chloe blushed gently as the words in Elly's handwriting washed over her, "Okay that's…better."

"I have treated you so badly for the better part of this entire year, all because I've been hiding behind the truth that I'm so in love with you.

You have no reason to believe me after all this time but it's how I feel about you. I've always felt this way about you, I was just so afraid what it would mean for me. I've come to accept it, now.

You're all I think about, I love you and I want to be with you.

There was a time I thought I was meant to meet Mark because he was gonna be the most important person in my life.

I was meant to meet Mark but it was because I was destined to meet you and you, Chloe, are the most important person in my life.

I am truly, madly, deeply in love with you.

Yours always,

Love, Elly"

Chloe sat back on Elly's bed, silently unable to do much but stare at the Christmas card as she read it over and over again multiple times until the words were ingrained in her memory.

Chloe breathed deeply as she eventually put the card back in its envelope, holding onto the card tight in her hand.

Okay I see the point in Elly sending me here to get this card…

I have to go talk to Elly about it…

Chloe turned around, picked up the bag she'd put together for Elly, clutched onto the Christmas card in her free hand and left the room.

As Chloe entered the living room area of the Kennedy's, Bea was standing in the kitchen drinking her cup of tea, "About time, I was wondering where'd gotten to. Hope you didn't get lost in Elly's underwear drawer."

Chloe reviled at Bea's comment, "Would you stop being so crude, Bea? You've made your feelings perfectly clear that you think Elly and I should be together. It's not up to you, Bea. It's for Elly and I to decide if us being together is the right thing for us and Elly's son. I'm going back to the hospital to drop this off to Elly. I'll tell her you guys will be by in the morning to check on her."

Bea took another sip of her tea as Chloe left the house, then pursed her lips once she was alone, "Chloe already referring to her and Elly being an 'us'…they'll be back together by the end of the day."

Chloe bit her lip as she walked through the hospital hallway back to Elly's room. She had Elly's bag with her clothes and belongings slung over one of her shoulders, with the Christmas card still clutched in her other hand.

As Chloe reached Elly's room, she found herself standing in the doorway for a moment, watching Elly lying in her hospital bed. Elly was fiddling with her fingernails, clearly nervous over something.

Chloe eventually knocked on the door, watching the anxious look continue on Elly's face as she turned to her, "Hey. You look nervous, everything okay?"

I've been sitting here for an hour freaking out at the idea of Chloe possibly reading the Christmas card I wrote her…and also when the nurses are bringing my son back to me cause I'm worried I'm going to mess up this whole being a mum thing…

Elly cleared her throat, "Yeah…just waiting for my son to be brought back here."

"I thought you were meant to be resting without him for a little while," Chloe replied quietly.

Elly shrugged, "Little hard to do, I miss him already and I think I need to get used to not sleeping so I'm kinda okay with waiting around until they bring him back to me before I actually take a nap. Anyway, did you...ah…manage to get my bag…?"

Elly trailed off and blushed when she saw Chloe was holding the Christmas card in her hand but couldn't make out if the envelope had been opened or not.

Chloe finally stepped into the room, slinging the bag off of her shoulder as she reached Elly's bed, and placing it down on the bed next to Elly, "Bea made a point that you'd probably only packed enough clothes for a one night stay and since your birth plan didn't turn out as you wanted, I grabbed you some extra clothes and a book to read when you aren't looking out for your son…though you'll probably be spending all that extra time without him sleeping. I didn't think about that."

"Thanks, Chloe, it's the thought that counts," Elly told her, still trying to get a better look at the envelope because Chloe wasn't giving her any clues if she'd read the card or not.

Chloe bit her lip, "Full disclosure, Bea made me go through your underwear drawer to get you some extra…well…underwear. I don't know what Bea's been like to you but she's making it quite clear she wants us to get back together. I told her it's our decision to make, it's not up to anyone else."

"Right…" Elly whispered as she glanced away from Chloe, finally seeing that the envelope had been opened and was waiting anxiously for Chloe to react to it.

I don't know how I'll cope if Chloe breaks my heart.

Chloe stood by the bed, awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other, before finally holding up the Christmas card, "So I-"

Chloe was immediately interrupted by a nurse entering the room, pushing a trolley in front of her that held Elly's son, swaddled up, on it.

The nurse announced, "Here's your son, Miss. Conway, do you want to spend an hour or so with him? Try feeding him again before I come back for him?"

Elly sat up from her position of lying in the bed and was surprised when Chloe reached out to adjust her pillow and put her hand on Elly's shoulder to comfort her, "Sure, I'd love to."

Great, now, it'll be even longer until I work out if Chloe's going to break my heart…I can't be too upset that my son is the reason Chloe will probably take off now.

As the nurse picked up the newborn, she suddenly looked at Chloe fussing over getting Elly comfy, "Would you like to hold him first?"

"Me?" Chloe's eyes widened, before glancing at Elly with uncertainty.

Chloe doesn't want to…that's fine…that's entirely not a sign that even if Chloe does want to be with me…having a newborn in my life is not something she wants.

What if I hurt him? Mess this up, Elly won't trust me near her son again!

Elly swallowed hard at the look of fear on Chloe's face, "Chlo, you don't-"

"Can I? I mean is that…okay…with you if I…?" Chloe stuttered.

Elly smiled softly, "If you want to…I'd love you to. Just maybe don't tell my family as they haven't held him yet. They've met him but haven't…thought they could wait until they all come back in the morning."

"Oh, I don't want to step on their feet and take this moment away from them," Chloe retorted.

"You can hold him, Chloe, it's fine. I want you to," Elly decided.

The nurse lifted Elly's son out of the trolley, handing him to Chloe, who was immediately forced to drop the Christmas card next to Elly on the bed. After a minute of settling the newborn into her arms, then so she could sit down in the chair next to Elly's bed, holding him upright with her hand supporting his head and leaning him against her chest.

The nurse soon left the pair alone in the hospital room.

"You doing okay, there?" Elly asked quietly.

"Freaking out I'll drop him and you'll never forgive me," Chloe admitted as she settled into the chair a bit more now that she had Elly's son comfortably against her chest, "Don't take offence if I hand him straight over to you if he starts crying. I'll be too afraid I won't know how to settle him or have a single clue what he needs."

"You're not the only one. I guess it'll take me time to get used to his cries and what they mean," Elly realized, as she awkwardly found herself clutching at the Christmas card, Chloe had abandoned next to her on the bed.

"Do you have a name for him, yet?" Chloe asked.

Elly nodded shyly, "Only if you're okay with it…"

Why does Elly need me to be okay with her son's name?

"Elliot," Elly whispered to Chloe.

Chloe glanced down at the newborn then smiled over at Elly, "I love it. Why are you worried I wouldn't like it? Cause it'd be Elly and Elliot? I think that's an adorable pairing of your names."

"No, because it's your…nickname…your brothers call you cause of your favourite movie," Elly blushed, "Is that…okay?"

Chloe raised her eyebrow, "Oh right…so it is. Been a while since they've called me that. I love it. I'd be happy to share my nick name with him."

Elly smiled back at Chloe, "Good…cause I kinda didn't have a backup name for a boy. When Shaun was here last before he…I'd sat down with him that morning that he…we started talking names and we settled on Aster for a girl as it's his favourite flower. I only just realized when I went into labour we never even discussed boy's names so I never got the chance to ask him if he'd be okay with Elliot."

Chloe found herself pressing her lips to the top of Elliot's head, "I'm sure Shaun would've loved it. I know you didn't know him well and his association to Finn now might make you want to forget Shaun but you'll find ways for Elliot to remember his father."

"I will," Elly agreed, unable to stop blushing at the sight of Chloe affectionately cradling her son.

"I'm surprised this little guy hasn't burst into tears yet," Chloe told Elly, "Bet I just jinxed it and he'll start crying any second now."

"Nah I think he's good. I think he likes you," Elly replied.

Chloe stared down at him, "You got all that by Elliot not crying all over me?"

No, I'm just hoping against hope you want to me with me, he'll fall in love with you as much as I have and you'll be okay with that.

Elly nodded, before taking a deep breath and gently holding out the Christmas card, "Did you read it?"

Chloe stared at Elly, the anxiousness written all over her face, "Yes, I did. I got the point of you getting me to read it."

"You did?" Elly questioned, trying desperately to believe Chloe wasn't about to break her heart.

Chloe ran her tongue over her lips, "You meant what you said to me last night. It wasn't just a reaction to the situation we were put in and you don't just want to be with me cause you don't want to be a single mum."

"I did," Elly quietly confirmed.

"Because it's not like you knew you were going to make your love declaration, knew I needed time to free us rather than talk about it, knew that when we did talk about it that I would accuse you of being too vulnerable to know what your feelings really are for me, that I would need time to come to terms with all of this, somehow manage to get your hands on a Christmas card whilst stuck in hospital here, write your feelings in it, then get the card to your bedroom without me knowing so I could read it and finally accept that you meant what you said to me last night," Chloe concluded.

"I wrote the card a couple weeks ago, Chlo. Actually, the night before Shaun…died. I didn't know I was going to be a single parent then," Elly revealed, "And yes, that was the point of me asking you to read it now so you would find some belief that everything I said last night and earlier this afternoon was the truth."

"If the ordeal we went through didn't happen, would you have given me the Christmas card?" Chloe asked curiously.

Elly breathed deeply, "I'm not sure. I wrote it to express my feelings for you. I needed to stop bottling them up. I told Suze about my feelings for you a few weeks ago. She made me see that I couldn't keep it to myself…I needed to find a way to reveal the feelings I hold for you. Even if that meant not giving you the card."

"Why wouldn't you have given me the card?" Chloe questioned, as she started rocking Elliot gently when he started to fuss in her arms, "I gave you my Christmas card last year…or I did and then your mum pinched it and I realized I shouldn't have given it to you but you found it anyway…"

Elly chewed on her lip, "I didn't want to blow up your whole life. But apparently I did so last night anyway by telling you how I feel about you."

And now I'm waiting for you to blow up mine by not wanting to be with me or choose to be with me…

"You really did mean how you feel about me?" Chloe confirmed.

"I meant it, Chloe. I know things are more complicated than how we feel about each other for us to get back together without another thought and we have a lot to work through," Elly replied softly, "But I know what I want. I think you truly believe me when I tell you that I'm in love with you. I want us to be together."

Chloe stared at Elly thoughtfully for a moment, trying to feel perfectly secure that Elly really loved her, "What if I said…I just want to be friends…?"

Elly dropped her gaze from Chloe, heartbroken at the mere thought.

I hate my whole life.