DEER
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Disclaimer: Boku no Hero Academia belongs to Horikoshi Kohei
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Genre(s): Adventure/Hurt/Comfort
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Warning(s): Typo is my most loyal fan, spelling mistakes because English is not my mother language, Possibly OOC. NO BETA, so beware of grammar mistakes
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Summary: Shota thought discovering their 'Nightwalker' to be a kid was bad enough. Not to mention how the said kid is literally Quirkless, meaning the law cannot touch him.
"I don't wanna be a Hero. It's too troublesome"
And then this?
Maybe it's not too late to ask Nezu for a raise this year…
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Or, being a good citizen and stopping an illegal back-alley transaction resulted in him getting some High-Ranking Villain's attention. He didn't even raise a hand at those A-holes. Just glaring at them hard enough, they turned tail.
This second-chance of life is so not worth it. What a drag…
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(A/N): After waiting for so long…it's finally here, guys! Izuku's POV!
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Izuku knew he was projecting.
He knew it, but he couldn't help it.
He saw an image of a cheery boy wearing a fur hoodie in Bakugo Katsuki. Boisterous, too sure in his own skill, someone needed to smack him down a peg so he won't kill himself because of his overconfidence. Not to mention, both of them love dogs too.
He saw an image of his own mother in Midoriya Inko. Of course, the plump woman is also his mother in this universe, but no. he wasn't talking about that. He was talking about her personality. Or rather, the hidden personality within her. Inko may be nice and shy, a heartwarming person and a wonderful mother. But when others tried to hurt her precious people, she lashed out. Her mouth started spewing hurtful word and she won't hesitate to bring the argument to the side of the law if need be; a perk of being a social lawyer. Izuku's skill in threatening people didn't just come from his previous life, see. It also thanks to her and her protective streak.
He saw an image of his own father too in Midoriya Hisashi, even if he never met the man directly except for the face cam. The man was too cheerful to be the reincarnation of a war general. However, that intellect, that skill in negotiating. How there was this glint in his eyes whenever everything he wanted was going according to plan. Izuku loves playing online shogi or chess with him in their free time. It almost like the good, old day.
He saw an image of his…teacher in Tsukauchi Naomasa. Their sense of justice, worry for other people's safety to the point they lose their sleep over it. After the first few of Izuku's night walk (the nightmare was too much. He needed to get away. He needed to escape the suffocating darkness—) Naomasa was readily happy to check on him. Bringing some dessert to snack on or indulging Izuku in his need of chewing the gum (he couldn't smoke in his current form. His mother is going to have an aneurysm). The police officer was his second father, just like how his old teacher used to be.
He saw an image of their vice-leader in Aizawa Shota. It was such a jarring thing to see, when Izuku first met him. After he knew he didn't have his usual trick in this universe and could only depend on the Killing Intent technique to survive (because Killing Intent is not a unique thing, apparently. It almost like 'Determination'. Everyone has it. You just have to cultivate it), his nightly walk turned into a nightly patrol. And that particular day, was where his nightmare felt too real for his taste, that he immediately went to see the first trouble he encountered. To vent his emotion out.
Shota then appeared from the sky. Subduing the two robbers efficiently, effectively.
And Izuku. Izuku was having a brief flashback. Of the same person wearing the same dark clothing along with a half-face mask. Hiding their true power beneath a well-crafted persona—Shota, with his tired, always-prime-to-fall-asleep mask. And his previous vice-leader, with his cheerful and perverted mask—yet ready to unleash the dirty trick they prepared as long as the civilians are safe. The greenette was stunned. He almost thought that he was back to his old world (it reminded him when the man taught Izuku of how to be a good Agent. That move, that intensity, that sneakiness. His second teacher may not be the leader of the Hidden Organization anymore, but the skill will never, ever be dull).
Then he blinked. And that vision was gone.
(Leaving another heartache that will always fester like a bleeding wound)
After that slight 'ride to the past', Izuku's 'journey to find the similarity' continued.
He saw an image of an old leader with a tobacco addiction in Nezu. Both of them were crafty, wise, a good dean with a tragic backstory. Oh, he could see, of course. Even without the need to hack the official file in the government record. He knew Nezu is the victim of torture. That flash of dread he saw in those beady, black orbs was a clear indication.
(Izuku saw those kinds of flashes within his own eyes, after all)
He saw an image of a meek girl with purple hair In Uraraka Ochako. A sweet little thing. Except in this universe, she was more confident. More sure of herself. She wasn't the girl who had to face the backlash of her family alone. She was the girl who was ready to face the world so she could protect her precious people. Look at how big of a difference it was, when a kid was put in a supportive family. They may be a bit poor, but wealth wasn't a guarantee for a happy life in the first place.
He saw an image of a stiff teenager wearing sunglasses in Iida Tenya. Strict and following the rules to a T. The bespectacled boy was just like Katsuki, where someone needed to slap a common sense into him so he won't do something—or rather—do nothing that will land him in a situation he couldn't fix. Rules are there to keep you in order, sure. But sometimes, rules were suffocating. His best friend will die in a gruesome way if he didn't come to save him. No matter how that action caused the enemy to easily captured Izuku in the process. Where the hurt, the pain, the despair happened, make it stop, make it stop, MAKE IT STOP—
He saw an image of the said best friend slash teammate in Kirishima Eijiro. Friendly, nice, ready to help people in need. Their power may differ, but the application of it was the same. Where both of them stood tall like a wall on the front-line, ready to be a shield for his friends to duck behind.
He saw an image of his other teammate in Asui Tsuyu. A big sister everyone needed to ground them down (and when she's gone, everything crumbled). Izuku was kind of glad the frog girl didn't have the same bossy tone though, even if the too-direct approach and no-sugar-coating was still there. No matter how he missed her, he didn't want to face that attitude once more.
And then there was Kaminari Denki.
The first time he saw the electric boy, his body immediately straightened, steps instantly halted. Izuku saw an image of him. Very clearly. Of the boy with the same hair color and blue eyes. Of the boy he vowed to follow. Of the boy he failed to protect. Denki came. Bumbling through the class like a penguin on a rollerskate with a smile so fake, the greenette grimaced. A happy go lucky teen who silently screamed for help because—stupid selfless brat—they didn't want to cause a problem to anyone so he didn't let others hear his desperate plea.
Not to mention, Todoroki Shoto.
He literally saw an image of a red-haired insomniac in him. Full of hatred and sadness. Wanting others to see him as he was and not someone else's shadow.
Both of them. Both of them. Even in this universe, both of them were still just as moronic as before. At least Denki had tried to ask for help, even if the therapist he attended before was useless. Seriously. You didn't just say to a four years old child that he's doomed to be a brainless idiot (not exactly what that therapist said, but the sentiment was the same anyway). Just because his Quirk fried his brain, doesn't mean he's a lost cause. This is why he hated this universe. The moment everyone believed that Quirk is useless, then it's useless. Stupid prejudice and stupid shallow mind.
Yet Shoto? He just let the problem fester. Izuku knew the heterochromatic child couldn't help it—abused victim tended not to believe in others (God, how it took him too long to cajoled his leader to speak about his own problem rather than skirting around it)—however, it still irked him otherwise. Because it reminded him how he screwed it all off before. He knew the sign was there. He was just being a pig-headed lazy bum who tried to ignore things that didn't suit his ideal world, what was his past him thinking?!
That was why he'll help them. As he felt like his late leader and the leader's brother-in-arms will kill him for good if he didn't get a grip in this second-chance of life.
(It was so hard, though. So, so hard when you're not here with me)
(Everyone…I missed you so mu—)
Izuku is protective. Twice as protective, if he said so himself. He failed the first time around, he didn't want to fail this time either. Didn't want to feel their blood on his hand any longer—
So, when USJ came, he snapped. His Hidden Agent persona came full force (he's wearing the outfit too. The same outfit his leader picked for him. What an ironic twist of fate, for his new mother to accidentally found his doodles (that he made in an attempt to chase the nightmare away) and turned that same sketch into a full-functioning bodysuit. Really, Fate sure is a bitc—). Izuku buried his panic and worry to the deepest part of his psyche and let the task at hand be his first priority (defend, attack, protect, kil—). Hitoshi and Tsuyu may be traumatized, but they were alive. And he was okay with that.
It didn't just stop there. League of Villain won't forgive and forget and instead, hiring another mercenary to do the deed. When he first saw the short video Shoto sent to him, of Stain standing over the bleeding Tenya, he felt his heart just rose to his throat. Clearly, his first impression was right. In this world—
It's killed or be killed.
He didn't hold back when the botched camp training happened then. Gouging the villain's eyes without mercy and torturing the girl till the dead come knocking. He did chide himself for getting trapped in his nightmare (the 'persuasion' trick she did remind him too much with his past experience), that he did such a messy job with her; his method was usually tidier than this, courtesy of his previous torturer. What a lucky thing that the basement and the warehouse were right beside each other, however. Not to mention with a bunch of heroes (pretentious jerk) who was trying to save him had given him ample time to rummage through the wares and produced a simple yet effective way to discard the evidence. So, that thing was taken care of.
Then the final battle came and All for One peek into his mind.
(His repressed emotions just burst like a balloon right there and then)
How dare he, how dare he, how. Dare. He?!
That power wasn't his! It was hers! It belongs to her! It belongs to his big sister, to his teammate, to his friend!
I won't let him tarnish her legacy. I won't let him tarnish her family legacy—
"Why are you siding with the heroes, Midoriya Izuku?" All for One asked, after he woke up from whatever trance he got the moment he was out from Izuku's mind. They were still locked in this dangerous dancing of theirs. Punching, kicking, slashing. It was obvious the villain wasn't taking him seriously, he didn't use the devastating aspect of his Quirk to him so far (no matter how trained Izuku was in the art of killing, he could do nothing if the intended target knew every step he will make. Assassin relies on surprise attacks, after all. But God damn, he'll try it anyway), All for One was just humoring the kid. Must be thinking to show the media how useless Heroes are. Letting a child thrice under their age to fight their fight. The older man grabbed the broken pole from Izuku's grip and yanked it away. The kid himself immediately went to grab for the piece of glass he hid on the back of his boxer and use it as an impromptu kunai. It failed, deflected to the side, and both of them were now facing each other in a comfortable distance, "you know the hero didn't save your friend, hm? Instead, it was the other way around, wasn't it?"
"SHUT UP!" the greenette's growled low and let his Killing Intent intensified, chocking anyone around who was unfortunate enough to be within his vicinity, "don't you dare speak about my leader that way!"
"But I was right, wasn't I? That your friend—"
"Have to be the hero himself, I KNOW!"Izuku finished, teeth glinted, "yes. I hated heroes. I hate it with all my might. How couldn't I? When my leader needed them? When he was suffering from a power he never wished to have? For a fate, he never wished to burden? He was belittled, punched and kicked. While these 'heroes'" he spat the name with enough venom, everyone could almost feel it on their own tongue, "only needed to have three years of education, an exam without real danger and whoop-de-fucking -do, you're a hero?! Disgusting. Fucking bullshit!"
The crowd fell into a hush, widened eyes were seen around the fallen comrades. Yet Izuku didn't care. He didn't care as he glared hard at the ancient enemy, "my leader…myfriend. He was a real hero. Even though he knew there's no guarantee those bastards will ever, ever accept his existence, he went and protect them anyway," the fight went to a stall as Greeny cried. He cried and cried, baring his heart for anyone to see. A heart of a tired man. A heart of a tired warrior, "I tried to respect his last wish. To protect innocent people in his stead and stop the war from ever happening. I really tried! But I still don't understand. I don't understand how he could be so forgiving. I don't understand how he could smile like that when he was hurt. How could he promised me that everything will be fine as he was dying right in my hand?!"
There was blood, seeping through his trembling fingers—
Get it off, get it off, get it off, get it OFF—
(Why didn't you come? Izuku wailed to the night sky. There's a 'villain' right in front of us, why didn't you come?)
(Why. Didn't. You. Save. My. Friends?)
Izuku knew he was projecting. These people never do him, nor his late friends, any wrong. Be it the heroes or the villain. They didn't know reincarnation is real. They didn't know Inko's only son is not a child. Never a child. This was just him throwing a temper tantrum. A misplace anger. A Survivor Guilt.
He knew it, but he couldn't help it.
Because Midoriya Izuku—
("Promised me…that you're going to be nice," the dying face of a brave soldier swam in his hazy sight. The red, red, red on his face smeared his brilliantly, sunny yellow to a disgusting color. His smile was tiny. Sad. He reached his trembling hand over the Agent's face and wipe his tears away, saying, "promised me…that you're going to be happy—
("Shikama—" )
Because Nara Shikamaru just missed his friends so much.
(A/N): Yeah! The official revelation! Finally! Even I've been waiting for this for so long :'D
*If you realized, their conversation here is not in Italic just like the previous chapters. Because it's Izuku's POV and not a flashback from other character's POV.
**Izuku's speech here is equal to Stain's speech now
(Fudge. I'm actually crying as I wrote this, dang)