Chapter 23: You need to go
Sonny's chewing gum as he stands staring at Alex who's confidently conversing with Blackburn and the others in the group. He's standing next to Clay, both of them still drinking, though it's noticeable that they've lost count exactly how many beers.
Maybe the beer is what gives him confidence to speak up "So Alex..." he calls out, sauntering towards him, while looking back at Clay, over his shoulder, who's suddenly concerned about what Sonny's might say "..how long you and Kelsey known each other? I mean you seem really close to me, just to be friends and I was wonderin if there was somethin more to it."
Alex frowns. He takes a long drink from his beer and then smiles as he faces Sonny "Oh, we've known each other years. Too many. I don't know... since we were kids really. " He can feel a tension to this questioning "You know, when her parents got killed, her aunt took her, and her brothers in. And they lived next door to me. My father and her uncle were best friends, we kinda all grew up together."
"You older than her, right? "
"Mmmm hmm! Yeah " He sips from his beer wondering what the point in the questioning is "I guess I think there's about five years between us. Is there a reason you want to know all this?"
"No" Sonny smirks "Just a conversation. You know how it is. Just tryna figure out why a guy, like you, would hang out with a woman who's havin' another man's baby. I mean seems kinda odd friendship, if you ask me. Come all this way, just cos she asks you to bring some clothes. I mean some people would think there's more to it than that, wouldn't they?"
"Can't say I would, no! Not when that's the way it is. Listen..." he smiles "I don't know what you think, but I care about Kelsey, with all my heart, always have. Her having a baby, whoever it's with, it doesn't change that."
For the first time since he arrived Alex has a frown on his face. Sonny's attitude is starting to severely annoy him. He continues to drink his beer, while giving Sonny a long, hard stare and the atmosphere is obviously very strained. Clay stays silent, throwing the odd glance in Sonny's direction as he listens to the conversation.
Ray looks at Eric. They both give Jason the same look, which says do something. Jason coughs awkwardly, knowing he's going to have to attempt to bring Sonny in line, without making a scene in front of everyone "You know what Sonny? I could do with another one of those steaks, and some more beer. Why don't we go get one."?
"Yeah sure thing, boss. Why don't we"
Sonny gets the intended hint and they both move away, over to where the barbecue's stationed. As they get there Jason sighs "Alright what the hell are you playin' at Sonny? You need to calm it down over there. The last thing we need right now is for anything to get out of hand. It's supposed to be a nice afternoon for Clay to show off his baby. Not for you to start world war three"
"Me boss? What you think... No. No, don't worry. I got it in control. Don't worry about me"
"Sonny..." Jason sighs, hushing his voice "..he's an officer, might not be the navy but that doesn't change the facts. Hell, he ranks higher than Blackburn, so you need to just cool it down, alright? This is not some bar fight with a bullet catcher, you go too far with this and it could have some repercussions for us. Certainly, if he wanted to take it that way. Now he seems a nice guy to me, but I don't wanna test that theory. At the end of the day he's still a cake eater and I'd say you'll only be able to push his buttons so far before he bites back. Sonny, last thing I need right now is to be bailing your, or Clay's ass out of some disciplinary. You get me?"
Sonny sighs and drinks his beer, he's not looking at Jason so he wonders if he's taking on board what he's saying "Sonny, do I make myself clear?"
"Oh yeah perfectly clear boss" Sonny laughs "What you mean is, if I hit him, don't get caught, right?" As Jason frowns, he continues to smile " Oh c'mon Jace...we said we got Clay's six on this. So far I don't see any of that from you. He's smug, arrogant with his fancy accent. And look at the way Miss Mandy's all over him, it's just not right. Clay's hurtin'. So, the less we make him feel welcome, the sooner we make it clear that we don't want him here, hopefully the sooner he'll leave. And that can't be a bad thing, right?"
Jason sighs "I get what you're saying Sonny. But just cool it, at least for today."
"Sure, whatever you say," Sonny salutes sarcastically "You gonna tell Clay the same thing? Cos if you didn't notice then let me tell ya, he's bubblin under the surface there. This guy could be trouble for them, and Clay don't need that right now. Hell, he's already worryin enough to get an appointment with a lawyer"
"A lawyer?" Jason frowns "What the hell's he want with a lawyer? Sonny, what's going on? There something I need to know about, something that might affect Clay?"
"Ah... it's nothin, well not yet. He just wants to check out his rights, you know with the baby. Make sure he can keep him here, if she was just to suddenly take off. He wants to know would he have the right to force the kid to stay here with him"
"But she's not thinking of doin' that, right? I mean it's not something she said. I thought they were getting along great. Every time I see them they're all over each other. So why the hell's he worryin'"?
"Oh, you know Clay" Sonny smiles "Look, I'm not sayin' she is, but... I don't know, Jace. My gut, it's got a bad feelin' about our Marine poster boy there. He just seems too good to be true. I mean the way they are with each other, all touchy feely. Nah, something stinks there. And I'm tellin ya last thing we need is him persuading her back to Blighty, right or encouraging this Navy thing. Clay don't need that. How the hell's he gonna cope with a baby on his own?"
Hmmm Jason sighs "Alright we'll keep an eye on it. Keep an eye on Clay too, after all you know what a hot head he can be. I don't want him gettin in over his head on this. And keep me in the loop about this lawyer thing, that could get way out of hand. We get through this next couple weeks, they get into a routine and things should settle down."
Sonny take a long drink from the bottle of beer in his hand as he looks over at Alex, who's still talking with Ray "I sure the hell hope so!"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Hey!" Alex smiles leaning himself over the back of the bench. Sunglasses on, beer in his hand he's enjoying the feel of the sun on his face. "How're you doing?" he strokes the back of her neck as she sits there in silence. "Kelsey?"
She still doesn't answer but now he's aware that she's crying again "Hey...hey, what the hell. Why are you crying? Kelsey, did someone upset you?" He frowns " please, just tell me what's wrong?"
"Sorry" she wipes her nose on the back of her hand and brushes the tears from her cheeks "I'm fine, really. You know I .. I didn't mean to drop you in the deep end with them, abandoning you. I just...I just needed to feed him"
"Hey c'mon you know me better than that. A few Navy rebels, they're not gonna worry me. But you crying like this, well that is more worrying. What on earth's the matter? "
"I'm fine. Really." she smiles looking up, her face all tear stained " I'm just tired, really tired. This..." Pheww! she takes a deep breath "this is harder than I thought it would be. And Clay...well I can tell, he's not happy. Mainly about you being here but some other stuff as well. You know he's convinced there's something going on, between us"
Hmmm Alex sighs "That would explain the interrogation I just received earlier" he smiles as she frowns at him "Oh no not Clay, don't worry, it was his cowboy pal. He was asking a lot of questions about how we knew each other"
"And what did you tell him? About us I mean"
" I told him the truth. That there's was nothing going on. That you're my friend. That we've been friends for a long time, that we grew up together, and that's how it is"
She sighs looking around, wiping the tears from her face as Alex sits himself on the bench next to her. She hushes her voice "You didn't mention about before, the past, when you were married?"
"No! God no!" he laughs "It's none of their damn business. Look Kelsey what happened between me and you before, it's no one's business. That's between me and you. So,don't worry about it. It's nothing to do with you and Clay now, so there's no reason he needs to know, right? Like you've said before we put that to bed..." he laughs " ...pardon the pun, a long time ago. So, what according to Clay you can't have any male friends?"
"No, he'll be fine. Oh Alex...this week, well it's just been a roller coaster. You know, with having him so suddenly. Hell, Clay didn't even know about the baby, now all this. It's a lot to cope with. It's a lot for both of us to take in. It's all a big shock if I'm honest"
"Hey c'mon, you're doing great, and as for Clay..." he sighs looking over this shoulder watching Clay staring at them "Well, I guess we'll just have to win him round, right?"
He smiles brushing her hair from her face "I'll be on my best behaviour, I promise. just for you" He smiles as she frowns "I will! I swear. Even if the Texan is pushing for a fight. You have a beautiful baby Kelsey, so just enjoy him. All that other stuff, well don't worry. Anyway, I gotta say I'm grateful that you stupidly got on that flight to come here. And that I didn't have chance to talk you out of it"
"You are ?" she frowns "Why's that?"
"Cos..." he laughs, drinking his beer. "It might be me suffering the sleepless nights if you'd stayed in the UK, and me the one with baby puke on me. A least this way I get to enjoy him without any of that"
She laughs "You are so stupid."
"Come here" he puts his arm around her as they sit watching Casey continue to feed. Alex strokes his cheek as she leans her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes, resting.
She sighs "I missed you. I missed this. Talking, laughing. It's been pretty crazy. I mean one minute I'm at the airport, next in a bar toilet giving birth. It's enough to send anyone mad."
"Yeah pretty standard for you though, crazy stuff I mean!" he laughs, and she bursts into tears "That was a joke!" He kisses the top of her head.
"I know. God why am I so emotional." She sighs. "Alex... you won't say anything though. I mean you won't let slip about what went on, in the past. Even if Clay pushes you"
"No! No, I promise. Scouts honour! I won't mention it, ever. Not if you don't want me to"
"I don't. Like you said that has nothing to do with now" she sighs "I'm glad you're here Alex, I missed you "
"Wow! Kelsey Roberts missed me, there is a god! Remind me to write that down for the next time we're arguing" He laughs "Anyway, all joking aside. I missed you too. Now come here". he pulls her in tight beside him
Casey finishes feed and she covers her herself. Pulling her bra and her shirt back into place "Well he doesn't seem like he wants to feed anymore" she rubs her hand gently across her chest. Mmmm she groans.
"You okay?"
Mmmm hmmm "Yeah, I...I just have a bit of pain. I think it's normal until things settle down. Well I guess it is. But something I do know, I am starving hungry. Shall we get some food, or are you just filling up on beer? Cos if you are, then you need to watch it with the jet lag"
"Hey, I have jet lag sussed so don't worry about me. You want some..." he holds the bottle towards her "There's only a mouthful left"
"No! No, I better not" she looks up checking on Clay over the other side of the park "I'm not supposed to, not while ... you know, feeding him"
"Oh, go on it's just a mouthful. He's just fed, doubt he'll even notice it. Go on! Be the rebel I know you are" he smiles
"Rebel? Maybe I used to be. I'm a mother now, I have responsibilities " she smiles, frowning as she looks at the temptation of the beer bottle "Oh okay." She smiles "What the hell, but be quick, before Clay sees, oh and Alex, not a word! I've already got coffee on my banned substances list. He'll do his nut about beer"
"I'm sure a mouthful of beer is not going to tip you over the edge "
She smiles. Putting the bottle to her lips she drinks what's left, which he's right is not much "Oh my god! Oh you know, I'd forgotten how good beer tastes" She grins. Looking at Alex, sat in the sunlight, his glasses on and she smiles thinking how good it is to see him again "It's been so long since I tasted it, I forgot I liked it."
She hands him the empty bottle back and then she fix's her shirt. Pulling it together and doing the top buttons up. Ssssssss! She takes a grimacing breath.
"You okay?" Alex frowns. He can see the look of pain on her face "Kelsey you would tell me if you've got a problem? Even from a medical point of view. Perhaps I can help?"
"It's nothing. I'm just a bit sore. I told you" she looks anxiously at him, and he frowns at her "Okay...it's this side more. It actually really hurts. It's really hard and painful."
"Probably, too much milk. Perhaps you need express some. relieve the pressure"
"Oh, listen to you Mr expert" she laughs dismissing his comment "You might have been a medic but what the hell do you know about breastfeeding? It's not exactly frontline stuff."
"Hey, it was in that booklet, from that class we went to at the hospital. Oh, I'll bet you didn't even bother to read it, did you?"
"No" she frowns "No not exactly. If It had told me it was going to be like this, every three hours I wouldn't have done it all!"
"See, you should read things, more carefully. Standard military planning gather all the intel you need " He laughs "Look, we'll look up some advice, when you get back but for now let's get you some food. You're hungry and you need to eat. And if we can't sort the other problem then we'll get you a doctor's appointment, and get it checked."
"Oh, I'll be fine don't worry"
"Thing is I do worry. Kelsey you know I love and care about you, I always will. So, worrying about you is part of my job"
She smiles, kissing his cheek "Yeah I get you. C'mon, you'll make me cry again, let's get some food"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"You good?" Clay frowns watching them as they re-join the group " I was gonna come over, but I didn't wanna interrupt the reunion between you and Mr perfect "
"Clay don't!" She sighs. "Look, I'm just gonna put him in the car seat. He's asleep now he's fed. And talking of food, I could do with some, I'm starving." she looks at him, he's still staring at Alex "Clay!.. Clay, come here"
She leans forward kissing him, he wraps his arm around her waist and as they continue to kiss, their tongues wrapping around each other. He pulls back frowning, looking her in the face "Have you been drinking beer? "
"What?" She frowns " Um...no. Well... just a tiny bit. I finished a mouthful that Alex had left in his bottle. It was literally a mouthful, if that"
"Kelsey!" he frowns "Oh my god, do you know how bad that is. I mean if anyone saw you."
"Clay calm down. You're overreacting. I'm sure one mouthful of beer isn't going to hurt either of us"
"Yeah but what if someone had seen? They wouldn't know it was just a mouthful would they. That would have looked really bad"
"Clay chill out, please! No one saw me, and like I said it was just a mouthful. It wasn't even that, it was just a taste" She sighs "Okay, perhaps you're right, it was a bit stupid but... " she frowns watching the look on his face, how anxious he is about it "Clay, I'm sorry I didn't realise it would upset you so much."
"I know, I'm sorry. It's just... I don't want people to think we're not good parents. That we're not doing our best"
"Clay..." She smiles stroking his face "no one's ever gonna think you're not doing your best. You're not Ash and honestly, no one's comparing you." She kisses him "Clay, you're a wonderful dad, he couldn't ask for better. You just need to relax a little, enjoy him." She sighs "Look I'm hungry. Just watch him a minute. Hey Sonny..." She calls over ".. you got one of those burgers ready?"
Alex is behind her at the barbecue, leaning over her shoulder, Mandy behind him "Hey wait your turn" she nudges her elbow into him, playfully pushing him away "Alex, it's ladies first" she laughs "only because I'm so hungry!"
"So, hey Sonny.. . " Alex takes a big sniff of the air "this barbecue smells good. Can't wait to try one of those steaks."
"Yeah nothin a Texan can't cook on a barbecue. It's what we do better than anyone else!"
"Oh, do you? Well um... do you do vegan?" Alex frowns
"What?" Sonny looks at him from across the smoking barbecue grill "Do I do vegan?" he frowns unsure what he means " I told you there's nothin Sonny Quinn can't barbecue, I am what you call a barbecue master"
"Oh really, so... " Alex smiles teasingly " so you can grill vegan rump steaks then?"
"What? Yeah sure. I mean yeah.." What the hell are vegan rump steaks? Sonny frowns "It don't matter what it is, you bring em I can barbecue em"
"I'll have to try some next time"
Sonny's frowning, confused he looks at Clay and Kelsey "What the hell are these vegan rump steaks ? I never heard of em. They some kinda Brit food"
"A what?" Kelsey frowns confused "Vegan, rump steak? No. No, Sonny vegan is not meat it's..." as the words the words come out of her mouth she sighs. Smiling she looks up at Alex "Was that you? Did you ask him for vegan? Seriously!" She frowns shaking her head annoyed.
He shrugs, a huge cheesy grin filling his face "Sorry couldn't resist. Too easy"
Sonny now realising that Alex is teasing him, takes offense "Hey you always such an asshat cos you know I don't find it funny. I'll have you know I take my barbecue very serious."
"Okay... okay it was a joke!" Alex smiles at him. Clay also gives him a disapproving look. Alex can't help but laugh and then he turns his attention back to Mandy.
"Such an arrogant asshole!" Clay sighs "I just hope he's not staying too long"
"Hey Clay, just ignore him. He just likes the attention. Don't give it to him. He'll be gone soon enough; we'll make sure of it. Anyways remember, you're the one here, with the baby and her, right? Not him. He's the outsider. He got nothin now. In the meantime, just bide your time and ignore him"
Conversations all suddenly stop and hands reach into pockets for cell phones as there a sudden chorus of bleeping sounds.
**Bleep** Bleep** Bleep ** Bleep
Shit! Sonny sighs as he checks his "Looks like we gotta go!"
Eric gathers everyone around "Okay get yourselves together guys. Just got word from base. The intel says the situation is hotting up and we need to roll out early"
Before Eric even addresses them Mandy's already gathered her belongings, and on the phone she waves her goodbyes. As she heads off she looks at Alex and smiles, gesturing with her hand for him to call her.
Kelsey looks up watching Clay as he holds his phone in his hand. He's staring at the screen. She bites her lip, placing her hand on his "You gotta go?"
"Yeah I..." He sighs. Frowning as he thinks "Look, I don't have to. I mean, I can tell Jason that you need me to stay. I can stand down."
She hesitates before answering, thinking about what she wants him to do "No. No, you should go. I mean this was gonna happen at some point, right? So, we may as well get over with."
He bites his lip looking at her , looking down at Casey in his car seat he's so torn. He enjoyed training yesterday, prepping for the mission and him not going, it is going to leave them a sniper short, but then leaving Casey behind, it's going to be a hard thing to do "I really don't have to. I mean I can stay. If that's what you want."
"Hey, you're ready to go. You did the training, yeah? We knew it was gonna happen at some point this week. It's just sooner than we thought. Come on. You need to do this. It's your job"
Jason's beside them now "You okay?" he frowns "Somethin' wrong? "
"No, no I guess not. I'm just... you know, I'm not sure about going. I mean, they need me here"
"You don't wanna go? You wanna stand down? I'm fine with it, if that's what you want. Just say the word"
"No!" Kelsey interrupts kissing his lips gently "You should go. I'll be fine. Really Clay, we'll be okay. And besides, Alex is here so it's not like I'll be totally on my own. He can help out. He won't mind"
"You know..." Clay sighs, the thought of Alex being with them makes him wobble " maybe I should just stay this time. I mean, we've only had him a few days, perhaps it would be for the best"
Jason shrugs "Up to you man. Your call. I got no problem if you wanna stay, but you need to decide fast cos we're getting ready to roll out right now." He smiles at them both. He can see the conflict "Look I'll give you a minute alone. Let me know what you decide. I mean I want ya there, but I totally get it if you don't want to. Clay I get it I do. No hard feelings. It's priorities right. Welcome to the hard part of being a dad, Clay"
Kelsey smiles wrapping her hands around Clay's waist leaning her head against his chest. Listening to the sound of his heart thumping hard inside "Clay, you should go. Really, we'll be fine. You probably won't be gone long. It will fly past"
"Oh god!" He sighs a long deep breath "I don't know if I can. I mean... I .. it's so hard. Leaving him. Leaving you both, like this"
"Hey, I'm gonna miss you too. and so is he. But we'll be here waiting. When you get back" She stops the tear on her cheek, quickly wiping it away "Go do your work." she sighs "But Clay... please be careful. We need you to come back" Her lip quivers and now she can't stop crying the thought of him going makes her throat dry and a pain in her chest "Please... just go. It's what you do, right. We can't change that. So, it's something we have to learn to live with."
His eyes to fill with tears as he holds her tight against him "Okay!" he nods, the knot in his throat hurts "Okay I'll...I'll go. You be good, alright" he smiles, brushing her hair from her face "Get some rest, and Kelsey... I'm sorry about earlier. I don't mean to be so anxious all the time. I just... I just want the best for him"
"I know..." she kisses him "I know you do. And you're giving him the best." She lifts Casey from his travel seat and hands him to Clay
"Hey little man!" he cuddles him tight to his chest. His arms wrapped around his tiny body and now he feels like he's going to cry. He takes a deep breath, kissing his head "Daddy's gonna miss you so much. But I'm only gonna be gone a few days. Then I'll be back for cuddles. I promise." He wipes a tear off his cheek handing him back to Kelsey "Here take him. I need to go!"
Kelsey cries openly now "Sorry...sorry, I don't mean to." Pheww She takes long deep breaths her throat aches "Oh god this is hard, right?"
Mmmm hmmm Clay can't speak for fear of crying and he pulls Kelsey toward him, holding them both against him. "I'm gonna miss you both so much!"
Sonny's at his shoulder "Hey Blondie, you ready to roll" he acts as naturally as he can, but seeing how hard Clay's taking it, he can feel the emotions churning inside "C'mon I need a ride!"
Mmmm hmmm! Clay nods "I love you both. So much. I'll see you when I get back"
Alex is over he wraps his arms over Kelsey's shoulders as she continues to cry. "I'll keep an eye on them for you. Everything will be alright. You know I'm a little jealous." he smiles trying to lighten the mood and get a little more on Clay's side "You getting to go off, me having to say with the wives and kids, something I'm not used to. Clay look, I know we didn't get off on the right footing but...it is good to meet you." he puts his hand out and reluctantly Clay exchanges greeting.
He doesn't feel at all good about leaving Kelsey, not with him here, but he's really got no choice and even he admits it's good that she has someone here for her. "You gonna be okay getting back? I mean I'll be taking the truck. You need me to get you a cab?"
"No. No, I'll be fine" She smiles, wiping her tears. She takes a breath trying to stay strong and not get upset in front of Clay before he goes. "Just leave me the car seat and bag, Alex has a hire car I'm sure he can drop us back"
"Yeah! Of course, it's not a problem. Anything I can do to help. Hell, it's not like I have anything else to do is it" he laughs
"Okay then." Clay frowns, kissing her on the cheek, he then walks away. She takes a breath and leaving Casey in the travel seat with Alex she runs after him.
"Clay!" she calls out. Standing in front of him, stroking his cheek, tears rolling down her face "I'm gonna miss you so much!"
"Hey.. " he smiles stroking her hair "..it's gonna be fine. I'll be back before you know it!" he leans in, holding her chin and he kisses her long and deep.
"Yeah, yeah I know" Her hand resting against his chest, she smiles. Then biting her bottom lip teasingly "You know when you get back we could um...maybe find some ways to... to you know. Release some of your pressure, that tension you were feeling" she smiles.
Mmmm! "Now that" he grins " sounds worth coming home for" He kisses her again "Some Mommy and Daddy time would be very nice indeed."
"Yeah we'll see." she smiles "Just take care. I'll see you soon"
As she watches him walk away, he doesn't look back again. She finally caves in and starts crying openly. She sobs uncontrollably into her hand as Alex brings Casey over to where she's standing. He turns her around, pulling her close he comforts her, as she continues to cry into his chest
"Hey Shhh! C'mon, it's gonna be okay. Kelsey, he'll be back before you know it" He lets out a long sigh "You're tired. Let's just get you both home"