Chapter 19: An Octopus, a Human, a Chicken Leg Nightmare
"Whoa, where are we going, Wind?" asked Ben
"I KEEP TELLING YOU TO BE PATIENT JUST A FEW MORE STEPS!" I shouted I just wasn't up for his nonsense right now. but I carefully led a blindfolded and straightjacketed Ben Tennyson through Downtown and into Townsville Park, where Vilgax was happily and nervously sitting on a bench wearing a bowtie and holding a rose that was rapidly wilting from his stress.
"okay, here we are!" I said and removed the straightjacket, then the blindfold.
Ben blinked a few times, then saw Vilgax sitting there like a proper gentlemen or at least like he was ready for prom.
"oh, uh, hi, Vilgax," said Ben and he sat down next to his new alien buddy. "what's going on? and what's with the garb?"
Vilgax looked at me, startled! Ben really didn't realize what was going on here?! "uhh," Vilgax began. looking back at Ben, "w-well, Tennyson, I... I-I have a few things I'd like to say to you..."
"it's not more whining over how many times I kicked your butt, is it?" ben joked, crossing his legs and bringing his hands behind his head.
"uh, heh heh, no," Vilgax stuttered, breathing in Ben's poise like a lovesick man. "it's about... us."
"what? do you not like being friends?"
"no... I mean, yes! I just..." VIlgax looked around wildly, Ben looked at him with a hurt and confused expression, then Vilgax grasped Ben's arms and pulled him close. doing so accidentally doslocated both the human's shoulders and he screamed in pain but Vilgax snapped them back into their sockets and everything was fine. Ben lowered his arms so it wouldn't happen again and Vilgac continued, "T-Tennyson, I am afraid I have developed feelings for you. intense feelings. feelings driven by testosterone that I simply cannot ignore anymore. you are one of the bravest aliens I have ever met, and you have stolen my little Chimera Sui Generis heart." Vilgax leaned in close to Ben. "you have whooped my ass many a time, Ben Tennyson, but I'll give you an even greater victory. you can have it." then he paused for a moment to let it all sink in and after that kissed Ben furiously.
I couldn't help crying tears of joy at the sight. Vilgax had been a total wreck after Ben got his rear probed by that chicken-leg-wielding eyebulb back during the Battle of Heroes Hollowe. I had consoled him or at least tried to in the waiting room while they were piecing Ben's ass back together. he was so hurt and angry that Fuse had hurt his beloved like that. as soon as he could he was at Ben's bedside, comforting him and bringing him smoothies, I even heard he gave him a sponge bath but that could've been just rumor among the nurses.
Vilgax finally let Ben go so they could both breathe. Ben was covered in black lipstick prints. he was dazed and confused. but finally he looked at Vilgax. "Vilgax... I... never knew you felt this way..."
"oh, I do," Vilgax cried, salty tears running down his octopus face. "I feel this way so much."
"then give me some sugar, squidsy!"
soon they were making out on the bench and I looked away to give them some privacy. trhen the ground started shaking and they both started screaming.
"wow you guys are really having fun!" I said. "think maybe you should take this back to the hosptial or something...?"
no answer. I turned around. THE WHOLE GROUND WAS BUCKLING UNDERNEATH THEM! AND THE BENCH WAS THROWN INTO THE AIR AND THEY WERE BOTH SCREAMING AND PANICKING AND HOLDING ONTO EACH OTHER FOR DEAR LIFE BUT IT WASN'T ENOUGH!
"GUYS!" I called out and grabbed my driehander, things were about to get serious!
suddenly another tremor ran under them and Ben was shaken out of Vilgax's grasp! "BEN!" Vilgax screamed as he helplessly watched his boyfriend fly out of his arms and into the newly-formed abyss below.
"OH FOCK" I shouted angrily, and ran over to where the bench was now laying, it was up on a small hill of newly-churned dirt and grass. "are you okay?!"
"forget about me!" Vilgax said. "whe have to help Ben!"
I helped him up - his legs were both broken, and bending sideways. but like the warlord he was he was taking it like a champ. but still, there was no way he could walk like this.
"Vilgax, you need to rest. you won't be doing any favors for Ben or yourself with your legs snapped like this," I said.
"but... I have to help him... have to help Ben..." Vilgax slurred, the adrenaline was wearing off.
"don't worry, I'll go find him," I said and gave him a hug. he squished in my embrace. "and I'm going to call an ambulance. don't worry, everything will be fine."
he cried and thanked me, but then immediately passed out from the pain. I dialed the hospital (we were on a first-name basis by now good gravy) and told them to bring an ambulance by the park, then ran up to the huge pit in the middle of the park. well acutally right now it was the park. I couldn't see Ben, but I could hear screams of terror from deep inside.
"goin' down," I said, and jumped in.
there were lots of floating platfors in here and I brought out my rocket nano to help jump along them... which just so happened to be Decter. I swore and covered my face, unable to look at him. the pain of losing my dear crimson-haired genius was too much.
"darn it..." I said and sank to my nees. I'd never see Decter again. hold him in my arms. make love to him. and it was all my fault.
"what is wrong, Wind?" asked my nano.
"not right now, Dexter," I said, weeping even harder when I said his name. "I... I just can't..."
my nano suddenly flew down and touched my shoulder. "he still loves you, you know."
blinking, I turned to look at him. "how could you know that?"
"well, duh. I am his nano."
"true..." I said, sniffling. nano Dexter sat on my shoulder as I regained my composure. "it's just... even if he forgives me for making love to a frigging tree, he'll still never be able to dine on my fine finnan haddie again thanks to my chlamydia... so we're still done for..."
"is that all he means to you? just someone to make love to?" my nano asked.
"no! of course not!"
"then this shouldn't be on your mind."
I froze. he was right. entirely right. "oh... oh, no... nano Decter... you're so completely right!"
"of course I am," he said matter-of-factly. "I am the nano of the greatest genius to ever live behind Einstein."
"oh, thank you, nano Dexter!" I said and hugged him tightly. "if and when Decter and I get back together, I will name you as our firstborn son."
"thank you," he said, "now I must return to your nanocom as I am out of stamina. good day."
then he vanished just as I reached for my bottle of nano potion. "wait, wait... DARN IT!" I shouted because I was too late, and threw the bottel against the pit wall where it shattered and expensive potion rained down everywhere.
but angry as I was, I had to shake it off - Ben's screaming was much closer now!
I jumped down the rest of the way, shattering my ankles in the process but there he was, Ben was trapped in a puddle of fusion matter and was being attacked by none other than Fusion Ben!
"I'LL SAVE YOU BEN!" I shouted, and lunged for the Fusion with my dreihander ready. letting out a loud war cry, I cliced the fusion in halves, and its top half slid off and onto the ground with a sickening plop.
"eugh, gross!" I said, then rushed to Ben's side. he was muddy and pale and emaciated. "Ben, are you alright?"
"BEHIND YOU!" he shrieked, and I turned. Fusion ben was reforming himself!
"OH, NO!" I shouted, and held onto dear life onto Ben. we knew this was it. we weren't going to make it.
"not if I can help it!" shouted another voice, and two sets of feet fell down into the abyss!
there, not six feet away, were Vilgax and... Decter!
"Decter?!" I asked, startled.
he just stared at me with an angry look on his face, but maybe that was because of the Fusion...? a girl can hope.
Vilgax was a real trooper and despite the fact that his legs were still broken and he was waddling about on his knees, he brought his hand up and sliced through Fusion Ben with his sharp fingernails, followed by Dexter bashing the living daylights out of it until it finally died thank goodness.
Ben screamed loudly in my arms from the ordeal and fainted. the poor man, he'd been through too much lately, cruel war. Vilgax ran to him and I handed him over and he cried over Ben's corpse.
"I'll call in an ambulance for you both," said Decter and he opened up his flip phone and dialed 911.
"D... Decter..." I began, looking up at him from the ground. "oyu... came to rescue me?"
he looked at me, his expression blank at first, then he slowly smiled. "Wind... we have a lot to talk about."