So, I finally decided where I wanted to go with this story, I hope you enjoy and thank you for the lovely reviews, it's interesting to see what you think about where I'm going to go with it...
16th May 2023
Glancing at the alarm clock on the side of the bed, Carla's attempts at sleeping seemed to fade into nothingness, she decided she would just stay awake, she sat on the edge of the bed watching Isobel sleep, placing one of her fingers into the palm of Isobel's hand, watching her kick her legs and grasp onto her finger. She smiled, it wasn't a happy smile, it was more of a mournful smile, she reaches into the basinet and picks Isobel up holding her close to her chest as she grasps onto a piece of Carla's hair.
"Hey gorgeous" Carla beams as Isobel snuggles into her chest, Carla leaving the bedroom with Isobel to go into the twins nursery, looking out of the window
"You see that star up there" Carla points as Isobel grunts "That star is you sweetheart, you're so special to me, I can't believe your sister sent you, I love you so much"
Waking up around an hour later to Florence's cries Peter reached out beside him trying to wake Carla knowing that Florence probably wanted a feed, but he felt nothing, Carla wasn't there, he picked Florence up and walked onto the landing, the soft glow of the nightlight in the twins room was shining, so he stepped into the room trying his best not to startle Carla as she seemed to be in some sort of trance, but Florence cries did that for him.
"Hey…" Peter whispers as Carla holds Isobel to her chest as she rocks back and forth on the rocking chair staring out the window, at the stars
"Hi" Carla smiles rubbing Isobel's back as Florence continues to cry
"I think she wants feeding" Peter smiles as Carla bites her lip, placing Isobel in one of the cots and taking Florence off Peter to feed her, Peter picking Isobel up and holding her close
"She's not hungry Peter" Carla states as Peter sighs, Florence obviously feeling the tension in Carla's body, placing Isobel in the cot, Carla watching as he does this, Peter bending down in front of her
"Relax, remember what the doctor said when Aidan was born and wouldn't feed, you need to relax" Peter smiles stroking her hair as she nods closing her eyes and leaning back, Peter helping her by placing the nursing pillow on her lap
"Come on darling I know you're hungry" Carla says guiding Florence's head to the source of food as she finally latches on
"There we are" Peter smiles kissing Carla's forehead as he goes to pick Isobel up, ready to change her
"Peter she's just been changed" Carla glares anxiously Florence sensing the tension immediately letting out a wail, Carla placing her in the cot and collecting Isobel
"Do you want me to try her with a bottle?"
"There's some milk downstairs that I pumped as well as formula" Carla mumbles holding Isobel as Peter takes Florence into his arms and goes downstairs to make her a bottle leaving Carla to talk to Isobel
"It's ok, mummy's here she won't let people take her away from you" Carla kisses Isobel's forehead repetitively as Isobel snuggles into her chest, Carla going to sit on the rocking chair again
"Carla can we speak darlin?" Peter questions holding Florence who had now been fed
"About what?" she narrows her eyes, as Isobel starts to cry "Oh sweetheart, you're ok, come on go back to sleep"
"It's nothing you need to worry about ok? I just think we need to go to the doctor's that's all" Peter smiles as Carla laughs thinking how incredulous it was
"Peter…I understand you care and want what's best for me but I don't need a doctor, I'm fine"
"Carla, can we just go and see what they say? Humour me" Peter suggests as she raises an eyebrow glancing down to Isobel who had her eyes open Carla's expression turning into a beaming smile
"Peter look" Carla smiles beckoning him over as he grins reaching out to stroke her cheek
"Don't, I want her to keep them open, they're stunning" Carla smiles as Peter nods in agreement taken aback by the fact she wouldn't let him touch his child
"They're so blue but they have a green tinge to them"
"They look like Eloise's" Carla smirks as Peter frowns, confused, they never saw Eloise's eyes, she had the mask on her eyes to shield them from the harsh light of the incubator and when she did pass, Eloise's eyes were closed when they finally got to hold her
"I guess they do…" Peter plays along as Carla grins up at him giving him a peck on the lips and giving Florence a kiss on the head
"Why don't you have a cuddle with Flo, she could do with some love from her mum" Peter suggests as Carla raises her eyebrows, her face dropping
"Are you saying I don't love her?" Carla questions as Peter shakes his head confused at how she turned rather defensive all of a sudden
"No not at all darlin' I just think that she might want a cuddle" Peter suggests offering Florence to Carla as she sighs moving into the bedroom with Isobel, now that both of them were fed, Carla sitting up in bed placing Isobel on her chest gesturing for Peter to place Florence on her chest as well
"There we are, all comfy" Carla smiles as Peter grabs a blanket to drape over them both as Aidan comes bounding into the room considering it was now practically light outside
"Hey Aidy" Peter smiles as Aidan climbs up into bed grinning at Peter showing him his toy that he collected on the way
"Daddy! Look!" he grins running his toy car along the duvet covers as Peter grins going to tickle him
"Do you want to say hi to your sisters?" Peter questions as Aidan shuffles up to sit next to Carla as he glances down to the babies which were huddled against Carla's chest
"Hi" Aidan whispers as Carla smiles stroking Isobel's head Aidan reaching out to touch her as Carla moves his hand away Aidan frowning
"Car, let him say hi?" Peter questions concerned now
"I just don't want him to wake them up" Carla whispers, Aidan going to touch Florence's head as she sneezes
"Oh dear" Aidan grins as Carla smiles at him glancing back down to see Florence's hand intertwined with Isobel's, moving Florence's hand so she didn't interfere with her sister
"They're funny when they sneeze aren't they?" Carla grins as Aidan nods grinning at her, Peter typing out a text to Michelle to see if she could come around
"Who?" Aidan questions pointing to Florence
"That's Florence" Carla smiles "Can you say Florence?" Carla questions
"Flor" Aidan grins struggling to say Florence's name, pointing to Isobel
"No…that one's Isobel" Carla grins as Aidan frowns, Peter laughing
"Yeah they'll confuse you sweetheart" Carla smiles patting Aidan's head as Isobel starts to whimper stretching her arms
"Oh dear" Carla smiles kissing one of Isobel's hands as she stretches out
"Right then Aidy, what do you want for breakfast?" Peter questions as Carla looks up at him
"Chocolate spread" Aidan grins as Carla raises her eyebrows looking at Peter who just laughs
"Alright then" Peter smiles "Do you want anything Car?"
"Umm no I'm alright, perfectly comfortable snuggling with these two" she smiles as Peter nods, Simon coming into the room
"Hey Si" Carla smiles as he grins
"Hey, I was just going downstairs but as all of the family are in here I thought I'd join in" he grins sarcastically as Carla laughs, Isobel starting to cry
"Oh dear, what's up now eh?" Carla questions as Isobel tugs on Carla's top suggesting she wanted a feed
"Ok, let me just put Florence down then I will be all yours" Carla smiles picking Florence up and placing her in the moses basket ready to feed Isobel, Isobel latching on immediately Peter raising an eyebrow suspiciously, why was Carla so calm while feeding Isobel and not Florence?
"Si could you take Aidan downstairs and get him some breakfast?" Peter questions as Simon nods, lifting Aidan up into his arms as he squeals excitedly
"Sure come on then mate, leave daddy to deal with our dastardly sisters" Simon grins as Aidan sticks his tongue out, Simon staking Aidan downstairs, Peter watching Carla as she drinks in Isobel
"Hey baby girl, hey…you're so pretty" Carla smiles down at Isobel as she feeds, Carla playing with Isobel's hand
"She is beautiful just like her sister" Peter smiles as Carla nods in agreement, he wasn't expecting that, Carla seemed to be so anti Florence and the face that she just compared Isobel to Florence made his heart swell
"Yeah she looks just like Eloise" Carla smiles as Peter's shocked to the bone, but smiles anyway to play along with Carla and her thoughts
"Michelle's going to pop around to have a gander at the babies, is that alright?" Peter questions as Carla doesn't answer still engrossed in making sure Isobel was alright feeding off her
"Carla?"
"Yeah sure whatever" Carla beams as she goes to burp Isobel against her shoulder
"Alright then, do you need any help?" Peter questions as Carla shakes her head, Florence starting to cry
"I'll change her don't worry, go downstairs and be with Aidan" Carla suggests as Peter nods kissing her forehead
"Get some rest yeah, you barely slept last night, once they're settled of course" Peter smiles leaving the room, Carla placing Isobel in the moses basket and taking Florence out, going to change her in the nursery
"I don't know why I'm doing this to be honest…" Carla starts glancing down to Florence as she squirms around on the changing mat
"I'll do this to make them happy… not because I want to" Carla states changing Florence, buttoning up her sleepsuit and taking her back into the bedroom placing her in the moses basket as there was a knock on the door
"Come in?" Carla questions as Michelle comes in holding Ava
"Hey"
"Oh hi…" Carla trails off from looking on her phone, Isobel rested on her chest again
"Hey, how are my nieces doing?" Michelle questions placing Ava down on the bed, Michelle sitting next to Carla
"Good" Carla replies mysteriously as Michelle raises an eyebrow, Ava stretching her legs bashing her toy on the bed covers
"Hey darlin" Carla grins, giving Ava a tickle, Ava smiling at the attention
"Oh wow she's smiling now?" Carla grins pinching Ava's chubby cheeks gently as she grins clapping her hands together as she lays on the bed
"Yeah she's a happy girl, how about these two then?" Michelle questions as Florence starts to cry again, probably wanting food
"Swap?" Michelle grins taking Florence and handing her to Carla trying to feed her, Michelle placing Isobel in the moses basket, her body stiff with tension, Florence picking up on it
"Come on Florence" Carla sighs stressfully as Michelle strokes Carla's hair trying to get her to relax as Florence finally latches on
"Ok now breath" Michelle smiles as Carla breaths in and out slowly "You see look how happy she is"
"Yeah" Carla replies quietly glancing down to the baby laying peacefully in her arms feeling absolutely nothing for it
"She's a good little feeder, better than Ava was" Michelle smiles kissing the side of Carla's head as she bites her lip as Isobel starts to cry
"I can change her if she needs changing?" Michelle offers as Carla shakes her head adamant that she would change Isobel
"No I'll do it" Carla smiles stopping Florence from feeding as she cries, Carla going to take Isobel into the nursery to change her Michelle confused why she would just stop feeding Florence, picking Florence up and holding her close, her heart breaking for the baby in her arms
"Hey you're ok sweetie" Michelle whispers into Florence's head as she cries "Alright I'll go downstairs and get you a bottle yeah?" she smiles putting Ava in the sling she had attached to her, carrying Florence in her arms and taking her downstairs to be fed
"Michelle, everything ok?" Peter questions as she shakes her head getting the tub of formula and preparing a bottle for Florence
"Umm, she's being really weird Peter" Michelle states as Peter nods in agreement
"I don't know what to do, 'Chelle, I've tried everything, is she refusing to feed her?" Peter questions as Michelle shakes her head
"Not really, she's just prioritising Isobel over Flo for some reason, is she sleeping alright?" Michelle questions as Peter shakes his head
"I don't know she was up at 3am this morning staring out of the window in the nursery, Isobel resting on her chest as she rocked in the rocking chair"
"Oh darlin, you're really hungry aren't you?" Michelle smiles as Florence feeds off the bottle her eyes closing in appreciation
"Do you want me to take Ava?" Peter offers as Michelle nods, Peter taking Ava off her, Ava smiling widely at Peter
"Hey, she's smiling" Peter grins pulling faces at Ava
"Yeah, she's happy, Carla noticed as well" Michelle grins as Florence finishes her whole bottle, Michelle grabbing a burping cloth which was laying around to burp Florence
"I might ring someone I don't know, we couldn't get through to Scott when we needed him last time…do I ring the doctors, she's not going to want to go…" Peter starts as Michelle sighs, Florence sleeping against her chest peacefully
"Ok, look the worst thing we can do is jump to conclusions she may just be struggling to bond-"
"It's not that, she looks after Flo, feeds her when Isobel doesn't need her attention, reluctantly if so" Peter states as Michelle sighs Florence's eyes open, instantly reminding Peter
"She said something weird as well…"
"Ok now you're worrying me"
"I suggested for her to go to the doctors with me just to check her over and the babies…Isobel started crying so she picked her up and Isobel's eyes opened, Carla said that they looked like Eloise's…"
"I remember though from the pictures, didn't Eloise have a face mask on?" Michelle frowns in confusion as Peter sighs and nods, tickling Ava's tummy as she squeals
"She did and when we said goodbye, you know, her eyes were closed" Peter replies tearfully the loss of Eloise prominent in his mind
"Oh Peter, you don't think she's getting ill again?" Michelle questions as Peter shrugs, not really wanting to think about it
"I don't know, I hope not because I can't look after 3 under 5, I need her to be healthy and well 'Chelle" Peter admits as Michelle goes to swap Florence for Ava knowing Peter may need to hold his daughter to give him some comfort
"Hey, we'll get her through this, whatever it is, we've done it many times before, we'll do it again ok?"
"Thank you" Peter replies gratefully as Michelle smiles kissing Ava's head
Carla was sitting at the top of the stairs, tears streaming down her face as she cradled Isobel in her arms, hearing the conversation which had just happened in the kitchen, Peter starting to doubt her should ring alarm bells in her mind but nothing, she felt nothing, she felt completely numb that the people closest to her would doubt her abilities to look after a baby which felt so foreign to her, they should understand right? That baby wasn't hers, why should she look after it? She wanted to love it but she couldn't she was really starting to hate it and the fact that she had to look after something that wasn't Isobel it just added fuel to the fire. In return she had something so precious, in the form of Isobel, cradled in her arms, against her chest, Carla's mind filled with speculation, too much speculation, too much to deal with at this moment, especially if Peter was trying to palm her off back into hospital, she didn't need to be looked after, she had to look after Isobel, Eloise sent her for a reason, for Carla to look after her, the other baby didn't matter anymore, Isobel needed her attention, no one else, that's the way it should be… right?