Landing on the back of a giant eagle in flight is not quite as soft as might be assumed, although it isn't something that Billana has ever put any serious consideration into. The air is cool, and she burrows into the eagles feathers as much as she can. Next to her Kili groans as he shifts so that he can look for any signs of his uncle or brother, the way he turns his head is almost frantic and it is a long moment until he seems to realise he can use his gift to far-speak Fili at least. Billana curls into herself as much as possible and isn't able to suppress a yelp when her leg pulls and she feels the warmth of fresh blood against her cool skin.

"Billana!" Kili turns to her and she shrinks into herself further, expecting anger and recriminations.

Fili was going to send her away, she thinks, he was going to get Kili to make sure that she was gone. It hurts to think that he had finally realised how little use she really is to them, to think that he would decide to get rid of her in what might have been the last moments of their lives, and she doesn't want to hear Kili's thoughts on the matter. She doesn't want to hear him berate her for throwing herself into danger, for being useless, for becoming a distraction.

"I need to see your leg," Kili tells her, his hand a warmth on her shoulder that she cannot help leaning in to. "I'm not as good at healing as Fili, but I know enough. Let me see?" She shifts as much as she dares and hears him hiss at the sight of the gash in her leg. There is a moment of warmth and the pain eases, though it does not fade entirely. "Fili can do a better job when we land," he tells her, then he seems to remember how high they are and her state of undress. "Mahal, Billana, you must be frozen," he moves again, opening his coat as wide as he can and pulling her to him, not an easy task when perched on the back of an eagle in flight.

-If you two could sit still, it would be greatly appreciated- the eagle tells her.

"Sorry," she whispers, pressed with her chest against Kili's, her head under his chin and his coat wrapped tightly around them both.

"You don't have anything to apologise for," Kili says, obviously not having heard the eagle. She doesn't correct him. "You saved my uncle, you used the last of your magic to do what none of the rest of us could. Why are you sorry?" To her horror she feels her eyes fill with tears at the warmth in his voice and she sniffles, trying to blink them away. "What's wrong?" He asks in alarm, she evidently hasn't been as discrete as she had thought.

"Fili was going to send me away," she breathes.

"Of course he was," Kili replies. "I was going to ask you to go as well." Her blood seems to freeze and she tenses.

"I know I was useless," she whispers, "but-"

"'Useless'?" Kili demands. "What makes you think he said it because he thought you were useless? That was the last reason we could possibly have had. He told you to go because he wanted to make sure you would be safe." His arms tighten when she shakes her head.

"People don't send me away to keep me safe," she tells him in a whisper. "I'm just Belladonna Took's bastard daughter. They keep me around for as long as I'm of use or worth to them."

"Look at me," he orders softly and when she doesn't move his arms vanish from around her, cold air hits her back as he pulls away so that he can take her face in his hands and force her to look at him. "Those others were blind fools. You are worth a thousand of them. More. You are not a thing, Billana, you not just Belladonna Took's daughter. You are incredible and I thank Mahal that you are my friend. I cannot promise that we will never ask you to leave us again, but if we do I swear it will be because we want to keep you from harm. It will always be so that we can keep you safe."

"Kili," she breathes, not quite sure that she can believe his words with all the memories of Camellia and her Baggins family telling her the opposite.

"I watched you fall, Billana," he says. "We both did. Twice now we've had to face the possibility that this quest, for a mountain none of us have ever seen and that has no significance to any hobbit, may have cost your life. I promised you a home with us, kundith," he reminds her, his eyes intense even in the moonlight and his thumbs are warm as the brush away tears that have begun to fall. "How can we give you a home if you're dead?"

"What kind of home would it be without the two of you?" She counters. "You're my dearest friends, it wouldn't be anything if you weren't there." He sighs and presses their foreheads together, a gesture that she has seen many members of the Company exchange. She can feel the warmth of his breath ghosting across her lips and it seems as though the rest of the world has fallen away. "Don't send me away again," she pleads. "I couldn't bear it. You told Fili you would give me the choice of staying or going, don't take that away from me." So few have ever thought to allow her that.

"I can't make promises for Fili," Kili warns, "in case you didn't notice he tried to get me to leave as well. If you need it, however, I swear that I will always, always, give you the choice."

His hands are still on her cheeks and she reaches up to wrap her own around them. He flinches at the chill of them and then moves so that she is resting against him once more. He bundles her back up in his coat without a word, his arms a welcome strength around her, and she drifts in and out of an exhausted doze as they fly through the remainder of the night and into the sunrise. Kili holds her tightly as she rests, warming and reassuring her even though she doubts he realises that he is doing it.

The difficulty comes when the eagles drop them off. The bird that Billana and Kili have been riding is the last to arrive. She is comfortable wrapped up under Kili's coat, safe and protected, but with the moment to leave this safe little bubble comes the realisation that she is naked beneath it. He seems to realise her problem, however, and likely because he has been through the same thing more than once.

"I'll go first," he tells her, "and I'll catch you."

She agrees quietly, though she isn't sure there are any other options available to them, and waits for Kili to call up to her as she worries at a finger nail between her teeth. Finally, though really it can only have been seconds, he tells her he is ready for her and she slides nervously down. Billana thanks the large bird gratefully as Kili wraps her back in his coat. Everyone else is clustered around Thorin's prone form as Gandalf mutters over him and she can feel from the tension in Kili that he must want to go to his uncle's side. Still, he lingers with her, obviously considering the necessity of finding an opportunity for her to dress and not having had time to remove his coat as the eagle's impatience to leave had been obvious even to him.

"I'll take her, lad," she hears Balin say. "Give me her pack and go see to Thorin."

His tone is colder than she has ever heard and she looks to see that he has removed his heavy red robe, holding it out to her and she steps almost regretfully away from her friend. Balin wraps her up quickly, giving Kili a pointed look until the younger dwarf hands over her belongings. It's strange to see Balin in only a light shirt and his heavy dwarven trousers, he seems somehow smaller for it, more vulnerable. Kili gives her a reassuring smile and begins to follow his elder's instructions before pausing.

"I'll send Fili to take a look at your leg," he says to her.

"I'm sure Oin will be able to handle it," Balin responds.

"I already started the healing," Kili objects. "Oin will know the signs. If Thorin still wants my gift a secret from the rest-"

"Very well," Balin interrupts with a huff. "Is that alright with you?" He asks her. She blinks.

"Fili's healed me before," she mutters, "I would be more at ease with him." Balin nods, seeming not to notice the almost relieved look that Kili gives her.

Billana still isn't entirely sure that she can believe Kili's assurances that Fili was only trying to keep her safe. She wants to and yet, since her mother's death, that has not been her experience of the world. The only way to know would be to see Fili for herself. Balin seems to notice the fact that her thoughts are racing because he simply presses the pack into her hands with a kind smile and gently tells her to get dressed. She thanks him and begins to move away, only to find herself suddenly wrapped in a gentle embrace.

"Thank you, Billana," Balin breathes, his voice almost trembling with gratitude. She sinks against him, content to be held as her mind quiets. Balin, at least, has given her no reason to question his regard.

Fiii's concerned expression, when he comes to them a little while later, goes a long way towards assuring her that Kili had the right of things. Especially when Fili pulls her into a fierce embrace of his own as soon as he is finished checking her leg. He doesn't speak, just wraps his arms tightly around her. This is not the hold of someone who is pleased because she can still be useful. Even her limited experience of such reactions tells Billana that this is the pure relief of a friend.

Who is to know, then, if she sheds a few relieved tears of her own into the fur collar of his coat?

A.N: Butchered Khuzdul (via dwarrowscholar):

Kundith: little wolf/young wolf

My mummy fu is still going strong, although the rough draft of the chapter was written between bouts of child vomit (think The Exorcist and you won't go far wrong) and then typed up while waiting for meringues to cool and biscuits to bake and other food to cook. On the plus side, got comfy new pillows out of the showers of child vomit. Even the Manbeast draws the line at pillows that still smell of vomit after two washes. See you all after Christmas.

Nadelik Lowen!