And, finally, a real whole new chapter. I'm really excited and hope you are as well. Love you all!

Enjoy!

Wintersend part 22

Fenris found Cullen in the middle of the courtyard of Adamant Fortress, supervising the army's well-oiled retreat. The elf found out soon enough that it was quite impossible to reach the Commander by calling out his name; the noise was deafening and no one would have heard him even bellowing out loud. Captains were forming battalions by shouting at the top of their lungs, sergeants were manoeuvring their men into formation, also by shouting, corporals were shouting at their subordinates simply because they could, and quartermasters were trying to make inventories of all the gear and equipment which went with, again, scores of shouting. Worse even: frustrated shouting because of the amount of things being lost, or, in quartermasters' vocabulary: being nicked. In short: there was a lot of ear-splitting yelling involved.

In the midst of all the mayhem Fenris tapped Cullen gently on the arm, for, unsurprisingly, the man didn't hear him addressing him in the civilised way. He wasn't planning on a long story because beating about the bush wasn't his style. He knew there were people aplenty who would flee from his straightforward approach, but he was quite certain Cullen Rutherford wasn't one of them. He shouted in his ear, 'Commander? We have to talk.'

Cullen swirled on his heels to come face to face with the handsome unfathomable Tevinter elf and felt his guts clench. He knew exactly what this was about and didn't like it one bit. But, as Fenris already had anticipated, he gave in. The situation with Evelyn was eating at him, and perhaps together with the elf he could find a solution. (Inwardly he crunched at the expression "situation". He could Varric hear laughing in his imagination. Situation, Cullen? What we have with the Orlesian Empire is a situation! What you have is a downright row, or shouting match. You know, like ordinary people.)

'Alright,' he mouthed, 'but not here.' He was not looking forward to the confrontation and realised very well he could have bluntly refused. But, on the other hand, he regarded it as some kind of atonement. And, again, maybe there would be a solution. Together they climbed the stairs to the battlements, or what was left of them. There they found the peace and silence, and the total absence of unauthorised witnesses, Cullen wanted for this conversation.

'You don't have to do this,' he started against better judgement, for he could predict the elf's reaction. Besides that, deep down he did want Fenris to do this. He walked over to the parapet and leaned his hands on the masonry, absentmindedly staring at the sappers who, far down below in the scorching sand, were still meticulously dismantling their costly siege equipment.

He felt embarrassed that Fenris, who had had so much to deal with himself already, should feel concerned with his quandary. He clearly remembered how the elf had broken down in the Fade under the heavy weight of his – undoubtedly warped – memories. And, damn, he himself knew about warped memories by now. He came about them at approximately the same moment. And he remembered too how the elf, not long before that, heroically had held his posture while his woman had disappeared and he was sick with worries and desperately tried to find out where she was and what had happened to her. Without smashing the place to bits or making a big scene, which was more than admirable.

'Yes I do,' Fenris simply waylaid him, as Cullen had expected. The elf joined him at the disintegrating parapet and let his eyes wander over the barren land that laid beyond. 'Don't get me wrong, Cullen. I'm not here to give you a dressing-down, nor to tell you you're right. But you two fighting makes everyone nervous and since these are already anxious times, we don't want more stress. We need all out combined strength to beat Corypheus' devastating campaign. Correct me if I'm wrong.'

Cullen hung his head and stared at his gloved fingers. It wasn't exactly what he had expected Fenris would say, but now he didn't know why he had thought that. The simple, neutral motivation could have come from his own mouth. For some reason that stung. 'You're not wrong,' he mumbled miserably.

'So,' Fenris went on at a levelly tone that betrayed nothing of his feelings, 'on behalf of all of us I beseech you to kiss and make up.'

That came as such an unexpected surprise that Cullen couldn't supress a laugh; the words almost sounded ridiculous, coming from Fenris. He ventured a look at the elf who didn't twitch a muscle.

Instead he continued, 'I don't want to judge and I certainly don't want to condemn either of you, but this can't go on. I know how it feels to be angry with the one you love.' He smiled, a mix between amusement and .melancholy. 'Mostly it's very frustrating and you merely want to wring her neck till she sees sense.' The smile faded. 'But, unlike Marian and me, I fear you don't have the luxury to show it. Times are too dire. You two are too important to fall apart. You carry the Inquisition. All eyes are fixed on you.'

With a near unnoticeable move he changed the pose of his head; in the same movement a sunbeam caught a strand of silvery white hear and it's light reflected on it. For a moment Cullen got distracted, till the elf's voice dragged him back. 'For the sake of all that's holy, please take you responsibility.'

That hurt, and with reason. 'We haven't been exactly behaving as a shining example,' Cullen admitted willingly, feeling as a green Templar recruit who received a well-deserved tap over the fingers, 'but, well, you know… erm …'

'You're only human,' Fenris concluded mildly. With a sudden impish twinkle that escaped Cullen completely (and he would have been put off balance utterly should he have noticed it) the elf added, 'Perhaps time to remedy that.'

Cullen raised one brow. Some defiance was stirring unexpectedly. 'You mean to say elves would have acted totally differently?'

'Beyond doubt. And probably worse,' Fenris said straight-faced, smothering the defiance in the bud, 'but that's not the point. The point is that people look up at you two and they long for guidance, guidance you'll have to provide, whether you like it or not. I'm sure you understand. After all,' and here one corner of his mouth lifted in a crooked smile, 'personal, apparently, isn't the same as important.'

Cullen stared hard at him. The elf looked unperturbed back. 'I think you're trying to use my own words against me,' the Commander said slowly.

'Perhaps,' Fenris drawled.

'To let me see how that feels.'

Fenris cocked his head just a little. 'Could be.'

Cullen groaned wholeheartedly because he had to confess the elf had successfully brought the message home. But before he could collect himself, there sounded a faint swish of cloth and they both turned sharply at the arrival of a third party. They but just restrained from drawing their swords, for they were still on edge due to all the occurrences, before they recognized the person.

Evelyn held her step and looked a bit insecure from one to the other. She simply could feel the tension that radiated from the men gazing anxiously at her. Her right hand involuntarily came up as in an pacifying gesture. It made an elegant twirl in the air before it fell lamely back against her thigh. Along the search for Cullen she had repeated in her head all the words she wanted to say to him, but now she saw him standing next to Fenris at the parapet, looking so forlorn, they all escaped her.

Fenris smiled thinly. 'I'll take my leave now. Talk and, perhaps more important, listen. Please don't shout; we have enough of that ruckus down in the courtyard already. We don't need more.'

With that he took his leave down the stairs and left Cullen and Evelyn alone.

What ensued was a long uncomfortable silence. Neither knew what to say to break the strain.

'I'm not a saint, Cullen,' Evelyn sighed when she couldn't take it any longer.

She had stood fidgeting with her fingers; she had clenched and unclenched her hands numerous times, waited for him to start the awkward altercation but had come to the conclusion that he felt even more uneasy with the situation than she did. Of course he was waiting for her to open the negotiations, Fenris more or less had warned her with his farewell words. She had to speak first. And listen, that too. Don't forget to listen. To her relief Cullen responded right away.

'Believe me, I've noticed. I don't think that "jumping into bed with the Commander of your Armies" qualifies for sainthood.' Cullen blushed profoundly immediately after these uncharacteristically flippant words. 'I'm, er, I'm sorry. That came out more vulgar than I intended.' He coloured some more. 'I mean, er, I didn't mean it to sound vulgar in the first place.'

Evelyn struggled to look stern but failed completely at the sight of her stuttering and flushing lover. She couldn't supress a short chortle. 'I won't take any offence, don't fret.'

She composed herself and her face clouded over again. 'No, Cullen. What I tried to imply is that that dreadful "Herald of Andraste-business" is getting on my nerves frequently.' She smiled faintly. 'And jumping into bed with the Commander of my Armies is a great way to escape the tension for a short while and a wonderful therapy against grumpiness to boot.' She worried her lip. 'You were the only one with whom I could forget about the whole mess now and again.'

Cullen grimaced painfully, understanding. 'And then I went and dragged you back into that mess by pointing out your Inquisitor duties.' He felt wretched. 'As if you didn't know them well enough by yourself.'

It didn't get any better when Evelyn asked brusquely, 'Were you serious when you said that personal wasn't the same as important?'

He groaned inwardly and absentmindedly rubbed the back of his neck. 'Yes, but possibly not in the way you interpreted those words.' He exhaled heavily. 'It is a lesson that almost literally got beaten into me during my Templar training. I suppose it got the better of me at that moment in the Fade; the words just slipped out. I'm really sorry.'

Evelyn almost grunted out loud. Templar training. Damn it. I should have thought about that. Typical a phrase those bastards would come up with. She felt the residue of her anger seep away and instead remorse reared up.

'I can understand that, don't be sorry. It's not necessary, at least for that part it isn't.'

Cullen looked alarmed at her. 'Evelyn, you must believe me when I tell you that you are the most important thing in the world to me. I can't picture my life without you.'

'And yet you were willing to condemn me to a life without you. Have you any idea how that made me feel?' snapped Evelyn. She simply couldn't help it, even though she hated herself for being such a twat, especially while witnessing that lost expression in Cullen's eyes.

Cullen bowed his head. 'Yes,' he whispered.

'And then you had to rub it in that I'm the one around with the green spot on her hand, and that that was the reason you wanted me to survive,' Evelyn pressed on remorselessly, 'not because you love me.' She almost succeeded in getting angry again but then gave herself a resolute whack around the ears. Cullen, definitely, did not deserve this.

'That was not my intent,' Cullen said softly. 'I was desperate. I wanted you to survive.' He made a hesitant step towards her rigid bearing, trying to breatk the wall.

And then. out of the sudden a small flicker of annoyance flared up and he folded his arms. 'I love you and I don't want to lose you. Can you really not understand that? It was a stressful situation, back there in the Fade, for all of us. I'm sorry my words did not come out in the way you wished; like everything else they got bent and perverted. You must know that because you know me better than anyone else. So I do hope I don't have to weigh every word, lest you get angry with me.'

Evelyn's mouth opened and closed a few times in surprise without her making a sound. She knew he could be firm and resolute, she just had not been at the recipient end as yet. It was a real eye-opener. Suddenly she felt very ashamed and three inches high. She swallowed back her pride and stretched out her hand to meet his eagerly one. 'I, I've been behaving as an awfully spoiled little tit,' she said hoarsely.

Cullen gave her a boyish grin. 'I wouldn't have said but, yes. A bit.'

Evelyn smiled contritely. 'I think more than a bit. I really should realise that we're trying to save Thedas, and that our love affair is insignificant in comparison.'

Cullen shivered. Without a second thought he pulled her close. She was more than willing to comply.

'No,' he breathed. 'That's not true. Because, I know for sure, the vigour of our love-affair will push us to great deeds. And, who knows, will push others to great deeds as well.'

Evelyn chuckled against his chest, touched by his romantic confidence. 'At any rate we managed to push a number of people to a high level of worrying. But perhaps that will give them wings as well.'

Eagerly Cullen inhaled her scent and revelled in it. 'We're good?' he asked to absolutely be on the safe side.

She pulled her fingers through his thick, curly hair. 'Yes, Cullen, we're good.' She heaved her face to smile at him and met his eyes. She was struck by what she found.

'I love you so much, Evelyn Trevelyan. Don't ever forget that.'

She answered with kissing him with everything she could throw in it.

Hawke had just won the Battle of the Bulging Backpack when Varric entered the room in that obscure corner of Adamant Fortress. She sat on the bed, panting triumphantly and looking self-satisfied at the subdued luggage. 'You knew I would win in the end, you stubborn piece of a bag, why put up a fight?'

'Probably because it doesn't fancy being dragged through the most dreary landscape Thedas has to offer,' Varric suggested, 'with fitting unbearable climate, I might add. Did you really have to hide all the way up here? I needed a map to find you! And now I need a mug of ale after climbing all those stairs, but I suppose you don't have some lying about.' He looked around expectantly.

'As a matter of fact, we do,' Hawke said, indicating a small barrel sitting in a dark corner, 'so, knock yourself out.'

'I came to warn you,' Varric said while he provided himself with a generous amount of ale, using the largest tankard he could find.

Hawke frowned. 'Against what?'

'We're marching within the hour. I was afraid the message wouldn't reach this backwater part of the fortress, so I decided to deliver it myself. Lest you would be here still the day after tomorrow, wondering whether you were the last people on earth.' He looked around. 'Where is your elf, by the way?'

'Obviously you managed the impossible.' Hawke beamed broadly. 'But then again, you always do. Fenris is playing the peace-maker and since I haven't heard of a gruesome murder yet and he hasn't turned up with a bloodied face, I presume he is doing pretty well.'

Varric looked aghast. 'What have you done to him?!' he cried out exasperated. 'First he doesn't scold you for the cowardly runaway you are, further he bumps into Dorian – literally – and doesn't feel the urge to kill him, then he takes your unexplainably disappearance with marvellous grace, with which I mean Skyhold and wide surroundings still exist, next he takes his rival, not to say mortal enemy, under his loving wings, and now you're telling me he's sticking his nose in delicate matters as the dented love-affair between the Inquisitor, a lady not renowned for her delicate diplomacy, and stick-in-the-mud Curly who would kick him sooner back to the Fade than he'd let him interfere with his business, and succeeding?' He took a gulp of air.

'Well, yes,' Marian said, unruffled. 'People change, you know. Or, perhaps better, they balance. It has been years since you've last seen Fenris. Of course he's different, after all the events. I am a different person as well. As are you.'

Varric let out a big sigh. 'Things will never be the same.'

'No,' Marian said determinedly, 'but we already knew that. There's a large eerily green breach in the sky and there was a corpse on the floor of the fortress in the Vimmark Mountains that, as it turns out, wasn't a corpse at all. How do you figure that. It all connects, some way or another. Surprise surprise.'

'I always thought there was something smelly about Larius,' Varric volunteered.

He thought that Marian Hawke was moving from depressingly gloomy rapidly into disturbingly insane but he was wise enough to keep his mouth shut. His worries grew. What was new. He hated the rhyme, but there it was; he couldn't ignore it.

'Yes,' Marian commented smugly, blissfully ignorant about his concerns, 'considering he was some kind of walking dead, I thought that went without saying.' She giggled. Creepily so, at least to Varric's opinion.

The dwarf rolled his eyes, ostentatiously trying not to show his concern, and turned to the other, till now silent, person on the premises. 'And how is our lovely-boy doing, under the circumstances. Do tell Uncle Varric.'

'Ugh,' was the well-deserved comment from Anders. 'Please don't do that.'

Abruptly Varric plopped down on the bed. He took a large quaff. 'My apologies,' he said, 'in my opinion things are swiftly gurgling down the drain but I'm trying to keep up appearances.' He grimaced. 'Our Champion is right; we all changed. For example, not a year before I'd be rather found dead than support the Inquisition but here I am…' His voice trailed off. Then he looked up and smiled apologetically, 'But I really want to know how you're faring, Blondy. Can't be easy, hiding out here, knowing the world is after your blood.'

Before any of them could respond Fenris stepped into the room.

Anders made a lame try at humour. He pointed at the elf. 'There's my jailor. Ask him.'

Fenris let his gaze swivel between the dwarf and the mage. Of course he had heard Ander's rather acidly remark but he decided not to react. Nor did he want to respond to Varric's uncanny angsty expression. He realised they were all on edge. He saw them staring at him and gave them a bright smile back. They stared at him unbelievingly.

Without any comment he turned to Marian. 'I take it you know the army is ready to move?'

'And I take it you managed to douse the fire?'

Fenris shrugged nonchalantly.

With her heart doing a happy flip Marian noticed the bright light in his eyes. He was too modest to claim the victory but she knew, seeing the hidden smile in his face, things were back to normal. That is, as normal as they could get.

What she hadn't expected that next he moved over and took her into a firm embrace. 'Don't ever leave me again, my love.'

She let the thrill of his warm embrace come over her. 'I promise I will always stay with you from now on.'

She simply could feel Varric and Anders drill holes in the back of her head and she gave them both the middle finger.

Fenris assisted Hawke with dismounting her mare and caught her when she staggered, preventing her from falling flat on her face.

She felt so tired, had been tire for ages. She presumed everything that had happened played their significant part. Corypheus alone, his existence alone would have brought better persons down. She frowned despondently. And then tried to straighten her shoulders. She must be strong, she should be there for the Inquisitor, help her. But she felt so frail; it frustrated her enormously.

They had been on the move since the fall of the evening. Cullen had wanted to evade the hot hours but they were moving into the icy ones by now. Deserts could be so tricky. It was high time they made camp.

Normally Hawke would have slapped Fenris's hand away, in a rather childish way, she was the first to admit, but now she felt desperately tired and was more than grateful for his assistance.

Without any opposition to speak of, she let him lead her into a tent and force her gently down onto a bed.

She got aware of him looking intensely at her. She stared back until she realised she had no intention of winning this staring match. She didn't even know they were having a staring match to begin with. And, really, she didn't want any.

From the corner of her eye she saw Anders trying to make his own little private space in the tent. For some reason it moved her tremendously.

And then Fenris' sudden question caught her completely off hand.

'When were you planning to tell me?'

Hawke gazed at him, totally confused. She blinked 'Tell you what?

Fenris held his head a little askew and cocked his eyebrows at her. 'Don't tell me you don't know.'

She stared back numbly. 'I'm sorry. Are we having an argument? Are you angry with me?' She sounded partly annoyed and partly despondent. 'I'm not sure I can cope with this. Not now.' She tried not to break down in tears.

Fenris reached out to her and automatically she caught his hands. She stared at him, captivated and perplexed, not knowing what to expect. The situation was so similar to the one she didn't want to remember, she almost panicked.

He's going to leave me…

She stared at him, eyes wide.

'Two mages,' Fenris started with a brittle smile, no exactly knowing what he was going to bring about but too determined to keep his mouth shut. 'I travel with two mages and none of them is apparently bright enough.'

He granted Marian the space and time to respond. As he had anticipated, she heaved her head and said, irritably, 'Take care whom you insult.'

What he didn't know was that her heart almost gave way. She just stood staring ar him, not knowing what he was trying to make clear, fearing the worst.

He gave her hands a gentle squish. 'I'm not insulting you. I'm not insulting anyone. I'm just pointing out that you, and Anders, for that matter, I mean, as your fellow mages…'

He groaned wholeheartedly

And then blurted out, 'You, the both of you, may have overlooked something quite important … Venhedis! Are you really that ignorant?!' And then he laughed.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her tenderly.

'My love, my Marian, you're pregnant.'

The world fell out from under her feet.

I though the idea of Fenris finding out about the pregnancy rather funny. I supposed he had witnessed quite a lot during his stay at Danarius' home, while Hawke, on the other hand, only had the twins as reference. So, none to speak of,

Thanks for reading!