Catherine closed her eyes at those words, she felt happy, and angry, and confused, regretful. Sara seemed to be doing so well, and Catherine felt horrible. She had taken advantage of a situation, and had now left Sara feeling even more confused than ever.

Sara didn't seem to notice the stiffness that had come over Catherine, she just carried on talking.

'I know I might be hard to be with right now, but I love you Catherine…' Sara waited, sitting up slightly in the bed, only now pausing.

'No… No you don't Sara…' Catherine said, her back still to the woman

'Yes I do…I'd be dead if it wasn't for you….' Sara cried out, making Catherine spin around in anger

'Don't, Don't you dare! You don't love me Sara, you don't know me, you just love the idea of me, you're latching on to something, you're using me as your next vice, your next obsession and addiction, now that you can't rely on Alcohol, you're pinning everything on me, and that's not fair or healthy Sara, you don't love me, ok, you're sick Sara, don't you get that? I'm just a replacement!' Catherine tried to keep calm, but she couldn't. When she had first entered the room, she was overwhelmed with how well Sara looked, and how much better her attitude had seemed, the worries of coming back after those days apart had disappeared, and now she knew why. She felt awful for it, she had wanted to help Sara, perhaps one day something could have developed between them, but she had never wanted, or realised, that Sara may have latched on to her like that. That a new obsession could start so quickly.

Sara just sat there, tears streaming down her face, she watched Catherine for a moment, confused and hurt 'Get out!' she spat out, voice low and dripping with anger, a quick turnaround from her attitude moments ago 'Get out!' she repeated when Catherine had yet to move.

Catherine took a moment to take in the woman before her, it would be so easy to leave, to let Sara deal with this by herself. But she couldn't, wouldn't, leave her, not now, not like this.

'No Sara… '

Sara grabbed the jug of water off the table and threw it towards Catherine, who barely dodged it 'I SAID GET OUT!' Sara screamed, tears falling even faster from her eyes, her breathing becoming erratic, another panic attack on the verge of breaking out.

Catherine boldly stepped towards Sara, who kept screaming, and pulled her into her arms. Sara struggled against her, but Catherine's grip was tight 'It's ok Sara… it's ok….I've got you…..'

Having heard the commotion outside, a nurse came rushing in 'What happened… is she ok?' the nurse, one Catherine hadn't seen before, looked at the room, the jug of water on the floor, and Sara's heavy breathing

'She's upset… angry… nothing I can't handle…'

'Do you want me to sedate her?' the nurse asked, a little unsure what to do, what was normal with this patient.

'No… No, that's the last thing she needs right now, it's happened far too much…'

'Ok…' the nurse said still a little unsure, she moved to clean up the mess from the water.

Catherine continued to hold Sara closely, rocking her gently, it took nearly 10 minutes for Sara to calm down.

'Feeling better?' Catherine whispered, kissing the top of Sara's head lightly. Sara just shrugged in her arms, not trusting herself to speak.

'Tired?' Catherine asked, Sara nodded, and whispered out a 'yes'

'Want me to stay?' Catherine asked, her hand running through Sara's hair, again Sara just nodded.

'Want to use the bathroom first, freshen up?' her fingers still running through Sara's hair.

'I stink don't I?' Sara whispered, aware of the fact she couldn't really remember when she had last washed.

'A little' Catherine giggled, pulling Sara in closer.

'I'm sorry…' Sara whispered, pushing away slightly

'It's ok, it's been a tough week… and, I've smelt worse' Catherine said winking, trying to lighten the mood a little. Sara smiled weakly.

'I'm sorry too' Catherine said, moving her hand down Sara's arms. 'Think you can manage a shower by yourself?'

Sara nodded, smiling a little more 'I'm a recovering alcoholic with many issues, but I'm not 4… I can manage…' She stood from the bed, and looked around

'What are you looking for Sweetie?' Catherine asked

'Clothes… towels…' Sara said still looking around

'Oh… I don't know… let me call a nurse…I didn't think to bring anything like that… you may just end up in clean hospital scrubs, but I can bring you some clothes later?'

Sara looked up at her 'You'll come back? After…' Sara gestured between them

'Yes, of course I'll come back, I just won't leave it so long… I want to help Sara, I really do…we need to talk about things, but first, you need to shower, and then eat, rest a little… what time is the counsellor coming?'

Sara looked at the clock, she had forgotten all about it 'Oh… about 5 I think… other than medicine, timing is quiet flexible here…'

Catherine just nodded in understanding 'I'll get the nurse…'

Xxx

It was just gone 4, and Sara was just waking from a nap, she had showered, but found she had no appetite, not even for peanut butter. Catherine was curled in the chair, next to the bed, reading a magazine. 'Hey sleepy head…' she placed the magazine down, and stood up, and without thinking, brushed her lips over Sara's. It didn't last long, it was gentle, it was confusing.

'Hey…' Sara whispered reaching for Catherine's hand.

'Sleep ok?'

'I guess…' Sara fiddled with the blankets with her other hand 'I'm sorry…' she whispered

'Shhh… it's ok, we don't need to talk about this now…'

'I want too…' Sara confessed, feeling both vulnerable and bold at the same time

'Don't you want to wait for the counsellor to get here? Save you from having to go through everything twice?' Catherine asked, her fingers playing with Sara's

'I guess…but there's some things I only want you to hear…'

'I know, but it can wait, it's going to be hard enough talking at 5… you need to save your energy Sara… and you need to eat.'

Sara just nodded reluctantly in acceptance 'Later?' she whispered, eyes closed

'I promise'

Sara nodded again

'Did you really bring apples?' she asked after a few more minutes of silence, a smile spreading on her face.

'Yes, I bought apples' Catherine beamed back, standing to grab them from her bag. Sara took one, and happily started eating it.

'Tell me about your weekend with Lindsey' she asked between bites.

Catherine's grin grew almost impossibly wide 'I took her out of school Friday and Monday, we went to the mall, and to the carnival, spent some time at home relaxing… gave each other mini makeovers…swam… you know I have a pool in the garden, right? We made cakes… god, they were horrible… we went to the park… I don't remember being so energetic when I was 10!'

Sara couldn't help but smile 'You mean you don't know how to bake?'

Catherine blushed a little 'I… I …'

'I'll teach you' Sara said, reaching out for Catherine's hand again

'What, you're telling me, Miss Take-out can cook?'

'Yep, my Mum taught me, we ran a Bed and Breakfast, I can cook for a crowd, speciality, baking, or pasta meals. Trouble is, my recipes fed about 10 people… I know I could scale it down, but… I dunno, just would seem weird doing so… I cook for a crowd, or not at all really…' Sara sighed a little, moving her hand out of Catherine's again, and bringing it to rest on her stomach 'Guess, if all goes well, soon I'll have another mouth to feed…'

A slightly awkward silence fall between them. Sara finished her apple, and placed the core on the table 'God, I could kill for some of Greg's coffee right about now…'

Catherine giggled a little at this 'You and me both!'

Another silence settled, although this one not as heavy 'You said earlier, you were allowed out soon, when?' Catherine asked, standing to stretch her legs a little more, pacing the room a little

'Oh… well, from a medical point of view, tomorrow… but, it depends what the counsellor says, and where exactly I'll go after this…'

Catherine just nodded, still pacing 'Stay with me…' she whispered, her back to Sara so she almost didn't hear her.

'What?' Sara choked out

'Stay with me' Catherine repeated a little more boldly, turning to face Sara now

'I don't think that's a good idea Cat… you were right… I'm projecting, and shifting my obsession elsewhere… '

'Where else will you go?'

Sara shrugged 'I don't know… I guess we just have to wait and see WHEN I can go first…'

'They'll let you out sooner, if they know you have somewhere safe to be, somewhere where you won't be alone'

Sara looked down at the covers once more, and pulled them higher up her chest, feeling exposed once more 'I'll check into a half-way house then….'

Catherine shook her head frantically 'You can't Sara… there not safe… not in your condition…'

'What's that supposed to mean?' Sara spat out

'You're pregnant Sara…a halfway house isn't better than here… come stay with me… or someone else from the team… hell Sara, even Ecklies is a better choice than a halfway house.'

'I can't…not yet… but, you're right… I'll see if I can stay with Jim… I know everyone pretty much knows everything, but… to be honest… he knew first, in a way… though I denied it… I think I owe it to him, to let him see that I can be better than this… perhaps…. Perhaps once I've seen the counsellor, and I have a better grip on myself, I could stay with you… but right now, I'm just so damn confused Cat… I don't know what we are to one another… what we can be to one another…' A tear escaped her eye, and she tried to get rid of it without Catherine noticing.

Catherine came and perched herself on the edge of the bed, and bought her hand up to the side of Sara's face 'What do you want us to be?' she whispered

'I don't know… if I wasn't pregnant…I'd want to be with you Cat… ' she confessed, eyes never leaving Catherine's

'I'd want that too' Catherine whispered, bringing her other hand up to Sara's head

'We can't…..' Sara whispered, eyes darting briefly to Catherine's lips before going back to looking in her eyes.

'We can be what we want to be, minute by minute… no pressure… no promises, just now…' Catherine said, her voice husky, edged with desire, before bringing her lips down to Sara's. Sara tried to resist, but found it nearly impossible, and she pulled Catherine in closer, opening her mouth to the embrace, running a tongue over Catherine's lips, she lay further back on the bed, pulling Catherine down with her, the kiss becoming frantic with need and want. Their bodies had missed each other the past few days, and although they knew there was still a lot to talk about, once again, this felt right, and they didn't want to stop.

Catherine shifted her weight so she was more comfortable, lying on top of Sara, their location forgotten, and moved her lips down and across Sara's jaw, to her neck, then her collar bone, whilst Sara's hand found their way under the blondes top, caressing the soft skin there. They had gotten so lost in each other's touch, that they didn't hear the knock at the door, or someone walk into the room.

Eventually the sound of someone clearing their throat, made the two woman pull apart

'Sara… it's 5 o'clock, time for your appointment' a tall, slim woman announced

'Doctor Hardinge…' Sara gasped, a little embarrassed at having been caught like they were, but also disappointed, that once more, someone, or something, had interrupted the pair having sex.