Wow, a lot of you are unhappy with Olivia, I can understand why. Well I won't make any promises that it won't get worse before things finally get better for our star-crossed lovers. Thank you all for patiently going along on this ride with me, and for leaving thoughtful and encouraging comments and PMs. And remember, things aren't always as they seem. Happy reading.
TBOT
Five and a half months later
Olivia's pregnancy was uneventful, although she was fed up with the physical restrictions created by her bulky shape in the later stages. Her plan was to work up until delivery, but her body was having none of it so she was placed on bed rest until she delivered. Putting her feet up and resting had proved challenging for someone who preferred to be active.
She spent that time in one of the guest rooms at the Lankford's home so they could keep a close eye on her and because Cecily was her labor coach. August and Hayes had gone to great lengths to keep her entertained while Cecily, her Aunt Carolyn and her parents had been wonderfully supportive.
Of course she appreciated all that they were doing but she was suffering from the last trimester, plus bed rest, plus annoying family blues. They were all taking turns at being the most irritating, and although she knew they meant well and were just trying to make her comfortable, she just wanted it all to be over.
Olivia got her wish on a rainy October night. With Cecily at her side, and after twelve hours of labor, she delivered a healthy six-pound, three-ounce baby girl. She held the screaming newborn in her arms, tears streaming down her face as she counted and recounted her baby's fingers and toes. From the instant she'd gazed into her baby's eyes, she'd fallen in love. She was beautiful. The pale, pink skin, light colored silky hair, doe shaped eyes, (it was too early to determine the color), and her father's whole face.
Fitz.
She wanted his presence, to be held in his arms, but he had made his choice and she had to live with it. She would've given everything she had to have him be part of her pregnancy. So many times she had held the phone in her hands and hadn't found the strength to call him and tell him. This wasn't how she thought it would be or how it was supposed to be.
He wasn't there to rub her feet when they swelled. He wasn't there to take her to work or bring her home when she was too tired to drive. He wasn't there to satisfy her weird and sometimes bizarre food cravings, he wasn't there when her sex drive kicked into high gear during her last trimester, and he wasn't there to see the excitement and happiness on her face the first time the baby moved. And she didn't know if she would ever be able to forgive him for any of that.
X
Months earlier…
Somehow Olivia made it back to LAX without losing herself completely. She had already changed her flight and with pre-check, was able to breeze through security. Numbly, she walked into the airport's Private Suite and found a seat away from everyone. She needed peace and quiet and a chance to process what she'd just witnessed. As she sat, a smiling waitress approached her.
"Hello, Miss Pope, I'm Amanda. Can I get you something to drink?"
Olivia looked up at the young woman. "Yes, I'd like the house red," she responded, and then she remembered. "Oh you know what, just bring me a glass of cranberry juice. Thank you."
Amanda turned to go and fill her drink order and Olivia stopped her. "Amanda, do you know if the lounge has any plain crackers on hand? Saltines would be preferable but whatever you have is fine."
Amanda's gave her a knowing smile. "I'll see what we have, Miss Pope," she said before walking away.
Olivia removed her phone from her tote and was not surprised to see a few missed calls and several text messages from Cecily. She was the only person who knew the real reason she'd flown to L.A. She also knew that her flight had arrived on time and that a car had picked her up.
Olivia hadn't spoken to anyone since leaving the house in the Hills and she certainly wasn't ready to discuss what happened. So she sent Cecily a generic text to let her know that she was okay. She wasn't about to tell her any details. Besides, what would she say?
She turned off her phone just as Amanda returned with a tray of goodies. There was a glass of cranberry juice and an extra bottle along with an assortment of crackers, hard cheese, sliced avocado, pineapple, strawberries, carrots, celery and peanut butter. Olivia had tears in her eyes at the young woman's thoughtfulness. She thanked her profusely as she eyed the assortment of snacks. Knowing that she needed to eat something, she prayed that the snacks stayed down.
"Okay little one, your mommy needs her energy and we both need to eat something. Please let me enjoy this."
By the time Olivia finished her snacks, she felt much better…physically. Emotionally, she was a wreck. She didn't have time to dwell as Amanda approached to remove the tray. She handed Olivia a small bag and said, "It's a long flight, Miss Pope." She quickly turned and walked away again to assist another traveler.
"Thank you," Olivia responded, unsure if the young woman had heard her.
Olivia stood and left the lounge, making a pit stop in the Ladies room on her way to her gate. She arrived just as First Class had begun to board. A flight attendant took her bag and stored it before asking if she wanted something to drink. She requested San Pelligrino water and the attendant quickly left to get her drink. She had booked a lie-flat bed and was grateful she would have the privacy and rest she needed.
Olivia looked around and her eyes fell on the bag that had been given to her by Amanda, sitting next to her purse. She looked inside and seeing the contents, she genuinely smiled. The young lady had packed cranberry juice, fruit, peanut butter and a box of crackers. Storing her goodies, Olivia sat back and pulled her cashmere throw around her shoulders. The attendant returned with her water and left Olivia alone with her thoughts.
When she'd left D.C. that morning, she wasn't sure what she would find or whether surprising Fitz was even a good idea. But what she had to say needed to be said in person. A phone call, letter, email, text wouldn't suffice. What she hadn't expected was the tall blonde who answered the door in nothing but a towel and wet hair. She was in the middle of or had just finished a shower.
A shiver ran up Olivia's spine as she stood frozen in place, taking in the implications of the woman's presence. She was so stunned that she was speechless for what felt like minutes, but in reality was a few seconds. When she finally came to her senses, she heard the woman's voice.
"May I help you?" she asked.
"I…I'm looking for Mr. Grant, this is his home correct?"
The blonde smiled at the beautiful stranger and responded, "Yes it is but he's still in the shower. Would you like to come in?" She stepped back.
"No," Olivia said a little too harshly.
The smile left the woman's face. "Well would you like to leave a message? I'll make sure he gets it."
Olivia backed away, shaking her head before turning and quickly walking to the waiting car. It was taking every piece of self-control to maintain her normal demeanor, but she was determined not to make a fool out of herself in front of this woman. She walked away with her head held high and her heart breaking. The driver opened the door for his passenger and closed it after she slid in. Then he climbed behind the wheel.
"Where to, Miss Pope?"
Shakily, Olivia responded, "LAX, please." She pulled out her phone and changed her reservation and never looked back. If she had, she would have seen Ford Grant, also in nothing but a towel, sauntering up and hugging the blonde from behind. They stood in the doorway watching as the car made its way down the driveway.
"Who was that, Lizzie?" he asked as he turned her around to face him.
"A woman. A beautiful black woman looking for 'Mr. Grant.'"
Olivia. She obviously didn't know that Fitz had left the country. Were they not speaking? Had she tried to contact him before showing up at his door? He knew that Fitz had a local SIM card in his current location, Singapore, and all calls to his U.S. phone were going to voicemail. She had come back to L.A. looking for his brother. Why, he wasn't sure. Well he certainly wasn't going to let him know that she had come looking for him. Fitz was right where he needed him and he didn't need any distractions. He would keep this visit from Olivia to himself.
"Hey, where were you? Lizzie asked. "I asked you a question."
Ford didn't give her a chance to ask again before he kissed her and tugged at the towel she wore. When it fell to the floor, she pulled at his waist and the towel joined hers. She dropped to her knees, her question long forgotten.
The ride back to the airport felt like it would never end. Olivia sighed then groaned mournfully, drawing the driver's attention. She smiled weakly then nodded, letting him know that she was okay. The driver's gaze went back to the road.
It had all been too good to be true. Olivia couldn't help but think that she'd been naive to think that she and Fitz could have a happily after ever, that what they'd had had been more than a fling. True, she had set the terms but he'd said he wanted more. He lied. She had truly believed that the two of them could have a future together, make things work. But it wasn't to be.
Olivia stared out of the aircraft's window into the dark sky, trying not to think of what she'd witnessed earlier that day. She couldn't allow herself the luxury of falling apart; she had to keep going. She had some big decisions to make. Fitz had never really promised her anything and he'd never asked her for anything that she wasn't willing to give him freely. He'd treated her better than the man who'd claimed he loved her enough to propose marriage, had ever treated her. He was sweet, kind, funny, generous, passionate and charming. She couldn't say that he'd taken anything away from her. He'd given her much more than she'd given him, more than she could ever give him.
Despite all of that, it still didn't change the fact that the man she loved and whose baby she now carried had moved on. And she was to blame. She'd pushed him away with her insecurities. Anais was right, she had made Fitz pay for the sins of her ex. She had allowed the actions of her ex to keep her from admitting her true feelings to Fitz. Was she wrong to protect her heart? He had never given her a reason not to trust him, yet she'd walked away from everything he'd offered. She had made the decision to not let any man get close enough to break her heart again, and look at what that had gotten her.
Olivia had chosen not to reach out to him for two months, but she felt he could've contacted her, even though she'd been the one who'd walked away. He had finally given up, got tired of waiting and found someone else, and it was all her fault.
X
Weeks later Olivia was still reeling from the shock of her trip to L.A. She was hurt and humiliated and it weighed her down like an anchor. She went through each day on autopilot, totally removed from the world around her. It seemed that she had crawled inside of herself to find a safe place but she refused to cry.
Cecily watched her as day after day Olivia seemed to slip further away. She refused to talk to Cecily about what had happened in L.A. but Cecily was sure that it must have been devastating to get Olivia in this state. She threw herself into her work which was her way of dealing with the things she didn't want to confront. She'd seen it before, after the broken engagement, but this time was different, destructive. She knew that if she didn't do something soon, Olivia was going to break. And that definitely wasn't good for her or the baby.
"Leave me alone, Cis," she pleaded. "I'm not in the mood for one of your lectures. She stood from the island in the kitchen and walked to the sitting area off the dining room. Cecily had invited her over for dinner, since her husband was out entertaining his visiting fraternity brothers.
"Well, that's just tough because you're going to get one anyway."
"Just leave me alone," she whispered.
"I won't because I'm your sister. I don't know what happened in L.A., and you won't talk to me, but Libby you can't let it destroy you. You're pregnant and you have to think about your health as well as the health of my niece or nephew."
"Don't you think I know that?" she turned to look at her sister.
She threw up her hands. "Just leave me alone, Cecily."
Cecily walked over and stood next to Olivia, sliding her arm around her waist. They stood that way for a minute before Cecily turned Olivia around to face her. She looked directly into her eyes.
"I'll help you, Lib," she said softly, "if you'll just let me. But, you have to tell me what happened."
The tears started slowly, flowing quietly and freely. Cecily held Olivia in her arms, whispering words of comfort.
And she cried.
She cried long. She cried hard. She cried ugly. She cried for the unbearable pain she'd denied feeling. She cried for the many times she'd lied to herself about how much she missed Fitz. She cried for all of the times she told herself that she no longer loved him. She cried for the loneliness she'd felt since she'd willingly walked away from him.
Olivia cried until there were no more tears left. When she finished, she walked over to the sofa and took a seat. Cecily left the room for less than a minute and returned with a box of tissue. She sat next to Olivia and waited as she dried her tears and blew her nose.
Olivia reached out and took her sister's hand. "I don't know how you put up with me," she sniffed.
"I'm your big sister. I'm supposed to put up with you. And I love you."
"I guess you want an explanation for my behavior," Olivia said.
"Only if you want to."
"I do."
Calmly, Olivia told Cecily about what she saw when she showed up at Fitz's house in L.A.
Cecily wanted to be upset with Fitz, but this just didn't fit what she knew about his character.
"Libby, have you tried to contact Fitz since then?"
"No!" She jumped up from the sofa. "What could he possibly say to me," she said, unable to hide the pain in her voice.
"Well, if nothing else, he deserves a chance to explain what you saw."
She turned away from the window and faced Cecily. "No, Cis. He's moved on and I need to as well."
"Can you blame him, Libby? You gave that man no indication that you were in love with him. You hadn't spoken to him once since you came home. What was he suppose to do? To think?"
Her eyes flashed with anger. "He could have called me too."
"Yes, he could have. But that's a two-sided coin, Lib. Fitz is a decent man. But he's a man, and he took his cues from you."
"So what am I supposed to do now, Cis? I'm pregnant with his child and he wants nothing to do with me."
"You don't know that for sure." Cecily let out a deep sigh. "I knew this whole fling idea was going to backfire. And I should've said so. But it was what you wanted so."
Olivia glared at her sister, but Cecily ignored her and kept talking.
"This is why I advised you put your cards on the table and let Fitz know how you really felt. You've learned the hard way about taking sexual relationships lightly. Feelings do become involved, especially if that relationship is with someone you care about. And in your case, love."
"Well I'm not going to disrupt his life or interfere in his happiness." Had she really lost Fitz to another woman?
"What are you saying, Lib? You're not going to fight for your man? You're just going to roll over and play dead?"
"I can't fight back," she said weakly.
"Of course you can," she assured her. "You know you can. The first thing you're going to do is tell that man that he's going to be a father."
"At this point, Cis, I think he'd be better off not knowing."
"What?! Girl do you hear how ludicrous you sound? It's selfish and ridiculous of you to hold this from him. This is Fitz's baby and he has a right to know about it, and I think he would want to know. There was a time, a few weeks ago actually, that you felt the same way."
"Well it looks like we were both wrong, Cecily."
"So what are you saying? You're not going to tell Fitz that you're pregnant because of what you think you saw in L.A.?"
Instead of answering, Olivia shook her head 'no.'
"You're not thinking rationally, Lib. Listen to what you're saying."
"I know what I'm saying and I know what I feel." Olivia stopped the lecture that she knew was coming.
Cecily tried a different tactic. "There could be legal ramifications, you know. Fitz could sue for joint custody if he finds out later that you gave birth to his child and kept it from him, and he'd be well within his rights to do so."
"I'm a lawyer, Cis, I'm well aware of that."
"So you've clearly thought this through?"
Olivia turned to look at her sister. "This is my baby, Cecily. Fitz doesn't have to be responsible, financially or otherwise. What's the point of telling him? He's made his feelings quite clear, he's moved on. I saw that with my own eyes in L.A.
"Well you're a lawyer and you know this decision is unwise. As I've said, the legal fallout could be considerable."
Cecily stood from the sofa and walked over to her sister.
"Secrets never help anything, Lib."
"I know."
"Do you?"
Olivia shook her head.
"Well call the man," Cecily said quietly.
Olivia shook her head. "Not right now; but I will call him, eventually, and tell him everything. Okay?"
Cecily gave her a skeptical look, but finally acquiesced. "Okay."
She grabbed Olivia's hand and pulled her toward the kitchen. "Now come on, let's eat." Their conversation tabled for now.
X
Fitz undid the top button of his shirt as he walked to the bar in his home and poured himself a scotch, neat. Taking a sip, he walked over to the windows in the living room and took in the magnificent view of L.A. This usually worked to calm him or help him work out a strategy, personal or business. Lately, it hadn't worked. It had been a month of no contact, which meant it was over. He and Olivia were really over. It hurt to say the words. He missed her and felt a familiar wave of sadness at the very thought of her. He tried his best to keep her off of his mind and most times he succeeded. Other times he missed her so much that he literally ached. Like now.
As he stared out at the city, he wondered how he could have done things differently. Fitz had been so sure that he could change her mind. He never really thought it would end even though Olivia had been adamant about the terms she'd set. Her departure had shaken him to his core. He felt some anger, but mostly he felt lost.
His heart was broken.
Now it all seemed like a fantasy. He wanted to call her, to hear her voice, but his pride wouldn't let him. He was a Grant, and Grant men didn't beg. He wouldn't beg Olivia to be in his life.
If it hadn't been for Deacon and Joie, and Frank and Anais, he didn't know how he would've gotten through the days immediately following Olivia's departure. They had been great. Although Deacon and Frank kept their questions and opinions to themselves, Joie and Anais weren't so tactful. He answered their questions as best he could without making Olivia seem heartless, especially when he was well aware of the terms she'd set for their brief affair.
Fitz and Frank were working on a project together that was personal to them. It was a way of giving back and taking the company in a different direction, but it didn't require him being at the helm. They would need financial backing from Grant Holdings and Fitz definitely didn't want to go to Ford. He knew that he would need his father and grandfather because they could go around Ford and their voices and their votes carried weight with the board. He also knew they would want something in return.
Fitz was well aware that they wanted him to manage the Grant AsiaPac project, but he had been declining all requests. Well the project meant enough for him to consider going to Asia. It was a huge undertaking and he knew he could handle it, but he just wasn't sure about living abroad for the next four years. He would also use it as leverage if he needed to. Besides there was nothing, currently, keeping him in the U.S.
X
Fitz presented his vision and plan to Fitzgerald Grant Junior and Senior via teleconference.
"What other direction is there, Fitz?" Senior asked.
"There's never one direction, Grandpa, when it comes to business," Fitz answered. "People no longer have to get into their cars to buy anything they want. There are apps for real estate companies where folks go online and decide what properties they want to look at before contacting an agent. But that's not what I want to talk about today."
"Oh?" asked JR.
"Yes, Pop." Fitz saw his father angle his head before he spoke.
"So what are trying to say?"
He smiled. "Well Pop, Grant Holdings has been a giant in real estate development, and we can do more. We've done well buying foreclosed properties and renovating them into luxury units at astronomical prices. The company has been very successful. Now I think it's time that we consider those who can't afford the luxury units. For every building we put up, we also need to build affordable housing."
"Is that what you and Higgins have been working on?" JR asked.
"Yes. We want to show the public that Grant Holdings is not just about profits but helping people realize their American dream with home ownership."
"So you and Higgins are going to design the homes?" his grandfather asked.
"Well we've already finished the blueprints for the homes we plan to build. Frank will manage the project if I decide to join the AsiaPac team. We're just looking for funding to purchase the land."
"And where is this land?"
"Right here in L.A. There's a shortage of modern affordable homes."
"And if this project is approved, you'll consider joining the AsiaPac team?" his father asked.
"Yes, Pop, I will. Construction on The Max is nearly complete and we'll have the ribbon cutting ceremony next month."
Both men perked up at Fitz's response. "Well, we'll make sure the project is on the agenda at the board meeting in two weeks. You have my support," his grandfather said.
"What about you, Pop?"
"You have my support as well, son. Of course your brother isn't going to be happy, but we'll handle him."
"Thank you, Pop, but I can handle Ford." He knew that once his brother caught wind that he was considering joining the AsiaPac team, he wouldn't be a problem.
The three men talked for a little while longer before they said their Goodbyes.
Fitz leaned back and put his feet up on the desk. He went over the conversation with his father and grandfather. The board would approve the funding for his project, he was sure of that and he would probably go to Asia. Olivia was gone and she wasn't coming back nor was she trying to contact him. Why was he sticking around? He needed to get away, to clear his mind, and a four year project across Asia was the best way to do it.
X
The next six weeks rushed by in a haze as Olivia returned home from the hospital with her baby, Elliott Christine Marie. She was named for both grandmothers and her aunts. Olivia had hired a baby nurse but her mother, Cecily and Aunt Carolyn Marie were never far away. Her parents were daily visitors and her paternal grandparents, Spencer and Olivia, took turns preparing meals for her.
Olivia enjoyed having her family around, especially her parents. Maya and Eli were thrilled about the birth of their first grandchild. At least that was a bright spot in her otherwise chaotic life.
She'd been honest with her parents from the beginning. Maya Pope had her misgivings, and they were certainly shocked, but they had been completely supportive.
"I'm quite capable of raising a child on my own. Women do it all the time."
"Well women might do this alone all of the time, but you don't have to. We will help. We want to help," her mother responded, unable to keep her excitement at bay.
Olivia's eyes filled with tears. "Thanks Mom, Dad."
Her father took her hand. "Of course, baby, of course."
"This is wonderful news, Libby. You know you'll have built-in babysitters," her mother added.
Olivia couldn't help but smile. She knew how much being grandparents meant to them.
Of course neither of them was happy about Olivia's decision not to tell the baby's father that she was pregnant. She also knew it wasn't right that she'd never told them what happened during her time in L.A. Of course they'd been too polite to ask, but she could only imagine what they were thinking. None of the family had asked who the baby's father was, probably because Maya made it clear that it wasn't up for discussion. Her mother knew, only because she'd figured it out. Her father knew just what she'd told him.
Elijah Pope was different though. Olivia was a daddy's girl so she knew that he'd always love and support her, no matter what. He didn't need to know everything. He just knew she was pregnant, that she was keeping the baby, and he'd been instantly smitten with Elliott when she was born. She had him wrapped around her little fingers from the moment he saw her.
Olivia had yet to actually reveal the name of her baby's father. The exception was Cecily and Harrison, whom she'd sworn to secrecy. Harrison had protested, saying that Fitz had a right to know he'd fathered a child. Fitz was his friend and they worked for the same company, so they were bound to run into each other. She was putting him in a horrible position. It was going to be hard knowing that his friend had a child, with his cousin no less, and being unable to say anything. Olivia knew he was right but there was no changing her mind. Truth be told, anyone who knew Fitz knew instantly who'd fathered Elliott the moment they saw her, but they respected Olivia's decision not to identify her daughter's father and kept their observations to themselves.
Although Olivia had not planned on becoming a mother, she had learned quickly. She'd read countless books on feedings, teething, potty training and the average milestones for crawling, walking and talking. She had childproofed her new house with outlet covers and safety locks, and all furniture with sharp edges were placed out of the way. She was prepared for anything.
Of course being a new mother had its drawbacks. She'd become sleep-deprived when she had to get up every four hours to breast-feed, or when she would sleep on the floor next to the crib to feel the tiny hands or feet to check to see if Elliott's fever had spiked.
Being a new mother also had its rewards when Elliott learned to sit up, roll over, learned to say Dada, Mama, bottle, and demand more to eat when it was something she liked. The first time she stood up and took three steps before landing on her bottom Olivia cried happy tears. Her baby had become a toddler.
Her parents were godsends as were Cecily, August, Aunt Caro and even Hayes. They all picked up the slack when she needed them, and made sure that Elliott wasn't missing out on anything because her father wasn't in her life. They celebrated every birthday, attended every school performance, piano or dance recital, were usually the loudest group in the dojo and had enjoyed Disney World just as much as Elliott had, if not more. Her family helped considerably, and Olivia had never taken their love and support for granted.
Elliott was a beautiful, bright, happy and well-adjusted child. And that was due to her Olivia's and her family's love and attention. She could also be bossy and stubborn, traits that Olivia attributed to her father, naturally.
Olivia couldn't count the number of spa days and tea parties the men in her life had graciously attended and patiently allowed Elliott to paint their nails or wear a feather boa and tiara while she poured tea and placed cookies on little saucers for them to eat. Yes, she had her Yaya, Pop Pop, Tante, Uncle Aug, Weetie, (Carolyn's nickname was 'Sweetie'), Uncle Hayes and Uncle Harrison in her life. But were they enough?
But all of the attention from the men in her life didn't stop Elliott from asking questions about her father. She'd been asking off and on since she was old enough to realize that most of her friends and classmates had two parents and Olivia had always tried to answer her questions honestly. For the most part, Elliott seemed satisfied. She knew that his name was Fitzgerald Grant and that he was currently away working on a big project. But as she got older, the questions were becoming more frequent and more pointed and Olivia was running out of answers. Which is why she was grateful for this week of no 'daddy' questions from Elliott and had somewhat relaxed as she tucked her daughter in bed for the night.
"Story time, Mommy," Elliott yawned tiredly.
"Would you like to read one of the new books that Tante gave you?" Olivia asked as she walked over to the child-size shelves that ran along the wall. Elliott's bookshelves were crammed with books for every age.
"Mia, Mommy!" she said around another yawn, barely able to keep her eyes open.
Olivia knew Elliott was going to request 'I'm A Pretty Black Girl,' but she asked anyway. It was her daughter's current favorite and they read it every night. She picked up the book then settled beside Elliott on the white maple upholstered double panel bed.
"Ready baby?"
"I'm not a baby, Mommy. I'm a big girl," Elliott said indignantly as she snuggled closer to her mother, placing her head on her shoulder.
"I know, but you're still my baby girl."
Olivia had read the story so many times that she could have recited it without the book, but she read it slowly, hoping Elliott would fall asleep before the story ended, thus avoiding the 'daddy' questions. But tonight Elliott wouldn't be deterred.
"Mommy, when is my daddy coming to see me?" she mumbled tiredly.
Olivia stopped reading and looked at her daughter's upturned face. The face she shared with her father. She had told Elliott that one day her daddy would come and see her and take her home with him for a visit. How could she tell her baby that the chances of that happening were slim, since her daddy wasn't even aware of her existence.
Elliott didn't wait for her mother to answer the first question before she asked another.
"Does he love me?" her innocent voice ripped the hole in Olivia's heart even bigger.
"Yes, baby, he does. And when he sees you he's going to be very happy and excited and he's going to love you more than anything in this world." At least she knew that was the truth. If and when Fitz ever met his little girl he was going to fall in love with her.
"Okay…," Elliott said as she rubbed her eyes with her balled fist.
Olivia placed the book on the night table and sat up.
"Come here. Let me rock you to sleep. My big girl's so tired. Mommy's tired too. I'm going to sleep really hard and have happy dreams. How about you?"
Elliott nodded, her head on her mother's chest.
Olivia rocked her daughter until she fell asleep. This had been their nightly ritual since she'd brought Elliott home from the hospital. Her baby was growing up and didn't want to be rocked as often, but when she did, Olivia jumped at the chance. The warmth of her daughter's body was reassuring. It reconfirmed her motherhood and gave her comfort as well. She stood with a sleeping Elliott in her arms and walked over to the bed and tucked her in. She sat on the side of the bed and watched her baby sleep for a few minutes before tiptoeing out of the room, leaving a night light on in both the bedroom and the ensuite bathroom.
She went downstairs, straight to her wine bar and poured herself a generous amount of Cabernet Sauvignon, before walking into her family room. Rather than settling in front of the television, she paced back and forth across the hardwood floor thinking about Elliott's questions. Taking a sip of wine, she sighed, shaking her head. No matter how much she tried to put Fitz out of mind, she realized that was impossible. Especially not with his clone asleep upstairs.
She wished that she could at least feel resentment or anger toward him. But she couldn't. As much as she hated to admit it, she was as much at fault as he was. She could have waited. She could have gone to New York City to see him. She could have. But what difference did it make? She knew that what she'd done was wrong. It was stupid and selfish, but it was the only thing she felt she could've done under the circumstances.
Unfortunately her choices had affected her child, and Elliott had suffered, having to grow up without a Father. Often she thought if she'd stayed in L.A., how different her life might have been. But she hadn't stayed and things between them ended abruptly, leaving her alone and raising their child as single parent. The one good thing that had come from their brief affair was Elliott. And now her baby was asking for her Daddy.
Olivia had been trying for years to figure out a way to bring Elliott's father into her life. Of course she'd tried to do the right thing from the beginning. She would have never kept Elliott from her father. And, she'd always intended to let Fitz know that they'd had a child.
Sighing, Olivia finally stopped pacing and took a seat in one of the overstuffed chairs, tucking her feet beneath her. She knew this day would come. The day when Elliott would start asking questions about her father, but she didn't have the answers. She should've been prepared, but she thought she had more time. Besides, what would she say? For years she'd pushed those thoughts away, unable to deal with the painful truth. So how could she explain to her sweet girl that her mother had kept her very existence away from the Daddy she longed for. She couldn't. But this wasn't about her or even Fitz for that matter. This was about Elliott. For her, she would do anything, including trying to contact him.
Olivia knew this day of reckoning was inevitable, but that didn't mean she was looking forward to it. She needed to right the terrible wrong she'd done. She didn't doubt that Fitz would probably despise her for keeping his baby from him, but if trying to contact Fitz again meant her baby's happiness she was willing to endure his wrath.
Her decision made, Olivia stood and walked into the kitchen to rinse her wineglass. She made the routine round of the house, double checking all of the locks and setting the alarm, and headed upstairs to prepare for bed.
X
Over the next few months Olivia worked on a new case that kept her extremely busy. So busy that she hadn't thought about Fitzgerald Grant again. Between the case and her daughter's extracurricular activities, she really didn't have time. Elliott hadn't mentioned her Daddy again, so she placed it on the backburner. Besides, she had bigger issues.
For a month her family had been put under the scrutiny of the U.S. government. Dr. Maya Elliott Lewis-Pope had been nominated by the current President to become the nation's next Surgeon General. The family had been thoroughly vetted and her mother was now waiting for her Senate confirmation hearing. Everyone knew that the hearing was a mere formality and that she would be unanimously confirmed.
Olivia didn't like being put into spotlight. She valued her privacy as well as her daughter's. But they'd had a family meeting and everyone had agreed that her mother should accept the nomination. She was happy for her mother but she couldn't shake the sinking feeling she'd had since the beginning of the vetting process. She couldn't wait for it all to be over.
On a beautiful May morning, Olivia, her father, sister, brother-in-law and her daughter all stood with her mother, in front of cameras at the White House as the Vice-President of the United States conducted the swearing in ceremony for the newest Surgeon General of the United States of America. Not many people watched these ceremonies, but in an office high above New York City, the past that she'd tried so hard to forget was watching, and was about to make a return appearance in her life.