Hello everyone! I am fine – just a little stranded at the moment, thanks for the concern!

Everyone is still SO mad at Rose haha. I agree, it was very cowardly and selfish but I am trying to show that she is acknowledging her faults and trying to be better.

Rose and Dimitri had a lot of problems in their relationship because of Dimitri's habit of blaming and distancing himself. But together they worked on it. Of course Rose has her faults too. I'm not justifying her behaviour but I've tried to stick to what makes sense with her character. She is very impulsive and acts before she consults with people. This is a fault I've always seen in her character and I thought it important to address it and make her realise that it's time to grow up and accept that her actions, no matter how noble the intentions, have consequences. I also think its an important realisation for her that she may need to re-examine her priorities.

Given how deeply ingrained these traits are in Rose (and how stubborn she is), I think it would take something major to make her realise she needs to change.

People make mistakes, sometimes horrible ones. But if they take responsibility and are willing to change then there is always a chance of fixing things.

I hope you are all enjoying still :)

DPOV

I lay on the couch, my eyes staring unseeingly at the ceiling as the voices whispered loudly around me.

"We have to be quiet, Dec. If you're super, super quiet Daddy will get you a toy."

"Super quiet, Dec," Sydney whispered before whisper-exclaiming, "Good boy!"

I rolled my eyes. Declan hadn't made a peep all morning, but I'd heard nothing but constant whispers from Adrian and Sydney, bribing his silence.

There was the sound of the front door clicking shut as Adrian and Sydney left with Declan in toe, carefully closing the door behind them.

I sighed in relief, thankful to be alone with my thoughts. As much as I loved Adrian and I was appreciative of him letting me stay, I simply didn't want to talk about it anymore. I just wanted to make myself busy and forget about this whole nightmare.

Which wasn't easy to do when his wife had insisted on supporting Rose through this. She had gotten in very late last night. I supposed things hadn't gone well with Rose.

I halted my thoughts there before they could progress. I didn't want to think of her right now. I had just managed to fan out some of my anger via an angry drunken rant to Adrian. I shuddered at the memory. I had sounded like my father.

Never again, I thought to myself, promising that I would channel this energy in the most productive way I knew how.

Work.

With that I sat up, shedding my feelings of self-pity and donning my workout gear. I resolved to have a quick workout before heading down to Guardian Headquarters and offering my time for any services not relating to Christian or Lissa. They would be occupied with council meetings with her and that was the last thing I needed.

I was in the gym, giving a boxing bag a beating it probably didn't deserve when my phone rang.

"Hello?" I said, panting into the speaker.

"Dimka!" Mama exclaimed and I shifted to the floor, trying to catch my breath whilst kicking myself for not checking the caller ID.

"Hi, mama," I said, sucking a breath in through my nose and slowly releasing it.

"It's been so long," she scolded softly and I sighed.

"I'm sorry," I said, working to keep the irritation out of my voice. It's not her you're mad at. "I've been very busy."

There was a short pause at the other end of the line and my ears prickled. Mama was never silent.

"Babushka mentioned I should call you..." she finally admitted sheepishly. "She said something about darkness being on your horizon."

I sighed again.

"Yes," I finally replied after a long moment of tense silence. "But nothing that I particularly want to talk about."

"You never want to talk, Dimka. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't," she lightly scolded and I suppressed a groan.

Why did I have to be born into a family that insisted so heavily on talking about their feelings? I didn't want to confront my feelings about Rose; I wanted to bury myself into work. It was just easier that way.

"Perhaps later, mama," I said quickly, my tone dismissive. "I really must get back to my workout. I have a lot of shifts in the coming days," I lied. Well, I would have a lot of shifts after I went to Guardian Headquarters, so it was only a half-lie.

There was the muffled sound of the phone changing hands quickly and mama's muted protests.

"Dimka," Babushka's voice came through the speaker, her tone harsh. "I know you are hurting, but you must listen to your wife."

"Excuse me?" I said incredulously.

She made a clucking sound with her tongue at my tone.

"Listen to me, boy. Sometimes the darkest things in our lives put us directly on the path to the light. Someday, everything will make sense."

"I don't care about that right now, babushka," I said through gritted teeth. "Rose betrayed me. I won't forget that for some vague future promise of 'light'."

"I'm not saying you have to forgive her now, boy. Listen to me." Her tone was harsh and it silenced me. I sat on the phone, waiting expectantly for her to continue. If babushka wanted to talk, then there really was no sense in trying to stop her.

"Trust that everything happens for a reason, Dimka," she continued after a long pause. "Even when we are not wise enough to see it, the stars are in motion... through all the chaos the universe is taking you exactly where you need to be. You're just too close to the puzzle to see the picture."

I didn't respond. I stared at the punching bag angrily. Great. Now I needed to start my workout all over again.

"Don't be so hard on her, Dimka," she continued when I didn't respond. "What she did was wrong, but she felt it was right because it is right."

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't sass me, boy!" she exclaimed and I jumped back slightly, swearing under my breath. "And don't swear," she barked. "You will move past this. I just wanted to let you know that light is coming. I have seen it."

I sighed, muttering my thanks to babushka before I hung up my phone and leapt up, going at the boxing bag with everything I had.

An hour later, I was exhausted and in the office space at Headquarters, waiting for a meeting with Hans. I had argued it wasn't necessary. Just sign me up for a shift, any shift. I wasn't picky. But apparently Hans had insisted on seeing me before I was approved for anything.

"Belikov," he called from his open door.

I stood, schooling my expression as I entered the room.

"You requested to see me?" I asked, pulling out a chair opposite his desk.

"You want to work?" he asked me and I nodded, keeping my expression carefully neutral.

He sighed, "You understand my concerns about that, I'm sure."

"I really don't, sir," I replied cautiously. "I'm one of the best guardians you have. Surely some court work isn't beneath my ability."

"I'm not worried about your ability, Belikov," he chastised. "That's never been in question. What I am worried about is your headspace. Can I trust you to keep your private life separate?"

I nodded, working to keep my tone steady. "It's never been an issue before, sir. And it never will be again. You have my word."

He nodded, tenting his fingers as he studied me. "I understand, Belikov, really I do. And I've always supported you as a guardian. To lose you, as so many of the council have lobbied for, would have been a great loss. But your behaviour in that meeting was unacceptable. Already I've had council members breathing down my neck about Dhampir-Dhampir relationships. Add that to this drama about offensive magic Hathaway's caused and I'm neck-deep in council drama. I don't need any more trouble."

I nodded, repeating myself. "You have my word, Hans. No more trouble."

"Alright then," he finally said after a long moment of silence.

I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

"Alright then," I echoed, giving him a brief nod before I turned to leave his office.

Time to get to work.

And that's what I did. For days I threw myself into my job, working 18-hour shifts anywhere they needed an extra hand. And it really did make things easier. I focused on the task at hand, never allowing my mind to wander, not even for a second.

I started at the sound of a knock on the door. I'd just gotten back from another long and silent shift and was finally drifting off to sleep. I sat up in annoyance, well aware that my mood had been foul for days. The other guardians were avoiding me, not that I blamed them. I wasn't exactly a joy to talk to these days. But even in my self-imposed exile, I noticed the shift in the energy of the guardians as they worked around me. They were excited about the prospects Roses' plan would bring. The very idea of it made me feel sick, and I was thankful none of them were stupid enough to bring it up in front of me.

I opened the door to find Christian standing there, shifting on his feet uncomfortably.

"Hey man," he said, giving a small wave.

"Hey," I replied, rubbing my eyes. "Adrian's asleep."

"Actually, I came to see you. Sorry about the hour," he apologised. "You've been kind of a hard man to catch."

I nodded, stepping to the side to let him in.

He sat across from me, nodding towards the couch I sat on with the blankets and pillows neatly arranged.

"You sleeping alright?" he asked, looking concerned. "You could have stayed with us you know. We have a room for you."

I shook my head, "I know. I just wanted to be as far removed from this... situation as possible."

Christian nodded; his gaze far away as he studied the pictures Adrian and Sydney had lining the walls.

"I understand," he said eventually.

"You wanted to talk to me?" I asked after a long moment of silence.

"Yeah," Christian cleared his throat, his gaze turning back to me. "I'm sorry I haven't seen you yet. I kept trying to pop by, but you were never in."

"I've been working," I supplied and Christian nodded again.

"Right," he said. "Makes sense." He sighed, "Listen, the wedding's very close. I just wanted to check that you're okay, that you're still okay being my best man... considering who the maid of honour is."

"Of course," I said. "I made that commitment, I'm not going to back out of it. I'm happy for you and Lissa, I truly am."

"Have you spoken to her yet?"

I knew he wasn't talking about Lissa.

I shook my head, getting up to grab a glass of water.

"Drink?" I asked over my shoulder.

"Yeah," Christian said and I quickly filled two glasses, schooling my expression before I turned back to him.

"Don't worry," I said wryly as I placed the glass in front of him. "I'm not going to go on some anti-marriage tirade during speeches."

"I'm not worried about that," he said, his tone sombre. "I'm worried about you, and how you're handling this. Have you given any thought to this situation at all? Or have you just buried yourself in work?"

I glared at him, "How I handle this is none of your concern."

He raised his hands in surrender. "I'm not trying to butt my head in. I just... I'm just worried about you. Are you going to speak to her before she goes?"

"I don't know," I answered curtly.

Why would no one leave me the hell alone?

"I'm worried if you don't see her... you could end up regretting it forever."

The unspoken if Rose dies hung heavily in the air between us. I took a deep breath, working to keep my breathing and my heartbeat steady.

"I honestly haven't thought about it," I said when I'd finally gotten my breathing back under control.

"Don't you think you should?" he asked gently.

"I don't want to think about it, Christian," I snapped. I took another deep breath when I saw his eyebrows raise in surprise at my tone. "Sorry," I muttered.

"I understand," he said eventually. "I don't mean to intrude. I'm sorry. Just with the wedding so close and all, I thought I should check on you and see how you're doing. I know this isn't an easy time for you. I don't want you to feel like our happiness is being shoved down your throat."

I sighed, feeling guilty for my flare-up. "No, I'm sorry," I apologised. "I'm just a little on edge, but I know you're just trying to help." I met his gaze, trying to convey to him how much I truly meant this sentence. "I'm happy for you. You and Lissa are a great couple and you deserve to have an amazing day. Don't worry about me."

"Yeah, she's fantastic," he said, taking a long sip of water. "She's great, and I love her. But we've certainly had our share of struggles too. We had a lot to overcome after the whole situation with Avery, I mean, she cheated on me and that destroyed a lot of trust." I shifted back on the couch, my eyes lifting to the ceiling. I know where this is going. "I guess at some point I had to decide whether I was ready to accept that and try to move on," he continued. "Everyone makes mistakes. I mean, I'm certainly not perfect, so I can't expect her to be."

I worked on controlling my anger, taking a deep breath. He's just trying to help. "It's not just one mistake though, is it?" I said coolly. "This is a pattern. I always put it down to age and maturity, but here we are, a year into marriage and she's done something like this. It's made me question everything."

"I know,' he said, giving a big sigh. "It was definitely wrong. If I were you, I would be pissed. I don't even know what I'd do. I guess..." he trailed off, his eyes moving back to the pictures lining the wall. "I guess at some point you have to ask yourself if you can accept this part of her... if you can accept the bad parts of her as well as the good. And if you're ready to work with her to help her change for the better. I know she spent a lot of time and energy helping you to do that, working with you to overcome your demons."

I thought about that for a long moment. Rose had spent years of her life listening to me and supporting me through therapy as I worked on my guilt. Even when I pushed her away, she never gave up.

But could I move past this?

I didn't know.

"I also wanted to let you know," he continued hesitantly when I didn't reply, "that the date is set. It's happening the day after the wedding. No matter what you decide, I just thought I should let you know."

My face remained in its practised impassive mask but inside my heart stopped.

Two days.

Just two more days until she was gone. Would she ever come back?

My stomach flipped in a mix of fear and guilt and anger.

"Thank you for letting me know," I said eventually, my tone even.

He studied me for a long moment, obviously surprised by my reaction.

"Anyway man," he said after a long moment. "I'll leave you time to think. If you ever need to chat, please come talk to me. Anytime."

I nodded my thanks, standing to let him out and closing the door behind him.

I sat back down on the couch with a sigh, pulling my wedding ring off and studying it closely. I thought back to all of the moments leading up to our relationship, all the seemingly impossible barriers to our love, as I twisted the ring between my fingers. I thought about our wedding day, about the vows I made to her and the ones she made to me. The ones she had so cruelly broken. I thought about that horrible, dark time in my life. The time where the guilt was so crushing that I spent almost every night staring at my razor blade, wondering if I should just end it all. The only thing that had stopped me was the knowledge that I deserved the pain; I deserved to suffer for what I did. I didn't get to die and take the easy way out; no matter how badly it hurt, I didn't get to do that. And I thought about Rose, I thought about the look on her face when I told her that I had no room in my heart to love her anymore. I thought about the feeling in my stomach as I watched her face crumple before me. I thought about her forgiving me. Even though she'd risked her life to save me and I'd turned my back on her, she never blamed me. Even after everything, she took my hand and led me out from that darkness, one patient step at a time. Lastly, I thought about that moment, that horrifying, terrifying moment when I realised she planned to leave me. That she had hidden it from me and told me in the most cowardly way imaginable. I thought of the look in her eyes as she slowly shook her head, silently telling me that no matter how much I begged she wouldn't change her mind. I thought about the way I'd felt as my terror shifted into betrayal, and then into anger.

I thought about the possibility of Rose dying. In less than two days she would be out of the wards, in the hands of the Strigoi. I shut my eyes tightly against the onslaught of images that invaded my mind, desperate to erase them.

I held the ring in my hand taking a deep breath as I squeezed it tightly.

I knew what I had to do.

What do you think Dimitri's plan is? There is a kind of resolution to this all coming in the next chapter and I hope you will all be happy with it.

Don't forget to review :)