Hey guys, long time no see! Hope everyone had a lovely holiday season :)
Shorter chapter this time around, the next should be much longer. Most of my time will be taken up this spring, yet again by school and now work, but! Please know I never forget about my stories. This one will be seen through to the end just as the others will be, and I think you guys'll like the ending I have in store for this one. Part of me wants to write another Ray/Amanda fic, but I have no idea what to write. Truth be told, I didn't even know this was a pairing until I stumbled upon some fanart and fanfics on deviantart back in like, 2010 I think? It was a long time ago; nevertheless, Welcome to Dead House always stuck out in my mind whenever I saw anything remotely related to Goosebumps. I read it when I was 9ish and I still remember feeling totally on-edge when it gets to the part where Josh and Amanda find the gravestones. I loved the character design for Ray and if I squinted, I could kinda see how he'd be crushing on Amanda, and suddenly boom! Here we are, a story about singing and healing and overcoming trauma. I dunno how we got here, but I hope you guys have enjoyed the journey all the same! XD
To AlchemyWriter: thank you! I wish you the best of luck as you continue your journey through college! And I do hope you continue to enjoy this story ^_^
To Pidgeapodge: fret not, dear friend! You didn't make me feel bad at all. As someone who is passionate about writing, I am always open to constructive feedback and ways I can improve my technique. I truly appreciate you taking the time out to not only review, but to also let me know that there are some errors that got past me. I can't speak for everyone, but I know as an FF author, I love it when people take the time to let me know what they think of my work; it makes it worthwhile, even if they're saying, "Hey, I noticed x, y, and z is a little wonky, just a heads-up." It helps me feel like I'm not just tossing ideas and effort into the void, you know? Thank you for being kind about it as well; as I've said, not everyone is nice about pointing out story flaws, so thank you for reading my story, for helping me see what I can improve on, and for being an absolute delight to speak with ^_^ I hope you continue to enjoy my works!
On with the chapter!
[20]
Ray Thurston was undead. His skin was supposed to be cold with death, his veins no longer heated by the red liquid of life that he and the rest of Dark Falls needed to consume annually. He was not supposed to smell like mint and boy sweat; his flesh was supposed to smell rotten and disgusting, enough to make a regular human being retch. Yet as he gently held Amanda close, he felt warm and he smelled pleasant. He felt almost human.
Amanda wasn't sure what to do. Should she hug him back? Or should she just continue to awkwardly stand there, arms stiffly at her sides while he embraced her? Whatever tears were beginning to trail down her cheeks seemed to have frozen, her eyes no longer burning with emotion. Her mind had gone blank the moment his arms wound around her, fear and adrenaline lighting up her system at his touch. Was he going to harm her? Was this the part where he pretended to be her friend, then took her life?
A few frantic heartbeats later and no, he hadn't harmed her. She realized he was hugging her, an action she'd never expected from him. Ray didn't seem to be the touchy-feely type, especially not when it came to enemies, and Amanda was well aware that she was one of his enemies. However, when Ray pulled back to look at her, whatever fear had been clouding her mind faded away. He wasn't going to harm her at all; the remorse and pain in his eyes indicated that he truly wasn't out for revenge. The concerns she'd had about revealing her identity to Ray were for naught.
Amy had been right all along. Fear was a hell of a drug and it'd made Amanda think all sorts of crazy things.
"Do you... How do you..." Amanda motioned with her hands, not sure what she was trying to ask but knowing she wanted to say something. When confusion flickered across Ray's features, she let her hands fall back to her sides in defeat, shrugging miserably. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was trying to say."
"It's fine," he assured her. He kept looking at her as if trying to commit every detail of her face to memory. "I apologize, but I'm in shock. Are... Are you really Amanda Benson?"
She nodded in affirmation and he couldn't help but continue to stare at her. How many years had he dreamed of a chance to meet with her again? How many times had he thought about her, wondered what she was doing and how she was? And yet here she was, standing in front of him: beautiful, healthy, and with one of the lightest, kindest auras he'd ever sensed in a human being. She was the closest to perfect that he could imagine.
"I'm sorry for lying," she finally managed to sputter out. "I started working here as a singer before you and Karen started to come by, and when you started talking to me, everything just kind of happened. I-it's not an excuse for lying to you,by the way. I'm just trying to be honest."
Ray could still taste the mix of fear and uncertainty that permeated the air around her. She was afraid of him, terrified that he was going to seek some kind of revenge on her for trying to save herself and her family that fateful night in Dark Falls. Her aura was light and gentle at its core, but there was pain there, like she'd been through something that left a permanent scar.
Dark Falls was that scar, wasn't it? How many years had she been suffering?
"I am so, so sorry for all the pain I've caused you." His voice shook with emotion that made her look up again. "I know you may not believe me, but I am. I'm sorry, Amanda."
He's... sorry? She hadn't been expecting that.
"I'm sorry for that night, for what we have to do to survive," he continued, his hypnotic blue eyes sharp with sincerity as they bore into hers. "I'm sorry for the fear you feel every time you look at me. I'm sorry for causing you so much anxiety and distress. I'm sorry for whatever hardships your family has had to endure because of Dark Falls. I... I cannot even begin to tell you how truly sorry I am for everything, for my part in your pain."
Amanda could only blink at him, dumbfounded at his apologies. The adrenaline that had pierced her veins slowly began to fade. Her heart continued its frantic thrumming against her ribcage, but she was beginning to understand that this truly was not going to become a violent, explosive confrontation. Ray was apologizing to her, and she was sure that if Amy were watching, she would say that Ray should be the one apologizing, not Amanda. And, well... Amy was right. Again.
"I've waited years to say that to you," he admitted, eyes lowering to the floor in shame. "I don't know what it is, but I couldn't stop thinking about you, about that night. I understand how weird that sounds and I don't mean to be a creep, but I kept thinking about you and there was so much I wanted to say. Even now, there are so many things I want to say, but I don't even know where to start. I figured an apology would be a pretty good preface."
A part of her was touched that he'd thought enough to at least start with an apology. "I thought you'd be angry with me."
Ray's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Angry? Why?"
"The flashlight," she wrung her hands nervously. "Josh and I, we didn't mean to kill you-"
"He was trying to protect you from me," Ray corrected. "I was going to drain you dry if he hadn't shone that light in my face. He did the right thing. You did the right thing by saving your family."
"B-but I don't understand, I thought... I thought you would hate me."
The handsome blond took her delicate hands into his. "I was human once, too. When I became like this I lost a lot of my memories, but I can vaguely remember fighting the change as best as I could. When you're human, it's natural to fight to stay alive; I'd actually be concerned if you hadn't fought against us as hard as you did. It's okay, Amanda. I promise, I don't hate you and I'm not holding a grudge against you for doing what you needed to do."
His expression, his eyes, the meaningful way in which he looked at her... Whatever fear had remained in her system disappeared.
"How did you... I-I mean." Amanda let out a breath. Her mind felt blank, like the English language had been wiped from her brain at Ray's apologetic reaction. "Honestly, I expected a much more volatile... I guess what I'm saying is, you're taking this much better than I thought you would. N-no offense, of course."
"None taken." His thumbs ran over her knuckles in a way that reminded her of the budding feelings she had for him. His touch was strangely comforting; for someone who led an entire town of zombies to feed on humans, he was a surprisingly gentle soul. "Look, I will admit I wasn't exactly thrilled to be reduced to a puddle, but that was years ago. What good would it do to hold a grudge? What exactly would I accomplish if I stayed angry at you? And you were in the right for defending yourself, so I don't exactly have a reason to be angry with you. Taking revenge never did anyone any favors."
In that moment, Amanda realized she hadn't taken into account how mature Ray had become. The annual blood had aged his body and his mind. The person she was talking to was not petty, vindictive, or childish in any way; she was talking to an adult who was self-reflective, mature, and empathetic. He understood right from wrong and he was taking responsibility for something she had unfairly burdened herself with. There was no reason for her to apologize for Josh's actions, nor had she done anything wrong to begin with.
She wasn't sure if Ray didn't knew it, but he was giving her back the power she'd lost. All these years, she and her family had allowed Dark Falls to have dominion over their lives, to have power over their actions. It was why those first few years, the house was lit up like a Christmas tree during nighttime; why the Benson siblings dared not walk in the shadows when they walked home together after school; it was why whenever the name of that cursed town was ever mentioned, her father would become pale and her mother's hands would shake, her eyes glazing over as if she'd been mentally transported back to Dark Falls. Those first few years, the Benson family struggled to return to a normal life; it was only after extensive therapy and a lot of family time that they were able to regain some semblance of functionality.
Something in Amanda's mind clicked just then, and it was then that she knew she didn't need to be afraid of Ray anymore. There was no reason to be afraid of Dark Falls either. The other residents may still pose a threat and she certainly didn't plan on ever returning to that place, but Ray was the main person she'd been afraid of, and he was explicitly stating there was no reason to be afraid of him. He'd confirmed it himself that he was not trying to seek revenge against her, nor did he view her brother's act of self-defense as something to hate her over. After years of anxiety, fear, of looking over her shoulder, she was free.
She was free.
Ray watched as something in Amanda's eyes changed. He wasn't sure what it was, but her aura changed as well, this time to something more positive. The fear and anxiety that had been suffocating her was gone, just like that, and without the cloud of negative emotions, he could sense genuine curiosity, relief, and... There was another emotion there, but he couldn't quite place it. Either way, her aura was lighter and stronger than before and it was far more intoxicating and addicting than any fear he'd sensed from humans in the past. It was enough to make him feel high.
"So.. where do we go from here?" Amanda asked, her hands still in his. "Are we still friends?"
The blond smiled at her in a boyish way that made her butterfly feeling worse. "If you still want to be, then yes, we're still friends."
The relief and joy that flooded her was almost too much to bear. Tears welled up in her eyes and she let go of Ray's hands to quickly wipe them away, a watery smile on her face.
"Thank you, Ray. I-I never thought I'd say that, but thank you."
He wanted to hug her. He had so much more he wanted to say to her, there was so much he wanted to ask and know and talk about, but before he could respond, another voice broke the magic of their moment.
"Ray? We have to go or we'll be stuck here for a week, which wouldn't be a bad thing, but you know how Compton worries."
Karen. He'd forgotten about her and the others waiting patiently for him outside. He shot an apologetic glance towards Amanda, who was overflowing with so much relief and happiness that her emotions were overwhelming him. He wanted nothing more than to stay with this angel of a human being.
"Could we continue talking about all of this next time we see each other?" he asked. "There's so much I've been dying to say... If you're comfortable with it, of course. I don't want you to feel obligated."
"Sure." Amanda sniffled, that watery smile still present. "Is it okay if I hug you?"
He happily obliged her, pulling her into an embrace that only increased the positive emotions that were coming off of her like gentle ocean tides. Her small, lithe frame felt perfect in his arms, and the warm fuzzy feelings that welled up in his stomach told him his crush had never gone away. Her sweet scent wrapped around him, the final blow after drowning in her happiness. Perhaps he'd known all along who was sitting beside him at the bar; perhaps he'd always known that the beautiful brunette singing on stage was the girl he'd been dying to see again. He hadn't been conscious of what his gifts were telling him, but now it made sense, and he was so glad that Siren, the beautiful woman who'd captured countless monsters with her voice and confidence, himself included, was actually the girl he'd been longing to see again.
After years of wondering how things would turn out, suffice it to say he was shocked that Amanda was allowing him to hug her. Truth be told, Ray liked being close to her like this. It was an immense relief that she wasn't afraid of him anymore, that they'd made peace with each other, that Amanda didn't hate his guts like he'd expected.
"Ray?" Karen was calling him again. "Ray, we don't have much time left, hurry up!"
Reluctantly, he let go of the beautiful girl in his arms. "I have to go. Will I see you next week?"
Amanda beamed despite the tear-tracks still present on her face. "Wouldn't miss it for the world. I'll see you later, Ray."
*puts on sunglasses* Get in, nerds, we're healing from past supernatural trauma.