Piecing Together the Truth

Chapter 20

In the original design of the palace lands, the gardens had been walled off so that their splendour could only be enjoyed by the noble inhabitants and their visitors. Several generations ago, when the social climate on Alderaan had shifted, the walls had been knocked down to allow all to access the gardens. Leia was grateful for this historical fact as it meant that she was able to directly leave the palace grounds after her disastrous meeting with Luke Skywalker, instead of having to backtrack through the building and risk seeing her mother or father again.

Leia did not know if she would be able to hold her tongue if she saw either of them in her current mood. She was beyond furious, and Skywalker's evasive answers to her questions had not helped. Her rage propelled her feet forward, and she found herself uncaring of where she ended up as long as it was far away from her home. How dare they, she thought furiously, how dare they keep secrets from her. She was not some weak and frail girl who would break at bad news. If they had found out something about her past, then she deserved to know.

She continued to mentally berate her parents and bemoan the injustice of it all, all the while not paying attention to how far she had walked or for how long. She could not keep up the mood forever though, and eventually her footsteps slowed as the anger slowly drained from her. Looking up, Leia finally noticed where she was and realised with a shock that she had ended up at the parliament square. The grand building where policies were voted and decided upon stood proudly in the centre, while surrounding it was an unusual mixture of houses, each unique and different. These were the homes of the representatives that worked for the Alderaanian government. The houses each bore characteristics representative of the people that inhabited the district, a firm reminder to the individual who lived there just exactly who they were meant to be representing. A wooden cabin balanced on sturdy stilts and covered with different mosses for the parliamentary representative of a region of marshlands. A plain and conservative stone house built into a rock for the mountainous clans. A relatively normal building that would not have seemed out of place in the centre of the city to represent the Alderaan capital.

There were a number of benches scattered around the square, and Leia slumped tiredly onto one, only now noticing how her feet ached. If she'd have known she was to walk so much that day she would have worn more appropriate footwear. She felt drained, and with her anger no longer so prominent a few other recently neglected emotions returned to the forefront.

The day had been overwhelming, a confusing mix of different revelations and new questions. She struggled to juggle it all in her mind at once, and for one brief moment she was almost grateful she hadn't learned anything new from her parents or the Jedi. It would have only further complicated her attempts to come to terms with everything. She felt incredibly out of her depth, with too much information being bombarded at her from all angles and too many people expecting different things from her. She was expected to be a loving mother. A dutiful daughter. Whatever the hell she was to Commander Skywalker. She barely knew who she was meant to be anymore. A small part of her wished she could go back to the beginning, go back to that day on Tantive IV ready to face Vader and his interrogation. At least things had made sense then, and she had known exactly who she was.

It had been dusk when she had arrived at the square, and as she ruminated on her thoughts the sun disappeared beneath the horizon and darkness slowly descended. The few people walking about the square, late workers and tourists, soon left for their warm comfortable homes or hotels. The sight reminded Leia of her present dilemma. She didn't know what to do. Night was fast descending, and there was a chill in the air that made her shiver. She didn't want to go back to the palace and face her parents, but where else could she go? She couldn't stay in the square all night. Granted, Alderaan was certainly not the worst planet to be out late at night, but that didn't mean it was entirely safe.

Leia was so immersed in her thoughts, she didn't see the large-framed individual approaching her until they were stood at her side and actively trying to get her attention. The furred hand crossing her vision finally broke her reverie and raising her eyes she found herself surprised to see Chewie. It felt as though days had passed since she'd last encountered the Wookie, and it was strange to realise that in reality she had only seen him earlier that day.

"It's rather late to be visiting the sites, isn't it?" Leia said. She had meant for the comment to be a light-hearted quip, but instead it had come out dark and bitter.

Chewie looked concerned, he warbled something Leia couldn't understand before gently laying a hand on her shoulder.

"Am I okay?" She asked, guessing as to what he was saying. He nodded. "I'm fine." She tried to reassure him, but he did not look convinced. She tried to maintain the façade for a few moments before slumping her shoulders in defeat. "Actually, I'm really not." She admitted.

Before she knew what was happening, she was stood up and engulfed in a warm hug. It felt a little strange to be held by someone she still considered an acquaintance, but Leia could not deny that she needed the comfort after the day that she had. His fur seemed to radiate heat, which was also very welcome in the chilly evening air. When he finally moved away, she shivered a little as she was suddenly submerged again into the cold atmosphere.

Chewie gave her a good long look before huffing a sound that might have been a sigh, and gesturing away from the square. Leia frowned, unable to determine his meaning and remained unenlightened even when he gestured again, clearly also frustrated at the language barrier between them.

"I never thought I'd say this," Leia muttered more to herself than to the giant Wookie, "but in times like these I really miss Threepio."

The protocol droid's ability to understand a damn near incomprehensible number of languages certainly would have come in handy for this situation. But strangely, her utterance seemed to trigger something in Chewie, as he tilted his head oddly as though he recognised the name she had referred to. Whatever he was thinking it was clearly fleeting as in the next moment he had moved behind her and begun to gently push her in the same direction as he had gestured. Leia did not resist and let him take her in the familiar direction to the hanger bay that currently housed the Millennium Falcon.

Arriving at the Falcon for the second time that day, it felt as though days had passed rather than hours. But even as Leia longed for a bed and a long dreamless sleep, a feeling inside her suddenly urged her to pay attention to her surroundings and she immediately noticed the two people standing outside the ship.

Even with the distance between them, she recognised Han easily. His stance was open and friendly as he spoke to a woman she did not recognise. At first glance, the functionally dressed woman appeared to be a soldier. The laws on weapons had been relaxed in the war time, and it would be a while until the sight of a weapon-carrying soldier once again became a rarity on Alderaan, but the woman seemed excessively armed, as though prepared for battle. Upon closer examination though, Leia was surprised to note that there was something undeniably Alderaanian about the woman, from her bronzed skin to her black hair tied in traditional braids and pinned neatly out of the way to the back of her head.

The conversation, whatever it had been about, ceased the moment her and Chewie came into view. Han looked visibly surprised to see her again so soon after their last encounter, whereas the woman only appraised her quietly.

"What happened?" Han demanded immediately. Chewie warbled something and Han rounded on her again, eyes blazing. "Did someone hurt you?"

"No, no." Leia quickly denied, a little surprised at how much he seemed to care. She shot a concerned look over at the stranger, wary of being recognised and that her words might be reported back. The woman to her credit seemed to sense her discomfort, and moved closer to the still agitated Han. After a few quick, quiet words in his ear the woman lightly squeezed his arm and slipped away, leaving the three alone to their conversation.

"I had a fight with my family." She said once they were alone. It felt odd to speak to relative strangers about such a matter. For so long she and her parents had been a tightly-knit and fiercely loyal unit. She had never imagined that the day might come where they became so fractured that she had to seek help from elsewhere. She wound her arms around herself, as though that would make the thought less painful.

"About Jaina?" His voice took on a dangerous tone.

"What? No." She realised quickly that he had jumped to the conclusion that her parents had taken the news of their grandchild badly, and she shuddered as she realised that was one particular bombshell that hadn't been dropped yet. "I didn't get the chance to tell them. We fought over something else."

Han was silent for a moment. "Chewie," he began, turning towards his large friend. "I put Jaina to bed, can you check on her and make sure she isn't having one of her nightmares?" The Wookie nodded and disappeared into the ship.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Leia shook her head. "I'm just sick of everyone lying to me." Han looked as though he wanted to ask more, and what he asked her instead surprised her.

"Do you need somewhere to stay until everything cool off?" It was not something she had considered but now that he had suggested it, the idea presented itself as a neat solution to avoiding facing her parents until she was calm enough to avoid saying anything she might regret.

"Would you really let me stay here?" She asked sceptically. It appeared to be what he was offering, but it also seemed a step too far since they had only recently come to a truce on their awkward relationship.

"Of course. The Falcon will always be a home for you, if you ever need it."

"Really?" She looked up at him, eyes wide with surprise. "Even after…?"

"You're Jaina's mother." He replied simply, as though that was all that was important. "You'll always have a place with us." Then as if he wanted to quickly skip past the gravity of his statement, he switched subjects. "We have a spare bunk you can use for tonight."

"Thank you." On an impulse, and before she could stop herself, Leia embraced a surprised Han and pressed a quick, grateful kiss to his stubbled cheek. He flushed slightly, seemingly embarrassed by her gratitude, and waved an arm awkwardly at the ship.

"C'mon, I'll show you the room."

As he led her into the ship, Leia's curiosity overcame her. "Who was that woman that you were speaking to?"

"Who?" Han asked, and then after a short moment seemed to remember what she was talking about. "Oh year, her. Kiva. She's someone I worked with during the war. She heard I was here and dropped in for a quick catch up."

"She seemed…rather well armed for an Alderaanian."

Han huffed a short laugh. "Yeah, well war changes people. The spare cabin is just through here." He led her into a small room with a bunk crammed tightly into the corner. "It's not much," he added grudgingly.

"It's fine." Leia said quickly. She'd have taken a utilities cupboard over going back home that night.

"Have you had the chance to eat anything? Chewie said he wasn't sure how long you had been sitting on that bench when he found you."

The question was so unexpected that Leia was not able to respond as immediately as she might have, and she instead wracked her brains trying to remember when her last meal had been that day. Her silence was damning. "When did you last eat, Ami?" He demanded, sounding eerily like a disapproving governess Leia had been subjected to as a child.

"I had breakfast this morning." She admitted finally, feeling it best to omit mentioning the fact that she had not managed to keep down the slice of toast she had forced herself to eat.

Han sighed and shook his head in frustration. "Memory loss or no memory loss, it's useful to know that you're still utterly incapable of looking after yourself. You've always had terrible eating habits, and now more than ever you should be taking better care of yourself." He took her by the shoulders and began to steer her to the ship's galley, all the while continuing to berate her. Ordinarily, she might have objected to the coddling but a guilty niggle in the back of her mind told her that he was right, and she really should have been paying more attention, and so she suffered the lecture silently.

Soon enough, she was plonked down in a seat with a steaming pot of re-heated stew placed in front of her, the savoury and lightly spiced aroma igniting her neglected appetite. Within a few minutes, the bowl was empty and Leia was feeling much better. Han had sat with her while she ate, and she half-wondered whether he had stayed with her to make sure she actually finished the meal.

"So, what did you argue about with your parents?" He asked her, once she'd set her spoon down.

"They're lying to me about something." She said plainly. "Everyone is lying to me, and I can't stand it anymore." Even a total stranger was keeping secrets from her.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Thank you." Leia was unable to stop the yawn that escaped her as a fresh wave of exhaustion struck her. "I hope you don't think I'm rude, but could I-?"

"Of course."

He walked her to the spare cabin and stood awkwardly by the open door, one hand rubbing his neck.

"I think Ami-you, left some clothes. I could go get some for you?"

"If you wouldn't mind."

He returned a few minutes later with a small brightly coloured pile.

"If you need anything else, my cabin is just over there." He gestured awkwardly in the direction he'd just come from. "You left all sorts, I don't know if you want to go through it…"

"It's fine," Leia cut him off abruptly. She wasn't in the right headspace to see the room she had obviously shared with him at one point. Even if it held items that could give her answers, it was something that could wait.

"Well… goodnight."

"Goodnight." She responded in turn. "And thank you." He nodded in acknowledgement and departed back down the corridor.

Alone in the room, Leia changed into a comfortable and well-worn pair of t-shirt and shorts, and fell asleep moments after resting her head on the pillow of the bunk.

In the middle of the night, something nudged Leia's shoulder, disturbing her sleep. Too tired to care, she rolled away from the intrusion and buried her head deeper into the pillows. The prod came again, this time more insistent and accompanied by a soft little call. Again she ignored it, stretching a sleepy arm over to lightly swat away the annoyance. Her hand came into contact with soft, tousled hair, and was promptly pushed away.

"Stop it, Mama."

That woke Leia up. She sat up bolt upright and came face to face with the little girl she'd only recently been introduced to. Jaina had been changed out of the pink frothy concoction from before and into a pair of pale blue pyjamas. She was clutching a humanoid plush doll with a purple dress and crown. Her eyes were wet and she was looking at Leia expectantly.

Unsure how to proceed, Leia hesitantly spoke up. "Hello Jaina. Is something the matter?"

Seeming to take that as an invitation, Jaina climbed onto the bed and pressed her little body close to Leia's before her mother could react.

"I had a nightmare." She was trembling, and Leia instinctively wrapped an arm around her to try to calm the small child. "The bad man was there."

This was not something Leia was equipped to deal with and she found herself floundering. "Well that's not good," she found herself saying awkwardly. "But the bad man's not here, is he? So there's nothing to be scared of." She wondered briefly whether 'the bad man' was a real person or one of those terrifying phantom figments that children dream up.

"Can I sleep in your bed?"

"Wouldn't you rather stay with your father?" She quickly stuttered, hoping that would present itself as a more attractive option for the little girl, but all Jaina did was turn up those big eyes at her balefully.

"I want to stay with you."

Well that was enough to hit Leia with a whole boatload of guilt to go along with the panic of having to emotionally comfort a child she didn't know. But it wasn't Jaina's fault the situation they were in. She was going to have to learn to be a mother at some point, and now was as good a time as any.

She relented. "You can stay here tonight."

"What about Princess Leia?" Jaina asked.

Leia stared at her in utter bafflement. "What?"

"My dollie," She clarified, none too delicately yanking the doll from where it had been squished between them. "Daddy told me that we're on Alderaan and the princess is called Leia, so my dollie is called Leia right now."

This was about 10 levels too weird for Leia. But then again, so was everything else in her life right now so she decided to let it slide.

"Princess Leia can stay too."

Reassured that she wouldn't be separated from her companion anytime soon, Jaina buried her head back in Leia's shoulder. The back of her head came into view, revealing the slightly loose braids her hair had been tied into. The attempt at a traditional hairstyle wasn't bad, but still far from the polish that came with years of practice.

"Who braided your hair, Jaina?"

She lifted her head and scrunched her nose. "Daddy. But he doesn't do it as good as you."

Leia laughed, but was at the same time quite touched. To all outer appearances, Han Solo appeared to be a grumpy and no-nonsense pilot. She would not have expected him to be the type to braid his little girl's hair as a nod to her mother's traditions.

She lightly ran her hand over the bumps of styled hair. "Would you like me to redo it?"

Jaina's face immediately brightened, and she damn near ran from the room only to come back a minute or two later, her little arms filled with hairbrushes and ties. The nightmare was forgotten as the mother and daughter participated in the age-old Alderaanian family tradition.

A little while later, Jaina was fast asleep but Leia was wide awake. She'd always struggled to sleep after being disturbed in the middle of the night. Well, that and Jaina had stretched her limbs as far as they could go on the small bed, leaving nowhere for Leia to fit. She didn't want to wake her up, but equally didn't want to have to deal with Han panicking in the morning when he couldn't find Jaina. It was likely for the best that she put her back into her own bed.

Carefully, Leia reached over the bed and gathered up the little girl in her arms, doing her best not to disturb her slumber. Either Jaina was used to this happening or was a deep sleeper, because she only slightly stirred as she was lifted. She was slightly heavier than expected, but then again Leia had very little experience with children, and she adjusted her grip as she carried the little girl from the room.

In the dark and dimly lit corridors of the Falcon, Leia craned her neck around, trying her best to remember where Jaina's room was in relation to hers. She walked down a route she vaguely remembered, only to stumble into a more brightly lit room that Han was quietly drinking in. Her appearance clearly startled him as he nearly knocked over his drink as he stood abruptly.

"She came to my cabin in the middle of the night," Leia explained quietly, "I was looking for her room."

"Let me." He eased Jaina out of her arms, and with her following, went down a different corridor. "Did she have a nightmare?"

"Yes, she mentioned a man?" He nodded acceptingly. Clearly, this was not the first time Jaina had been disturbed by this particular dream.

Han took Jaina into her room and gently laid her on the bed, tucking the sheets around her sleeping body. Leia still had the doll named after herself, and placed it by Jaina's side so it would be there when she woke up. She and Han left the room together, carefully shutting the door behind them.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asked, to which Leia nodded. "Me neither. I was having a whiskey, if you wanted to join me?"

Leia raised an eyebrow at him, and he flushed when he realised.

"We have aspoberry juice, if you wanted that instead," he said, "Jaina drinks it by the galleon."

"That sounds great." Leia was surprised but pleased. "I haven't had it in years, but I used to love it when I was a child."

"Huh…" Han shuffled uncomfortably, "Ami never mentioned that."

They went back to the room he had been in. He poured her a glass of juice, topped up his whiskey and they drank in silence for a while.

"Jaina told me she's named her doll after Princess Leia… is that a little strange for you considering everything?"

Han shook his head. "Her doll's name changes every time we go to a new planet with a monarchy, I was expecting it. I don't know if you've noticed yet, but she's pretty princess mad."

"It's a little hard to miss."

Leia didn't even want to think about what Jaina's reaction would be when the truth came out, or Han's for that matter. She knew that she would need to tell him, and that the longer she put it off the worse the outcome would be. But something kept holding her back. Their situation was precarious enough, and a revelation like that could tip things in the wrong direction. Would he treat her differently if he knew? How angry would he be once he knew she, and by extension Ami, had been keeping this from him for years?

"I don't suppose you can pull any strings to get her to meet a real princess?" Han asked drily.

This would have been the perfect opportunity, but Leia faltered.

The hesitation on her face must have showed because Han dismissively told her to "Forget it."

The atmosphere turned awkward, Leia finished her drink to keep her hands busy.

"Do you know have any idea about what we should do about me, you and Jaina." The question had preyed on her mind since Jaina had fallen asleep on her bed.

"I don't know…" Han admitted, "And I don't think it's going to be as simple as going back to the way things were."

"No. That won't work." Leia agreed.

"What is it that you want?" The subject had clearly been on his mind as well, he fidgeted with his glass. "If you decide you want to take Jaina away from me-"

"What?" Leia interrupted, stunned at the direction the conversation had suddenly turned. The idea had never even crossed her mind.

"I just want to make it clear, that it isn't happening, so if you were thinking it-"

"Why would I?" She demanded incredulously. "You've not given me any reason to take her away." Her assurances barely seemed to register.

"Look," he pointed a finger at her, "I knew Ami. I could guess what she would do. I don't know you, and for all I know you could have some crazy ideas in your head."

"I'm not an evil twin." Leia snapped back. By this point, his insistence at her motives had gone past the point of irritating her and had started to make her angry. "You keep going on as though Ami and I were totally different people, but we're not. I may not know why I did the things I did, but it was still me. And the sooner you get that through your thick skull, the better."

He looked as though he was going to retort something rude, so she cut him off before he could.

"I do not want to take Jaina from you." She said firmly. "She clearly adores you, and from what I've seen you're a good father. Separating you would be cruel and unnecessary."

She paused to let her words sink in. His hostile demeanour softened a little but not entirely, and he sat back in his seat, arms crossed.

"You've not answered my question though, what do you want?"

It looked as though he would not be satisfied until he heard an answer, so Leia decided to let him have it.

"What I want is to take things slow, and see how they develop. Especially with Jaina. What I want is for you to give me a chance and stop jumping between treating me like a friend and an enemy." She was getting really sick of it, the way one moment he was hugging her and making sure she was okay, and the next suspecting that she might try to steal his daughter away.

"And that's all?" He asked suspiciously.

"Yes," she affirmed, "for now at least." With time, things might change, but this seemed a good starting step.

"I think I can work with that." He grudgingly agreed.

"Do you think you can work with us being friends? For Jaina's sake?"

He nodded and refilled both their glasses. "To being friends." He toasted, and clinked his glass to hers.

Author's Note: So it turns out, a research PhD is super stressy and doesn't leave much time for writing (at least not the fictional kind). Going to see if I can make more time in the evenings, but not sure. I know that the events of next chapter are still pretty up in the air. I decided a while back that my original plan for it was a bit silly, so I need to rework it which usually means it won't be the easiest thing to write. Feel free to pester me on Tumblr to get it done if I'm taking too long, I have the same username there. Thanks everyone who's still reading despite my (increasingly) unpredictable update schedule.