Chapter 23: Body and Soul

Lenne touched a thin hand to Tidus's cheek, marveling at his likeness to the man she loved. "We've never met, yet I feel like I've known you forever."

Tidus looked from her to Shuyin with disbelief. "You came?"

"You called." The corner of the spirit's mouth slowly turned up in a wry smile." Okay, technically, you got ticked off, and I happened to be close enough that you yelled in my ear."

Still overwhelmed, Tidus saw no humor in the situation like Shuyin apparently did. "I don't want your memories."

"Then don't follow them."

"They're all over me here. I can't shake them!"

"Then leave. Is this your idea of asking for advice on something?" The spirit approached with a relaxed manner. "You know, I'd be amused at the idea of having an idiot little brother like you if it weren't for the fact that you're me."

Tidus put up his hands to keep him away. "I'm not you."

"Okay, you're not me. But you're based on a warped memory of me, and you're wearing my clothes." Shuyin slapped his hands out of his way and tried to touch the fabric of the shirt sleeve. "I never got to go back for those, you know. I thought they'd be at the bottom of the ocean."

Tidus stared at his hands. The slap had felt like a small breeze passing through him, but it was enough to push them away. He was surprised that the transparent spirit still had enough presence to make contact between worlds after having been sent. "They were in my locker."

"You mean my locker." Shuyin folded his arms and peered beneath his scruffy blond bangs at his doppelganger.

Lenne laughed behind her hand. "He's different, but he's still a lot like you, isn't he."

"Please. He's embarrassing. He's like every dorky personality glitch I ever had rolled into a brand new dork." But even Shuyin seemed amused at their similarities.

Tidus frowned at Shuyin's commentary all the same.

"Stop teasing him. He seems sweet," Lenne spoke with an assuring smile. Humor aside, however, she became concerned. "You go by Tidus, right? Why are you here?"

Looking into Lenne's eyes, he was at a loss for words for a moment. It felt like the first meeting with an ex-girlfriend that drifted away from the relationship. He blushed to realize how well he knew her, even though they'd just met. But when he found his voice once more, he explained the situation as best he could, including everything he could think of about his false sending, the thieves, and their desire to get Spira's sphere.

When he finished his story, Lenne looked to Shuyin with worry. "We should help."

"There's nothing we can do," he answered. "Those at rest have no power among the living. We can barely stay long enough to speak with him."

"But those thieves might harm Spira… and other worlds. And Yuna must be very worried, thinking he's been sent." Lenne gave him a lingering, pleading look.

Shuyin sighed and gave a small nod of concession. Then, he turned his attention back to Tidus. "If I were able to help, would you trust me?"

Tidus was doubtful. "You can get me out of here?"

"I think so."

He realized what Shuyin was suggesting. "Does it mean I have to let you…"

"I'll release you when it's over."

Tidus swallowed nervously at the thought of letting Shuyin possess his mind and body again. "Will I... still be me?"

"You'll probably gain some of my memories, like the first time we met. But I believe you're different enough from me to remain who you are. It's just that there may be no way to erase the knowledge of the past once you gain it." Shuyin tried to think of a better way to explain it and smiled lightly at the example that came to him. "Can you remember writing secret messages in lemon juice on a piece of blank paper when you were a kid?"

Tidus wondered what this had to do with anything, but the obscure childhood memory came to him as soon as it was spoken. "Holding it next to a candle made the message show up."

"If that paper were torn in half and new, different messages were written on each piece, the old message would still be there, right? We're kinda like that. Being here has put you too close to the candle, so you're beginning to see old writing under the new message. Once you know it's there, you can't make the old message go away. But you're writing a new message, making new memories without me. The old message won't change that."

"Except that it can. It's like Lenne said, I've never met her, yet I feel like I've known her all my life. I can't forget those memories now that they're back in my head."

"The alternative is to return to the Via Infinito for those thieves. You could die down there. You don't want both of us to die in Bevelle's dungeons, do you?"

"I don't want to lose this life. I don't want to lose Yuna."

"Then let me help you find a way back to her. You want to see her again, don't you?"

As Tidus weighed the consequences, indecision and fear gnawed at him. Moisture burned his eyes. "Yes," he answered with a broken voice.

"Then I need a way back into your world. I need a physical form." Shuyin took a step forward.

Tidus backed up a pace and held out his hands for the ghost to keep his distance, but he did not resist as Shuyin pressed his hands against his and blurred right into his body. Surrounded by pyreflies, Tidus drew a deep breath, and Shuyin was among the living once more.

The combined entity turned to Lenne with a more serious demeanor than before. "Go to Yuna. I'll take care of this end."

Lenne tilted her chin at the strange meld. He looked like Tidus, but it was Shuyin who spoke. "Let's hope Yuna is wearing my dress sphere or is somewhere I can reach." Giving him a light kiss, she faded amid the colorful particles of light that had given her temporary form.

Tidus touched his cheek where it felt, for a moment, as if a butterfly had brushed his skin.

))((

The Gullwings collected the thieves captured below the Zanarkand stadium and flew them to Bevelle. After that, they met with Baralai and updated him on what they had learned. There had been no word of Tidus reappearing in the Via Infinito yet. So, by the time Buddy started working on a new sonic platform map of the northeastern quadrant of the sunken ruins, it was late and everyone needed some rest. The search for Tidus would have to wait until morning. The Youth League volunteer soldiers set up tents under the stars, after chasing monkeys away from their chosen spots, and the Gullwings tucked into their red, metallic nest perched on the shore for the night.

In the early morning hours, though still dark, Yuna sat on the hill overlooking the ruins. She was waiting for the sun to show on the horizon, so the search could begin again. If Tidus wasn't in the Via Infinito, he had to be where Shuyin's influence would be the strongest, somewhere in that watery grave... supposing Nooj's theory was right.

In her over-sized nightshirt and fuzzy slippers, Rikku yawned and made her way up the hill to where Yuna sat. After draping Tidus's blanket across her cousin's shoulders, she passed her a bottled drink and sat down next to her. "I couldn't sleep, either. I would have warmed us some cocoa, but I didn't think I could carry it out here without spilling it." She tugged at the tab-twist opening of the drink but was unable to pull it out.

Yuna smiled at her cousin's offering and drew the blanket around herself to fend off the chilly air. The soft blanket still carried his scent - a mixture of soap, sun lotion, and cologne from taking so many showers after training and practice sessions. It did comfort her, but it also made his absence more obvious. Setting down the drink, she no longer felt thirsty.

"Don't worry, Yunie. Buddy will narrow down our search, and if they haven't found Tidus under Bevelle by then, we'll fish him out of the ocean here in no time flat."

"I miss him so much," Yuna whispered. A tear rolled down the inside line of her delicate nose. "I know that preventing Meimo and Kyudou from getting that sphere is more important, but... I'm so afraid of losing him again."

Rikku's brows rose with worry. "Now, now. Don't talk that way. We'll find him. You'll see."

Yuna leaned against Rikku's shoulder and buried half of her face in the blanket to cry.

Rikku looked down at her cousin, then blinked up at the fading moon, trying not to let the contagious emotion get the best of her. "Oh, Yunie, don't do that." Her voice rose two octaves until it was nearly a squeak as she tried to fight it and talk at the same time. "I brought out the drink and blanket to comfort you and everything so you wouldn't cry, and now you're going to cry anyway. And I can't keep doing this because it makes my eyes look all puffy and swollen. But I can't help it because I see you crying, and it just makes me... ugh!" Sighing in defeat, she rested her head on Yuna's and patted her back, sharing her sadness.

But as Yuna cried in her cousin's arms, she became aware of another presence. Pyreflies drew close, surrounding her like a magnet. Looking over her shoulder, she saw nothing, but she knew what she felt. "Lenne?"

Rikku lifted her head and sniffled. "What?"

"Lenne's spirit... She's here somewhere... nearby. It's very weak, but I can feel it."

"I don't see anything." Rikku looked at the pyreflies, but they were too thin for anything to take shape.

"Why would Lenne be trying to reach me?" While Yuna didn't mind the spirit's attempt to contact her, it did make her wonder what was wrong. She folded Tidus's blanket tighter around herself. Tidus and Lenne... Yuna wasn't so sure she wanted to see her, after all.

The spirit's presence began to drift away.

"Wait! I don't understand why you came!" Yuna called to the pyreflies as they rose away from her. She immediately wished she had not chased her away. She knew she should apologize for not wanting to see her. It was pointless to be jealous of a thousand-year-old spirit, wasn't it?

))((

Just before dawn, when Meimo and Kyudou reappeared in the submerged houseboat, they found Tidus asleep on the training mat. None of the spheres looked as if they had been touched. "Apparently, he means to defy us." Meimo's tight top-knot was undone now, but looser locks did nothing to lessen the severity in his sharp green eyes. Striding forward, he gave the blitzball player's ribs a kick. "Wake up." Grabbing the back of Tidus's shirt, he pulled him upright.

Tidus groaned and winced at the awful awakening, but sat up.

Meimo walked a circle around him, studying him closely.

Tidus's angry eyes followed every move.

"How did you sleep?" the summoner finally asked.

"Fine, until you came in."

"Stand up."

"You didn't say the magic word," Tidus retorted.

"Now." Meimo kicked him once more.

In one swift motion, the blitzball player rose to his feet and clenched the collar of the summoner's robes in tight fists. "Kick me again, and your head's going to find out how a blitzball feels at the end of a bad day," he calmly warned.

Kyudou's stormy eyes studied Tidus with keen interest. "Let him go."

Tidus pushed the summoner back but continued to glare at him.

"Back away, Meimo," Kyudou coolly instructed his summoner.

Meimo scowled right back at Tidus and dusted the wrinkles from his layers of robes, but he backed away from their hostage.

Drawing closer to Tidus, Kyudou noted the subtle change in his eyes. "I think it worked." The leader of the Echo Alliance allowed himself a genuine smile.

"Of course it worked." Tidus's face and voice shifted slightly to reveal a ghostly possession - two nearly identical layers of himself. "Be careful what you ask for. You just might get it."

Kyudou was stunned at the subtle transformation as Shuyin's persona physically solidified over Tidus's. "Quickly! Send him to the Via Infinito!" he told Meimo. "Shuyin, this is exactly what you need to do with Spira. If you possess her, you can make her reveal the location of the travel log!"

Meimo lifted his staff to begin his teleportation spell.

Shuyin focused his dark glare on the summoner and cast his own maddening magic. The summoner cried out in anguish, and grabbed his head. "No! NO! Get him away from me!"

Kyudou's eyes widened. "What are you doing! Release him at once!"

"Or what? He'll send me?" Shuyin countered. "You aren't the one who summoned me, so you can't control me. Shame on you for wanting me to attack Lady Spira to steal her secret maps."

Kyudou drew his sword and lunged toward Shuyin. The blitzball player dodged the strike and ran for the door. Possessed of Shuyin's spell, Meimo used his bladed rod to strike out at Kyudou and sliced through fabric to flesh. Kyudou turned on his companion just in time to block a second attack. Shuyin then cast the same maddening spell over Kyudou.

Struggling against an overwhelming urge to attack his companion, the guild leader made himself put away his sword and tried to back away from his summoner. Shuyin shook his head at Kyudou's strength of will and focused more intrusive magic into him until an involuntary blizzaga spell formed on the guild leader's lips and fingertips. With the last ounce of his own will, however, Kyudou turned toward Shuyin. The blast hit Shuyin, as well as the door and wall behind him, freezing it in a solid sheet of ice.

Meimo slashed toward Kyudou's back, opening another large wound in the guild leader's body. Kyudou couldn't resist the magical madness boiling inside of him any longer. Though he protested with a loud cry, he focused his next spell on his friend.

It had been a long time since Shuyin felt any physical pain - since he had felt anything physical, for that matter. The ice shard in his thigh made him gasp and grimace, nearly crippling his plans, but with Meimo and Kyudou fighting each other, Shuyin threw his weight against the door. He had hoped it could be easily broken, but the ice fortified any weakness that developed over time. The situation began to seem hopeless, and he was about to give up when a dose of determination surged through him.

We have to get out of here! Keep trying! Tidus's intuition urged.

Gritting his teeth, Shuyin pulled the ice shard from of his thigh, ignored the throbbing wound, and sought anything around the room that might aid his escape. While Kyudou and Meimo continued to fight, he limped toward a small stool and took it to the large bay window on his right. With as much strength as he could muster, he slammed the stool against the ancient glass. Several hits were needed, but the window eventually cracked. Water began to stream through - first a little, then a lot. As the ocean poured into the little boathouse, Shuyin slammed the stool into the glass one more time. The stool broke, but the entire window shattered under pressure. Incoming seawater pushed him, Meimo, and Kyudou against the other side of the room.

Leaving the two Echo Alliance thieves to fend for themselves, Shuyin swam through the broken window outside the boat to the fallen pier. In the dark, freezing water, he groped his way through the maze of barnacle-and-algae-covered concrete and squeezed through narrow passages between thick, broken slabs to fight his way to the surface. The glowing eyes of sea fiends drew near following the scent of blood from his leg, so he paused long enough to cast a few more confusion spells toward them. Then he swam fast and hard through the sunken ruins.

When he finally broke the surface, a sharp breath drew air into his lungs. He blinked the saltwater from his eyes. Spotting the Celsius in the distance, he kicked back under and swam toward the shore.

))((

"Yunie! Look!" Rikku pointed to the water. Above the reflective surface, against the sunrise in the painted sky, a small light-colored object bobbed toward them with steady speed. "Maybe Lenne was trying to tell us he was on his way!"

Standing, Yuna focused on the advancing object. Was it him? Could it be? She held her breath, waiting impatiently for the object to draw near. But as soon as she saw his mop of golden hair, she dropped the blanket, jumped down from the ledge and ran to meet him. "Tidus!"

))((

Shuyin swam until his feet touched land, then he waded through the shallow water until Yuna closed the distance and threw her arms around his neck. She was so overjoyed her hug nearly squeezed any remaining air from his lungs. "Yuna..." He coughed up seawater and shivered beneath her as she clung to him. "I'm..." He coughed again.

Pulling back, she surveyed his ragged condition and helped him the rest of the way onto dry land, where he collapsed on his hands and knees to catch his breath.

"I'm glad you're here," he said between labored breaths. But when he lifted his chin to explain what had happened, he received a warm, stunning kiss.

When he wasn't eager to return the sentiment, Yuna sensed something was wrong and sat back on her heels, worried. "You look so pale." Her fingers traced his brow, cheekbones, jawline as she noted his condition and injuries. But then a visible sense of dread washed over her expression. Shaking her head in disbelief, she stood and backed away.

Shuyin shivered with the shock of cold and fatigue for the first time in a thousand years, but he made himself stand. "It's not what you think."

Her eyes widened. "Where's Tidus?"

"He's here."

"Where?" she demanded.

"Here. With me." He patted his chest with both hands, but he could tell that only increased her fear. "He asked me to help, but I can give him back to you now." Shuyin closed his eyes and imagined himself leaving Tidus's body. Usually, all he had to do was separate from the mind of his host and walk away. But when he searched for a point of division, he saw only himself. He knew where he ended, but he had no idea where Tidus began. Reaching into Tidus's memories, he only found himself locked out.

Yuna watched and waited, anxious. "This is why Lenne came to me, isn't it? She knew about this. What have you done to Tidus? Shuyin, please release him," she begged.

"I'm trying."

"Then why isn't it working?"

"I don't know." Shuyin touched his arms, unable to figure out why he was still trapped in Tidus's skin. "Is it because he's part of me? Or is it because his body's not real? It worked in Guadosalam's Farplane, but I guess that was a shorter -"

"Shuyin, how could you!" More distraught than ever, Yuna tore away from him to run back to the airship.

"Yuna!" In spite of his weariness, he jogged after her. "Yuna, wait!"

Rikku was cleaning up where they had been sitting. "Wait! What's the matter?" she asked as her cousin raced past.

Still tired from his underwater escape, Shuyin slowed down at Rikku's side to catch his breath again.

Utterly bewildered, Rikku draped his blanket around his shoulders to warm his chills. "I can't believe she ran away like that. What is wrong with her? She's been one soggy noodle since we thought you were a goner." She gave him a hug. "Well, I'm glad to see you."

Shuyin accepted the blanket and hug but his attention remained glued to Yuna's flight. "Thanks, but..." Apologetic, he pulled away from Rikku and ran up the ramp into the airship. Just outside of the cabin, he caught up to Yuna and snagged her by the arm. "Tidus is still here. I swear it."

She snapped her arm out of his grasp. "Then release him!"

Shuyin stared at her tear-streaked face, and words almost failed him. "I want to, but… I can't."

"You can't because the pieces of your soul came back together. Is that it? Because that means the only one left is you! Well, I don't want you! I want him! And I want him the way he used to be!"

"Yuna, he's still here! Look at me!" He pleaded with her. "I'm him."

"No, you're not! I don't care how much you look like him! You are not the person I love!" Breaking away again, she ran through the cabin up the stairs to her bed and fell onto her pillow, crying.

Half of his heart felt as if it had shattered all over again.

Now what? he asked himself.

Keep trying, his instinct answered.