Fryestone… Again

ROLAND: So… we had an eventful wake up call this morning. In the form of a bandit raid rolling into the station in an armored train.

BRICK: Best. Morning. Ever.

LILITH: You know, in hindsight, that was a really bad idea on their part. Cause we aren't the only people living here. And most of the people who dare to 'vacation' on Pandora are badasses like us. And they weren't any happier about being woken up by gunfire then we were.

ROLAND: Clearing out the attackers took a while, but that was mostly because everyone was fighting for the right to kill them first. Anyway, once they were dealt with we headed off to Scorched Snake Canyon to find the reprogramming device, called WIRED. Which is actually wireless… because the marketing team at Hyperion are idiots.

MORDECAI: I mean, they're the ones that sell a legendary submachine gun with the title of 'The Bitch'.

LILITH: Hey, don't you be mocking my Bitch! It's my precious baby and it is a good gun with a good name, you hear me!

MORDECAI: You are weirdly protective of that gun, Lils.

LILITH: What can I say, I like smgs. A lot.

BRICK: About as much as I like rocket launchers.

ROLAND: Anyway, the canyon was a lengthy but simple journey. We fought skags, spider ants, rak and claptraps in varying orders until we reached the facility warehouse where the WIRED device was stored. And who should we meet while we were but a resurrected Steele.

LILITH: You know, you probably shouldn't have been laughing at her so much. It made her really want to kill you.

ROLAND: Don't care, it was just too funny. So, uh, to explain what I was laughing at, she was resurrected just like Knoxx and Ned, but… something about the way the Destroyer damaged her made it so that the hole it stabbed in her stomach remained when her body was restored. So the hole had to be covered up by metal plating.

MORDECAI: It was kinda funny, especially the way she was freaking out about it.

ROLAND: Anyway, since she was resurrected she lacked her siren powers, so she was easy to take down. Barely put up more of a fight than the Crimson Assassin teams did. Soon after we searched the workshop and got the WIRED device, which is still weirdly named. "Wireless Information Router Encoding Device." Heck, even Blake agreed the name was stupid.

LILITH: INAC thought it didn't matter at first because of the name, until we told him it was wireless. Even the bad guy who is weak to it thought it was stupid.

ROLAND: Anyway, on the way back we did another favor for Marcus, killing some skags and a rak hive to get materials for… cologne of all things.

MORDECAI: It's a good smell man, don't knock it. Moxxi likes it.

ROLAND: You remember that Marcus is Moxxi's 3rd husband, right?

MORDECAI: Doesn't mean I can't agree with his choice in cologne.

ROLAND: Okay then… either way I have no idea how the claptraps converted a rak hive, but they did, and that thing was even more of a bullet sponge than the living one we fought on the Trash Coast, but it wasn't much of a threat. We returned to Blake, who uploaded the reset protocol on to the WIRED and then sent us after INAC himself. We made our way to the Wayward Pass, which leads over the mountains to the Arid Badlands, and where INAC made a boss rush for us to deal with.

LILITH: Wait… you know what a boss rush is?

ROLAND: Yes, of course. I played a lot of Circle of Duty when I was with the Lance, so I'm familiar with the term.

LILITH: You're a gamer?

ROLAND: I mean yes… somewhat.

LILITH: I love you.

ROLAND: W-what?

LILITH: Roland, we should totally date some time.

ROLAND: What!?

MORDECAI: [uproarious laughter]

BRICK: About time you two hooked up.

ROLAND: I don't, you… What?

LILITH: Wait, were you shipping us?

BRICK: Just a little bit. Bit weird to do it with friends who aren't together… yet.

ROLAND: I… I can't deal with this now, let me finish the log.

LILITH: Yeah, we should do that.

ROLAND: Right, so, Wayward Pass. Boss Rush. We fought Knoxx, Undead Ned, and Steele in that order, and none of them were a significant challenge for us at this point. INAC tried to taunt us the whole way, but we mostly ignored him. Eventually we made it through the pass and arrived on the edge of Fryestone… when INAC was waiting for us.

MORDECAI: Okay, I'm not alone here when I ask where in the holy fuck did he get that stupid mecha thing?

LILITH: Yeah no, we need to ask that question. Who or what made that thing?

BRICK: Uh, guys? That's a standard issue Hyperion Assault Tank.

LILITH: Wait seriously?

BRICK: Yeah, nothing special about it. I've fought a couple before, they're nothing unique.

MORDECAI: Roland, is that true?

ROLAND: Yes, they've been around for a while now. The Lance tended to deal with them by gathering a squad of Lancers and tearing them apart at long range. They also have a significant weakness to corrosive weapons, which is why I recommended you use them.

LILITH: Well. Huh. That explains why it went down so easy.

ROLAND: Yeah, they're something of an outdated design at this point. Too much weakness to corrosive due to their size for the amount of armor and weight. Last I heard Hyperion is considering switching from treads to walkers in the future. More fitting for their operation type. Anyway, once the tank, which INAC tried to pass off as his 'mega form', was destroyed the claptrap himself went down pathetically easy. Then we activated the WIRED and he returned to his old, friendly, obnoxious self. I almost felt bad, given how scared INAC sounded as he was overwritten, but he was too dangerous to leave as he was, so it had to be done. Anyway, we stopped by in Fryestone to say hi to Zed and warped back to Tartarus Station to speak with Blake. Blake was… oddly happy that we had done the job, giving us access to Hyperion's… 'reward room'.

LILITH: Never before have I seen so many purple rarity weapons and gear in one place.

MORDECAI: There were multiple legendaries in there, guys! Like, a LOT of them!

BRICK: It was truly glorious. Like loot from a dream.

ROLAND: So yeah, now all of us have probably the best gear we could reasonably ask for in doing… pretty much anything at this point. The only way to get better stuff would be to invent it at this point.

MORDECAI: GUYS! HOLY SHIT! IF YOU CLOSE THE CHESTS AND REOPEN THEM THEY HAVE MORE LOOT!

LILITH: Wait what?!

MORDECAI: No shit, look!

ROLAND: Okay, I'm going to sign off now. I may have the best stuff I could ever ask for, but that's no reason not to ask again. Roland's log, signing off.