She lay in bed beside him, her memory vividly detailing over that encounter they'd had all those years ago. She knew it now, but that feeling between them back then was possibly something more than just sentiment but it had taken all this time for them to fully realise it. Rolling over from her back to her side, she lay face to face with him in the dark. He was sound asleep and looked the most at peace he had in a while, her eyes rolled over his features studiously. He hadn't changed much, he still had that wistful look, and those deep brown eyes of course. She smiled a little to herself, reaching her hand up she rested it where she normally would when they were kissing deeply. Right on the side of his neck, just below his ear as her thumb lay across his cheek and jawline. Her fingers immersed in his dark hair at the back of his head. That was perhaps the only change, the few speckles of grey hair he was sporting now. Her eyes moved slowly over his facial structures, her thumb stroking over his cheek soothingly. Everything he'd said to Grace earlier was true, having him by her side was helping more than she could ever explain. There was a feeling of content between their bodies as she smiled tranquilly before starting to move her hand away. Before she could get too far, his own hand came up to rest over hers reassuringly, almost as if he could tell exactly what she was thinking about.
"I told you, I'm not going anywhere this time."
Physically, he wasn't going anywhere. But mentally and emotionally, he was still very much absent. Truth be told, she was obviously not the touchy, feely, lovey-dovey type of of woman but even still it was beginning to affect them. Her fear didn't lay only with her own feelings any more but Grace's too since she knew about their relationship now. She was still getting used to seeing her parents together and Connie didn't want to jeopardise her daughter's health and happiness with her current state of wellness. Unsurprisingly, she had gotten extremely unwell after being out in the rain during her temper tantrum, he temperature reaching a dangerous height the next day and thus landing her in hospital yet again. She stayed in for just under three weeks and was back home again. The Strachans rallied around her, which initially bothered Connie but seeing how happy it made Grace to have so many visitors and people who loved her, she soon warmed to the fact that this is how it would be now and maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all. Sam was still on an awful emotional rollercoaster, Emma was refusing to speak to him again. She was still in the UK and had organised a memorial for her stillborn child, she wasn't cruel enough to deny Sam the right to attend and thus that was another difficult day for them all. It sounded so, so heartless but Connie couldn't wait for all of this pain and heartbreak to become numb for him. He was like a lost soul.
"You couldn't sleep either?" His voice wasn't much more than a whisper as he approached her from behind. It was only twenty past six in the morning, he'd been struggling to sleep all night and awoke to find her missing from the bed. They were at his parents large holiday cottage, she'd protested at the mentioning of it since both his parents and his sister would be staying for the weekend also but Grace was absolutely over the moon about the idea. Thus, trying to keep her as happy as she could, she agreed to go. They'd managed to bag the best room in the extremely large country cottage, followed by his parents who took the second largest room, leaving Grace and Ryan to share the kids room and Sally with the spare single bedroom. She couldn't believe how peaceful it was here, the curtains were open, the sun rising behind the green countryside and the sound of birds outside instead of rush hour traffic and sirens. She was wrapped in the white fluffy dressing gown provided with their room, shielding her bare body from the cool air near the window. She was leaning against the windowsill, just gazing tranquilly.
"No, I was too restless." Her words came out whispered, almost as if talking with volume was an effort. "I've been up for a while."
"You okay?" His breath was warm on the back of her neck, wrapping his arms around her and joining in with her gazing through the glass panes. She melted into his embrace, allowing his hands to sneak under hers on her bump as she settled hers atop of his.
"Fine." She smiled, enjoying the small yet sweet kiss he planted on her neck. "She's just extremely mobile this morning, kept me awake half the night too." And by mobile she by no means meant kicking, there was none of that yet. Just the intense sort of fluttering and quickening.
"You mean-" He let go of her slowly, moving to face her. "You mean she's been moving?" His brows did that thing where they raised and met in the middle, a look of pure wonder on his face. She licked her lips, avoiding his eyes as she nodded. "You never mentioned it." His words were breathy with a mixture of emotion and joy, replacing his hands on her bump again.
"Well, it just sort of seemed insensitive. There was never a good time, you know, with everything that's happened." She finally locked eyes with him, he looked guilty, sad, happy and in shock all at once. After a few moments of no response she put her hands over his again, gaining his attention. "Sometimes it's like you're not really here."
"I am-"
"I know." She cooed softly. "I know you are but you sometimes seem like you're off on another planet, Sam." Her eyes flickered over his as he looked down at their hands sadly. She wasn't being underhand or abrasive, she was merely stating facts. Hence why he didn't respond with anger but regret.
"How long has she been moving for?" He asked shyly, a question he should already know the answer to as with normal couples it's a milestone they both share together.
"A couple of weeks, mostly at night time." She studied him for a little while before moving one of her hands to his arm, rubbing it gently. She could see he was in turmoil. "Look, I'm sorry, I should have mentioned it-"
"No, no." He muted her quickly. "You shouldn't have to, I should have asked, I should be involved in all of these moments but instead I'm just-" He huffed at himself irritably. "I don't know what I am, just existing at the moment, or that's what it feels like anyway."
"You've been through a lot these last couple of weeks, we all have." She glanced down, her worries for Grace plagued her nearly all day every day so she couldn't imagine how Sam was coping with not only this but the breakdown of a relationship as a result of another, and now the loss of his unborn son.
"That's no excuse, and I won't use it as one for any longer." He tensed his jaw, talking firmly to himself. "I've been going on and on about not missing out on another child's life yet here I am being absent during the whole pregnancy." He nodded vigorously. "That ends here and now." His hands moved from her bump, to her hips as he leaned down slowly and initiated a kiss. She accepted without hesitation.
As per usual with them, one thing led to another. But this time it was slow-burning. It wasn't a rushed sexual encounter like they were used to, sometimes they both had to remind themselves that this was it now, they weren't sneaking around anymore. They could enjoy these moments and take time in doing so. Perhaps it was the change in environment as well? They were out of the toxically suffocating air they'd been cooped up in for weeks, this time away would do all three of them some good. But right now, all of that had very temporarily taken the backseat. Having found herself seated on the windowsill, her bare back was taking the brunt of the cold glass of the window as he skin pressed up against it. Her arms had wriggled free from her dressing gown, causing the fluffy fabric to collect around her bump, her chest open to him as his hands smoothed up and down her outer thighs. Her own hands had initially been on his waist, his skin warm to touch having not been out of bed long. As their kissing deepened, she'd moved one palm up to the side of his neck, rubbing at it gently as her thumb stroked over his jawline. He loved when she did that. His body inched closer to hers, resting between her parted legs he was helped along as she wrapped one of her calves around his upper leg, pulling him closer.
Their soft yet deep kissing was momentarily interrupted as they both glanced down, awaiting that powerful bodily union. Their panted breaths halted for a fraction of a second with anticipation, followed by relief-filled, satisfied moans from both of them as he was finally inside her. His was more of a muted exhale, whilst hers escaped with a soft moan. The hand she'd placed on his waist moved slowly out to the surface of the extremely large windowsill beside her, steadying herself as he began rolling into her. She kept a firm grip on his neck, her leg still wrapped around him and securing their connection. The kiss once again breaking for air, her head tilting back onto the widow pain and allowing her laboured breaths to break free without hinderance. She was hyperaware of their surroundings but trying to keep a lid on her pleasure-filled breaths was proving to be quite difficult, as for Sam, he was enjoying this feeling far too much to care about whether or not anyone heard. It was a huge cottage, with old, thick walls. Surely that would have them covered. He was revelling in every single stroke into her, every breath she panted at his movement, every arch of her back as the pleasure began to mount within. His hand had come to rest under the thigh she'd so desperately wrapped around him, his mouth on her neck, kissing and sucking at her skin softly. His lips were travelling down slowly, now nipping at her clavicle before descending further, to the middle of her bare chest. Teasing her awfully, he slowed his hip movements down as he attempted to enjoy every second, trying to draw out this feeling. She exhaled loudly, protesting at the slowing down as her head tilted forward to look at him again. She was breathing heavily, her body now bucking to meet his whilst her eyebrows pulled together in a pained manner. Her mouth was agape and her grip on the side of his neck tightened considerably, she was obviously on the edge of climaxing when he decided to slow the pace, ultimately preventing her orgasm. She let out another audible pant, frustrated at the feeling but he stopped tonguing at her chest to move his head level with hers, their eyes connecting as he came to face her. Their noses only centimetres apart as he rolled his hips so agonisingly slowly for both of them. Both of his palms were now flat on the windowsill either side of her, his right hand on top of hers. He squeezed it tightly, their breaths hitting each other in the small gap between their parted lips.
The look between them was mirrored, obviously pleasure-tainted but their eyes were sad and full of pent up emotion. They remained this way for only a couple more strokes, until her brows knitted together again, her mouth allowing a louder mewl to escape as she once again rolled her own hips against him, begging with her movements for him to speed things up again. They enjoyed a different connection this time, his decision to drag things out had benefited. Their hands remained in a tight grip with one another as he finally did as she silently asked. Allowing his own panting to become more audible, he pulled away from her face and quickened his hip movements, her head tilted back immediately, exposing her neck and throat as he resumed his lips to where they'd left off, kissing all over her decolletage. He didn't think she could tighten her grip on him anymore than she already had but with his faster movement her vocality increased, pained and urgent moans hitting the air as her whole body tensed and released with possibly one of the most intense climaxes she'd ever experienced. In between his own moans, upon feeling her tightening around him, he couldn't help but smile lazily into her chest at her body quivering with the aftershock as she continued to ride out the feeling in complete and utter euphoria. She moved her head back down to look at the top of his hair, watching as his tongue flicked over her chest hungrily. Her breathing was a complete mess, her chest rising and falling erratically with the passing pleasure. Continuing to watch him feast on the flesh of her chest and breasts, he glanced up again, his face coming up to meet hers as he continued to buck into her. Her lips were still parted with the pleasure, her eyes watering after such a consuming feeling. She was left trembling and fighting back emotions. The look on her face invited him to initiate another deep kiss, an act intended to pacify her as he too felt himself getting closer to climaxing. She'd never heard him vocalise the feeling of an orgasm quite as loudly as he did this morning, but she liked it a lot. He pulled away from the kiss, burying his face into the side of her neck. Her face twisted with the sensation as he jerked his movements for a few more seconds, exhaling into her skin loudly as he took his turn to ride out the pleasure. Their strained breathing, combining in the air together as they recovered from their sexual high.
He gave her hand a squeeze, silently asking if she was okay, her delicate and exhausted moan told him she was but he removed his face from the nook of her neck regardless. Facing her yet again, he used his other hand to softly wipe away the tear rolling down her cheek before kissing her softly. She greeted the action warmly, her hand hadn't left the side of his neck once and it still remained there as she stroked at his jaw sweetly, enjoying the passionate lip-lock they were now experiencing.
She felt like they'd lost themselves recently, the connection they'd had. Another worry that had been plaguing her mind non-stop as of late, that perhaps this had all been a huge mistake, a waste of time and heartbreak but this morning had just completely cast that worry aside and laid part of her mind to rest.
Morning sex had never been so good.
Out in the garden, Colin had glanced up and almost choked on his coffee before attempting to avert his eyes from her back pressed up against the window. He shook his head as he looked away quickly, swallowing the last of his coffee before setting the mug down and shoving his hand back into his gardening glove.
"None of my business, none of my business at all." Exhaling sharply her grabbed his shovel again and began digging at the flowerbed he was in the middle of moving. Luckily nobody else in the house got up at this hour, and thus their little sex session was witnessed by only himself, but he wanted to miss the rain that was forecast for the rest of the day. He was a discreet man though, this would never be spoken of or brought up with anyone. He avoided confrontation and embarrassment at all cost, thus their indiscretion was safe with him.
"Have you thought of any names yet?" Audrey asked inquisitively between taking bites of her toast. They were all gathered around the kitchen table, Connie and Sam wearing a little more clothing than the last time Colin witnessed them earlier that morning.
"Uh, no, actually." Connie smiled slightly uncomfortably. "I haven't even given it any thought yet." The idea daunted her slightly, she was past the halfway mark in her pregnancy now yet still hadn't thought of any names. She'd be entering her third trimester in less than a couple of weeks and felt rather unprepared in all honesty.
"Me either." Sam smiled, trying to ease the stilted conversation. "Do you have any suggestions, Gracie?" Their eyes fell upon young Grace, who looked completely shattered this morning. Connie had been keeping a close eye on her since she got up, her appearance was that of an exhausted and frail young child. The fight was still in her but for how much longer, she feared she didn't know.
"I like Eve." She smiled weakly, inviting Sam and Connie to share a worried glance,
"Eve." Sam finally repeated, nodding in approval as he thought about it. "Yeah, has a ring to it. Gracie and Evie." He gave her back a much needed rub before kissing her on the head. "How'd you sleep last night?"
"I feel like I didn't." She sighed sadly, not particularly enjoying everyone's sympathetic eyes on her. She was very much like her Mother in that respect.
"Everyone is going out later, maybe we can stay here and watch a film together?" He waited until the table had moved on to another conversation before talking to her again, with the exception of Connie who was very much tuned into their conversation as well. His mouth turned up into a smile as soon as he saw her smiling too with a small nod.
"So you'll really call her Eve?" Grace smiled up at her Mother, the three of them were sprawled comfortably on the large squishy settee in the cozy living room. As Colin had suspected, the rain came in around midday just as he and the rest of the family headed out for the day, leaving Connie, Sam and Grace to enjoy the afternoon alone.
"Well, so far it's the only name on the list, so it's winning by miles." She smiled, placing her hand on her daughter's beanie clad head. She was laying between her parents, curled up with her feet on Sam's lap and her head cushioned comfortably on Connie's bump. She felt Sam's hand come to lay on Grace's shoulder, his fingers brushing against hers gently as her palm remained sat protectively on the side of Grace's head. Stroking at her skin he encouraged her to look his way as Grace became engrossed in the film. Offering her a comforting smile, he allowed himself to feel genuinely happy for the first time in months. This was his family and he'd die to protect them.