Yes, I know, it took a long time – again. But finally here it is: a new chapter.

Enjoy!

Wintersend 23

It was a good thing Fenris had a firm hold on Marian's arms because her knees suddenly went dangerously wobbly. She stared wide-eyed at him. 'I – I, what? I, eh … I… that can't be,' was the only stuttered, not too bright comment she could manage. Her head was reeling.

In his gloomy corner of the tent Anders choked on a sip of water and started to cough ostentatiously. He was ignored.

Fenris sat Marian down on the camp-bed again (he thought the Inquisition went on campaign in a near decadently luxurious way). 'Forgive me, I believe I brought the message home rather bluntly.' He was still flabbergasted that he had to be the one to point out she was carrying their child, but he was more than willing to believe she really had known nothing about it. Her eyes were too wide, her stammering was too genuine. Besides that, lying came not easy to her, especially not to him, and she was a lousy actress.

'Brought the message home?!' exclaimed Anders dramatically. 'You smacked her right in the face with it!'

'Would you please shut up!' Fenris snapped irritably. 'I'm trying to have a conversation with my woman. This isn't about you, for once.'

All the while Marian stared nonplussed into nothing, her hands resting idly in her lap. 'I don't understand.'

'What is there to understand?' Anders shrilled, near to hysterics.

Resolutely Fenris turned around, walked over to the mage, took him briskly by an arm and frogmarched him out of the tent. He parked him next to the entrance, more or less hidden behind Hawke's mare. 'Don't move and keep out of sight, for your own sake,' he growled. The thought hit him that it looked as if he was handling a dangerous pet he had illegally smuggled into the country, one that nobody should know about.

'Are you leaving me here?' Anders piped up unhappily. 'At the mercy of the wolves?' He sobered up with speed.

He still felt wretched, which had little to do with Hawke's apparent pregnancy. He didn't doubt Fenris's observation for a second and the conclusion didn't bother him. The elf had been right; it was ridiculous neither Marian nor he hadn't even slightly been aware that she was expecting. Then again, he had been mighty preoccupied, as had she, he presumed. He wasn't able to stop the thoughts that kept tumbling through his mind.

Several years ago his life had taken a turn for the worst and it hadn't improved much since then. He had the feeling he had been lurking in the dark for a long time, that he only had awoken from a black dream after Justice had taken his leave. He had once said to Hawke he and Justice, or rather Vengeance by then, were too much intertwined. Right now he was certain that idea was planted in his mind by Justice himself, considering the easy way they got separated. The spirit had been acting like a leech from the time he had merged with him, that much was now clear to him. Worse even, a leech that had been busy poisoning his brain for a very long time. And he really, really didn't know what to do to put his actions from back then right again. He bit his lip. He couldn't think of anything or any method to repair the damage he had done. He could still hear the screams of abhorrence and see the debris of the explosion bombarding the city. The years hadn't lessened the sounds and images; if anything, they had become louder and clearer, especially of late. It exhausted him.

Fenris, in the meantime, immediately regretted his rash action of hauling the mage outside, for his sharp elven hearing caught the indignant sounding voice of an agitated woman from a few tents down the road. Venhedis!

'I want to know who that man is, Leliana! I have a right to know! Why is he riding at the rear of the column hooded and cloaked as though he has to hide his identity?! Is this man a danger?! Tell me!'

There was no doubt this was a very testily Cassandra Pentaghast. Fenris supposed he should be grateful it wasn't the Iron Lady but this was already bad enough.

'He is just a Grey Warden, Cassandra,' came the soothing answer of Leliana, full of confidence she would calm the other woman down, 'but a Grey Warden who happens to have inside intelligence and you know how important that can be.'

'Then why isn't he riding with the other Grey Wardens?'

Fenris could almost hear Cassandra stubbornly stick out her chin.

'Because I need him alive and preferably undamaged and we can't predict the behaviour of his brethren were they to find out he's ready to spill their secrets. Besides that, he may have the intention to flee and we can't have that, can we.'

Fenris grimaced. He had to give it to the Spymaster she was very creative with the truth but at least no one could deny that Anders indeed was a Grey Warden. And perhaps not even that he had valuable information. On the other hand, he was fairly certain Anders was not planning his escape.

'If he is so important then I will guard him,' Cassandra said firmly.

Fenris heard the sudden rustle of cloth, as if Leliana made an impatient gesture with her arm. But her voice sounded calm when she answered. 'No, Cassandra. We want him to travel anonymously under the lee of the rear-guard of the army, in case some of his brothers in arms get funny ideas. I'd rather bring him to Skyhold unscathed and you must admit Fenris makes for an excellent protector.'

The excellent protector didn't wait for the reaction from the passionate, fiery warrior. Without further ado he dragged Anders back inside. 'Throwing you at just the wolves is one thing,' he growled, 'but I won't let the blood-thirsty she-wolves loose on you.'

Meekly Anders retook his low stool in the corner of the tent and sank down sullenly.

Marian was still sitting on the cot with a faraway expression on her face. She had laid a hand on her stomach and looked up at Fenris with an apologetic smile. 'Now I can sense it,' she said, 'I really don't understand why I didn't before. It's so obvious.'

Fenris sat down next to her and took her other hand in his. He gave her his trademark crooked smile. 'I can make one or two educated guesses at why,' he said mildly.

Hawke let out a hollow laugh. 'To think that during all those past years I was reluctant to put a child onto this world because of all the troubles we kept blundering into. And now I get pregnant in a time that's more perilous than ever.' She supressed a shiver.

Lovingly Fenris put his arms around her. Out of a habit of years he nearly absentmindedly started to twirl a lock of her hair around his finger while he said, 'And if you had taken the decision to have a child earlier, we now would have a toddler in tow to guide through all the dangers. I don't know what I'd prefer.'

The "you" in his sentence stung and made her feel guilty. 'I never gave you the chance to prefer anything,' she said contritely. 'How did you find out?'

Fenris shrugged slightly. 'Your behaviour,' he said evasively. He didn't want to bring up his years with Danarius. He had witnessed plenty of pregnancies during that time. Danarius had considered it a cheap and easy way to expand the amount of slaves. But he didn't want to tell Marian how he had come to recognise the signs. Not at this moment.

Marian knew him well enough to guess the truth behind his short explanation; no need to press for more information. And then she heaved her head; a little defiance shimmered in her eyes. 'Did you truly think I would keep this from you?' At the same time a hint of tears wove through her voice.

Ah, a touch of mood swing, Fenris thought. He let out a small sigh. 'No. But, knowing you, you'd be waiting for the opportune moment. And since, as I've experienced at first-hand, you appear mighty indecisive when it comes to having children and related subjects, I feared you'd wait, or be in denial, until your belly would give you away.'

Marian started to chuckle. 'You're probably right. What a surprise that would have been!' She rested her head on his shoulder and he resumed playing with her hair. 'Typical,' she said after a short silence.

'What is?'

'One time, just one time I don't take those herbs and you hit home immediately. What are the odds!'

Fenris frowned slightly. 'Why didn't you take them?'

'Why would I? I wasn't expecting you!'

Fenris already opened his mouth to make a silly pun but thought the better of it. Instead he said, 'Perhaps it was – '

Hawke shot upright and pointed an angry finger at him. 'Don't tell me it was fate or divine intervention!' she hissed. 'You know I don't believe in that crap.'

For a moment he was taken aback, then he coughed to mask a chortle. Yes, definitely mood swings. 'I just wanted to point out that by now the decision has been taken out of your hands and there's nothing you can do about it. So, please, don't fret.'

Marian relaxed and leant back against his shoulder. 'Of course. Sorry.' After another silence she asked in a rather small voice, 'Are you happy with it?'

If he was honest with himself, then he couldn't tell how he'd have reacted, had she fallen pregnant three or four years ago. He groaned inwardly. If he was honest, completely honest, then he had to admit he would probably have panicked. Hopefully not enough to leave her again, but panicked all the same. But now?

True, the timing was far from perfect. In fact, it couldn't be worse. But it only strengthened his determination to put an end to the horrifying situation, to fight for a world in which their child could grow up in safety. Their child… He pulled Marian close and with a sudden sharp realisation it got through to him that at that moment he held two living beings instead of just one. It filled him with a warm glow of gratitude.

'Yes,' he said, 'I am happy with it. I hope you are too.'

'I am,' she said simply and then chuckled again.

'What?'

'Varric was right after all, in the Fade I mean, when he was clumsily referring at my critical hormonal situation. I'll buy him a drink in the Herald's Rest when we return at Skyhold.'

'Before or after you have given him a heart attack?'

'I'll have to think about that.'

They were so wrapped up in each other that they didn't notice how Anders slowly slipped off his stool and ended up on the floor. He crossed his hands over his chest and pulled his knees up as a small child. He felt so tired, he thought he could sleep for at least a decade, so tired he thought he could sleep never to wake up again.

Leliana let out an exasperated grunt while she watched Cassandra stomp off with the grace of an accelerating outraged bull. Evelyn popped up at her shoulder. 'Problems?'

'She's getting suspicious about Anders,' Leliana sighed, 'and, frankly, I can't blame her. Swaddled in his cloak with that dark hood pulled over his face, he sticks out as a sinner in the Chantry.'

Despite the situation Evelyn was intrigued. 'Really? You can tell a sinner at first sight?'

Unperturbed Leliana said, 'Of course. They have a special swagger in their step. Plus they always try to crack the alms box and steal the altar silver. Being a pirate usually counts as a strong indication as well.' After a cheery snigger Evelyn didn't get, she sighed once more. 'We might as well put a sign over Anders's head saying: "Dangerous criminal right here"!'

'What are you planning to do with him?' Evelyn's heart sank at the thought of being forced to judge the Butcher of Kirkwall, especially after their trip through the Fade. She had noticed nothing about Anders that justified that sinister moniker. He had been willing to sacrifice his life for their benefit, for crying out loud! Even Cullen, who had been present at the gruesome occurrence in Kirkwall, seemed not to bear a grudge any longer. Hell, Fenris, Anders's worst enemy, had even volunteered to take care of him.

She gathered it had all to do with Anders being possessed by Justice. No, possessed was not the right word, this particular case was far more complicated. For starters Justice hadn't been a demon, he had been a spirit and even the most unknowing laymen knew the difference between those two entities. Cole had once been a spirit and he had nothing malevolent in him. And she clearly remembered Hope, as Cole had called his fellow spirit; she had been an example of pure kindness. But Justice, in the way she saw it, had been invited as a guest and had started to misbehave until the point he held his host hostage. He had been the one who had executed that deed of terrorism and it seemed the others realised it too. Anders had merely been a weapon, an instrument of vengeance.

Leliana's next words dragged her out of her musings. 'I don't think it's up to me to decide Anders's fate.'

Panic struck. 'Don't tell me it falls on me to resolve this particular problem!' Evelyn cried out, louder than she intended. 'This is not an average everyday trial!'

The Spymaster cocked her head. 'Are there any?' Without waiting for an answer she continued, 'I think the matter is too intricate and too delicate to be dealt with by just one person, even if that person is the Inquisitor.'

'Delicate,' snorted Evelyn derisively, 'that's one way to put it.'

'In fact, this isn't a case for the Inquisition at all,' the Spymaster went on, 'this concerns the whole of Thedas. We should bring him to Val Royeaux, he is dangerous.'

Evelyn started to protest but Leliana interrupted her. 'Hear me out, Inquisitor. The problem is that some, most, I presume, consider Anders a coldblooded murderer and want to see him hanged, or worse, without any trial, while to others he is a hero and a liberator. Even amongst non-mages. And they will surely make a martyr of him when, if, he is put to death. There will be riots, I'm afraid. So, yes, a delicate matter, or at least a matter that has to be handled delicately.'

Pensively Evelyn rubbed her brow. 'Actually,' she sputtered her objection, 'it wasn't even Anders who committed that crime. It was Justice, that spirit that lived in his, er, brain, or something. I don't think it's fair to blame him for the actions of another, even if that other was making use of his body at that time. And I'm not the only one of that opinion. Cullen thinks the same. And I'm positive Hawke and Fenris agree with us.'

'Keep that in mind when an angry mob try to lynch him,' Leliana said evenly, 'I don't think you get the chance to explain it to them.'

Suddenly the Inquisitor narrowed her eyes when a disturbing thought caught up with her. 'Why do you want to bring him to Val Royeaux? Who is there to receive him? There is no Divine! There's only a bickering hotchpotch of clerks and Mothers and Grand Clerics who play hoity-toity and think the world of themselves! Or do you want to give him as some kind of extravagant present to Empress Celene? I bet she will be pleased as a cat with a canary!' She fired a white-hot glare at her Spymaster that would have melted lesser women. But the Spymaster didn't budge.

Instead Leliana giggled very un-Leliana-like and said, 'Hoity-toity, very accurate. I like that word.' She cleared her throat and removed a non-existent speck of dust form her sleeve. That is to say, the Approach had dust and sand aplenty in store and you needed a full-size broom to get rid of it but she just wanted to compose herself. 'And you're right about Celene. Besides that, the Empress has lots of other things to worry about.' She smiled sweetly.

Evelyn stared hard at her. 'You don't intend to transport Anders to Val Royeaux at all,' she said flatly.

'No,' Leliana affirmed, 'they will tear him apart without any scruples over there and he deserves a fair court case. I agree with you about Justice being the evil genius behind it all. I never met Anders in the past but according to the stories of Elissa Cousland he was a totally different man before Justice happened. Not one who would ever come up with such an outrageous plan of blowing up buildings full of people. But even if we can proof it…' She let the words hover in the air.

'No one will accept that verdict,' Evelyn finished the sentence. 'So, if we're not going to send Anders to the vultures, what do we do with him?'

'I hoped you'd have some brilliant epiphany for I have no idea whatsoever,' Leliana confessed candidly.

'I haven't got the chance to think it over yet,' Evelyn said a tad prickly.

'Yes, making up is extremely time- and energy-absorbing,' mumbled Leliana under her breath while she innocently inspected the darkening sky.

Evelyn acted she hadn't heard. 'Perhaps we can lock him up in Skyhold's dungeons,' she said pensively, 'for the time being.'

But the Spymaster shook her head. 'Rumours will spread like a wildfire in no time. There's always a guard who can't keep his mouth shut, no matter how carefully we select them.'

'I could keep him in my rooms, at least for a while.'

Leliana stared wide-eyed at her and burst out with laughter. 'Good grief, Inquisitor! He's not a rabbit! And what would Cullen say?!'

'What would Cullen say about what?' Cullen asked at that exact same moment. Neither women had seen him approach in the dusk of the evening. He laid a hand upon Evelyn's shoulder and noticed her flustered face. 'Something wrong?' he informed concerned.

'We fear that Cassandra is onto Anders,' Evelyn explained worriedly.

'I'm not surprised,' Cullen said with a little shrug, 'he's so hard trying to make himself invisible that he's getting conspicuous.'

'So, what do you propose?' informed Leliana. 'I'm open to anything. Cassandra is relatively easy to distract or convince, but Maker forbid Vivienne gets wind of Anders's existence. The ramifications will be devastating.'

'Don't you think we could make her see our point of view?' asked Cullen hesitantly.

'No,' countered Leliana determinedly, 'Madame de Fer only has one point of view and that's hers. And she has much influence and many powerful relations. As long as we don't know what to do with Anders, we must keep this from her at all costs.' She looked around to spot inquisitive ears but could see little in the dusk. Nevertheless she wasn't willing to move elsewhere. They could as easily be overheard inside a tent, and standing on the main road of the encampment, they looked like people who accidently had bumped into each other and now were exchanging some everyday occurrences.

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck, as he always did when he was thinking. Evelyn found the little habit adorable and with force had to fight back the abrupt urge to hug him close and kiss him. 'I can offer some kind of solution,' the Commander, unaware of Evelyn's longing, finally said. 'I suggest we let Anders disappear under cover of the night and bring him with a handpicked guard to Skyhold. No more than six or seven men. A small group can travel faster than the host of the army.' He turned to Evelyn. 'I think you should be the leader.'

'Ah well,' she grinned scornfully, 'I expected that. I must say it's growing on me, that whole playing the leader thing. Like a bad rash, mind you. But I suppose you mean I have the authority to get Anders inside the castle without nasty questions asked.'

'Exactly,' smiled Cullen. 'We should have thought about this at the start but better late than too late.'

'I'm going to search for the people who were with me in the Fade,' Evelyn announced, 'including Stroud. They're the only ones who know about Anders and for the time being let's keep it that way. Cullen, can you take care of the provisions?'

'That, and I'll let the Horsemaster pick out the fastest mounts,' Cullen promised.

'Better let him pick out the strongest,' Leliana couldn't help comment, 'I deem this night stamina is more important than speed. Not everyone is a good rider, but I'm certain everyone in the Inquisitor's group can do without a night's rest. This is a really perfect idea, Cullen. Thank you. And I'll come up with a good excuse to explain your absence,' she told the Inquisitor. 'I'll make something up about a dangerous rift in the Hinterlands that urgently needs closing.'

'We won't reach Skyhold within a night,' Evelyn objected. She didn't look forward to a nightly trip through the desert and even less to the long journey home without Cullen at her sight.

'No, Inquisitor, I'm very well aware that will take several weeks, but you could do with a head start.' When no reaction came she added, 'Well, I'm off then. I'll put up my most wary face while I confer with my scouts, and start spreading nasty stories about a demon spewing rift many miles beyond Skyhold that require promptly the Inquisitor's attention. Good luck, Inquisitor.' With that she turned and walked away into the fast descending darkness.

'Yeah, thanks,' mumbled Evelyn glumly.

Cullen touched her cheek tenderly. 'Will you meet me in our tent to say goodbye before you set off?' he asked.

'Of course I will. Though, frankly, I don't want to go in the first place.'

Cullen pulled her in his arms and sought her mouth. Eagerly Evelyn let her tongue slowly and sensually intertwine with his. She dragged her fingers through his curly hair and moaned when she felt his arousal press against her leg. She sighed on his lips when they ended the kiss.

'I don't want to let you go,' he whispered regretfully, 'but, well…'

'Yes, I know. Duty calls,' Evelyn muttered sadly. 'I'll dream of you every night. I'll dream of you lying naked in my ridiculous large bed and about all the wicked, naughty, delightful sins I'm going to commit with you on that feather mattress.'

'Stop it,' Cullen groaned, 'before I drag you in our tent right now and commit those sins with you on the hard desert floor.'

'I'm all for it,' Evelyn breathed aroused, reaching out for his crotch.

They got interrupted by someone politely clearing their throat. With a jerk Evelyn removed her hand and looked up annoyed until she saw Fenris standing close by. The light of a burning lamp hanging over the entrance of a nearby tent illuminated his face. He was not looking happy.

'I'm sorry to disturb you, but it's about Anders,' the elf said gravely. 'He's not well and I'm afraid he's not fit to travel. Certainly not by horseback.'

'Why? What's wrong with him?' asked Evelyn alarmed. 'Should I send for a healer?'

'You could, but I fear it would serve no useful purpose.' Fenris took a breath and blurted, 'It seems like he did have the Calling after all.'

Ai, quite a bombshell I fear. You can hit me if it makes you feel better…

Thank you so much for reading!