"So warm." The thought crossed Eiji's mind while the blue eyes were still closed. He could hear the soft tap of the raindrops on the windows. It was almost 7 a.m and the storm had transformed into a calm drizzle.
He felt so safe and relaxed. There was also a familiar scent close. Eiji opened his eyes slowly and tiredly.
"Ah… it's Oishi-san's scent." He said to himself when noticing his head was on his chest and his strong arms were around him. Even though it was a wide bed, he was holding Eiji close.
Kikumaru was still very sleepy, so he just kept looking to Shuichirou's handsome face.
"My heart… is peaceful." There was a sudden need to caress his cheek and Eiji stretched his bandaged hand, his fingertips almost touching his mouth when the doctor moved a little, still asleep.
Eiji realized what he was about to do and his heart raced suddenly. He felt extremely embarrassed and blushed deeply, feeling his whole face burning. He panicked and slid quickly away from Shuichirou, until falling off the bed.
"Ouch!" luckily he remembered his injuried hand and held it close to his body, protecting it.
"Eiji-kun?" Oishi finally woke up and sat down worried, looking at him. "Eiji-kun, what happened?!"
"No…nothing." He tried to hide it, standing up quickly, but his back was hurting a lot. "I'm fine."
"What about your hand? Did you hurt it?!" Oishi tried to touch his arm to take a look at his injury, but Eiji retrieved his limb abruptly, surprising him.
"Eiji-kun?" he noticed he was extremely tense.
"I'm… I'm okay! I'm going to take a shower!" he said, before entering the bathroom in hard and fast steps.
Closing the door, Eiji leaned on it and he could feel his heart trembling inside his chest.
"What the hell just happened?!" he screamed on his mind, looking at his injured hand.
#########
"How was your day today?" Shuichirou asked Eiji gently. His head was low and the red bangs were over his eyes.
They were on Kikumaru's room. It was Thursday night. The doctor had arrived from work and was checking his bandage.
Since the roads were still closed in the morning, they could only return to Tokyo at lunch time. Shuichirou had sent a message to the hospital and they found someone to replace him, since the storm made some damages on the city as well.
The trip back home was silent and awkward and the days continued like that. Shuichirou would always try to make him talk, but Eiji avoided making eye contact with him and would only say the most necessary things. Every night after work Oishi would take care of his wound but he continued terribly quiet.
"It was okay." He responded dryly.
"Look, it's all healed now." He said with a kind smile. "It's a pity there's a scar, but I think it will fade away." There was a vertical scar crossing his pinky, ring finger and middle finger in a straight line."
"Thank you." He said, before standing up and going to the kitchen. He started to take some food from the fridge when Shuichirou arrived.
"Eiji-kun, what are you doing?"
"Dinner." He said, without looking at him. "We've been eating take outs because of my injury, but I can cook again now."
"Hey, there's no need to rush into it." Oishi touched his shoulder but he turned around quickly, distancing himself. "Eiji-kun?"
"To cook for you it's my job. I've already failed on you the past days, but I will do it properly. You can even discount from my salary, it's okay."
Shuichirou didn't recognize that upset look on his face.
"You were hurt. I would never discount from your salary, it was an accident. Why are you acting like this? It's not like you at all, being so gloomy and silent. Please, tell me what's going on."
"I'm fine." He said, turning his back on him again. "I'm going to prepare grilled chicken, is that okay?"
"It sounds good." His voice was extremely sad and Eiji's heart was tight inside his chest. "I'm going to take a shower. I'll be back soon."
"Okay."
#########
"What's wrong?" Tezuka asked, worried. It was Friday night and he had invited Oishi to spend the weekend. He had cooked pasta with shrimps but the young doctor was just looking at the food for a while, with no more interest. "Is it bad?"
"Ah." He was a little surprised. "I'm sorry. My mind just wandered for a bit. The food is very good." He ate a little more, but Kunimitsu knew something was off.
"What's troubling you?"
"Nothing, I'm okay." He showed a small smile.
"Are you sure?"
"Don't worry, I won't bother you with my problems. I'll bear with it until Haruka comes back."
Tezuka looked at him seriously for a moment, before getting up, leaving his unfinished meal behind.
Shuichirou noticed there was a slight frown on his forehead when he crossed the living room to his room.
"Tezuka?" he entered his bedroom.
"I'm going to take a shower." He said, already taking off his clothes.
Kunimitsu turned the shower on and entered inside the warm water. He watched the water dripping from his long bangs before Shuichirou's arms were around his torso and he placed a small kiss between his shoulder blades.
"You didn't have to come." He said, turning around and facing him.
"I upset you, right? I'm sorry."
"I'm also capable of listening to you. You don't have to hold back."
"I'm sorry." He kissed him. "I'm just… worried about Eiji-kun."
"What happened?"
"It's complicated." He held his hands and kissed him again. "But, I really appreciate you wanting to listen to me."
Tezuka cupped his face and kissed him deeply, his body pressed on his. His voice was serious but gentle.
"If you are troubled, rely on me as well."
Shuichirou was really touched by his words. They kissed for a long time under the warm water until Oishi picked up the soap near and his soapy hand was on Tezuka's erection. His tongue swept on Kunimitsu's lips before nibbling it. His larger hands slid on his wet back and he started to tease Shuichirou with his fingers while their mouths continued to devour each other. Tezuka was already throbbing and painful when Shuichirou put his hands on his hips and turned around, giving him permission.
His whole body trembled when Kunimitsu bound their bodies. He had a tight grip on his waist. His chest was glued to his back when he started to move and he could hear Tezuka's deep breathing on his ear, together with the sound of the falling water.
###########
Eiji arrived home late from college. He was staying way behind his regular time to avoid Shuichirou. Since he was not able to participate on the practical classes, he tried to study the theorical parts, but his mind was always invaded by the memories of that morning on the hotel and he would be totally useless.
He turned on the entrance lights after removing his shoes and looked around. It was extremely silent. Had Oishi gone to bed earlier?
Silently he went to the doctor's room and it was empty. Picking up his cell phone, he saw the message he had sent a couple of hours ago, saying he would spend the weekend away. He was probably with his girlfriend.
Eiji returned to the living room and sat down, releasing a deep, tired breath. At least, on the next days, he wouldn't have to see him and feel so terribly embarrassed.
He looked at the scar on his fingers and remembered the heartbroken expression of the young doctor on the day before. Eiji felt his eyes filling up with tears. He was only giving Oishi problems, even after he had done so much for him. He had put a strong façade about his trauma that crumbled it completely in front of him again. He clung on Shuichirou like a pathetic, crying baby that couldn't take care of himself.
Lowering his head, he felt the serious tears rolling down his face. What was that feeling that spread on his chest while they shared a bed on that horrible storm night? Why did he felt so safe inside Oishi's embrace? Why did he want to touch him like that?
He put his trembling hands on his face, trying to hold back his silent cry.
"What's wrong with me?" he asked himself, between sobs, feeling extremely lonely on that empty and dark apartment.
He wished Shuichirou would come home soon. He missed his gentle hand petting his hair and the green eyes while telling him everything was going to be okay.